LAMTAF 2: La Famiglia
by DreamQuill
Summary: Sequel to "Like a Moth to a Flame". Edward is a Don in the Volturi crime syndicate. He married his lover Bella and became a father. Can their relationship survive politics, the Mafia, & outsiders who seek to tear them apart? OOC, Canon, NC-17, AH
1. PROLOGUE: I'm Going Down

_**A/N:** This is the Prologue for the sequel of **Like a Moth to a Flame**. Chapter 1 of the sequel will start at Halloween. Through the chapters, we will see how Bella and Edward end up here. I plan to post the first real chapter this weekend. All LAMTAF posts will be blog first. FFN and TWCS will get them a day later. Please subscribe to get emails. Also love me to my hearts: **Robstenfan, Bert1987, Giulia, Skyebella98, Ashley, Becky, Jenn**, and all the others who keep me going.  
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**BLOG: .com-Link on my Profile Page. It will have songs, outfits, and more.**

**Recs: (all in my faves)**

**Mafia Princess **by Verucasin

**Trust, Loyalty, Commitment-**by Belli486

**The Late, Late Show with Edward Cullen**-by Chartwilightmom

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**Time on my hands  
Since you been away boy  
I ain't got no plans  
No no no no  
And the sound of the rain  
Against my windowpane  
Is slowly, is slowly drivin' me insane, boy  
I'm goin' down  
I'm goin' down  
Cause you ain't around baby  
My whole world's upside down  
Sleep don't come easy  
Boy please believe me  
Since you been gone  
Everything's goin' wrong  
Why'd you have to say goodbye  
Look what you've done to me  
I can't stop these tears from fallin' from my eyes  
Ooh baby **

I'm Going Down-Mary J. Blige

**PROLOGUE**

_**BPOV**_

Once upon a time, Edward and I were in love and couldn't get enough of each other. Lately, we only saw each other during his visitations with Dante. After his stent in rehab and everything coming out, it was just hard for me to look at him. Each day I woke up, I felt like a piece of my heart had been ripped from my chest. Since we'd been legally separated, I'd cried my eyes out an infinite number of times.

"Ma ma," Dante called, reaching for me in his sleep. I pulled him to my chest.

Things were bad, but I wouldn't rewind time and change any of it, because then I wouldn't have my baby boy.

"I'm here, little lamb. Mommy is right here."

The only sounds in the bedroom were of the fierce storm outside. It mimicked my internal mood. I wanted to rage, throw things, and beg him to give me answers. Edward owed me that, but I had too much self respect to grovel again.

Since I couldn't sleep, I flipped on the television. I was careful not to wake up Dante. He slept in my bed most nights, not because he was scared to sleep in his own bed, but because I needed him close. It was pitiful that he'd become my comfort. It should have been the other way around.

The minute the caption and images came onto the screen, I knew it was a mistake. Edward and his campaign manager, whom I suspected he was still fucking, were coming from some political dinner. He waved at the cameras as they got into a waiting car.

The bitch was wearing a strapless gold mini dress that showed off her voluptuous figure. It was sickening how much she loved the attention and all the accolades. Edward, clad in a Gucci tux, was all smiles, even taking time to pose with the Governor and his wife. The sight sickened me.

Thankfully, I made it to the bathroom before vomiting up the contents of my stomach. Truthfully, it wasn't only seeing Edward and his bitch that made me sick. I'd recently found out I was pregnant with twins. Remembering the night the were conceived still made me blush with shame.

_How could I have been so damn stupid?_

_**~~LAMTAF~~**_

_***Flashback**__*_

"_Come on, Bella. We're going home. What the fuck has gotten into you? You're here with your ass hanging out... Is this any way for a wife and mother to behave?" Edward asked, grabbing my arm._

_I snorted. "Why do you care? Fuck off, Edward."_

_A bouncer came to access the trouble. Felix re-routed him before he could anywhere near me. I saw Jane at the bar, shaking her head. She'd tried to talk me out of this, but I didn't listen. Edward didn't love me anymore. All I wanted was one night out dancing and getting drunk. Thankfully, Dante was at his grandparents for the weekend._

"_I care because you're my wife!" He screamed, picking me up._

_Not for long, I thought bitterly._

_The dazed club-goers clapped, laughed, and bowed as my husband carried me out of the dance club._

_One of our security men was waiting by the double doors. Fortunately, he kept his thoughts to himself. _

_I was wearing a short black leather skirt and red knee-high boots. My top was a revealing red halter that tied at the back. I looked like a slut. A few guys had hit on me before Edward showed up._

"_Put me down," I screamed, not caring who heard._

_Carefully, Edward set me on my feet. We shared a very intense stare down for around ten minutes. He broke first, pressing his body into mine. We were in an alley. I watched as Edward nodded to our chauffeur, letting him know to wait in the car._

_He pushed me into the wall, shrouding us in the darkness. Technically, we were in public, but no one was supposed to use this exit. Edward mumbled something about being clean and asked me to stop him. I'd known the minute we got into the alley we would end up having sex. Plus, I was just too damn drunk to care about all the reasons I shouldn't have been doing it with him._

_Slowly, I raised my leg and bent it at the knee. The red brick was wet against my already sweaty back._

"_What happened to us, babydoll? We used to be so good," Edward whispered, sucking my top lip into his mouth. He was still wearing his navy Hugo Boss suit, fresh from the dinner I'd skipped._

_I spoke plainly, letting him see the hurt in my eyes."You stopped being my husband and fucked other women. I'm tired, Edward. It's so hard to even look at you."_

_I wanted to protest as he ripped my red thong from my body, but my mound was swollen with need. I hadn't been touched in weeks. The only pleasure I got was from my Rabbit vibe, and it was no substitute for Edward's loving or a real man._

_In a daze, I helped him lift my slip of a skirt. Growling, he unzipped his pants. My brown eyes met his brilliant green ones as he plunged into me. Hissing, I buried my head in his neck while he pressed down on my clit. Harder and faster...the rain began to pour, mimicking Edward's thrusting._

"_Come for me, babydoll. Let me give you that. Come for me... I'm sorry..."_

"_Ungh...oh shit," I moaned, digging my nails into his buttocks._

_Edward's dick filled me up to the breaking point. My legs were wrapped around his waist. He pounded into me violently, like a wild animal. It reminded me of the first time we had sex. After awhile, I was just clinging. My mind went blank. I didn't care that we were in a semi public area or that I was soaking wet. I just wanted the orgasm to heal some of the pain I felt._

"_Babydoll..."_

"_Edward..."_

_We came at the same time, groaning and leaving marks on each other. I knew it was the end; nothing would ever be the same. As Edward tucked himself back in, I pulled down my skirt. Then we walked to the waiting car. The driver got out to open the door, but Edward waved him inside. Felix joined us a minute later._

"_I've called around, Bella. You will not be allowed in any clubs in Seattle. Don't disobey me," Edward threatened, fixing his tie._

_Turning, I slapped him across the cheek. In the front seat, Felix and the driver pretended to not hear our fight._

"_Fuck you, Edward. Why don't you go back to your bimbos and leave me the hell alone. I hate you."_

_Anger, hurt, vulnerability, and pain flashed in his eyes. I knew each look well, but I'd been through so much in the last few months that I didn't have any sympathy for him. Instead of letting me help him with the disorder, he'd used illegal substances and whores. We would never be the same._

"_Here," he grunted, tossing me a manilla folder._

_Inside were the separation papers I'd had drawn up by our lawyer, Jenks. In less than two years, our marriage had fallen apart._

"_So that's it," I said without emotion._

"_That's it," he replied._ Those were the last honest words we spoke to each other. It was utterly embarrassing knowing the babies inside of me were conceived in a seedy alley, and I wasn't looking forward to sharing that particular information to worried family and friends.

Returning to the present, I quickly rinsed my mouth a couple of times before returning to the bedroom. Luckily, my little man was still snoring peacefully. I curled up next to him before falling into a fitful sleep.

_**~~LAMTAF2~~**_

The next day, my sisters came by the house. Since the separation, Edward had been living at his Penthouse. Dante and I stayed in our so-called dream house. It had taken months to build to my specifications.

"You look awful, Bella. Don't you sleep at all?" Ali asked, taking Dante from me.

The housekeeper brought us salads and some mashed potato for Dante. He pounded on the table as his Aunt tried to get him under control.

"Not really. I miss him. It's so hard, Alice."

Rose took my hand, kissing me on the cheek. "I know, Bella, but you have DC. He needs you to take care of yourself."

Sniffling, I made the decision to let the other shoe drop. "I'm... I'm pregnant again."

The room went silent. Hilda, our housekeeper, continued to pour our drinks. Then, she quickly excused herself.

"Al... Al..." Dante cooed, trying to get his Aunt's attention. She stopped staring at me so that she could feed him a little.

"When? How? Wow..." Rose began.

I told them the story about the night in the alley. Alice scrunched up her nose, not at all amused, but Rose looked proud. I picked at my salad, feeling ashamed.

"Have you told Edward?" Ali asked.

"No! We don't really talk anymore. He's coming by today, though. I'm going to tell him, but it won't change anything. The situation can't get much worse."

Suddenly my phone buzzed. It was Angela reminding me that I had an afternoon meeting tomorrow. My first book was a bestseller, so the publisher wanted another one. After Angie and Ben finished their humanitarian work, they'd become partners in my bookstore cafe. A short time later, I got published and Angie became my agent.

Half an hour later, the doorbell rang. I'd changed into a champagne-colored Dior spring dress, because part of me wanted to impress Edward. Dante was wearing a light blue Polo set with matching slippers.

My baby boy ran to the door, as he'd been doing lately, to see his father. He'd started walking a few weeks ago and quickly learned to run. It was going to be hard to keep up when he became a toddler.

"Thanks, William," I heard my husband say. Our butler, like our housekeeper, was British. We'd found them during our European honeymoon, during which Edward wined and dined me in London, Paris, and Athens, Greece.

I smelled him before I saw his body. He was bouncing Dante in his arms. Our son was giggling as his daddy tickled his round tummy. I swallowed the tears that wanted to fall. No matter how much I wished otherwise, our marriage was over.

"Hello, Bella."

"Hello, Edward."

Hilda went to pour Edward a glass of Merlot. He looked fantastic in blue slacks with a blue and white striped polo. He sat on our black leather sectional. I took the love seat across from him. Dante babbled and showed his daddy his new toys.

Rose had to go back to work. She said a quick goodbye to Edward, Dante, and me before leaving. Alice, who was on her break, volunteered to change Dante. In all his excitement, he'd soiled his diaper. Edward was following until I caught his wrist.

"We need to talk."

He sat back down, taking a long swallow of the wine. I wished that I'd asked for a beverage, too.

Annoyingly, he surveyed me for several minutes. I gripped the seat to keep from fidgeting. His green eyes traveled from my sandal-clad feet to my full breasts. Eventually, he got to my face. Surprisingly, he had a bulge in his pants.

"Bella..."

"There's nothing left to say..."

"I have a lot to say! This shit has gone on long enough," he yelled, standing up.

After that, everything happened in slow motion. Edward threw me an envelope. I opened it to find divorce papers, which made my heart speed up. I couldn't breathe. He wanted..._ Oh god!_

I scrambled to come up with something, but my mouth was too dry to form words. Pacing the rug, Edward tugged on his hair. Sometimes, he stopped to look at me and curse. I held the papers in front of me like they were a hazardous chemical.

"So, what do you have to say about that, Bella? Do you..."

"I'm pregnant with twins... I think they might be girls," I screamed. Saying those words to him made it real for me.

At twenty-five-years old, I was about to become a single mother to three small children. Suddenly, I passed out and joined my parents on death beach.

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_If anyone wants me, I will be hiding with my Stoli. Baby Dante implores you to spare my life. Review and you get more. Don't and I'll assume you hate me or the fic. Sweet dreams, loves. Feel free to play around the blog._


	2. Chapter 1: Hold, Thrill Kiss, Kill Me

**_A/N: _**_Happy Halloween! I promised you another Chapter and here it is. Thanks for the overwhelming response to the first part. I hope you stay with me on this journey. Also, thanks to all the new people on Twitter that are following Donward and send him awesome questions. I want to thank my twarlings for keeping me going. Come join us, it's free of charge. A day with Twitter friends can make you very happy. The Prologue occurs around the middle (about chapter 15). We are on the events leading up to it. **Please look at the costume pictures and play around the blog. The songs from this chapter have been added to the playlist**. Don't eat too much candy and enjoy the lemons! Thanks to all the people that rec the story. I love you all._

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**You don't know how you took it**  
**You just know what you got**  
**Oh Lordy you've been stealing**  
**From the thieves and you got caught**  
**In the headlights**  
**Of a stretch car**  
**You're a star**  
**Dressing like your sister**  
**Living like a tart**  
**They don't know what you're doing**  
**Babe, it must be art**  
**You're a headache**  
**In a suitcase**  
**You're a star**  
**Oh no, don't be shy**  
**You don't have to go blind**  
**Hold me, thrill me, kiss me, kill me**

Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me-U2

_**EPOV**_

Jesus fucking shit! My babydoll's tight pussy was pure magic. She rode me hard, occasionally biting down on my nipples. That shit drove me crazy. I was two seconds away from busting my nut deep inside of her, when all of a sudden she… pulled my fucking hair too hard and drooled on my face.

_What the hell?_

"Bah-bah-bah."

I opened an eye to see my son's mouth one inch from my nose. A bunch of fucking spittle landed squarely on my chin. His tiny little fists pulled my hair as he babbled some baby nonsense. Groaning, I disentangled him from my burning scalp and sat up.

Glancing over, I saw that my babydoll was fast asleep with her tits still hanging out. Her long dark hair was braided on the top of her head, like a halo. The fucking demon, also known as Onyx, was curled up next to her on the pillow. I assumed that my wife had fed our son and then fallen asleep with him still in the bed.

The amazing fuck that I thought I was having was nothing more than a motherfucking dream. Now, not only was I hard as shit, I also had to entertain my son. I loved the kid but morning wood was fucking painful.

"Daddy is awake, DC," I said, reaching for his bottle.

While he ate, I watched the stock ticker on the television. I made sure to keep it muted so Bella wouldn't wake up. She'd been busy with her business, and now her first book was being published. I was so fucking proud of her for making her dreams come true, but that meant we had even less time together. The honeymoon was definitely over.

My son played with my forefinger as he nibbled on the bottle's nipple. He was already so damn big, and I loved him to death. Leaning down, I kissed his fat, rosy cheeks. A morning orgasm would have been fucking excellent but bonding with my kid was fun, too.

After he finished, I put him on my shoulder and rubbed his back. A short while later, I was rewarded with the sound of him burping. Now that he was five months, he could sit up but not for long. I liked watching him topple over, but Bella thought it was mean when I laughed.

"So, Dante, is there any chance you're going to let daddy have play time with mommy again?"

He just stared at me, sucking on his favorite pacifier. It was a three-carat diamond and white gold concoction. I wanted nothing but the best for my son. My babydoll had balked at the price. The thing cost almost twenty grand. I planned to have it formed into a ring for when Dante was older, so I considered it a good investment.

"Don't be like that, son," I teased, taking his pacifier away. Immediately, he started screaming.

Bella woke up, reaching for him. "What's wrong, baby boy? Mommy is here."

"I've got him, babydoll. Go back to sleep. Dante and I were just playing. I'm going to get him dressed so we can have breakfast. The cook should be here in a few minutes. Any requests?"

She sat up, snapping the tank top back into place and covering her gorgeous 38C breasts. I whimpered because that meant I definitely wasn't getting any pussy this morning. Dante grabbed his pacifier from my hand before Bella hoisted him into her arms. Next, the demon woke up, meowing before curling up on my babydoll's thigh.

Yawning, Bella reached for her phone. Fortunately, she put it on speaker without me asking. There was a message from some British motherfucker. He was clearly flirting as he fawned over her new book. I definitely didn't trust assholes like him. I planned on making sure he knew my babydoll was very happily married.

"I loved the picture you submitted for the back of the book. Your beautiful face will sell at least a million, love. Call me if you need anything. I'll be in Seattle next month, and I'm looking forward to taking you out for curry. Have a great day, love."

Smiling, Bella cuddled Dante, bouncing him lightly on her knee. I looked at her sideways, trying to control my fucking temper. Eventually, it got to be too much. The fucking caveman inside of me yearned for that British motherfucker's blood.

"What the fuck was up with all that "love" shit? He knows you're married, right? I refuse to let you go anywhere with that asshole," I ranted.

She rolled her eyes, covering DC's ears. "We can talk about this later, Edward. Can you please try not to cuss so much in front of our baby? Jesus, it's not like I'm considering sleeping with the guy. He's a work colleague, and he's been very nice in our teleconferences."

"He wants to fuck you, probably up the ass from the sounds of it. You're too naive to these things…"

Her brown eyes flashed with anger. "Here," she grunted, handing over Dante, "Go get him dressed. I'll meet you in the kitchen. I can't believe you're starting this stupidity so early this morning."

Scowling, I took Dante to his nursery. By that time, he'd left me a gift in his diaper. After cleaning him up and putting on a fresh diaper, I dressed him in a little pair of Levi jeans and a long-sleeved green onesie. He made me smile by sucking on his toes and making silly faces.

"Daddy fucked up, DC, and now mommy is mad at me. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm sorry for doing that in front of you. I need to go see Dr. Uley this week."

In answer, he blew spit bubbles.

Luckily, Bella was showered and dressed when we got back to the bedroom. Her black leather pants were too fucking tight and the gray shirt was off the shoulder. Her hair was blow-dried and left to hang down her back. For makeup, she had on some smoky shit that made her eyes look huge. I had a strong urge to strip her naked, bend her over, and fuck her ass before she left for the day.

"Oooopa," Dante squealed, trying to get to his mommy. That ended my fantasy. Our son had proven his cockblocking skills time and time again.

My babydoll looked over her shoulder and smiled. "You sound so nice, Dante. Let me put on my shoes, sweetness."

By "shoes" she meant black fuck me boots. I winced, watching her walk towards me. My cock felt like it was about to explode. There was no fucking way I was going to let my wife out of the house dressed in that shit. It was too revealing.

"Change. I don't like this outfit, babydoll. Dante can wait."

"I'm not changing anything, Caveward. Besides, your little bimbos wear much skimpier clothing, and you don't seem to have a problem."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, Bella? You're my wife. They just work for me. I thought you were over this shit."

"Well I'm not," she growled, taking Dante and exiting the room.

Like all pussy-deprived motherfuckers, I took a long, cold shower. When that didn't quell my erection, I had to use my hand. Lately, my babydoll and I had been fighting more. Em said it was to be expected, but I missed the good times.

After I finished, I got dressed in a slate gray, tailored Armani suit. I had a meeting with a union that was going to endorse me for State Senate. The campaign was going well, but my rival was trying to make me look bad. They'd already brought up HADES and my questionable morality; even having a wife and son didn't help my ass.

When I got to the kitchen, our cook, Ernie, was holding a spoon to my babydoll's lips. He was a big motherfucker, probably three hundred pounds and six-foot-six with dark black hair and eyes. He was one hundred percent Italian and had been cleared by the Volturi. Like most of my employees, he had weapons training. There was little chance that he'd ever have to use that shit, but I was nothing if not careful with my family.

I cleared my throat. "Is that biscuits and gravy I smell? I'm fucking starved."

My babydoll put Dante in his swing, tucking the blanket around his small body. He was starting to fall asleep. I kissed his forehead before taking a seat at the table. Ernie put a plate of country-fried steak and the biscuits and gravy I'd mentioned in front of me. Bella was eating an omelet and fresh fruit.

"You know I'd never cheat on you, babydoll," I said, taking a bite of steak.

She ate a grape, narrowing her eyes at me. "I don't know anything, Edward. I told you I don't feel comfortable with your new employees. You refuse to do anything about it. We have a meeting with Dr. A. tomorrow. Let's discuss it then."

The rest of breakfast was pretty fucking silent. Ernie left after packing our lunches. When he wasn't at our house, he worked for Garrett's restaurant. Now that Kate had her dentistry practice, Garrett was busy with Sasha in the day. Most of his clientele made night appointments to get their tats. The fucker loved being a father.

Half an hour later, the doorbell rang. It was Alice and Jasper. My sister was clinging to Jaz like he was going to run away. They were both glowing. I had to fight the urge to throw up watching them kiss all over each other.

"Morning, Bells. Where's my nephew?" Jasper asked.

My babydoll hugged her brother, ushering him and Ali into the kitchen. Dante was still asleep with his little fists curled up on his chest. The middle finger was up. Bella shot me a nasty look before tucking it back into his palm. Jaz and I fist bumped behind her back.

"My son is badass," I whispered.

He laughed. "Like his uncle."

Alice slapped him on the chest. "Sure, because you were so "badass" last night when we watched _The Notebook_ together.

Bella snorted. "That sounds more like my brother. Did I tell you about the time he cried watching _Lilo and Stitch_?

"Dude, that's lame as shit."

"Says the man that has likes to use expensive French hand lotion and get manicures," my babydoll teased.

Alice and Jasper laughed so hard they turned red. I picked up my son and put him in his car seat. So I liked having good-looking hands; there was no crime in that shit. I just wished more motherfuckers took care of their skin. I hated shaking hands with assholes with rough hands.

After that, we all took the elevator down to the private garage. I arranged DC in the back of my babydoll's Mercedes. I'd given up on arguing with her every fucking morning about letting me drive. She wanted to be independent so I was letting her. It didn't mean I liked that shit.

"Jane will be behind you. Have a great day, babydoll. Call me if anything happens. I should be home for dinner. I'll let you know if I can't make it," I said, helping her into the car. Jasper and Alice kissed Dante before getting into their own car and driving away.

After watching my family leave, I got into the Phantom. The first thing I did was call Jane to make sure she was behind them. Thankfully, she was fully healed and ready for the job.

"Hey, Cullen. I'm on it. It's a pleasure to watch Bella's ass in motion every day. I should be paying you."

I squeezed the steering wheel. "Keep your fucking eyes on her face, Jane. The only ass you should be looking at is Jessica's."

She laughed. "You're so easy, Cullen. I'm just yanking your chain. Little DC and his lovely mother will be fine under my watch."

"All I wanted to hear," I snarled, hanging up.

**_~~~LAMTAF~~_**

Traffic was a motherfucking nightmare. I used my middle finger more times than I could count. A text from Jane let me know that Bella and DC had arrived safely. Breathing a little easier, I pulled into HADES.

Felix and some of my other men were carrying in merchandise. The boxes were supposed to contain our liquor shipment, but under every fucking bottle were bags of uncut pure cocaine. This weekend was Halloween, so drug sales were expected to skyrocket.

Inside my office, Demetri was snorting a line of coke with my new campaign manager, Gina. I didn't use anymore, but who was I to tell them what to do? They were fucking grown ass people who could make their own mistakes.

Gina Bartello came highly qualified with a MBA from Yale, and six wins on her record. Now that she was in her thirties, she was looking for a bigger paycheck. I provided that and a less stressful work environment.

"Keep it to one line. I like my workers sober," I said, hanging up my jacket.

D laughed. "We're cool man. I just need to take the edge off. It's hard to sleep at night without Maggie. I can't believe she dumped me."

Shrugging, I sat down in my chair, or throne as Bella called it. "Can you blame her? You cheated multiple times, asshole."

Gina came to sit on the corner of my desk. She was wearing a black Calvin Klein skirt suit that barely covered her ass. For some reason, she had a white feather in her short, dark hair. She wore way too much makeup for my taste. My babydoll hadn't wanted me to hire her, but there were some decisions a man had to make for himself.

"What is cheating? Sometimes people just need a little variety," Gina mused, crossing her legs.

"I get all the variety I need from my wife," I said, lighting a cigar. "Trust me, I've been with tons of bitches and it gets old."

She pouted, hopping off the desk. "Right. Um, the campaign commercial we made with you and your family has been playing well in the suburbs. Many of the voters still feel you're too "modern", their words not mine, to lead the district. Collins has a longer political career, and the Republicans are putting a lot of support behind him.

"Don't worry about Steve Collins. I can handle him. I'm more worried about the fucking voters. We need to get the Seattle LBGT endorsement. Collins hates them, but they're a large contingent of the voting public. They could put me over the edge."

Gina put on her glasses and typed something on the computer. "You're actually neck and neck for that vote. Some homosexual voters don't care that Collins is a homophobe as long as their chosen party represents him.

I frowned. "What the fuck can I do? I've already came out in favor of gay marriage."

D poured a glass of Brandy. "You could make a commercial with two women going at it."

"How would that help, dumbass?"

]

He chuckled. "It might not help you, but it would help a lot of fucking men get an erection."

Gina rolled her eyes. "I'll work on it. There has to be something. The good news is that you're a shoe in for the Asian vote. Collins' leaked email where he called his old campaign manager "yellow" lost him that. You're also ahead with African-American and Latino voters. You can thank Waters for that," she said, referring to the man I was replacing. He'd been loyal to the Volturi for many years, but now wanted to retire with his wife.

Before I could answer, my phone rang. I clicked the screen. It was Marcus, calling to see how the campaign was going. The Volturi were counting one me nabbing the Senate spot. We were planning on re-zoning to make it easier to get our merch through the State.

"It's going well, Marcus."

"That's good to hear, son. Listen, the _Cosa Notra_ wants to do some business with us, but you know how they are about the Italian bullshit. Vince Campinelli is considered the head of the _Cosa_ right now. He wants to meet you."

"Shit! He's coming to Seattle? You know I hate those motherfuckers. They didn't respect my father and they don't respect me, just because we're not full blooded Italian. Fuck that!"

Marcus sighed. "Edward, I can arrange for you to meet them here, in Chicago next month. I don't like them either, but this is business, son. _La Camorra_ is your family and we will have your back. Supposedly Vinnie wants to change because he's tired of missing out on money due to his father's old prejudices."

"Okay, set it up. I'll have to talk to Bella about going for Thanksgiving. I swear to God, though, if shit goes wrong, I want them dead. _Capisce_?"

"Ciao, Edward," he said, disconnecting.

Gina excused herself to the restroom. A few minutes later, D. made an excuse to leave. I lit another cigar. They must have thought I was a fucking idiot.

"Don't fuck in my bathroom, asshole. I'll know if you do. Take that shit to one of the VIP rooms," I yelled, closing my office door.

Since I was stressed, I dialed Dr. Uley. We went over some calming methods. He also recommended that I apologize to my babydoll as soon as possible. After promising him that I would be at therapy later in the week, we hung up.

An hour later, Felix came to give me a progress report. The coke, blow, and weed were stocked in our underground storage. Cocaine was mainly for the rich motherfuckers who bought the girls for the night. Most of the club-goers were interested in the weed. I didn't sell PCP or meth out of HADES, because it made motherfuckers too psychotic. I did have a piece of all that shit that ran through Seattle, though.

"Thanks, Felix. How is Chelsea?"

The fucker beamed. "She's doing good. It's been really great since we moved in together. I think I'm in love."

"It happens to the best of us. Treat her right. I think she's one of the good ones." He nodded, leaving the room.

By the time I made my work calls and answered half of my emails, it was time for lunch. I called my babydoll, eager to hear her voice. Unfortunately, she didn't answer. I left her a message before dialing Jane, who answered on the first ring.

"Hey, stalker. Bella and Bree are going over schedules in the office."

Bree, insisting that she wanted to pay her own way, worked for at my babydoll's coffee shop/bookstore. She and Maggie still shared a condo not far from the University. Riley had a large home nearby-where I had been told Bree was spending most nights. I had already warned the asshole about breaking her heart. Liam was still riding my ass about what happened with Maggie and D.

"I'm not a fucking stalker. Did she meet with any men today? Did you see any assholes staring at her ass? I told her not to wear those damn tight ass pants…"

"Slow down. Yeah, some guys looked at her ass. It's what you men like to do. Some guys looked at her boobs, too. In case you wanted to know, I've been checked out. There are a lot of horny college students that frequent this place. You can't stop men from looking at your wife."

I picked up a glass and threw it into the fireplace. As usual, it helped me feel better. Dr. Uley and his fucking calming methods weren't at the top of my thoughts at the moment. I wanted to kill every man that eye-fucked my babydoll.

_She is mine!_

"I'm coming over there," I hissed, reaching for my jacket.

"You can't. Bella has a meeting with that Bill guy from the publisher. Bree is going to watch DC. I'll keep you posted, Edward. She's already mad at you. Don't make it worse."

Instead of breaking another glass, I squeezed two of my stress balls. They were a gift from my babydoll. Supposedly, they were supposed to help me control my temper.

"Okay. If it looks like he's flirting or he touches her, call me. I'm trusting you, Jane."

"Will do, boss."

Gina returned to my office with lunch. We ate while going over statistics. She made me laugh and she talked like one of the guys. I found myself enjoying her company, but I would have rather had my babydoll with me.

The day flew by after that. At six, my club secretary, Anna, came for her shift. She had long blond hair and a lanky body that she encased in body hugging clothes. I didn't find her attractive, but some of the other fuckers did. If she wanted to, she could have made a living as one of the club whores.

"Hey, boss," she said in her Jersey accent, "Is D here, yet?"

Demetri and Jasper managed the club most nights so I could be home with my family. If I won Senate, I would have even less time for HADES, but I loved my club. I still didn't trust anyone to know about the lair so that part stayed a secret.

"Not yet, Anna. He'll be here in a few. You know D, he's always fucking late."

"That's okay. Did you get the expense report I sent? I managed to talk your liquor guy into a fifteen percent discount." One of the reasons I'd hired her was because she wasn't afraid to use her sexuality in business. Some people didn't like that shit, but I wanted all the advantages I could get.

"I did. Thanks. I'll make sure you get a bonus in your next check."

"That's good. Then I can get that mink stole I had my eye on," she said, laughing.

"You should do that. I know someone that will give you a good deal. I gave Bella a white fur last month. It hasn't been cold enough for her to wear it yet, though."

Anna looked away. "That's so romantic, Edward. I wish I had a handsome guy to buy me nice presents."

I smirked. "Well, she is my wife. She gave me a beautiful baby boy, and she puts up with my ass. The least I can do is give her nice things."

Luckily D walked in before the conversation could go on. Anna was a fucking gold digger. I'd known women like her most of my life. Before I hired her, I'd made it clear that I had no interest in that area. There were plenty of rich motherfuckers who came through the club she could play, but not me.

"Hold it down, D. Jasper is downstairs. Be nice to Anna. I'm out, fucker."

"Have a good night with the wife and kid, bro. I don't envy you. Okay, maybe just a little," he teased.

On the way home, I stopped by Bella's favorite florist and picked up a bouquet of sunflowers. The woman yelled at me in Italian while her husband made up the order. I promised that I would try to do better. Then, she kissed my cheeks and let me leave.

When I got to the Penthouse, Jane was in the hallway talking to one of my other men. I got an update before going inside. Instantly, the smell of fresh rosemary and cinnamon assaulted my nose. My stomach rumbled. I hadn't had much of an appetite during lunch.

My babydoll was in the living room, sitting on the floor with Dante. They were watching _Baby Einstein_ together. Bella had changed into a pair of yoga pants and a tee shirt. Her hair was up in a ponytail. DC was between her legs, and she was helping him clap. I took a quick picture with my Nikon.

"Yowbabuh," my son squealed, kicking his fat legs.

After hanging up my jacket, I leaned down to kiss them both. My babydoll gave me some tongue, which I took as a sign that she'd forgiven my ass. I left to change into something more comfortable for dinner.

I was sneaking a piece of chicken from the pan when my babydoll caught me. She laughed, slapping my hand away. Then, she handed DC over to me so that she could fix us a plate. Exhausted, I sat down, playing and nuzzling my son.

When Bella brought over the food, I put him in his booster seat. Since he was a fast learner, he already knew how to hold his own bottle. We'd had some early cognitive tests done on him and our pediatrician believed that he might have inherited my photographic memory.

"Good boy," Bella cooed, handing him a bottle filled with organic apple juice.

My son sucked on that bottle like it was his last meal. He loved all the different juices that we'd tried out on him, except the prune. Actually, I probably hated the prune more than him because that meant a fuckload of diaper changes, and it wasn't pretty. Bella said she had to give it to him sometimes to combat constipation.

"He's heavier. Last time I weighed him, he was twenty one pounds," I said, making conversation.

Nodding, Bella cut into her chicken. "He's all fat rolls and dimples, just like I like him. Carlisle says he's very healthy. Earlier, he was trying to crawl. I'm sure he's going to be an active baby. Esme said you learned to walk at an early age and got into everything."

I forked up some potatoes. "Yeah, I was a fucking speed demon. Mom said she lost the baby weight running after my little ass. I also went through a nude phase where I refused to wear clothes."

She groaned. "I really hope Dante skips that. Um, how was your day?"

"It was good."

"I just want to say I'm sorry for being a bitch this morning. I trust you, Edward. I have to for this marriage to work. If that part is gone, we have nothing. I couldn't stay with you if you cheated one me. You know that, right?

I sipped my iced tea. My mouth felt like it was filled with cotton. Why was my babydoll talking about cheating all the damn time? I hadn't done anything to make her think I was unfaithful.

"You don't think I know that? I keep my dick in my pants, Bella. You can trust me."

She nodded. "Good. The publisher is planning to feature my novel in some prominent retailers. I'm currently at number fifteen on the _New York Times_ bestseller list. That doesn't matter, though. I'm just really happy that Vlad's wife's story is being told and Huilen's charity is benefiting."

"That's fucking great, babydoll. I'm so proud of you. I'm sure you'll be number one soon."

She beamed. "I hope so. Oh, and speaking of… They're all coming to visit us during Christmas. Nahuel is dying to meet Dante."

Groaning, I got a second helping of chicken. "Yeah, I'll make sure everything is arranged. He better keep his fucking hands to himself, though."

"You're such a caveman, Edward. Nahuel doesn't like me like that. He's my friend."

I apologized to keep the peace. By the time we finished eating, we were both tired. Dante, however, wanted to play. It took another two hours and a breastfeeding before he finally conked out. I read Dr. Seuss while my babydoll rocked him.

After that, we both tucked him in and turned on his starlight mobile. It played "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" on repeat while furry stars spun in a circle. I was just glad that Bella let him sleep in his bed now. His room was right across from ours with only a door separating us, and he we had the baby monitor in case he woke up.

When we got to our room, my babydoll washed her face and changed into a pair of pink short pajamas without underwear. My cock jumped as I watched her bend over to put something away. I needed a good hard fuck really bad or sleep wasn't going to happen.

I got into bed fully nude, palming my erection. "I've got a problem, Swan. Can you help me?"

She raised her eyebrows. "I'm really tired, Edward. I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you later."

As soon as he head hit the pillow, she was asleep. Onyx, probably returning from the bowels of hell, hopped on the foot of the bed and laid down. I turned over, facing away from my wife and tried to get some sleep.

I knew that she was tired, but lately our sex life was becoming non-existent. We used to be so hot for each other, but time and a kid threw a wrench into all of that. I hadn't planned on this shit when I got married.

Because I couldn't sleep, I went to the den and called my brother to see if he was still awake. "Em."

"Hey, Edward. What's up, bro?"

"Nothing, I'm just… Bella… It's like we're drifting apart. She's tired a lot and I get it, but I miss us."

He chortled. "Welcome to the club, Edward. Once the kids are born, you become less important. It takes some getting used to, but when you do finally get some, it's really damn good. Give her time."

I ran my fingers through my hair. "I know, and I feel like a fucking selfish asshole for even feeling like this. Bella is a great mother."

"It's normal, dude. Be patient and you'll earn some brownie points. How's the Senate thing going? My female clients love your flier. Most of them have been stolen."

""It's good. I just need to find a way to get the gay vote."

"I can't help you there, but I think you can win it. Then, maybe you can get all of Rose's speeding tickets canceled. She drives like a NASCAR racer."

We shot the shit until he had to go to bed. I felt better after talking to Em. After eating a bowl of flan and having a glass of Scotch, I was able to sleep.

When I woke up, my babydoll was kissing her way down my torso. I smiled, tangling my fingers in her hair. This was definitely not a fucking dream. Her naked body was on fire, making me shudder as her nipples made contact with my happy trail.

"That feels so fucking good, babydoll."

Lightly, she bit down on my hips. I bucked against her while she scraped her teeth on my upper thighs. It had been a week since she gave me a blowjob. I just hoped I wouldn't come too early.

"You taste so good, honey. I love you."

The next thing I felt was her mouth sucking on the head. Watching my babydoll bob her head up and down on my cock, made me swell even larger. I had to think of stock symbols to keep from jizzing.

"Fuck," I screamed as she yanked on my balls. "Right there, babydoll."

She went fucking deep throat on my cock, humming and scratching her nails on my thigh. I thrust deeper into her ,mouth. That shit felt like heaven. A minute later, she came up gasping for air. Thankfully, she didn't remove her soft hands from my shaft.

"Do you wanna come in my mouth or in my pussy?"

"Fuck! Pussy," I moaned.

She was lowering herself onto me when the baby monitor came alive. Our son was squealing. Bella moved, trying to run to him.

"Where are you going? Let him cry. It's good for babies."

She pulled away. "He's screaming. What if something is wrong? I'm sorry, Edward. Um, just give me a minute."

I stared down at my pained, fully-erect cock. "I don't have a minute, babydoll. This shit hurts."

"I know, and I'm sorry," she said, putting on her robe and leaving the room.

I managed to finish myself, but my hand was no substitution for pussy paradise. With a start like that, I knew the day was going to be shit. We had breakfast together before going through the normal routine. I was fucking bored.

**_~~~LAMTAF~~_**

Sensing my bad mood, Gina tried to cheer me up. I gave her more work than necessary to keep her off my back. I needed to get laid and pronto.

Bella and my sisters were participating in a fashion show for Alice's boutique next month. She had lunch with them going over outfits. I didn't want her to be in the show, but she didn't listen to me. Luckily, we were both against her modeling lingerie. Jaz and Em had my back on that point.

By the end of the day, I was fucking pissed. Instead of going home, I joined a couple of patrons in the club. Some new bitch tried to give me a lap dance, but I shooed her away. I just watched the sad motherfuckers believe that the strippers liked them. More than half of the guys were wearing wedding bands.

"I can help turn that frown upside down if you'll let me," Aurora said, loosening my tie. She was one of the new dancers. I suspected her blood red ringlets were fake, but they were a big draw. She also wore blue contacts. I didn't know what the bitch looked like without all her add-ons.

"Only one woman can do that, and it ain't you. Move on. That fat guy at the end of the bar is a big tipper." She stomped away angrily.

By the time Jessica walked over to the bar, I was on my third drink. "Go home, Edward. Jane called. Bella is pissed. She's been trying to reach you."

I pulled out my phone, noticing five missed messages. "Shit."

"Shit is right. You have a wife and baby at home that need you. I'll keep the girls in line."

Nodding, I let Felix help me with my coat. He insisted on driving me home. My buzz had kicked in so I didn't give a fuck either way.

"Where the hell have you been, Edward? It's almost midnight," Bella yelled, poking me in the chest.

"I was at the club. If something had of happened, you would have gotten a call."

"I'm sorry, Bella. We tried to make him come sooner. Good luck," Felix said, making a quick exit.

"Whatever," I said, taking a seat on the couch.

"Did you forget about our treatment today? Dr. A. went over things with me, but it would have been better if you were there. Talk to me, Edward. What's wrong."

I snorted. "It's so fucking mundane now. We used to fuck each other like animals almost every day. Now, you're never in the mood or Dante is crying…"

"Don't you dare! Our son is not responsible for you acting like a jackass. So we have less sex, is that all our relationship is based on?"

I laid down on the couch. Bella was really fucking up my buzz. "No, but men have needs. I'm around pussy all fucking day. I turn it away because I have you, but lately…"

She picked up a pillow and hit me over the head several times. "You're saying that you should be allowed to cheat because I'm not putting out? Go fuck yourself, Edward! Better yet, go fuck another woman."

"That wasn't what I meant…"

She laughed. "Guess what, ass? I got Dante to sleep early so we could have a romantic night because I felt bad about this morning. I guess I'm the only one that wants to keep this marriage going."

"Babydoll, wait," I said, standing up.

"No, just… sleep in another room tonight."

I must have passed out on the couch. When I woke up, I was still in my wrinkled suit. Wincing, I went to take a shower and put on sweatpants. I took a fucking pill because both of my heads were throbbing and in pain.

After that, I went to the nursery. Dante's big green eyes were wet with tears, but he wasn't screaming. Worriedly, I lifted him out of his bed.

"Hey, little man. What's wrong?"

His little lips began to quiver and his face was pale. "Bella," I screamed, busting into the bedroom, "something is wrong with Dante. He's sick."

She was beside me in a minute. "Oh my god, Edward! He's burning up." She went to the bathroom and returned with a thermometer. Then, she inserted it into his armpit. She held it down for a few minutes.

"He's one hundred and two point five. Call Carlisle. I'll get a cool cloth for his head."

Thirty minutes later, my mom and dad showed up. Esme leaned down to feel Dante's head. My babydoll had an iron grip on him. Carlisle pulled out a bottle of something.

"This is infant Tylenol. It should help cut the fever. Bella, you're going to have to put him down so I can have a look."

She sobbed. "Okay, just help him. I can't stand that he's in pain."

I held her hand as Carlisle examined every inch of our son. He leaned DC back and used the dropper to give him some medicine. Our son cried, spitting out the first dose. Fortunately, the next one stayed down. Esme assured us both that he was all right. My babydoll nodded, but she was still crying.

After the exam, Dad put D.C. back into Bella's arms. "He's fine. It's just a cold. He's only a few months old so his immune system isn't fully formed. It's to be expected now that he's going out more."

"It's my fault. I should have kept him warmer. I'm a bad mother," she sniffled.

I tried to comfort her. "No you're not, Bella. Babies get colds all the time."

"Edward is right, Bella. Most babies have a dozen or more by the time they reach a year. Dante's a very healthy baby. He can fight this," Carlisle said, wrapping his arm around mom.

"You're both welcome to the spend the night. Thanks for coming so late." It was almost two in the morning.

"That's okay, son. Your mom and I are glad to help. I suggest you keep him for the day. Monitor his fever. If it gets higher, bring him to the hospital."

We were up all night with our baby. I felt fucking awful. My babydoll was frantic, so I spent half the time trying to keep her calm. She gave him a cool bath. DC refused both the bottle and the breast. I walked him around the apartment, humming soothing songs while Bella napped.

The fever broke before seven in the morning. Around that time, our family began to call. With the level of panic, you would have thought Dante was in the hospital. I had to repeat Carlisle's diagnosis over and over again.

"My poor nephew. I can stay with him so you both can get some sleep," Ali offered.

A minute later, Jasper chimed in. "Tell Bella not to blame herself. I know how she is. It won't be a problem for us to take D.C."

"No, we're good. Jaz, I need you to oversee things at HADES. I'm taking the day off."

"No problem, bro. We'll drop by later."

"Tell Bella we love her and kiss Dante for me, Edward. Tell him his Aunt Ali is going to buy him another teddy bear."

"I will and thanks. They'll be fine."

All my fucking phones rang off the hook, but I let them all go to voicemail. My family needed me more than any of those motherfuckers.

In the bedroom, Bella was in bed looking down at our son, who was laying on his stomach in the middle. Thankfully, he seemed to be sleeping peacefully. I laid down on the other side, kissing the back of his head.

"I was so scared, Edward," she cried, kissing my hand.

"I know, babydoll. I'm so fucking sorry for how I behaved. I shouldn't have stayed out like I did. I'll double our therapy time next week. Please, forgive me."

"He's such a little angel. Look at him." Our son did look really sweet, with his little thumb in his mouth.

"I forgive you. I just want us to talk about things. We're different now. I don't always… I can't always make love to you. We just have to work harder. I don't want us to burn out. All I can think about is...what if tonight happened and you weren't here? You're our rock, Edward. We need you."

I pulled her as close as I could without disturbing our son. "I need you both, too. This little family means everything to me. I'll always be here for you and DC."

She nodded. "Good. I'm really tired. Let's just go to sleep. I love you."

"I love you more, babydoll." Yeah, that shit was sappy but it was how I felt.

We stared at each other for a long time. Dante babbled, but he didn't wake up. Eventually, my babydoll closed her eyes. I kissed her head, and then DC. A few minutes later, I joined them in dreamland.

I woke up alone in bed around nine in the morning. After stretching, I went to find my family. Bella was in the nursery breastfeeding Dante. His color was back, and he looked happy.

"Good morning, Edward. There's breakfast in the kitchen. I already ate."

Smiling, I leaned down to give them a morning peck. "Is he good?"

She nodded. "He's fine. The fever is gone, and he's eaten twice."

Dante unlatched, turning and reaching out for me. I lifted my boy in my arms, breathing in tha sweet powdery baby smell. All was well in my world again.

I hugged him to my chest, rejoicing in his strong heartbeat. "You scared me, little guy. I love you so much, Dante."

We spent the whole day together. Various family and friends came by to see DC. The women comforted my babydoll. Alice bought a shitload of toys, and as usual, Dante was more interested in the packaging. For some reason, he liked hearing bubble wrap pop. It scared most babies, but it made him laugh.

"He's tough, Edward. A little fever won't stop DC.," Em said, handing me a soda.

Colin and Brady didn't understand Dante's illness, so they tried to put band-aids on his arms and legs. Rose had to explain that his "ouchie" was on the inside. They spent the next hour telling the "sickies" to leave their baby alone. It was pretty fucking cute. I liked the fact that they were already close and protective.

After Carlisle gave Dante another examination, everyone left. Bella and I spent the night watching movies and monitoring our son. We discussed the campaign and planned to spend Thanksgiving in Chicago.

"That works for me, Edward. I'd like to see where you grew up," my babydoll mused, cuddling closer to me.

"We'll have fun. Last Thanksgiving wasn't great. I'm determined to make it up to you."

She buried her face in my chest. "I was such a bitch last year."

"Yeah, but it was my fucking fault. We've been through so much shit, babydoll. I really want us to last. I love you."

A little while later, she fell asleep in my arms. I carried her to bed. Dante slept peacefully in his own bed. The fever didn't return.

**_~~~LAMTAF~~_**

Two days later, my babydoll and I had lunch at her coffee shop. It was in the business district and close to the college, so there were a lot of customers. Bree and Maggie insisted on taking Dante so Bella and I could talk. Never one to turn down beautiful women, my boy smiled and cooed.

"Oh god! He's so beautiful," some random girl yelled, following Bree. Dante made one of his happy noises.

I smirked. "Like father, like son."

My babydoll giggled. "Puh-lease. They didn't even look at you. Dante has stolen daddy's thunder." I had to laugh at that shit. If I had to forfeit the crown to someone, I was glad it was my son.

After she stopped laughing, my babydoll took a bite of her salad. "Guess what? I think I've come up with something to help you win the LBGT vote."

Some guy across the way was eye-fucking. I gave him the finger and opened my jacket so he could see the fucking holster. It must have worked because he got his shit to go.

"What's that, babydoll?"

"Um, have you ever had a drag show at HADES?"

I spit out my iced latte. "We're not that kind of club. My clientele…."

"I know, but it's Halloween. I don't think they'll mind. The girls can dress up and you can have some of the city's top drag queens perform. Announce it on gay-friendly radio stations and newspapers. It will set you apart from Collins."

I texted Gina. She loved the idea and made plans to start advertising. Then, I sent an email to Jasper and D explaining what I wanted. Surprisingly, they were excited. D said chicks loved drag queens so he was expecting to get a lot of pussy. He talked a big game but would probably spend the night keeping fuckers away from Maggie.

"Um, and actually I have another idea to put you over the top, but you might not go for it." I knew that look. My babydoll was about to fuck me over.

"What?"

"Have you ever see _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_? The transvestite, Frank N Furter… You have a nice tush and great legs, Edward."

"Oh god, " I groaned, pulling on my tie. "Are you punishing me for the other night?"

My babydoll laughed. "No. I honestly think it's a good idea."

She leaned across the table seductively. A few seconds later, she placed her foot right over my crotch. I took a deep breath, trying to remember that we were in public. "It would turn me on. I'd love to see you walking around in heels and garters. Only a man that's secure in his masculinity could pull it off. You're the club owner. Imagine how excited everyone will be."

"Okay, but I swear I better get one good hard fuck out of this, babydoll. Am I going to have to shave my legs for this shit?"

**_~~~LAMTAF~~_**

By the time the weekend came, I was shaved and ready. Em had blew a fucking gut when he found out who I was going to be. Rose didn't like that one bit. They had planned for him to be a football player and her to be cheerleader, but she switched it. Em was going as the chick.

My sister, not wanting to be left out, insisted that Jasper be Barbie. She was going as Alice from _Alice in Wonderland_. I gave Jasper credit for fighting it, but just like me, he lost. We were going to look fucking ridiculous.

Bella and I fought over Dante's costume, too. She wanted him to be a fucking sunflower. I'd chosen a baby Superman and a ninja outfit. Eventually, my babydoll found a _Winnie the Pooh_ costume that she fell in love with. She even got him a bottle that looked like a honey pot.

Fortunately, my parents volunteered to babysit. I was willing to hire a nanny for the night, but my mom insisted. She said she didn't get enough time with her grand babies. Carlisle had been on call the whole week, so he was looking forward to spending a night inside.

As soon as we stepped into my parent's house, DC's infectious laugh filled the air. He knew he was about to be spoiled rotten. C and B ran out with huge pumpkins filled with candy. Esme told us she'd already explained why Dante couldn't have any. The boys were both dressed as Tigger, so they got a kick out of DC's costume.

The women took a bunch of fucking pictures. They even set up the camera equipment so Di could see it all. It was a madhouse. Mom and Carlisle's house was one of the top trick or treat spots, so the doorbell never stopped ringing. I was just glad I hadn't changed in to my costume yet. Before we left, mom made Bella promise to send her pictures of me in drag.

"Be good for papa and nana, Dante," Bella said, kissing him on the cheeks.

He gurgled, playing with my mom's hair. She asked us if it was alright if he had some mashed banana and tapioca pudding. We both agreed. I swear DC understood the conversation. His pudgy little legs went crazy. He was definitely a future football star.

My babydoll was frisky in the car. We ended up pulling over so she could suck me off. This time I was able to finish. By the time we got home, I was fucking ecstatic.

Bella practically skipped to the bedroom. "I'm going to put my costume on, Edward. No peeking." Unfortunately, she had kept it a fucking secret, which didn't bode well for me.

My costume was a fucking nightmare. I had to wear a jockstrap underneath the black briefs. That shit barely held my dick. After I put on the black corset vest, garters, gloves, and stockings, I looked in the mirror. Bella had been right about my ass-it was fucking perfection. I flexed a little before putting on the heels. My sister had even provided a hair net to go with the curly, black wig.

A few minutes later, Bella came in to apply my makeup. Her costume was too fucking hot for the public. I had to use my calming breathing exercises and dig my nails into my hands to stay calm.

"Wow! I knew you'd look good in that, Edward. Your legs look better than mine, " she joked.

"Very funny. Do you really think you're leaving the house in that shit? Those stockings are see though! Please, go change."

She shook her beautiful head. "Nope. I'm a Transylvanian temptress. I don't follow _your_ rules."

I groaned, surveying the full costume. It was long sleeved, black and red lace corset tutu thing with fishnet stockings. Her hair was curled and a little matching hat pinned to the side. She even had on heavy, black eye liner and blood red lips. When she smiled, I saw the fangs.

"Fuck me."

"I definitely will later, Edward. I'm going to fuck you all night long. Now, sit down so I can put on your lipstick."

After being assaulted with blush, powder, an eyelash curler, and a white pearl choker, I had a new appreciation for women. My babydoll even included a red boa so we would match.

"You look hot," she said, biting my neck.

I pulled away. Her fake teeth fucking hurt. "I'm glad you're happy. Promise me that we'll never show our kids pictures of me dressed like this. I'd like to keep my dignity."

I'd arranged for a stretch Hummer limo to pick everyone up. I felt less self conscious when I saw Em and Jaz. My poor brother in law was in a pink dress and a curly blond wig. The kicker was the white go-go boots. Like Bella's costume, Alice's was too revealing but they didn't want to hear that shit, so I kept it to myself.

Em made the ugliest fucking cheerleader of all time. He had on a red and gold skirt and tank top. He and Jaz had been made to wear fake tits. Thankfully, my outfit didn't call for that.

Rose was wearing a full on football uniform with her hair tied up. She almost died laughing when she saw Jasper and me. I narrowed my eyes at her as she complimented me on my legs. Em pretended to be jealous until she told him he had a sexy stomach.

Something about my costume made my babydoll horny as shit. She couldn't keep her small hands off of me. To give us some privacy, I turned on the strobe lights as everyone passed around the champagne. Loud techno music blasted from the speakers making everyone dance.

When I was sure that no one was looking, I slyly dipped my finger into Bella's pussy. She was already extremely wet. I also played with her clit, giving her just enough to get hot but not get off. She pouted when I pulled my hand away.

Bree and Riley went traditional. He was prince charming, and she was a princess. Maggie ended up bringing some new guy that she was seeing. She was dressed as a cat and the guy was a surfer. I had my doubts about the asshole because he liked my costume a little too much.

There was a long ass line of people when we pulled up to the club. Since I was doing this for press, I had our driver pull up in front instead of parking in my private garage. Everyone stared as we exited.

Bella and I were the last out. People began screaming and clapping. I took my babydoll's hand, smiling and waving to the crowd. Too many motherfuckers whistled at my wife. I palmed my black clutch, which contained my SIG. I didn't go anywhere unarmed.

When we stepped inside HADES, the first lines of Outkast's "Dracula's Wedding" greeted us. My babydoll pulled me into her arms, grinding her tight ass right over my cock.

_You're all I've ever wanted, but i'm terrified of you  
My castle may be haunted, but i'm terrified of you  
I've cast my spell on millions, but i'm terrified of you  
Baby i do this from the ceiling, but i'm terrified of you  
I wait my whole life to bite the right one  
Then you come along and that freaks me out  
So i'm frightened..(oh!)...Dracula's wedding  
I've never ran from no one, but i'm terrified of you  
See my heartbeat is a slow one, but i'm terrified of you  
I've been around for ages, but i'm terrified of you  
Put my fang across the stage, but yet i'm terrified of you_

She turned around so that we were face to face. Then she grabbed both of my ass cheeks, pushing me into the wall. It was too dark to see clearly but I felt her fangs on my neck. I slipped my hands under her skirt to cup her hot little ass. Unfortunately, we were interrupted.

The President of the Seattle LBGT business community and a few reporters came to do short interviews with me. They also took a lot of fucking pictures. I sighed, realizing I would be all over the papers in my drag costume.

Bella and my sisters had a blast, dancing and singing along with the drag queens. We had Liza, Donna Summers, and even Cher. The club was beyond capacity, but the fire chief was in our fucking pockets so I wasn't worried. By that time, Bella had drank three glasses of champagne and was extremely horny.

"Cause it's voodoo voodoo voodoo (under your spell). 'Cause it's voodoo voodoo voodoo (under your spell)," she sang, pointing at her name over my heart.

I was pretty sure what we were doing on the dance floor was indecent. There was no sign of the rest of our party. They were all off fucking around in the club. I didn't even want to think about Jaz and my sister in his office. _Yuck!_

I was fondling Bella's ass and dry humping in a secluded corner when the DJ put on "Starstruck" by Santogold. It was one of my babydoll's favorite songs. Sighing, I let her pull me back out on the dance floor.

The patrons knew who I was, so they gave us space. The bitches were cleaning up in the private rooms upstairs. A few of them wandered around, but they didn't touch me or say shit. News of Lauren's banishment was still fresh in everyone's head. I knew Jane had bought Jessica for the night, so one of the other bitches was running the girls.

Later, Gina came over to say hello and complimented my babydoll on her costume. Gina's devil costume didn't leave anything to the imagination. Some guy dressed like Bill Clinton pulled her away a few minutes later.

"I hate that bitch," Bella said after Gina was out of earshot.

"She was nice."

Bella snorted. "Nice my ass. She wants you. I still think you should fire her, but it's up to you."

I pulled her closer, nibbling on her neck. "I don't want to fight with you tonight. Whether she wants to fuck me or not isn't important. I don't want anyone but you."

She licked my neck and ground her pussy against my knee. "Take me to the champagne room."

I almost broke my fucking legs to get to the elevator. Motherfucking high heels were harder to walk in than they looked. Felix and Chelsea, wearing Frankenstein costumes, winked at us. Bella tried to stop and talk, so I lifted her into my arms. Felix chuckled, promising that he had things under control.

The VIP bitches loved seeing me in drag. They made jokes and laughed as I passed. I stepped on a few motherfucker's toes for looking at my babydoll. The only cock she'd be working was mine.

Finally, we got to my personal VIP room. I'd never fucked Bella in it before, but it was kept clean for me. One of the girls brought a fresh bottle of Dom. I poured a flute for my babydoll, watching her giggle when the bubbles tickled her nose.

Suddenly, she put her drink down and stood up. My mouth dropped open as she began to strip. Underneath the corset was a red thong and tassels that covered her nipples. I grabbed the bottle and fucking guzzled.

"Like what you see, Husband?" She asked, bending over.

"Fuck." Each time I saw the "Property of Edward Cullen" tattoo on her ass, my cock went crazy. She'd gotten it for her twenty-fifth birthday last month. We had fucked a lot that weekend. I was really surprised that I hadn't knocked her up again.

After straddling my lap, she let her hair down and began to gyrate her hips. I took off my gloves so I could feel her silky soft skin. She fucking purred in my ear. Then, she pulled my wig off. The vest came next. Before long I was down to just garters and stockings.

"Keep those on," Bella commanded.

"Whatever you want, babydoll."

Next, I pulled the tassels off with my teeth, smiling as her nipples hardened. I sucked them into my mouth, alternating between licking and biting down on her tit. Pretty soon, I was rewarded with Bella's sweet breast milk. She licked inside my ear, whispering "fuck" over and over again.

"Get up on the table."

My babydoll nodded, and then, walked over and laid down on the cloth. I sipped champagne as she dipped her fingers into her sweet hot pussy. When she licked her juices off of the forefinger, my cock jumped.

"Do you want to taste it, Edward? It's always for you, and you only."

Her eyelids fluttered as I walked over to the side fisting my cock. My babydoll's whole face was red. I figured one hard lick would make her come.

I pulled out the chair, taking a seat. Then, I poured champagne in her bellybutton. Like a fucking dog, I lapped that shit up, following the line until I reached her pussy. She spread her legs wider, giving me better access.

"Fuck, you taste good. Do you like this?" I asked, pinching her little nub.

"Yes. Oh god, yes," she screamed

Continuing to pour and lick, I worked my way up to her tits. She groaned, looking deep in my eyes. When I got to her mouth, I kissed her hungrily, starving for the sweetness inside. I tossed the fangs. My fingers probed deeper into the valley until I felt her come apart. She screamed her extreme pleasure into my mouth.

"Was that good enough?" I asked, backing away.

"Perfect."

She wrapped her legs around my waist. My dick stiffened between my legs, daring me to take what was mine. I lined it up and plunged inside. The first thrust was always more potent that any street drug.

"Tell me... Tell me what you want," I grunted.

"Hard! Please."

I placed her legs over my shoulder. "You can do better than that, babydoll. Talk dirty to me."

Hissing, she gripped my arms. "I want you to fuck my pussy hard and fast. Make me scream."

Suddenly, I stopped and pulled out. My babydoll whimpered as I took a seat on the big black leather couch.

"What else do you want, babydoll?"

She hopped down, coming to kneel in front of me. Seductively, she took off my knee highs and used them to bind my hands over my head. I looked over in the mirror, noticing that most of my makeup was still on. The waterproof and all day shit must have really worked.

"I want you to stick your big cock up my ass and let me ride you, beautiful."

I chuckled. "That's more like it, babydoll."

She bent over so that her ass was only a few inches from my face. I stuck out my tongue, groaning when I realized she was just of reach. Slowly, she backed her ass into my face. I rimmed her hard, biting down on the tattoo and making her scream.

"Good, boy," she said, backing away.

After that, she took off her shoes and put a bunch of lube up her ass and on my cock. When she lowered herself onto me, my legs began to shake uncontrollably. My nuts were about to burst.

"Fuck! I'm not going to last."

She looked over her shoulder, winking at me. Then, she flexed her sphincter, which made her tiny hole even tighter. I broke free of the restraint and pounded the shit out of her ass. The sounds of wet sex and skin slapping against skin filled the room. My babydoll reached back, running her hands through my hair.

"Yes! Just like that... Ungh... Ungh... Edward... I'm so close."

Hearing her moan and call my name turned me on. I stuck three fingers into her pussy. She screamed, having another orgasm. One of my hands twisted her nipples while the other squeezed her clit. Eventually, her voice turned hoarse and she began sobbing.

"So good. I can't take it... Please... You have to come...," she pleaded.

Every nerve and muscle in my body was on fire as I thrust into the best ass in existence. Suddenly, it all felt too damn good. A minute later, an orgasm exploding, taking us both under. I wrapped my arms around Bella's small waist, pumping until there was nothing left to give.

My heart swelled with love for the woman that always made my dreams come true. I held her until she caught her breath, whispering Italian love words. We'd destroyed the champagne room. The tablecloth was shredded on the floor and there were several broken flutes.

I smirked. "You're the best, babydoll. Best sex of my life."

Carefully, I withdrew from her ass. She raised her knees and turned so that she could lay her head on my shoulder. I sent a message to one of the employees to leave two robes by the door. Five minutes later, there was a knock letting us know that they were there. Bella folded our costumes and handed me another drink.

After helping her into a robe and donning mine, we took the private exit up to my office. My VIP room was the only one that had the privilege.

"You're like Batman," Bella teased, kissing my chest.

"And you're like Catwoman. You scratched the hell out me, wife."

She purred, wiggling her ass over my groin. "You know you liked it. I'll use the fangs on you later. You do look rather tasty."

"Do whatever you want, just leave enough of me for our son to identify."

Laughing and hand in hand, we walked to the office. When we there, I was shocked to see the lights on. I figured that Felix had come up to get something, but I still took my SIG out of the clutch.

"What's wrong?" my babydoll asked, gripping my arm.

"Better safe than sorry."

At Bella's old desk, was a motherfucker that I hadn't seen in years. I groaned, putting the gun away. I had to deal with this shit sometime.

The tall, thin man stood up and smiled. "Edward, my boy. Long time no see. When you gonna come and say hi to your Uncle Paulo? Your Aunt is downstairs shaking her booty. Is this the Missus?"

My babydoll blushed and curtsied. I was just glad that the robes covered everything. Paulo didn't seem to notice that he was intruding.

Accepting my fate, I bit the bullet and introduced my wife. Even when Dante wasn't around, there was a whole team of people waiting to cockblock my ass. I guess the devil didn't escape the flames after all.

* * *

_I don't like this chapter, but I hope you do. As always I'll be under the desk with Stoli and some candy corn too. I just write what Donward says. Tell me what you think about Gina and Anna. We all know they won't end well. Stay tuned for the next installment. Review and Edward will visit you in your dreams. Don't and you get the Liza Minelli drag queen singing the hits. It's your choice. _


	3. Chapter 2: Firework

_**A/N**_: _Happy holidays, sweethearts. I'm sorry for my wonky posting schedule. I promise to update when I can. It does no good to plan because I keep getting interrupted. I hope you all are coping. Play around the blog and check out the smuttake if you missed it. This chapter is a filler and lets you see more of the cracks. The next chapter will be their Thanksgiving in Chicago. I hope to post that this weekend if I get the chance. You will see Donward slip back into his old ways a little. Feel free to yell at him on Twitter. The song has been added to the playlist. _

_Special shoutouts to **Stef, Giulia, EBM07, Jenn, Skyebella, Becky, TwiDi, Brazilian Stephanie, Momams, Ashley,** and all my sweet twarlings. I love you all hard. _

**_Rec: (In my favorites)_**

_**"You Don't Know Anything"** by TwiDi-_Bella takes her little brother to Forks and passes him off as her son. Edward is an ass, but quickly falls in love. It's sweet with a murder mystery in between. Teendaddyward is all kinds of win and JC is a cutie. Don't forget to review.

_**"The Mystery of You"**_ by _DivineInspiration_-Edward, Jasper, and Rose are siblings. Bella, Alice, and Em are new friends. Bella is running from her past. Jazz is a crazy artist, and Rose is a bar owning bitch. Great fic.

* * *

**Do you ever feel like a plastic bag,  
drifting through the wind  
wanting to start again?  
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin  
like a house of cards,  
one blow from caving in?  
Do you ever feel already buried deep?  
6 feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing  
Do you know that there's still a chance for you  
'Cause there's a spark in you  
You just gotta ignite, the light, and let it shine  
Just own the night like the 4th of July  
'Cause baby you're a firework  
Come on, show 'em what you're worth  
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"  
As you shoot across the sky-y-y  
Baby, you're a firework  
Come on, let your colors burst  
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"  
You're gonna leave 'em all in down-own-own**

Firework-Katy Perry

_**BPOV**_

It was another rainy night in Seattle. The sounds of fierce thunder and lightning were too loud, making it unable for me to sleep. Plus, Edward was away on official Mafia business in Portland, Oregon for the next two days. I missed him terribly.

The Greek relatives were managing a big American gun deal, and they needed Edward's help. His Uncle Paulo and Aunt Chara were like two balls of energy. Where Paulo was tall and thin, Chara was short and thick. However, their love was an inspiration. I hoped Edward and I would still carry that kind of flame for each other after so many years.

Dante's loud wailing put the storm to shame. I stepped out of bed and put on my slippers so I could go feed our boy. He was sleeping more often...except it still wasn't much. I was trying to get better about letting him cry, but I just couldn't stand to let my child have a moment of discomfort.

"What's the matter, sweetness?" I asked, lifting him out of the baby bed.

He began rooting so I knew he was hungry. I walked over to the rocking chair and took a seat. Then I lowered my nursing tank. It was barely down before Dante began drinking from my nipples. I held him close, staring down at his beautiful bronze-haired head as he fed greedily.

"You're so much like your daddy, Dante," I murmured, rocking us gently.

The sounds of the storm blended with Dante's suckling to make a comfortable melody. My eyelids started drooping, but I fought sleep for my baby boy. His warm little body wiggled and squirmed as he ate to his heart's delight.

After about fifteen minutes he unlatched. I laid him on my shoulder so that he could burp. I noticed how much weight he'd gained. It had become harder to pick him up and some of his older infant clothes were now snug.

"My big boy. You're growing so fast, Dante."

He squealed and slobbered on my cheek. I took that as his way of giving me a kiss. My little man was so loveable and already showed signs of kindness. I had so much love in my heart for him; it felt like I could burst.

"I thought I heard my cuddlekins," Chara declared, entering the room. She was wearing a long pink bubble gum robe that clashed with her fire engine red hair, but somehow she made it work.

Smiling, I passed him to his great Aunt. She kissed his chubby pink face while whispering Greek words in his ears. At this rate, I was going to be the only one _not_ multilingual in this family. Edward had promised to teach me some Italian, but lately he'd been too busy.

"You can put those away now, dear. I'm sure my Edward enjoys them as much as our _bambino_. It's been so long since mine were that high," Chara said wistfully.

I was dumbfounded until I looked down to see my breasts still out. Blushing, I snapped my nursing tank back into place. So far gravity had been kind to my body, but I knew that it would eventually catch up if we kept having babies.

After changing Dante's soggy diaper, we went to the kitchen to get a snack. My baby boy knew this room best, and his fat little legs went wild the moment we entered. He was now able to eat hot cereal and other mashed food, and he loved it all.

I turned on the light and took out the ingredients for turkey sandwiches. Chara was like all the other women in Edward's family, so my baby boy instantly loved her. I'd been worried she wouldn't like me, but we got along well from the start.

"What do you want on your sandwich?" I asked, cutting up some vegetables.

"I'll have lots of olives and onions. You can take the girl out of Greece, but you can't take Greece out of the girl," she chortled, bouncing a laughing Dante on her knee. It warmed my heart to hear my baby boy so happy.

A few minutes later, we were eating. Dante, always the spoiled baby, wanted a nightcap too. I poured some organic apple sauce into a small bowl for him. He kept spitting it out and half of it landed on his bib. It was great entertainment for his Aunt.

"Oh, he's just like Edward! I remember the first time Esme and Edward Sr. brought him to Greece. He looked just like Dante, and the girls that worked in our house all wanted to hold and feed him. It was chaos and poor Esme was so young. She barely let him out of her sight."

I poured us more sparkling grape juice. "Um, I know you're Canadian. How did you end up in Greece with Paulo? I asked Edward, but he said it was your story to tell."

She absentmindedly kissed Dante's forehead, staring off into space. "I grew up in Nova Scotia. My family is of Scottish decent, thus the red hair. The summer of my sixteenth birthday, my father made a great deal of money and decided to take us for a trip to Athens. Mother had always wanted to go."

"I've seen pictures of Nova Scotia. It's beautiful! I've always wanted to visit. I grew up in a small, rainy town, too, so I don't think it would bother me."

Smiling, she wiped my little man's mouth. When she was finished, he promptly stuck his thumb inside. I reached for him so Chara could finish her food. She cuddled him a little more before handing him over. Once he was in my arms again, his little head resting over my breast, I felt at ease.

"It's hard to give him up for even a minute, isn't it dear? I've been there."

I nodded. "I've never felt so protective in my life. I just love him so much. Go on, keep telling your story."

"Well, for a small town girl like me, Athens was another universe. I was a typical teen girl, thinking I was too fat, had too many freckles, too much butt," she giggled. "Plus, I'd inherited my father's ruby hair and stockier build. My sisters were blond and thin like my mother. One day we went sightseeing without our parents. We had a guide but she was too busy flirting with her boyfriend to look after us properly. As usual, my sisters got all the attention from the boys, but one young man only stared at me.

"It was cold most of the time in Nova Scotia so I wasn't used to a light summer dress. The wind blew it up around my knees, exposing my underwear. I was so embarrassed!"

I pictured the story in my mind, itching to make it into a book. I'd done so well getting Vlad and his late wife's story published; perhaps the publisher would let me do more. I made a mental note to talk to Giles about it during our next meeting. But first, I had to find a way to ask Chara.

"Of course no one was paying attention to me, except the lanky one. He walked over and gave me a beautiful pink peony. I was shocked at how good his English was compared to the others we'd heard. While I sniffed the flower he whispered five words in my ear, 'I want to fuck you.' As you can imagine, I was disgusted. No boy or man had ever used such crude words in relation to me. I slapped his cheek and threw the flower on the ground. Our guide, fearing that she would lose her job, shooed all the boys away. The last thing I saw that day was the skinny boy's sad face as he picked up the peony."

I wiped away some stray tears. "Paulo sounds a lot like Edward. Our first meeting didn't go to plan. He was rude, too, but it was because he was fighting the attraction."

She nodded and took our plates to the sink. "Men are stupid creatures. They often have no filter between the brain and the mouth. I don't think they realize how what they say can hurt us. No matter how far we come, women still have more sensitive hearts; especially when it comes to our men."

"I know. Sometimes Edward can break my heart with just once sentence. His opinion matters above all others, and when I feel that he's disappointed in me… it hurts."

We walked to the den in contemplative silence. Dante tugged on my hair and babbled baby nonsense the whole way. I truly believed he was already trying to tell me important things, but we didn't speak the same language yet. I looked forward to the day when he could articulate his wants, needs, and feelings.

When we got there, Chara took a seat on the overstuffed sectional. I spread a blanket in the middle and placed Dante on his tummy. Instantly, his little eyes closed. Chara rubbed his back while I put on some soft nursery music.

"Edward loves you Bella. His father was… a whore. I didn't like my Paulo to hang with him. Edward Sr. could charm the pants off of any woman and he did. But if a man so much as looked at Esme, he'd be plotting murder. I never understood that man. For a long time, I feared Edward got too much of his dad's personality and not enough of Esme's. When she and Di told me you two were getting married, I was over the moon. I wanted to come, but it wasn't safe, and then after… Oh, I'm so glad you and Dante made it! You're a strong woman, Bella."

I sniffled. "Those were bad times, but we made it. That's the most important thing. Thank you for the gifts."

She leaned down, kissing the back of Dante's head. He was really asleep now. "It was nothing. I'm still upset I missed DC's birth. It still wasn't safe so Paulo wouldn't let me travel. We fought over it for a whole week. I think we drove your friend Jake mad."

I giggled. "He was awfully tired when he came back. I'm sure Leah found some ways to relax him, though."

She smiled, making her light brown eyes crinkle. "He's such a nice young man. He needs babies. We need lots and lots of babies in the family. My own three sons refuse to settle down and give me any, so I disown them," she teased. "They're dying to meet you, but their services are needed in Greece at the moment. They've made Edward promise to bring everyone on his next trip."

"I'd like that," I mused, putting another small blanket over Dante's still form.

"Now back to my story. The next time I saw Paulo was outside of the Acropolis. He had cleaned up and was wearing a suit and tie. His jet black hair was slicked back so that it glowed in the sun. I remember noticing the contrast of our skin, mine milk white and his a deep golden brown that made his pearl white teeth stand out. While everyone took pictures and milled around, he stood there with a fresh pink peony staring at me. That was the first time I ever felt attraction and it frightened me. Everywhere we went, Paulo showed up holding the pink flower. Eventually, I got mad and confronted him. He handed the peony over and kissed me on the cheek. Then, he walked away, whistling to himself. Two days later, my father hired a driver to take us further out. Imagine my shock when it was Paulo! Oh, how I blushed! My mother thought I was coming down with a fever."

"Wow."

"Wow, indeed. My parents were rekindling their romance, so my sisters and I were pretty much on our own. They left me so that they could make out with some English boys who were also on vacation. Paulo took my hand and walked me around the city. He seemed to know everyone, and they were fond of him. He talked of poems he'd read, how his father died, and of his mother. By the end of our conversation, I knew that I was in love. That night, before he drove us home, he kissed me on the lips. The next day, we did the same thing except I told him all about me and my life in Nova Scotia. He absorbed it all, even though his eyes never wandered far from my breasts. That's how we got to know each other. Each day, we'd go a little father. On the last night, he took me to his small house. While he went to find us a bottle of wine, I took off my clothes. When he saw me naked, he dropped the bottle and pounced on me. I wanted to give him my virginity as a parting gift. I'd talked to my sisters and they'd given me condoms so I wouldn't become pregnant. Paulo looked deep in my eyes and whispered words I'll never forget. He said, 'I wanted to fuck you then, but now I want to make love to you.' Then, he stood up and left the room. Later, he took me back to the hotel. We didn't speak, but he kissed me passionately before driving away. I was heartbroken that he'd rejected me."

I grabbed a bunch of Kleenex and dabbed at my eyes. "I don't understand. How did you end up together?"

She held up her hand and kissed her wedding ring. "I returned to Nova Scotia, no longer the naïve girl that left. My blood boiled and I yearned for my Greek boy. A month later, a letter came. It was from Paulo. Throughout the next two years, we wrote each other. On my eighteenth birthday, Paulo showed up at our door wearing a fancy suit and holding a bouquet of pink roses. He asked to speak to my father. Two months later, we were married in a quaint chapel in Nova Scotia. I left my family and moved to Athens for good. I spent my days in college classes while Paulo hustled to become rich. That is how he met Edward Sr., the half Greek, half Italian mutt from New York. He'd come to Athens on lowly Mafia business but left a wealthy man."

I played with the hem of my tank, contemplating how to ask the next question. "Does it, um, ever bother you… um, what they do?"

"They make a living, sweetheart, and take very good care of us. I do worry for Paulo's safety, but I'm proud of him. He always knows he has a loving home to come back to, no matter what happens out there. Does it bother you?"

"It never has," I said with conviction."That is kind of the thing that scares me. I worry that it will catch up with me later. I mean, my father was a Police Chief. I was brought up to honor justice, yet here I am married to a Mafia Don. Sometimes it's overwhelming."

She nodded. "I know, but you love him. You'd lie for him, go to jail, and risk your life, wouldn't you?"

"Yes."

"That's how you know it's love. We can't choose these things. You're a wonderful woman, Bella, exactly what I wished for Edward and even my own sons. The Family takes some getting used to, but you will never be alone again. We take care of our own."

I sighed. "To be honest, it's not really the Mafia stuff that worries me right now. Edward and I are drifting apart. I know I've changed. I have Dante and the bookstore, so it's…different. He's hired these women who I hate. I want to trust him, but it's so hard because of his past. I don't want to lose him."

"Adjusting to motherhood is hard. You want to be with your baby all the time, but your husband needs you, too. You have to find your balance, Bella. Let Edward know how you feel. The minute you lose communication with your husband, the battle is lost. Make sure you let those other hussies know he's yours. Surprise him sometimes when he least expects it. It takes hard work to make a marriage last, but it's worth it in the end."

"Thank you, Chara," I said, hugging her tightly.

She laughed. "Chara means happiness in Greek. Paulo gave me that one. My given name is Beathas. There are only a few living people who know the truth. Now you're really a part of the family, Bella."

I chortled. "Beathas?"

"It's Scottish. Paulo always refused to call me by it, and eventually, I had it legally changed."

After putting Dante in his bed, we retired for the night. This time I had no problem falling asleep. I dreamed of Chara's love story, except it was Edward and me. The colors, smells, and sounds were so real in my head.

When I woke up, there was something long and thick sliding inside of me. _Edward. _I moaned softly as his hardness parted my folds. My dream must have made me moist because I was more than ready for him. While he pounded into me, I kept my eyes closed.

"Shit, babydoll! I missed you. It's always so good," he whispered, raising my knees.

Lazily, I wrapped my legs around his waist, reaching up to feel his hard shoulders. He bit down on my nipples, slamming into me until I creamed his massive cock. It felt so good. He wasn't done yet, though.

"Open your eyes and look at me, Bella," he commanded.

I did as he said. It was still raining and foggy, so the room was mostly dark, but Edward's electric green eyes and copper hair stood out. Savagely, he took my mouth, swirling his tongue with mine. I tasted myself on his lips, the milk and juices. He must have eaten me out while I was dreaming.

"Harder," I panted, pulling his hair.

He placed my legs on his shoulder and continued to pound me deep into the bed. His long fingers caressed my clit with every stroke. Before long I was screaming my pleasure into his mouth as he came inside of me.

"_Ti amo_, babydoll," he whispered, stroking my sweaty head.

Sweaty and spent, we laid together for several long minutes. He didn't pull out, and pretty soon, I felt him swell inside me again. This time he took me slow and lovingly. As the storm grew, so did our passion. With our mouths fused together, we spilled into each other. The cracked pieces of my heart mended. Edward had come home to me, not those other bimbos. Rolling us, he fell asleep with me on top of his chest.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

The next time I woke up, I was alone. I would have thought the lovemaking was a dream had I not seen Edward's note. He had business to attend to at the club and would be there most of the day. I stood up and angrily stomped to the shower.

As I ran the water, I let my mind wander. What was I now, just a nice bed mate? He'd already missed two counseling sessions with Dr. Athenadora. It wasn't going to help us if I was the only one attending.

After letting the hot water wash away my stress and soreness, I picked out a pair of dark skinny jeans and a purple tunic to wear. Instead of going with my usual flats, I put on a pair of black 'fuck me' boots. I also took time to curl my hair, leaving it loose and wild. Then, I added a bit of smoky eye and nude lip color. The woman in the mirror looked dangerous, sexy, and competent.

Since I had a lot to do at the bookstore, Chara and Esme were going to watch Dante for the day. I ate breakfast and fed him before leaving out with Alice. She was arranging a fashion show for her boutique and wanted me and Rose to model.

"You look hot, Bella," she said, kissing my cheek.

I blushed, looking at her short mini dress and black heels. "Not as hot as you. Did my brother see this getup?"

She wiggled her tiny nose in distaste. "No, silly. He was gone by the time I woke up. You know how he is about my clothes. I'm sure Edward wouldn't exactly approve of your outfit either. Your rack looks great, though. Are you wearing the La Perla pushup bra I gave you?"

"I sure am. I wanted to look good today. I was, um, thinking of surprising Edward with lunch."

Giggling, she got into the car. "He'll love it. I may have to surprise Jazzy, too."

Riding with Alice was always an experience. Her yellow Lamborghini stood out like a sore thumb once we hit the college area. We kept our windows cracked and guys ogled. Alice ignored them and cranked up her pop music.

By the time we got to my bookstore, I was fully energized. A few college guys invited us to a frat party. We both promised that we'd be there, giggling when they noticed our wedding rings. Inside, almost every couch and table were taken. The business was doing well.

I stopped to talk to Maggie and Bree, who were working on the floor, before leading Alice to my office. Esme had decorated the whole thing, and since Dante came to work with me most days, it was more like a small apartment than an office, but I did have a huge desk. Rose was already inside, sipping coffee and waiting for us.

"I thought you two hot bitches were going to stand me up," she said, kissing our cheeks.

Alice rolled her eyes and reached for her Espresso. Rose and I shared a look. Alice was naturally hyper, but with caffeine… let's just say I didn't envy my brother. He wouldn't be getting any rest anytime soon.

"So," Alice said, pulling out her art portfolio, "I came up with some good sketches. I want my line to be stylish, but also accessible to the modern working woman or mother. Rose, I want you in golds, pinks, and reds. The purples and deep blues are more suited for Bella's coloring."

I looked at the pictures she handed me. The outfits were gorgeous. I didn't know how Edward would feel about some of them, though. Some showed a lot of breast, and others a lot of leg. The last picture was a dark blue Teddy with a matching robe.

"I don't know, Alice. Edward is going to flip."

She nodded. "Let me handle my brother. My line is sexy but tasteful. Are you two in?"

"Hell yeah! Em will love this," Rose said, holding up a sketch of a gorgeous red opera dress.

"I'm in, too. I've never modeled. It'll be fun."

Later, Bree and Maggie brought us breakfast croissants. Alice had outfits for them, too. Bree blushed a lot, but I saw an excitement in her eyes that was far too rare. She agreed to do it as long as Riley wouldn't be offended. Maggie, who had modeled before, was more than happy to have a new campaign. I knew that she was still hurting because of Demetri's betrayal and I wanted to kick his ass. He didn't deserve her.

Eventually, Rose and Alice had to leave. I said goodbye to my sisters, making them promise to come over for dinner as soon as possible. We were all so busy with our businesses, husbands, and kids. Sometimes it was hard to get some real girl time.

At one, I went to my private garage to get my SUV. Then, I drove to Garrett's restaurant to pick up some lunch. He was at the front talking to a server and feeding baby Sasha. I kissed her head, taking her for a minute. He gladly let me. She was a little angel with big blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair.

"Hi, baby girl," I said, rubbing her cheeks.

Her eyes flashed with recognition. Kate and I had already had several play dates between Sasha and Dante. They got along well. She was a few months older, and Dante was eager to catch up. Now that she was crawling, he wanted to do the same. It was very cute to watch.

"Thank you, Bella," Garrett said, placing her in a carrier. "Ernie is almost done with your phone in order. How have you been?"

"Tired," I said, yawning.

"I know what you mean. Babies are hard work, but they're lovely little things."

Garrett had a poetic way with words. It was easy to see why Kate had been so attracted. Hers was the next story I was yearning to hear. She was so smart and beautiful. I still didn't quite understand how she'd ended up being a madame for HADES.

"Kate said the practice is keeping her busy. I can't wait to make an appointment," I said, making conversation.

He nodded. "I'm just glad she's out of the club. Edward is my friend, but Kate is my wife. I couldn't have lived knowing she was with those other men. We're starting fresh."

"Does it bother you sometimes? Edward wasn't a paid professional, but I'd wager he has more experience than Kate. Um, I worry."

"I can't let it get to me. When we married, I told her that I forgave her past. That means I can't throw it in her face every time I get angry. It's very hard, Bella, but I love her enough to try."

A few minutes later, Ernie brought out the bags of food. I kissed Garrett and Sasha goodbye before leading Ernie to my car. I knew Jane was somewhere watching me, but I was happy that she gave me space throughout the day.

The drive to HADES went well. The rain stopped so the sun could finally shine a little. I felt giddy at the prospect of seeing my husband. I had on silk black underwear that I hoped he would be adding to his collection.

Felix was in the garage talking to some guy when I pulled up. He opened my door and insisted on carrying my bags to the elevator. He looked really happy. I knew he and Chelsea were getting along well.

After setting up, he left me in the office. Sometimes, I missed working with Edward, but it wasn't like we ever get a lot of work done anyway. As I made my husband a plate, I thought of all the good times we'd had here, like when he gave me that first orgasm on his office couch.

Surprisingly, Edward's office door was not only closed, but also locked. "It's me. Open up, honey. I brought lunch."

Five minutes later, the door opened. I almost dropped the plate when I saw Gina standing on the other side. She was wearing a short red bustier dress with a tiny black jacket. Today, she had a red feather in her hair and blue stilettos.

"Hello, Bella. Edward and I were just…working. I love those pictures the photographer sent over of you and Dante. Is he with you?"

It took work not to throw the food in her smug face. "He's with his grandmother."

_Not that you could touch him anyway, whore!_ I thought bitterly.

"I'm not paying you to talk to my wife. Get the fuck out, Gina," Edward yelled, walking over and taking the plate from me.

Gina pouted before walking away. "See you later tonight, Ed."

_Ed? That bitch is after my husband. How can he be so blind!_

He tried to kiss me, but I pulled away because he smelled like her. It turned my stomach.

"What the fuck, Bella? I know that look. We were just working on shit. I didn't even know the door was locked. Don't pull this bullshit right now. And what are you wearing? Go to the lair and change. That top is almost see-thru and those pants… Fuck! Just change."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "I didn't come here for a lecture. I came to bring you lunch. I think any wife would be suspicious about her husband being in a _locked_ office with a woman like Gina."

He smirked. "You're fucking jealous. I don't have time for this insecurity shit. I just came home from a long business trip. You could be nicer. What happened to trust?"

Instead of getting mad or hitting him, I stood up and walked to the door. "Dante misses you. Try to spend some time with him when you get home. I know we aren't as important as your business and _employees_, but surely you can give us a little attention."

He ran over, squeezing my arm until it hurt. "Why are you being a fucking nag? I go places and see things you can't imagine. I don't see you complaining about the time I spend working when you're picking out expensive shit for the dream house. Someone has to pay for all that shit."

This time I couldn't resist; I slapped him across the cheek. "Don't you dare! That whole thing was your idea! I work too, asshole. My bookstore is doing well. I hired all the people, and my writing is taking off. You can quit and be a stay at home dad for all I care. _I_ can support us."

He released me. "Just go, Bella. I didn't come home to argue with you. Kiss Dante for me. I'm spending the night here, and then I have business in San Francisco. I'll be gone all weekend. Stop disobeying me and start dressing like my wife instead of a whore!"

I laughed. "You sure fuck me like a whore, and then run off when I'm asleep. How much am I worth, Edward?"

After grabbing my purse, I left the building. Strangely, I didn't feel like crying. Our marriage was crumbling, but I was becoming stronger as a woman. If Edward thought he owned me, he had another thing coming.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

Later that afternoon, I met with Giles at the bookstore. Like Edward, he was an extremely good looking man. More than a few women's eyes followed as he passed. Thankfully, he was cordial and stayed strictly professional.

"It's none of my business, love, but you look sad. Is something the matter?" he asked, before sipping his Earl Grey.

I shrugged. "I'm just adjusting to married life and motherhood. I'll be fine."

"Well, if you ever need to talk, I'm here. I'm not only your publisher, I'm your friend."

It was nice being with Giles and going over writing ideas. Unlike Edward, he was actually interested in what I had to say. My book sales were increasing, so he was thinking of having me do a promotional tour around the US. I told him I'd have to think about it, because I could only do it if Dante was with me.

Later, I was getting ready to go home for the day when Edward walked into my office. He had a bunch of sunflowers and chocolates in his hands. Dropping them, he stalked over to where I was standing. An instant later, his lips were on mine.

As he pushed me against the wall and unbuttoned my pants, I thought about how broken we'd become these last few months. Eventually, we'd have to use something besides sex to solve our problems or go down in flames.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I was an idiot," he whispered, plunging into me.

Part of me couldn't help but feel he was using my body, but picturing Gina or one of the other bimbos. Sadly, I was willing to take what I could get. At least in that moment I believed Edward loved me and nothing could tear us apart.

* * *

_You want to kill me, I know. Please remember it's the holidays. I have to go here so we can see how they ended up to the Prologue. Feel free to tweet or PM me your thoughts. Most of all click the button and review. I will try to update again this week. In the meantime, I'll be under the desk with the Stoli. *Huggles*_


	4. Chapter 3: Cold Wind Blows Part 1

**_A/N: _**_I'm alive and look an update. No excuses, just been busy and procrastinating. The good news is, I've found my wedding dress. I'm really excited. I know you all have missed Donward. This chapter goes into some dark places. It's necessary to tell the story. I know people want fluff and sex all the time, but sometimes there has to be angst. Bear with us. This is the first part of Dante's first Thanksgiving. If I get a lot of good feedback, the second part will be posted quickly. I hope you all are well and surviving this cold winter. Always feel free to message or email me if you have questions. Please play on the **Blog (link on Profile page)**. The song has been added as well as new pictures. Let me know if you have a problem there. Follow Donward and Babydoll if you want to talk to them directly.  
_

_Shoutouts to **skyebella98, Stef, Giulia, Ashley, Becky, Lexa, Tally, Bammers, Char**, and all my twitter vixens. I love you all hard.\_

_Recs (all in my favorites)  
_

"The Mystery of You" _by **DivineInspiration-**_Edward is a mystery writer who befriends a real life mysterious Bella. One of my fave E&B

"The Late, Late Show with Edward Cullen" by **_Chartwilightmom_**-Edward hosts a late night show on TV. Bella is an actress. Lemons, fluff, and sparks. I love it!

* * *

"**Cause some things just don't change  
It's better when they stay the same  
Although the whole world knows your name  
So on the biggest days they came to see you spit your game  
Ooooohhhhhhh  
It shouldn't be difficult to explain  
Just why you came back again, you hate the fame  
Love the game, cold as ice you remain  
Fuck em' all, tell 'em all eat shit, here we go again  
So, god damn... is it that time again already  
Haha, you don't look too happy to see me  
Fuck man, don't everybody welcome me back at once  
All right, fuck ya'll then.**

**You can get the dick, just call me the ballsac, I'm nuts  
Michael Vick in this bitch, dog, fall back you mutts  
Fuck your worms, you never seen such a sick puppy…"**

Cold Wind Blows-Eminem

_**EPOV**_

The last few days were rough. I knew I was slowly slipping back into my old shit, and my marriage and home life were suffering. If I stayed on this path, it would only be a matter of time before Bella left my sorry ass.

"Want a hit?" Gina asked, passing me a line of powder.

I knocked it out of her hand. "I told you no more of this shit, Gina! This is my fucking office. You listen or your ass is toast. I can find another fucking campaign manager."

She sniffled and began fixing her makeup. "Then why don't you? Why are you fighting this, Edward? I've known you wanted to fuck me since that first day. I can be discreet. You're not the first married man that has wanted to fuck me. Why do you think I've been hired on so many campaigns? Anyone can win, but only I can help you ease your stress."

I jumped up from the desk and grabbed her by the neck. "Do you know who the fuck you're talking to, bitch? Bella is my whole life. I would never fuck you when I could have her. Do your fucking job and get this affair shit out of your head."

Laughing, she placed her hand over my crotch. "That bulge tells me you're a liar, Edward. I have a lunch meeting, so I'll be gone the rest of the day."

Smirking, I shoved her aside. "That bulge is always for my babydoll. She called a few minutes ago. Don't touch me again, or trust me, you won't like the consequences."

"You don't fool me, Mr. Cullen. Keep telling yourself it's all for your precious little babydoll. She's too busy with the baby and her business. Call me if you feel…frisky. Bye, Eddie."

After she left, I threw my glass sniffer against the door. I knew I should have fired Gina a long time ago, but it wasn't exactly easy finding a campaign manager who fit into my lifestyle. The Volturi would have been willing to help if I asked, but I wanted to prove to myself that I could work with a woman without fucking her.

A few minutes later, Demetri and Felix walked into the office carrying boxes of Montecristo Turpedo. I immediately took one from the top and had them place the rest in my desk. Yeah, I'd started smoking again.

Felix frowned, taking the cigar from my hand. "It's not good for you, Boss. Dante needs a daddy with healthy lungs. Do you want to leave Bella a widow? You're only supposed to keep them to give away to visitors."

Scowling, I put the unlit cigar into the desk. "Thanks, mom. I'll have to call Esme and tell her you're picking up the fucking slack."

"Motherfucker, he's right. How are you going to bone Bella if your lungs are full of smoke? I'd hate to see a fine ass MILF like her go without some good lovin'."

I growled. "Don't you talk about my wife like that, asswipe! Get the fuck out and take Felix with you. I think some of you cocksuckers have forgotten the real Edward Cullen. You work for me, _Capisce_?"

D laughed, pouring himself a glass of aged Scotch. "Says the man that has a baby car seat in the back of his Phantom. You've changed, Eddie. There's nothing wrong with it at all. I like you better this way."

Felix nodded. "Bella and Dante have been good for you. Your aura is brighter."

"Get the fuck out, and stop giving me advice. I'll call you fuckers if I need you," I mumbled, watching them leave.

They were right about my family changing me, but there were still dark places inside, places that scared the fuck out of me. Some nights, Bella had nightmares about James. I was too busy trying to comfort her to deal with my own demons. I'd killed a lot of fucking men to get her back and almost died in the process. At times, that shit messed with my mind.

Then there were problems with the bitches. Jess had her hands full with the new girls, so she'd asked me to hire an experienced stripper and Madame to help her. No one would ever fill Chanel's place, though. She's been the best I ever hired, but I understood her need and want to be Kate-the mother and dentist. I didn't begrudge her happiness.

Lately, the biggest problem was balance. It was getting increasingly harder for me to stay at home and be a father. After the incident in Portland, I just felt guilty whenever I looked at my son. Plus Bella had been so goddamn loving and sweet. I was basically just fucking her and leaving, but she let me. A part of me really got off on hurting her, but later I'd feel sick to my fucking stomach.

My Iphone vibrated, letting me know I had a call. When I looked on the screen, there was a picture of my babydoll wearing a pink gown and holding our son. My heart beat sped up. I hadn't gone home last night or left her a message.

"Hello," I squeaked, bracing myself for the fight.

"Edward, why haven't you been answering my calls? If it wasn't for Felix, I wouldn't even know you were still alive. You don't have to come home for me, but our son would like to see you once in a while."

Groaning, I pinched the bridge of my nose and paced the room. "I was busy. I left you a fucking text. What more do you want from me? I'm handling shit in the suburbs. I'll be home tonight."

She sighed. "Have you… have you been with someone? Is that why you're acting like this?" The last word ended on a sniffle.

The whole conversation was making me angrier. "So, if I'm not at home, you think I'm out fucking some other bitch? After all this time it's nice to know you still don't trust me, Bella. I'll be home to see my son. Don't bother to call again."

I was braced for the fireworks. Hell, I craved that shit, but all she said was a curt 'goodbye' before hanging up. The demon inside of me was dying to get free. I needed some type of release. There was no way I was about to fuck another bitch, so I did three lines of coke.

After that, I went to the bathroom and cleaned up. My eyes were overly bright and my skin was fucking pale. I looked like shit.

The last time I'd done a line was the day Bella surprised me with lunch. I was fucking edgy and Gina easily talked me into it. Then when I'd opened the door and saw my angel, I got angry. She didn't belong in Hell with the Devil.

I'd yelled to make her leave, and later fucked her like some kind of animal in her office. That had been the first time Bella ever looked afraid of me. Later that night, I saw her wince in pain as she took a shower. It was the first time I slept in another bedroom. She was too relieved to question my ass.

An hour later, I jogged down to the basement to check out a shipment. Jasper was setting up shit with Demetri. I fistbumped him, knowing I looked fucking shady as shit. The high was settling so I slipped a pair of Gucci shades over my eyes.

"I'm not trying to be in your business, bro, but you need to call my sister. She's worried about you. I told her we're working. You owe me for covering your ass. Don't make me regret it," Jaz threatened, weighing a kilo of blow.

Demetri laughed and shuffled ot my side. "What's up with you, motherfucker? If I had a fine ass woman like Bella waiting for me, I'd be home every night."

Both Jaz and I growled. Demetri held up his hands, backing away. I noticed he had a long line of scratches on his neck, and I knew just where he'd gotten them from. My fucking employees were worse than damn children.

"Fuck her with a rubber, D. There's no telling where that pussy has been. Don't bring bedroom shit to work. I need you for this shit, and I need Gina for the campaign. If something goes wrong, one of you has to skate."

When I looked over, Jaz was trying hard not to laugh.

"What the fuck, man?"

"You warning D about Gina. Don't you think that's kind of a double standard? Why is it okay for a guy to stick his dick inside anything?"

I snorted. "It's not the same and you know it."

He shrugged. "To me, it is. Women with sexual pasts shouldn't be treated worse than men with the same pasts. How would you like it if Bella…."

"Don't even go there, Jaz. Bella is mine! I'm the only one. Ever," I snapped, rolling my shoulders.

He looked at me oddly for a minute, and then went back to his weighing. "Could you trust my sister if she had an extensive sexual history? Imagine how you'd feel. It fucking hurts, right? Well, that's how she feels when you don't call or go home. Stop fucking up, Edward. I'm warning you as an uncle, your brother in law, and your friend. I'll help Bella leave your ass if you mistreat her. She and my nephew deserve better."

I crossed the room, getting up into his face. "Remember who you work for, motherfucker. I'll let that shit slide but come at me again, and it won't be so pretty."

He stood up to his full height. "This is just a job. Bella is my family, my life. I promised Charlie I'd always take care of her. If that means I gotta shed blood, then so be it, but I'm not letting you wear her into the ground, asshole."

We were really squaring off when Felix and D stepped in the middle, dragging Jaz away from me.

Felix held me steady as D led Jaz to a corner. "Edward, Jasper is your brother. Save that shit for our enemies. You need to calm down. Go home. We got everything under control, boss."

I was going to argue but the sound of heavy footsteps distracted me. Caius and Paulo entered the basement with another man I didn't recognize. Like an eagle, Cai watched me until I bowed my head and stepped away from Felix.

"We'll make sure he gets home. Keep it steady down here," my godfather commanded, leading me upstairs.

When we got to my office, he went to the bar and poured three glasses of aged Scotch. I took a seat at my desk, Paulo sat across, and Caius continued to stand. I knew my ass was about to be chewed out. Thankfully, some of the high was still in my system.

Paulo eyed me hard as he tilted his head back and swallowed. "I'm not happy with you, Edward. Your Aunt Chara was beside herself. You have wife and son now. They come first. Why haven't you been home?"

Nervously, I reached for my glass. "I've been busy. It's just easier to sleep here or at a hotel sometimes. Bella and I…"

Cai cut me off. "Athena says you haven't been to a therapy session in over a month. You're fucking up, Edward. Marcus and I are worried. Family is your first priority. We can take you out of the Senate race if it's too much. There are others who might…"

I slammed my fist on the desk. "I'm not that scared ass seventeen-year-old boy anymore! I'm a grown man, a Don. I can come and go as I fucking please."

The next few seconds were a blur, but ended with me being pinned against a wall while Caius held me.

"Don't you ever raise your voice to me! _Tu sei stupido! _I gave you an order. All you do is obey, _Capisce_?"

I nodded because I was really fucking afraid. Marcus and Caius were my Godfathers, but they wouldn't hesitate to beat my ass or put a bullet in it if I disrespected them. Besides, he was right-I was being stupid.

After he put me back on my feet, we walked out to the Phantom. My men were all around the club doing shit. To the average onlooker, it seemed like we were redecorating. In reality, there was a shitload of drugs, weapons, and illegal passports being moved.

I nodded at a group of five men, recognizing them as Seattle PD. Fucking cops were our biggest supporters. There were always a few guys looking to send their kid to college or take the wife on a nice vacation. Regular cop salaries didn't cover that shit; therefore, the Volturi was never short on manpower.

Caius took the backseat so Paulo rode shotgun. I let him control the music, and we ended up listening to some Zorba the Greek shit. I zoned out, thinking of Bella and how angry she was going to be with my ass.

When we reached a stoplight, I let down my window a little. A Porsche pulled up next to us. The two women in the car looked at me and giggled. I wasn't interested, so I held up my ring finger. It was then that I noticed the Tungsten symbol of me and Bella's forever love was missing.

"Fuck me," I groaned, leaning against the steering wheel.

"What?" Both Cai and Paulo asked at the same time.

I stepped on the gas, leaving the bitches in the dust. "I lost my wedding ring. I never take it off. Bella is going to kill me."

Paulo looked worried. "Did you drop it while we were in Portland? You were out of it, Edward. You know what happened wasn't your fault, right?"

I closed my eyes, not wanting to think of that shit. Portland had been a disaster. Not only did I break one of the Volturi's biggest rules, I fucking cursed myself. The look on that woman's face… How the fuck could I look at Bella and my son after that shit?

"It wasn't your fault. The mother is angry. When she wants the money, it will be there. Her son was playing a big man's game," Cai said, looking at me through the mirror.

I shook my head, barely managing to hold in the bile that threatened to come up. Stupidly, I tried to remember when I'd eaten last, but I came up with a blank. The drugs and alcohol were all the nutrients my body had left.

Paulo nodded. "You were defending your Family, Edward. No one knew the boy was sixteen. That is why children must be kept out of our affairs."

Each time I closed my eyes, I saw that kid lying in a pool of his own blood. He was big, but close up, his face was innocent. The shorn blonde hair and big diamond earring were about the only identifiers left. My fucking SIG had taken the side of his head off.

He didn't even live long enough to grow a decent beard. Then when Marcus sent funds to the mother, she had refused the money. I watched from an armored car as she slammed the door in Jenk's face. All I could think about was if it was someone trying to give Bella money if something happened to Dante.

"I broke the rule. I should have aimed for his fucking knee or something. He's another one...another curse on my black fucking soul. I deserve to rot for my sins."

No one said anything as we pulled into the Penthouse garage. I felt like shit, but at least I looked decent in my slate grey slacks and white button down rolled up at the elbows. I took my sunglasses off and hoped my eyes looked fucking normal.

The smell of delicious food baking assaulted my nose as I entered the apartment. Chara ran over and tucked herself into Paulo's side. He kissed her forehead like always. They'd been madly in love for as long as I could remember.

"You," Chara barked, getting up in my face, "have some nerve…"

Paulo held up his hand. "Take it easy, sunshine. We've already set him straight."

She kissed me on both cheeks, shaking her head sadly. "Bella and DC are in the bedroom. She's feeding him. I made her eat, but she didn't eat much. You're putting her under too much stress. Talk to your wife."

I kissed her cheek and walked to the room. Bree was on the couch watching TV. She waved shyly as I passed. I managed a small smile to let her know I was all right. Then she went back to her program.

"Bella?" I asked, entering the bedroom.

She was sitting up with her back resting on the headboard. The room was dim, but I could clearly see our son suckling her breast. Tonight, he was wearing a green onesie with a little turtle on the front. I bent down and kissed him before taking a seat next to my babydoll.

For a long time, neither of us said anything. DC stopped eating, so I eagerly took him from his mother. It had been almost a week since I'd been home before he went to bed. I'd missed the warmth and softness of his little body.

As he tucked his head into my shoulder and he started to doze, I flipped on the plasma TV. Without a word to me, my babydoll stomped to the bathroom and shut the door. I didn't follow her because there was nothing I could fucking do or say. Our marriage wasn't what it used to be, and I knew I was to blame.

A few minutes later, I walked Dante to his nursery. There was a bunch of new shit and toys piled up everywhere. People in the family loved spoiling him, even though he really only played with the soft blocks.

I kissed his cheeks and squeezed him tight before laying him down on his stomach. Immediately, his little thumb went into his mouth. He looked so fucking peaceful. I spent several minutes just touching him and promising that I'd always keep him safe. The, I made sure he was warm, put on the lullaby, and returned to our bedroom.

My babydoll was at the window, looking out over the city. Her flawless pale skin glowed in the skylight. Of course, my fucking cock chose that moment to become painfully hard. As I adjusted myself, I walked over to join Bella.

"Are you going to leave?" she asked, her voice husky with unshed tears.

I pulled her into my arms. "Never, babydoll! I know I've been…difficult. I'm sorry. It's just a stressful time. I promise I'll make it up to you while we're in Chicago. I want us to enjoy Dante's first Thanksgiving."

She sobbed, coating my shirt in tears. "Why won't you let me inside? I'm your wife, Edward. If something is…"

"No," I growled, releasing her. "It's none of your fucking business!"

She slapped me hard across the face, leaving a trail of heat on my jaw. "I give you kindness and you throw it back in my face! You should be able to tell me anything. What if I was keeping a secret from you?"

A second later, I grabbed her arm and dragged her to the bed. "What secret are you keeping? Are you fucking that asshole publisher? Everyone makes me out to be the bad guy, but how the fuck do I know what _you're_ doing while I'm gone."

I knew it was fucking wrong, but my body craved the fight. Lately, this was all that we did. Always, it ended with us spent and in bed. For me, angry fucking was easier than talking. If I opened up, it wouldn't take long for Bella to wear me down. I didn't want that.

She snorted. "I'm always the cheater in your little fantasies, Edward. Well the reality must be really boring. All I've been doing is taking care of our son and working. When I'm not doing those things, I'm sleeping. Alone! You don't even call me to say 'Goodnight, wife.' You're pathetic!"

"I'm pathetic," I laughed, pushing her gown up. "I bet you're soaking. Don't worry; big daddy is here to fuck your pussy raw. It's all you want me for anyway, right?"

She tried to push me away, but I held her down. I'd never fucked my babydoll while I was high, but as they said, there was a first time for everything.

"Get off of me," she screeched, pushing at my shoulders.

I ripped her tank, taking one of her needy nipples into my mouth and sucking hard. "No. I like you like this," I moaned, biting down on her breast.

"That hurts. Get off me, Edward or you'll be sorry," she threatened, bucking against me.

My cock was at full attention. Ignoring the pleas, I unzipped my pants and lined up at Bella's entrance. Shit was blurry and rainbow colored. My body was covered in sweat as my heart beat a million times a minute. I needed to bust a fucking nut to take the edge off of all the shit that was happening.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I registered Bella's crying. "Please," she begged, "You have to stop, Edward. I have my period. I don't want this. Please."

Disgusted, I stood up and ran to the bathroom. What the fuck was wrong with me? Had I really just almost raped my wife? The thought made my stomach roil. Down on my knees, I prayed to the porcelain god until I was empty.

Later, Bella pounded on the door. "Are you all right in there? Everyone went home, but I can call someone, or you can let me in. I'm worried about you."

Why did she have to be so fucking sweet? I didn't fucking deserve it after what I'd done. Sluggishly, I opened the door. Then I turned on the shower, keeping my back to Bella the whole time. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her put a few towels on the heating rack.

Pretty soon, the room was filled with steam. I swayed on my legs. Bella caught me, putting one of my arms around her shoulder. I lowered my head in shame. She fucking knew, which was why she was being so gentle.

"How?"

She helped me sit down and slid off my pants. "Your eyes aren't right. Will you tell me what you took, Edward? I want to help you, but you have to let me in, honey."

I let the tears fall, burrowing into the crease of her neck to hide my face. "Cocaine. It was cocaine. That day you brought me lunch… Gina and I were doing lines. I didn't know she'd locked the door. I'm sorry, babydoll. I'm so sorry."

Like an angel, she helped me bathe and dried me off when it was finished. The pain and anguish in her eyes were almost my undoing. The demon wanted to lash out at her, but I held it inside. Bella didn't deserve to be treated like shit after all she put up with from me.

When we got back to the bedroom, she helped me put on a pair of boxer shorts. I kissed her silk covered navel, whispering apologies the whole time. She'd gotten drenched helping me wash myself, so she had to change into something else. My heart warmed when she chose one of my old college tees. Crawling into bed, she looked incredibly young and innocent.

"Come here," I coaxed, holding out my arm. She snuggled into my chest as I pulled the comforter over us.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, babydoll. Are you feeling okay? Do you need some medicine?"

She shook her head. "It's the last day so the cramps have worn off. I'm fine. I'm more worried about you, Edward. Why did you do it? You could have overdosed. Dante and I would have been all alone."

The last part of my heart iced over. "That's not necessarily a bad thing, angel. Look at me. You and DC deserve much better. I'm too fucking ruined."

She sat up, kissing me fiercely on the lips. "Don't you ever say that! We need you, Edward. You're going through a rough time right now, but I'll help you. I said for better or for worse. This is part of the worse. I love you. Dante loves you. We need you! Don't ever say that again. You can't just say things like that to me," she babbled, holding me tightly.

"Shhh," I soothed, kissing her forehead. "I was talking stupid. I'm not going anywhere, babydoll. Will you tell my Godfathers?"

Sniffling, she rubbed my stubbled jaw. "No, this is between us. Let me help you. I don't want you to get in trouble. Tell me what you need, Edward."

I maneuvered her back to my chest. "At this moment, I just need you. Sleep, my Bella. In our dreams we will be fucking perfect again. When you wake up, I'll be better."

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

We spent the next day packing for our trip. November in Chicago was much colder than what we were used to. Bella kept talking to me and making sure I was okay. Together we bathed our son and picked out outfits for him to wear.

By the time night rolled around, we were bone tired. Jaz called to let me know everything was fine at the club. He sounded worried, so I wasn't surprised when Ali came upstairs to talk to me. I was short with my answers, not giving her much, but she seemed appeased.

The next morning we went to the airport to board the jet. I hadn't taken a drink or done any drugs. Being around my wife and son healed me somewhat, but the dark places were still inside of me. It took a lot of strength not to hurt my angel. It got to the point that I was scared to lose focus around her.

When we got to the hanger, Bree and Riley were being led out of a car with Russian flags. Riley greeted us and took Bree's bag. She kissed him before running over and taking Dante. His squeals of joy were the most beautiful thing I'd heard all month.

After a lot of arguing, I managed to shoo Bella way. She'd insisted on helping with shit, but I just wanted her on the plane and safe with Dante. Jane practically carried the two of them up the stairs, giving me a wink in the process. She looked stronger.

A few minutes later, Carlisle and my mom arrived. Paulo and Char weren't far behind. The whole fucking family was going on this trip. Marcus had called the day before to check up on me. Aunt Di was fucking happy as shit. She loved a full house.

I was lifting one of DC's diaper bags when I smelled Chanel No. 5. I looked over to see my mom staring worriedly at me. I paused, not wanting to be rude. She looked like she wanted to talk. I'd been ignoring her right along with Bella. In fact, I'd ignored my whole family.

She touched my cheek. "Edward, what's wrong, sweetheart? I feel like you're drifting away from us again. Talk to me."

I shrugged and closed the car door. "I'm fine, mom. I've been going through some personal shit. It's Mafia business. Nothing you need to worry about. Why don't you…"

Her big hazel eyes flashed. "Don't give me that lame excuse! Your father used to say the same thing. Well,

Mafia business destroyed our family. I can't say I don't wish you'd taken another path, but I've always supported your decisions."

Groaning, I handed the bags over to one of my men. "Look, mom, I'm fucking tired and we have a long flight ahead. I'm sorry I didn't call. Bella and I are working it out."

She crossed her arm over her chest and looked away. "No you're not, Edward. Bella is coddling you! Every woman in your life has done it. I'm the worst offender! You're starting to act like your father. You get the sweet young wife and the baby, and then throw it away and go booze, get high, and have sex with bimbos! That was his motto."

Angry, I stood up to my full height. "I'm not like him! I wouldn't do that to Bella. I'm just going through a rough patch right now. She understands."

Mom regarded me sadly. "Does she, or is she just desperate to hang onto the illusion? You owe Bella and Dante more than this, Edward."

As mom walked back to Carlisle, I looked down at my bare ring finger. Luckily, Bella hadn't noticed it, or if she did, she didn't say anything. The missing Tungsten was just one more thing that was wrong with our broken marriage. When she put it on my finger, I said forever, but not two years out and we were crumbling.

Wincing, I pulled out my switchblade and made a shallow cut into my stomach. Compared to the emotional pain, this was easy. Sighing, I wiped the blood away with a silk handkerchief and jogged up the steps.

There was a saying about how you could never go home again. Well, I was fucking returning to the place of my childhood and my father's death. I just hoped that I found something there that could help heal me, or I was going to have to break my promise to Bella.

_Affanculo! __Fuck it all!_

* * *

_Is everyone mad at me now? Donward is going through some shit. I know you all may be disappointed in Bella, but she's just trying to hold on to what she has. Edward loves them but those dark places had to come out sooner or later. There will be some cuteness, lemons, Dante eating stuffing, Chicago highlights, angry sex, violence, and more in the next chapters. Review to make me update sooner. I'll be under the desk with the Stoli. Click the green button and get Dante kisses, don't and you get naked Gina. It's your choice, ladies. *Huggles*  
_


	5. Chapter 4: Cold Wind Blows Part 2

**_A/N: _**_Hello, readers! I has been less than a month since my last update. I think I'm doing good, but I know some of you think it's a long wait. I'm sorry that I can't go faster. I have a RL, wedding planning, work, and I write more than one fic. I will finish them all. Stick with me. This is Thanksgiving in Chicago. The song and pictures are on my** BLOG (LINK ON PROFILE)**. There is also a new **smuttake **there , if you missed it. Also check out my** Valentine's day one-shot** on FFN when you get a chance. Donward and Babydoll have Twitter and Formspring if you ever want to chat with them. They're quite the characters._

_**WARNING: **This chapter is a tough read. Edward and Bella's marriage is headed for a fall. Edward in particular is a complicated man. He has a lot of demons. You can't kill that many people and be okay with yourself. Bella loves him to the point of insanity, and yes she's a doormat. She realizes that. If you can't read the dissolving or the difficult parts, I won't hold it against you for leaving this fic. There's going to be disappointment. This has never been a fluff fic, and it never will be. I just had to put this because this chapter has been on my blog for hours and I've gotten some rough reviews.  
_

_Shout outs to **Skye282, SkyeBella, Stef, Giulia, Ash, Lori, Becky, Brazil Stephanie, Lynn, DayJolie**, and all my other twarlings who keep me going. _

_**Recs: (all in my favorites)  
**_

_**"The Hangover" **by _Chartwilightmom_-female version like the movie but with our favorite characters. Very funny and sexy.  
_

_**"Bella Outnumbered"** by_ Chelle of DirtyCheekyMonkey_s-Bella is a child therapist who hates kids. Edward is a divorced father with kids. Hilarity ensues._

_**"The Mystery of You"** by_ DivineInspiration_-Great writing and some of the best characters I've read on fanfic. You have to read it._

_"**A Start to Forever"** by _LittleMissInnocence- _E&B are a young couple with two kids trying to make it all work while he goes to Med school. Very sweet & real._

* * *

"**Cause some things just don't change  
It's better when they stay the same  
Although the whole world knows your name  
So on the biggest days they came to see you spit your game  
Ooooohhhhhhh  
It shouldn't be difficult to explain  
Just why you came back again, you hate the fame  
Love the game, cold as ice you remain  
Fuck em' all, tell 'em all eat shit, here we go again  
So, god damn... is it that time again already  
Haha, you don't look too happy to see me  
Fuck man, don't everybody welcome me back at once  
All right, fuck ya'll then.**

**You can get the dick, just call me the ballsac, I'm nuts  
Michael Vick in this bitch, dog, fall back you mutts  
Fuck your worms, you never seen such a sick puppy…"**

Cold Wind Blows-Eminem

_**EPOV**_

We were halfway to Chicago when Carlisle stood up and walked over to my seat. I sighed, realizing he was probably doing it for my mom's sake. He loved her more than anything, and if she wasn't happy, then he sure as hell wasn't happy either.

As he sat down, I noticed Bella talking and giggling with Bree and Alice, while my mom bounced a smiling DC on her knee. Chara was waiting impatiently for her turn to hold my son. Paulo, Cai, Riley, and Jaz were all asleep. Apparently, the last few days had worn their asses out.

"Can I talk to you a minute, son?" Carlisle asked, sitting down.

I shrugged. "Look, I know what you're going to say. I'm fucking fine, okay. I just…"

He took a deep breath, leaning into me so we could have a more private talk. "I know you're tough, Edward, but we all need people sometimes. Caius told me what happened…."

I pounded on the table. "He had no fucking right. That shit is my business!"

Everyone on the jet looked back at me. Dante began screaming. After glaring at me, Bella took him to one of the back bedrooms. The other women followed a few minutes later. Each one of them managed to give me their own version of the evil glare. The commotion woke up the men.

"Why are you yelling, Edward? You just scared your son. Flying is a new experience for him. You will apologize to the women, but first tell us what's going on with you," Cai commanded.

I sighed and began playing with the ice in my glass. "Why the fuck did you tell Carlisle about Portland? He's a fucking civilian."

"When did you get so disrespectful, Young Turk? You may be a Don in training, but I am still the Boss of the Volturi. If you can't get your house in order, how can Marcus and I expect you to carry on our heritage? I'm disappointed in you. We will talk more about this at the meeting."

Carlisle, who was clearly uncomfortable, shifted in his seat. "I didn't mean to start any trouble. Your mother mentioned that you were acting strange, so I asked Caius. He was kind enough to fill me in on the tragedy. I'm sorry, Edward. It wasn't your fault, son."

I stood up and threw my glass sniffer across the room. "I'm tired of everyone tell me that! The kid is dead. No amount of money or other bullshit is going to bring him back. I fucking killed him!"

Jasper winced as one of my men came to clean up the damage. I felt the demon clawing beneath my skin. I wanted a hit of something so bad I could taste the motherfucking chemicals in my mouth. Unfortunately or fortunately depending on how the fuck you look at it, there wasn't any coke or even marijuana on the jet.

When I got myself together, I sat back down and looked out the windows. Man had come such a long way since the beginning of time. We could fly in luxury among the clouds, go to space, and clone animals; yet peace still eluded us.

After about ten minutes of silence, the women came back. Without a word to anyone, I stood up and made my way to the main bedroom. I liked flying in comfort so it had all the amenities of our Penthouse with some ostentatious add-ons, like platinum fixtures and a circular bed.

The first thing I saw when I got there was Bella shifting Dante. His little mouth was suckling her tit hard as she adjusted to make them both comfortable. There were a multitude of pillows behind her back, propping her up. I felt a pang of lust as I watched her feed my son.

Pretty soon, Dante got his fill and pulled away. I lifted him into my arms, settling his little head on my shoulders. So far, he seemed to like flying. The only time he'd really cried was during my earlier outburst. Other than that, things had been going well.

"I'm sorry, Dante," I whispered, kissing his tiny hands.

He sat up, pulled back, and looked me in the eyes. His face was chubbier. He looked sturdier than he did when he was first born. It was then that I realized I was missing his fucking childhood, even though I'd sworn that I wouldn't be like my fucking father. As he stared, I found myself wondering what he saw when he looked at me.

Suddenly, he began inching closer.

"He wants an Eskimo kiss, Edward," Bella said, buttoning up her top.

"What the fuck?"

She rolled her eyes. "Stop using that word in front of him. Jeez, Edward. Nuzzle his nose. You've seen me do it."

Gently, I touched noses with my son. He fucking squealed and kicked his fat legs. I did it again, and the results were the same. Before long, Bella joined in and we were all laughing and playing around.

Some of the ice over my heart melted as I looked down at my beautiful family. "I love you both so much."

Bella kissed my chin while Dante crawled around between us. "Don't shut us out, Edward. We love you, too. Please, don't shut us out," she pleaded.

The Portland thing was on the tip of my tongue, but as I watched her plant kisses all over DC's cherubic face, I realized I couldn't say it. They were too good for me and didn't need to be tainted with my bullshit. I'd never read a story where the Devil got a happy ending, and I probably wasn't going to be the exception to the rule.

Standing up, I excused myself to the bathroom. When I got there, I took out my pocket knife and made another cut in my abdomen, making sure not to cut too wide or deep. The pain centered me. I walked across the room to the sink. The man in the mirror looked fucking drained and wasted. It wasn't blow, coke, or pussy, but the effect was similar. I felt like I could breathe again.

A few minutes later, I cleaned up and put my knife away. As I left the room, I asked a God, who I didn't completely believe in, to not let me hurt my wife and child. I thought I buried the past demon and changed, but he was getting stronger every day.

My babydoll looked up and smiled at me. "Dante is getting sleepy. Will you take a nap with us?"

I crawled onto the bed, spooning my angel and our son. His thumb was in his little mouth. He looked so fucking happy as he played with a loose tendril of Bella's silky hair. She held her arm protectively across his small body.

"Go to sleep, go to sleep little angel," she sang softly, pulling DC closer to her breast.

From out of nowhere, I began to cry. Thankfully, Bella didn't notice. I closed my eyes a minute after Dante fell asleep. I needed my babydoll's soothing voice and gentle touches almost as much as our son. Holding them close, under the warmth of the blankets, I fell into a deep sleep.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

By the time I woke up, we were landing. My babydoll and our son were still sleeping peacefully. I didn't want to wake them up, so I had my mom help me put Dante into his car seat. She and Carlisle carried him off the plane. Then, I hoisted Bella up into my arms. She was lighter than I remembered.

When we stepped off the jet, there were a bunch of armored cars waiting for us. Shit was better since James had died, but the Volturi always had enemies. Each car had the Italian flag on the dash; except Riley's, which was Russian. He and Bree were the first to leave.

It was a little after five in the evening, so the sun was already starting to set. I took a deep breath, inhaling the air of the city that raised me. _Good old Chicago_, I thought wistfully. The last time I had been here was during the James shit storm. I wanted to take Bella out and show her a good time.

While I reminisced, Jane helped arrange my babydoll in the back of our black Escalade. Of course my mom buckled up Dante. Once everyone was comfortable, I instructed my men to take off. Jasper, Alice, and Cai were in a luxury Town Car behind us. All the vehicles were bullet and bomb proof.

Fifteen minutes later, Bella woke up. She was frazzled and reached for Dante without thinking. When she didn't feel him, she became agitated. I pulled her to my side and kissed her cheeks.

"It's okay, babydoll. He's right behind us in the middle of his nana and papa. Look," I gestured, pointing to the third row where our son was sleeping.

She got on her knees so she could reach back and touch his face. "Awww, look at him, Edward. He's jet lagged. Do you think he's warm enough?"

My mom smiled. "He's perfectly fine, Bella. It's rather toasty in here and he's covered with three blankets."

My babydoll blushed and shrugged her shoulders. "I just worry. I hated seeing him sick."

Carlisle used the back of his hand to test Dante's temperature. "He feels normal. Remember that babies have an extra layer of fat. He'll be fine, Bella."

I smirked. "I think our son may have two or three extra layers of fat. Sometimes I wonder if Bella has steroids in her breast milk,"

Playfully, she slapped me across the chest. "I like my babies fat and dimpled. He's so adorable like this. I think I'll cry when he leaves me for kindergarten."

I kissed her lips, pulling her closer to me. "We all have to grow up sometime, babydoll."

The ride to the Volturi mansion passed rather quickly. Dante slept through the whole fucking things. If Carlisle hadn't been there to reassure me, I would have been worried about him. He looked so damn peaceful, though.

As we passed through the gates, I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. When I closed my eyes, I could still see the bombed out front yard and bodies laying around. Those had been dark days when I thought my reason for living and our child were gone from this Earth.

Desperately, I reached for my babydoll, placing her into my lap. She squeaked but stopped protesting once she looked into my eyes. Then her soft supple lips were on my face and I felt like I could breathe again.

_Bella is the only woman in the world that knows how to soothe me. She's so goddamn beautiful._

"You're safe with me, Edward," she whispered into my ear.

I laughed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm supposed to keep you safe, babydoll. You're my wife."

I sensed Bella was about to argue, but luckily, Dante took that moment to wake up. and oh shit, did he wake up. He must have been conserving all of his lung power on the plane ride. It sounded like a motherfucking siren in the car.

Mom lifted him out of the car seat. "He's just so fussy. What's the matter, bambino?" She tried to give him a bottle but he knocked it out of her hand.

Carlisle laughed, taking Dante from Esme. "It's probably all the estrogen. Come hang with your old Papa, Dante."

Mom sputtered while one of my guards helped Carlisle out of the back seat. Sure enough, Dante stopped crying and laid his head down. It was fucking cold, so we made sure he stayed covered until we got inside the house.

"My baby," Di yelled, practically running to grab Dante from his Grandpa.

Marcus smiled and sent his servants to get our bags. The main house was fucking big, so we were all staying here. Plus it was safer than Buckingham Palace. Shitheads would be crazy to test us after the Russian situation.

I greeted my Godfather with a kiss on both of his cheeks. Then my babydoll came forward and I watched angrily as Marcus pulled her into his arms and kissed her forehead. Yeah he was my fucking family, but I didn't like men touching my wife. Period.

"You're getting more and more beautiful each time I see you, _cara_," he greeted, pulling away.

A full blush covered Bella's cheeks upon hearing the fucking compliment. "Thank you, Marcus. You're looking well yourself."

"Keep frowning and your face will get stuck like that, Edward," Marcus quipped while everyone shared a laugh at my expense.

Di and Esme were holding Dante like he was the last secret treasure on Earth, and Bella's eyes kept darting in their direction, too. DC was always oblivious to all the attention he was paid. He just sucked on his pacifier and looked around the opulent room.

A few minutes later, Bree and Riley came into the house. Riley's security was understandably cautions, but once my Godfathers greeted him with two kisses on the cheek, the guards visibly relaxed. Bree was her usual sweet self, blending in easily.

After we all greeted each other and washed up, we had a late lunch in the dining room. Di and Marcus had maids and a butler. I could tell that my babydoll wasn't comfortable with it all. Whenever a servant would fill her glass or bring a course, she jumped.

Our son tried to feed himself using his fat little hands. Giggling, Di lifted him out of the high chair and proceeded to help him. He liked when she made noise like an airplane. The amount of love that everyone showed my babydoll and Dante was overwhelming.

"He's so beautiful, Edward. You and Ali were the same," Di said with a wistful hint in her voice.

Marcus and I shared an angry look across the table. Di would have made a wonderful mother if that cocksucker hadn't raped her and destroyed any chance she had at a family. I knew even though he'd had the motherfucker killed, it would always weigh on him.

Bree and Riley were in their own little world until my Godfathers began grilling them. This was the first time in over a half a century that a Russian Don had been inside of the Volturi mansion. Riley kept his arm protectively around Bree as he answered the questions.

"Have you thought about the direction you want to lead the family in?" Cai asked as one of the maids refreshed his Bordeaux.

Riley shrugged and set his steak fork aside. "We've discussed it. I don't know how to be a leader. If I could trust one of my Uncles, I'd ask them to take over for me. I just want to finish school and be with Bree."

I smirked, glaring at him from across the table. "It's never that fucking easy. I took the _Omerta _when I was eighteen. You are twenty and already a Don. Make your Family listen to you. They're beneath you now."

"Why can't Riley have time? He's young, and I know for a fact that he's not like his brother or his father. Couldn't something be done?" Bella asked, worriedly.

I twirled my wine glass while I contemplated what she'd just asked. "You don't know anything about our world, Bella."

She glared at me. "I would know if you told me. Riley talks to me more than you do, Edward."

"Why the fuck are you talking to him? I'm the Don of the Volturi family, the one to which you belong. Don't forget where your loyalty lies," I snarled.

Several male voices yelled at me at once. I stood up and walked away from the room. Being in the fucking house was stifling. For a moment, I felt like I wanted to jump across the table and scream in my babydoll's face. All this rage was eating me alive.

I was drinking a bottle of Scotch in the East Wing reading room when I heard the door open. Quickly, I reached for my SIG. There was no fucking way an enemy was in the house, but I still didn't go places without my weapon.

"You're a _Svoloch'_, and you know it," Riley said, taking a seat next to me.

I sighed, feeling stupid as I handed him the bottle. "I know I'm a bastard. How mad is she? I shouldn't have talked to her like that."

He took a sip of liquor and then passed it back to me. "She's pissed. You may want to sleep in a different room tonight. Bella was just standing up for me. It's what friends do for each other."

I took out a Cuban cigar, lit it, and took a puff. "And you're her friend, _Testa di cazzo_? You barely know my wife."

He fucking laughed in my face. "I slept next to her for months. Dante used to kick me all the time. Bella couldn't remember who she was, but she loved your son. The nights when James had been particularly cruel, we'd stay up and talk. She's stronger than me, Edward. I don't think I would have made it out of that house alive without her help. Going through something like that with a person makes them your friend for life."

Angrily, I closed my eyes and looked away. "I fucking hate that she went through that hell! I feel like all I do is let her down. The monster inside of me… He can't be put back inside. Riley, I fucking killed a kid. You know that's against the Volturi Laws."

He took another swig of the drink. "We can't change the past, Edward. You're responsible for your actions, the same as me. I heard about Portland. You did the right thing. Let it go. You've got a great family. Don't push them away."

For the next hour, Riley and I got fucking pissed and bonded. By the time he was ready to take a nap, I felt like I could talk to my babydoll. We fist bumped in the hallway and went our separate ways.

I was looking for Bella when my Godfathers fucking ambushed me. Marlon, one of the hugest motherfuckers in the Volturi guard, carried my ass to the lowest level. Generally, these were the rooms where real Mafia shit went down. For example, Di could be having a tea party upstairs, and someone down here could be getting their fucking kneecaps broken.

"Don't say anything," Marcus instructed, holding out his ring for me to kiss.

I did so obediently, and then Caius came and I did the same.

"You disgrace us," he whispered.

They began speaking in Old Italian; even I barely understood the shit. I'd learned on slang and the modern tongue. From what I did catch, I knew it wasn't good for me. The Volturi took family very seriously, especially the women. My fucking Father had been a whore, but when he'd yelled at Esme in Aro's presence, he was punished.

Marcus sat down on one of the wooden chairs and faced me. His black eyes were sinister as he spoke.

"Why did you speak to your wife like that? We do not run things like the _Cosa Notra. _Our women are free to speak their minds. I admire Bella for standing up like that for Riley. She cares deeply for him. This Family also owes him a debt of gratitude for keeping her safe when we could not."

I fiddled with my shirt collar, effectively ignoring the statement for as long as possible.

"I'm sorry, Caius, Marcus. I'll apologize to my babydoll. I was looking for her when you showed up. I'm just out of it. Killing that kid messed my head up."

**_ ~~LAMTAF~~_**

***FLASHBACK (Portland, OR - One Week Ago)***

_My ass hadn't had time to acquaint itself to the seat before a fucking girl came over offering me a lap dance. Mr. Miyosaka, our host, slipped the woman a couple of hundreds before she led me up the stairs. Caius gave me a stern look as our eyes met over the staircase._

"_Don't fuck up," he mouthed, turning around._

_The stripper was fucking built. She was easily six feet, long blonde hair, and tits that could suffocate a motherfucker. Because I was a little drunk already, I got a fucking erection. She used that to her advantage._

"_Just relax, baby. I'm going to make you feel good," she sang, sliding into my lap._

_While she ground her heat onto me, I thought of Bella. I wished like fuck that she was the one in my lap, but this was business. I let the bitch get close to her orgasm, and then I pulled out my SIG and held it to her throat._

"_Something is off. Tell me what you know and I'll spare you life," I spat, pushing her off of me." She ran to the door, but I was faster. "Talk, bitch."_

_The story came out in jumbled words, but the gist was clear. Mr. Miyosaka was double teaming us. That was exactly what Caius had suspected and the reason we were here. He was only supposed to sell weapons we approved and he wasn't. _

_Growling, I pulled a chloroform-laced handkerchief out of my coat pocket and held it over her mouth until her body went lax. She would be okay but sedated until we got the fuck out of here. I kept my rule of not harming women or kids._

_Two knocks on the door and the bodyguard opened it. He saw whatever the bitch's name was asleep on the couch and gave me a 'job well done' nod. I walked down the stairs as if I owned the place._

_When I located Caius, I told him what I'd learned from the stripper. He made a call and Mr. Miyosaka came downstairs. Working girls always knew when shit was about to go down, so they began moving towards the exits, despite the groans from the patrons._

_I watched as Caius shot Mr. Miyosaka in the knee. Then, shit got heavy. Bullets went flying everywhere. Our men outnumbered Moyosaka's three to one, so we came out the victors. No one on our side suffered any serious injuries._

"_You're the example. Don't fuck with the Volturi again," I said, shooting our former business partner in the other knee._

_He yelped in pain while screaming, "Bakayarou," over and over again._

_Our men looted the club, breaking down the safe and taking everything of value. The few girls that had stayed were frightened. I separated the money into piles and handed a stack to each of them, along with the phone numbers to another club in the city that was hiring._

"_Do we torch it," Felix asked, coming up behind me._

_I shrugged. "Leave it as an example."_

_We had our armored SUV parked around the back alley entrance. Cai and I were heading to the Escalade when a bullet whizzed past my head. Without a glance, I pumped my SIG, turned around, and shot for the kill._

"_Ugh," someone cried out as they fell to the ground._

_Caius crouched behind me and took out another threat. After we deduced that there were only two, we stood up and walked over to identify. From afar, they didn't look Japanese, so I knew there was chance that they were just muscle._

_When Cai turned the one I'd shot over, I fucking vomited. He was built like a man, but his youthful features suggested that he was just a kid. I'd never killed a child or a woman until then. _

_The whole night I had nightmares. Bella called, but I didn't answer. The next day we sent Jenks to offer the money. The mother closed the door in his face, saying there was no price that could repay her for what she'd lost. _

"_It's not your fault," Cai whispered as the car drove towards home._

_I took out a joint and lit it. "Tell that to his mom."_

**_ ~~LAMTAF~~_**

When I came back to the present, both of my Godfathers were staring at me. I took a deep breath, suddenly feeling really fucking tired. Sometimes I wished that I had chosen a different life. I didn't want the Mafia life for DC or even Bella, but it was too late.

Marcus wrapped his arm around my shoulders while Cai continued to stare. "Edward, you need to go back to counseling, son. Dr. Uley called to say he's worried. Bella says that you don't go with her to see Athena. If I find out you're taking shit again, I'm sending you to rehab, Capisce?"

I had to lie. There was no fucking way I could do rehab. "I'm clean. You can ask Bella. She'll vouch for me. I've been drinking a lot, though."

Cai nodded. "Stay away from the drugs. I've seen many good Dons go down that road and never come back. Do you think you can handle the Senate run right now? February is not that far away."

"I can handle that shit with my eyes closed. I'm leading according to the polls that Gina is running."

Marcus patted me on the back. "Good. I have high hopes for you, Edward. Mafioso have always played an important part in American politics, but my Father, rest his soul, didn't like it. We're counting on you to change that and also redistrict Washington State to make our business more profitable."

Cai handed me a handkerchief so that I could wipe some of the sweat off my face. It was fucking hot in this room.

"How are Gina Bartello and Anna Demarco working out? I used to golf with Gina's Dad before he got sent Upstate to Sing Sing. Good guy but not very smart," he mused.

I shrugged. "Gina is good at her job, but Bella doesn't trust her. So far, Anna has done with I ask of her. They both fit in well at HADES. I'm not attracted to either one of them."

Marcus laughed and stood up. "You should listen to Bella. If she says Gina is no good, you should let her go. I can't force you, but in my experience, women are always right about other women. Don't mess up, Edward. You're not Eddie Sr. Be your own man," he warned.

"I won't fuck it up," I promised, hoping that it was true.

"Oh and before you go, Vince Campinelli and several members of the Cosa Notra are coming to the pre-Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. I want you on your best, Edward. He's going to try to get a rise out of you. Our Families could benefit from doing business together. Keep it together," Marcus ordered, raising his eyebrows.

I put my hand over my heart. "You have my word."

Soon after, I was allowed to go upstairs. My fucking clothes reeked of cigar smoke, putrid sweat, and liquor. I needed a shower before I even looked at my babydoll. Unfortunately, she was waiting for me in the hallway when I arrived at our part of the mansion.

"What happened to you," she asked, eyeing me nervously.

Slowly, I stepped forward. "Nothing. I'm just fucking tired. How about you join me for a nice hot shower? I'll make it worth your while."

She backed up until she hit the wall. "No! You talk to me like I don't even matter, treat me like a doormat, and ridicule in front of everyone. I'm your wife. I deserve to be treated better than this. If you think I'm going to let you have me after what you pulled..."

I inserted my knee between her legs and applied pressure. "In a minute you'll be begging for it. You want this as much as me."

Weakly, my babydoll tried to push me away. I grabbed her tiny wrists, raising them over her head. "Damn you," she whimpered, offering her lips to me.

Chuckling, I hoisted her over my shoulder and stomped to the bathroom. In less than a minute, we were both naked and trembling. There was an uncertainty I was unused to in Bella's eyes, but the lust and hunger were stronger.

I leaned against the all glass and pointed to the floor. "Down on your knees, Bella. I want to feel your sweet mouth on me."

"You don't deserve it. You haven't even apologized," she yelled, backing away from me.

"Don't deny me, babydoll. I'm your fucking husband. Do what I say," I snarled.

She shook her head and began putting her clothes back on. "I don't know why I agreed to this in the hallway. Something is wrong with you, Edward. I can't help you until you let me inside."

I stalked over, grabbing her arm roughly. "You said you loved me through the good and bad. Show me. I'm at war with myself. I need you. I promise we'll talk afterwards."

She dropped the clothes she was holding and got down on the floor. "I'm even more messed up than you," she mumbled, licking my shaft.

While she worked my cock, I stared at myself in the mirror. My muscles bulged and contracted as Bella's masterful mouth brought me close to completion. She was so much tinier than me, but right now, she held all the fucking power in her soft hands.

"Fuck yeah. Swallow. Just like that," I panted, using her hair as reigns.

When I felt myself about to come, I stood up and carried her to the glass wall. There, I turned her around and got down on my knees. Gently, I spread her legs and buried my tongue deep inside her pussy. She clawed at the wall, staying silent.

"You're always so fucking good, babydoll," I moaned, lining myself up.

She didn't make a noise as I stretched her walls. Something was wrong. My babydoll was usually fucking drenched. Since she wasn't, I pulled out and spit on my cock several times. Then, I pushed back in and pressed down on her clit.

"Do whatever you want," she said, facing the wall.

Like a bull in heat, I rutted and plundered into her hot center. My babydoll was practically motionless, so I had to move her hips. I tried kissing her neck, spanking her ass, and pinching her nipples, but nothing made her loosen up.

Finally, I wasn't able to hold my orgasm in any longer. "Ungh! Fuck, Bella," I yelled, almost collapsing on her back. There was no screaming or pussy clenches. This was the first time since we'd started fucking that Bella didn't come.

_Shit! Shit! Shit!_

She walked over to the Jacuzzi, turned it on, and poured some fruit-scented bubble bath shit into the water. All of this was done without a word to me. Feeling like a fucking monster, I stared wide eyed as she came under the light. Bella had bruises on her body. A lot of damn bruises.

"Did I give you these?" I asked, inspecting a particularly nasty one on her hipbone.

She lowered her head. "There was a time when I loved wearing your marks. They were a sign of the passion and love we felt for one another. Now, you just use my body. There is no intimacy, Edward. I don't know how much more I can take. I keep telling myself that it will get better if I hold on, but we're drifting father apart. I'm trying to make this work for us and for Dante, but I feel like I'm losing myself."

I sat down on the edge of the tub and rubbed my eyes. "I'm so fucking sorry, babydoll.

She laughed softly. "You always say that, but then you turn right around and hurt me again. I just wish you'd be honest with me. Is there… someone else?"

I smirked. "You'd like that, wouldn't you? All along, you've been waiting for me to cheat on you. Why don't you just leave me and save yourself all this pain."

Bella stepped over the edge and submerged herself underwater. Tiredly, I went to start the shower. We were in the same fucking room, but it felt like we were thousands of miles apart. I had a sinking feeling that this was the beginning of the end.

Later, after a nap in separate rooms, we went downstairs for dinner. Thankfully, everyone had taken turns watching our son so that we could rest. I still felt like shit because Bella wasn't talking to me.

I entered the dining room, stopping to watch as Jasper burped DC. Alice was next to him drawing in her sketchbook. They were so in tune with each other. She'd shift and he'd do the same. I remembered a time when it had been like that for Bella and me.

"It's too bad Rose, Em, and the boys aren't here," Di pouted, directing the maid.

Mom smiled. "We hog them all the time. Rose has an elderly Aunt and Uncle who practically begged them to come visit them in Maine this year. We'll all be together for Christmas next month," she soothed.

My babydoll stepped forward with Bree hot on her heels. After a brief conversation, the women went to the kitchen. Alice followed soon after, giving me a kiss on the cheek as she passed. Despite my frustration, I couldn't help but smile at her.

After I sat down, Jasper handed over DC. He smelled really good, like that expensive baby wash that Bella used on him. I kissed his cheeks and played with his fingers as he lovingly looked up at me. I was failing him and he didn't even know it.

"I'm going to fix things with mommy," I promised, rocking him gently.

"Baah-paaaaa-baaaa," he cooed while kicking his legs.

Jasper laughed and mimicked his nephew. "Dude, I can't wait until he can really talk. I think he's trying to communicate already, though. It must be pretty cool, having a son and all."

I nodded and wiped DC's wet mouth. "It's fucking wonderful. You and my sister thinking of adding to the family?"

He turned green and sputtered. "No…no… I mean, uh, someday, but Alice is enough right now. She has a toy room with dollhouses and Barbies. I don't think I could deal with two hyper small people."

We were still laughing when Riley walked in with Jake and Leah. Jake was officially on the Volturi payroll, so he was required to meet the other Families. His hair had grown back but still wasn't as long as it had been. Leah looked like she'd just came from a spa day.

"When did you guys get in," Jasper asked, as they sat down.

"An hour ago. Jake, you stay here. I'm going to see if the girls need any help," Leah said, kissing him on the cheek.

After she left, Riley turned on ESPN so we could watch football. My son made me proud by making ugly faces at the New England Patriots. I hoped he'd grow up to be a Bears fan. There was a game tomorrow whicj we were all going to attend together.

"Touchdown!" Jasper and Riley yelled as the Seattle Seahawks scored.

DC bounced his little butt on my knee and did some kind of baby fist pump. Everyone laughed and shook his little hand. Our son was really fucking cute with his tousled bronze hair, green eyes, and fat rosy cheeks.

A few minutes later, Cai, Carlisle, and Marcus joined us. Immediately, Dante reached for Caius, which made me a little fucking jealous, but when I saw how his face lit up, I eagerly handed my son over. I knew Cai loved children. Many of them were freaked out about his albinism, but Dr. A's daughter, Penny, and DC didn't seem to notice or care.

During the fourth quarter, the women came back. Bella sat next to me and played peek-a-boo with Dante until he held out his arms for her. Cai handed him over and went to call his girlfriend. I watched in awe as Bella held him to her breasts and hummed softly. He put his thumb in his mouth, and shortly after, fell asleep.

"How did you do that," I asked, astonished.

She shrugged and laid him across her lap. "It's a mommy thing."

The Seahawks ended up winning the game. I helped my wife tuck our baby boy into bed. Di had arranged a nursery downstairs so that we were never far away. The baby monitor stayed on the dining table just in case he woke up and was scared.

Everyone seemed in good spirits as we ate grilled seafood and vegetables. the food was good, but my babydoll didn't seem to have much of an appetite.

"Eat," I ordered as I inserted a forkful of lobster into her mouth.

"I'm not really hungry," she replied, chewing slowly.

All of the couples at the table were talking or taking turns feeding each other. In comparison, Bella and I looked like strangers or distant enemies. Seeing her pick at the food made me lose my appetite.

The rest of the night passed quickly. Dante woke up, Bella fed him, I walked him, and he went back to sleep. Then we did the same. Bella didn't lay her head on my chest, and I didn't talk to her. I felt the rift growing as I drifted into a restless sleep.

**_ ~~LAMTAF~~_**

The next day, I decided to show Bella some of my past. I thought that it might help her understand me, and maybe help me understand myself. We were sinking fast, and I didn't know how to put us back right.

At breakfast, I took a Xanax to help with the anxiety. Mom and Dad fed DC cereal as I planned out the day. They offered to babysit him so I could take Bella to our old house.

"Are you sure, Edward?" she asked, getting into the car.

"Positive," I answered, buckling her seat belt.

It took half an hour to reach my old home. The well manicured lawns of the neighborhood signified class and money. Wide-eyed, Bella stared out the window as I pulled up to the biggest home on the street.

"Wow," she sighed.

It wasn't as big as the Volturi mansion, but the blue Colonial-style house was still opulent. My hands began to shake as I recalled all the times I'd come home after a night of partying to see Alice playing in the front yard. Like most people, I had some very good and some very bad memories of growing up.

"Let's go inside," I suggested, taking Bella's hand. Luckily, she didn't pull away.

"This is beautiful, Edward. Do you rent the house out," she asked while twirling around the front room.

"No. It's just a museum to remember the past. Mom wants to sell it, but I don't know if we should. We fucking grew up here."

She let me lead her around the upstairs and downstairs. There was hardly any furniture because Mom had taken all that she wanted and given away a lot to charity. When that happened, I'd been estranged from my family so I didn't get a say in shit.

"This was my room," I said, leading her inside. Some of my old football and baseball trophies were still on the shelf. There were also pictures of me with my father.

"You look just like him," Bella said, touching one of the frames.

I looked away, not liking the unfamiliar emotions forming in my chest. "Yeah, we fucking looked alike, but I hope that I don't end up like him."

My babydoll sat the frame down and sat down on my old King-sized bed. I never brought bitches to my house, but I'd wanked off a lot in the room. Of course, seeing my angel there made me hard, but mostly I just felt…sad.

"Tell me something about your past that you used to do here," she prompted.

I smirked, putting my arm around her waist. "There used to be a television mounted in the corner. My dad used to buy me pornos from all around the world. After my first time, I turned into a real pussy hound. I jerked off all the time. Thank fuck we had maids and shit because I wasn't always clean. Dad made sure I had a lock on my door. Esme could only come inside if I gave her permission. He said men needed their privacy."

"That's messed up," Bella said, resting her head on my shoulder.

"When my parents would fight, I'd come in here and crank up the music. If Alice was awake, I'd let her sleep with me until they calmed down. Towards the end, they were always yelling. My father would say mean shit to mom and throw his bitches in her face. She would cry for a long time afterwards. Back then, I thought she deserved it for letting him treat her that way."

My babydoll scooted closer to me. "Do you feel the same about me? Sometimes you look at me like I disgust you. Your mom wasn't weak. She loved your dad and her children. She braved it all for you. I'm trying to do the same for us and for Dante."

I laid down, pulling her on top of me. She settled her small head over my heart and inhaled deeply. For a long time, we just held each other. I wanted to confess all of my sins, just fucking lay them out, but I refused to drag my angel down to Hell with me.

All of a sudden, Bella unzipped our pants. She worked me a little while pulling her underwear and pants off. After that, she guided my dick inside of her. We both hissed from the friction. This time she was very wet.

"Just sit back and enjoy, Edward," she moaned, throwing off her shirt.

The ride was slow, pleasurable, and fucking sweet.

"Ahhh. Feels so good, Edward. Just like this," she mumbled, licking my neck.

"Bella… I'm so sorry…for the way…been acting. You always know how to make me feel better. Don't leave me. I'm a mess, but I need you. Please don't leave me," I begged, reaching my first climax.

For round two, I rolled my babydoll over and placed her legs over my shoulders. With each thrust, I got closer and closer to her G-spot. When I hit it, she opened her eyes wide and kissed me deeply as the wave swept over us.

I pumped and pumped until there was nothing left. As we listened to each other's heart beat, I felt like we'd gotten a piece of our magic back. I knew that it was only a temporary fix, though. The monster was only sated, not controlled.

Luckily, the house still had working plumbing so we were able to clean up. Bella found some empty boxes and made me pack some pictures and trophies inside. She wanted us to put them in our house after it was built.

"Not all memories are bad, Edward," she whispered, taping up the last box.

I carried them to the car while we waited for it to heat up. Then we drove to Soldier Field. The Chicago Bear's owner was a good friend of the Volturi, so we had the owner's box for the game .It was a good thing, too, because it was fucking freezing outside.

Everyone was there when we arrived. Dante was wearing a red sweater and jeans outfit. My babydoll took him to the back so that she could feed him. I watched as they did their thing, content just to sit at her feet. When that was done, we returned and Di took DC.

My babydoll sat in my lap as I tried to explain the game of football to her. Jasper and Jake said they'd both tried and failed. I gave up after the third time she cheered for the wrong team. Laughing, she kissed me on the cheek.

"I'm good at other things," she whispered.

I remembered what we'd just done an hour ago and smirked. "You sure are, babydoll. Any idiot can run a fucking ball up and down the field, but putting up with an asshole like me takes skill."

At halftime, I liberated my son from the stifling grandmothers and fed him. Bella, Bree, and Alice were talking about some fucking fashion show that I didn't want my babydoll to participate in at all. I'd be damned if some horny fuckers got to eye-fuck her on a stage!

Riley handed me a beer as he took a seat. "I like American football better than soccer."

Bree came over and was immediately curled up next to him. "Before I was sold, I used to play the soccer in my village. It popular there. I don't understand this game."

"You played soccer," both Riley and I asked skeptically, looking at her delicate form.

She smiled. "I did! I am not much to look at, but I am very, very strong. After my accident, my back hurt too much. I stop playing. I used to cry."

Riley pulled her closer to him and kissed her nose. "You can play again, darling. Carlisle said that the surgeons have worked wonders for people who have your type of spinal injury."

"In the meantime, we'll teach you about American football. You'll probably pick it up faster than Bella," I teased.

My wife walked up behind me and smacked me on the back of the head. "I heard that, Edward Cullen! Just explain it one more time. The nickelback is the one that passes the ball…"

Everyone laughed as my angel's face turned crimson. I licked her cheeks. "Quarterback," we all shouted at once.

For the first time in weeks, I was relaxed. The game ended with us winning 32-17. The owner had a box of signed memorabilia waiting for us, so we didn't have to go on the field. I was glad, because I didn't want any asshole players staring at Bella's ass.

We ate lunch at one of the best Italian restaurants in the city. Dante gnawed on a breadstick while we all ate our weight in deep dish pizzas. It was nice just spending time with our family and friends.

Hours later, we made it back to the mansion. Everyone was tired so we decided to nap before the night time dinner. My babydoll fell asleep in bed with Dante as he suckled her nipple. I waited until he was done and the, changed his diaper. Unfortunately, he was not tired. It took three songs and a long walk to get him down.

"Sweet dreams, _figlio_," I whispered while kissing his soft forehead. When he slept, he looked more like Bella than me. They both had an innocence I'd lost long ago.

I was dreaming of my silver Corvette when I felt soft fingers in my hair. "Wake up, sleepyhead. You have thirty minutes."

I moved away and mumbled, "Five more minutes."

"Don't you want to see the corset and panties before I put my dress on?" Bella asked flirtatiously.

_Damn you woman!_

I sat up and rubbed my bleary eyes. "Holy hell. Did your tits get bigger? What dress are you wearing tonight? I don't want.."

"Guys eye-fucking my wife," she finished, laughing.

I stood up and walked to the bathroom. "I'm just a constant source of amusement for you, aren't I?"

She patted my ass. "You have other uses."

Unfortunately, there was no time for fun. I needed to impress my Godfathers by being a Don they could be proud of tonight. With that thought in mind, I bathed, shaved ,and dressed in a tailored slate gray suit, pristine white shirt, and black leather loafers. Then, I sprayed on some Armani and waited for Bella to do her thing with my hair.

"You look so handsome," she complimented, kissing me on the jaw.

I took one look at her dress and closed my eyes. "Change. You got the sleeves right, but it's too fucking short and tight."

Sighing, she ignored me as usual. "Dante is ready. Alice will be here to do my hair in a minute. I'm perfectly fine."

Bella's cashmere black dress had long sleeves and didn't reach her knees. It hugged her in all the right, or wrong if you asked me, places; especially accentuating her tiny waist, plump ass, and beautiful tits. She was even wearing stiletto heels. _No fucking way!_

Again, I took a deep breath. "Please, babydoll. There will be a lot of Mafioso here tonight. I don't want them looking at you. I'll get into a fight and ruin shit."

She rolled her heavily made up eyes at me. "I'll wear stockings. Will that help?"

Knowing that I'd lost this one, I just nodded. The stockings actually made it worse. A lot of Italian fuckers had pantyhose fetishes.

"Hey, where is your engagement ring?" Bella asked, looking at my finger.

"I took it off in the lair. It's in the safe there. I'm sorry, babydoll," I lied.

She shrugged. "It's fine. You have your wedding band. I 'm just so used to you wearing the Tungsten. Oh well, it'll be safe in the lair."

I made a mental note to have my men search for it. Then I kissed my angel and headed out to find my son. He was being held, as usual, by one of the oldest matrons of the Volturi. Beatrice's husband had died a long time ago. He'd worked as one of Aro's favored guards. She was now ninety-eight and showed no signs of dying.

"Beautiful, bambino," she cooed, kissing DC all over his face. He smiled and slobbered. My son had a way with women.

I watched them as some of the older wives began arriving. They greeted me with hugs, kisses, and requests to meet Bella before finding nirvana with Dante. With all the screaming and happy sighs, you would have thought a male stripper was in the house.

"He looks just like Edward," they said looking back and forth as they took in our features.

I felt a small body brush against my back. Slowly, I turned around. My babydoll was a fucking vision. Alice had done her hair up with a pearl comb. She had on her pearl necklace and earring set that I'd given her a few months ago. All in all, she looked really fucking sexy but classy, too.

"You look beautiful," I said, kissing her pulse point.

Unfortunately, we were interrupted by the geriatrics. "There she is! That must be the Bella. Oh my. No wonder our Edward fell so hard. She's more beautiful than the pictures..."

Di and Esme came forward and ushered Bella into the room. "Pray for me," she whispered, letting go of my hand.

I stayed long enough to make sure that she was comfortable. The water birth story won them over, and like always, my wife became the queen of the room. After winking at her, I departed. Part of me felt guilty for leaving my son in the estrogen den, but he looked really happy chewing on his baby cookie.

"Edward, there's someone I'd like you to meet," Marcus said, handing me a flute of champagne.

Vince Campinelli was tall and swarthy, just like his father had been. He looked like a stereotypical Italian Mafioso with the slicked back hair and suspenders. I knew he was only four years older than me but wasn't close to my financial or personal success. He was still single and had yet to make double digit millions.

"_Buen giorno, _Edward. It's been a long time," he said, shaking my offered hand.

Playing the fucking nice host, I smiled. "I was sorry to hear about your dad's passing. Marcus tells me that you're ready to change your ways and possibly do business with us."

He nodded and played with his bow tie. "My father was a good man. He loved Italy with all his heart and soul. Growing up, we were only permitted to speak Italian in the house. No English. Back then, all the families were pure Italian blood. It was a rule."

Marcus grabbed us all another flute of champagne and led us to an empty corner. Quietly, Caius joined the conversation. There were slick eyes watching us from every direction, but it was clear this was a private meetings between Dons.

"Hors d'oeuvres?" A servant offered, holding out a silver tray.

Vince took several of the small sandwiches. He wasn't fat, but he had a lot of muscle like Emmett. Marcus and I shared a look as he daintily ate and sipped from his flute. So far, things were looking good.

I was checking the messages on my phone when I heard Vince gasp. Both Marcus and I looked up to see what had garnered a reaction from him. When I noticed the woman who held his gaze, I groaned and stood up.

"She is exquisite," he murmured, rising from his seat.

She is my wife and the mother of my son," I snarled, blocking his view.

Oblivious, Bella was laughing at something some old fucker was saying. It didn't escape my notice that his eyes didn't for further than her tits. Usually I would have been fucking angry, but I knew the guy was too old to do anything; unlike Vince who was still sizing up Bella.

"Please invite her over. I wish to meet her," he begged, looking at me.

My babydoll smiled radiantly as I asked everyone to excuse us and took her small hand.

"Business," I whispered in ear. She nodded.

"Vince Campinelli, I'd like you to meet my wife, Isabella Cullen."

Bella held out her hand. "How do you do, Mr. Campinelli?"

The fucker almost kissed it until he looked in my eyes. Wisely changing his mind, he returned the greeting respectfully.

"Please sit down, t_esoro_. Are you Italian? Where did you meet, Edward," Vince asked, practically bouncing in his seat.

_Tesoro? She's my fucking treasure, not yours._ I mentally seethed.

My Godfathers cleared their throats but the motherfucker didn't seem to notice. He just kept staring at my wife! Unlike the old fucker, he seemed most interested in her face. My babydoll's eyes were lined and she had on some pale pink lipstick-the only makeup she wore.

As usual, Bella's blush came out to make her even more beautiful.

"I'm not Italian. My ancestors were Spanish, British, and Native American. I met Edward in Seattle. I used to be his secretary," my angel answered as she cuddled closer to me.

If possible, Vince's black eyes darkened as he looked at our joined hands. "You're a lucky man, Cullen."

Bella kissed my cheek. "I'm a lucky woman. Edward is a wonderful husband and father. Our son loves his daddy so much. Well, um, I'll go so you guys can talk business. Dante was a little fussy when I left him. I'm just going to put him to sleep."

I helped her up and made sure that Vince saw me brush my hand over her ass before she left.

The fucker was playing at something, and I didn't like it one damn bit. Fuckers could come at me, but involve my family and they'd pay.

"What was that all about?" I asked, taking my seat again.

He smiled wistfully. "Nothing. It's just nice to have the company of a beautiful woman at times. I'm neither married nor do I have children. I might as well throw my life into the business."

For the next hour, we discussed shit. Jasper, Jake, and many other men came to join us. Riley was introduced to everyone. There was shock on many people's faces when I invited him to sit next to me. The Russians and Italians hadn't been tight in years.

It was decided that we'd let the _Cosa _into some of our weapons trades. In return, they would help us with the illegal rare jewel market. It wasn't easy getting that shit out of countries, and by law, there was only a certain amount that was allowed to be shipped.

After we hashed out general details, one of the waiters handed every man a glass of Scotch. Marcus stood up and held his glass out. "Today represents the _Cosa Notra_ and _La Camorra_ of Chicago working together as an alliance. May there be peace."

"Salute!" was yelled all around as the party got into full swing.

We'd had our meeting in public because many Mafia families were present. Marcus wanted them to see the power of the Volturi in hopes that they'd brag about it. Part of being a legend was being fucking awesome, but the other part was having people _think_ you were fucking awesome.

My babydoll came to me as soon as I left the little enclave. She led me to the dance floor where we proceeded to slow grind and flirt like teenagers.

"Did it go well," she asked shakily.

I nodded. "Don't be afraid to ask me shit, Bella. I was wrong the other day. You're my confidant. Business is good."

The traditional Italian dinner was fucking delicious. We ate in the formal dining hall, which was decked out with red walls and expensive paintings. Di had decorated the home, and Marcus spared her nothing. I was hoping to do the same for Bella's dream house.

My son made his official debut wearing a little red sweater vest and pants. My babydoll and I walked him around the room while people complimented and congratulated us. DC ate up the attention, being more adorable than usual.

Hours later, we were tired. The guests started to file out with leftovers and promises to come back. My babydoll was already half asleep. Dante had long since been put to bed. There was a guard outside of the nursery because Bella didn't trust the women. She was scared that would try to run off with him.

I carried my babydoll up the stairs as the cleaning staff began their work. She surprised me by asking to set up the fireplace. I did that and poured us some apple cider. Then we sat on the bear-skin rug and talked about general shit.

Before long, we were naked and making love in front of the fire. Bella's tits looked amazing in the glowing light. I suckled her as we dissolved into each others heat. The buildup was slow so the reward was even better. I came and hardened inside of her pussy more times than I could count.

"I love you," we whispered in unison, finally finding slumber.

Alice woke us up early the next morning. It had snowed enough that we have a snowball fight. My babydoll dressed DC in a ridiculous looking blue snow suit with a fur hoodie. He screamed bloody-fucking-murder as she tried to calm him down.

"I know, son. Let your mom have her fun."

Bella pushed me away. "He looks so cute. Plus, he'll be warm."

Playing outside was fun. Bree and Riley were used to Russian winters, so they didn't think it was that cold. Alice hopped on Jasper's back and made him run her all around the yard. Jake and Leah took one look at the ground and went back inside where it was warm.

Around noon, Dr. A and Penny arrived. Caius looked really damn happy. My babydoll let Penny play with Dante in the snow. The little girl made a snowball and held it up to DC's nose. He giggled wildly, reaching his fat little gloved fists out until she let him touch it.

We stayed outside for another hour to work up an appetite. My son's cheeks matched his mother's. As I watched them go into the house, I thought about how much better this Thanksgiving was than last year.

After changing into formal clothes, a black suit for me and a long purple wrap gown for my angel, we went downstairs. I was fucking relieved that it was just family because Bella's fucking dress made her tits look amazing.

Di had gone all out. The longest table in the house was set and filled with food. DC wore his little black Gucci suit for the pictures, and then, Bella changed him into a green 'Happy Thanksgiving' footy onesie.

As we sat down, Marcus handed me the knives so I could carve the first slice of turkey. I laid it on my babydoll's plate, and she beamed at me.

"Let's go around and say what we're thankful for," Mom suggested, keeping our traditions.

Everyone took turns saying the usual. Bella said she was thankful that she would never be alone again. Jasper was thankful for finally finding someone who loved him. Penny was thankful for Dante, who she referred to as _her_ baby. Everyone was thankful for health and family.

When it was my turn, I lifted Bella's hand and kissed her knuckles. "I'm thankful that this wonderful woman loves my stupid ass and has given me a son, something I thought I'd never have. Thank you, babydoll."

"Sap," Caius teased, winking at me.

"This is why you have to come back to counseling, Edward. We need you and Bella's kind of love in this world," Dr. A. said.

"I'll do better," I promised.

Minutes later, the plates were filled. Dante sat in my lap because he didn't like his high chair. Bella and I fed him mashed bits of stuffing, potato, and mac and cheese. Most of it ended up on his bib, but it was a lot of fun to watch his expressions as he tried different things. He definitely shared my hate of squash.

I talked to him while he ate. "Last year you were just a tiny little seed in mommy's stomach, and now you're here eating with the grownups. Time flies, son."

Pretty soon, the sweets came. We found out desserts were Dante's favorite. He had Bella's sugar habit. We only fed him a little pumpkin mush. Carlisle said it was okay for him to have small bits of natural, less processed food.

Somehow, we managed to sing Christmas carols after the feast. Bella sat next to me while I played "Silent Night" on the piano. Dante slept peacefully in his bassinet as we shared hot chocolate and laughter.

Deep down, I knew that all this holiday had done was put a band aid on the wound that was our marriage. Unless we made real changes, there was no way for us to last. At times, I thought about leaving my family. Perhaps they would be better off without all my shit.

After we put our son to bed, Bella put a silk midnight blue nightgown on and cuddled with me. We kissed a little, and then she fell asleep while sighing my name. Restless, I watched her chest rise and fall as she dreamed.

Each time I dozed off, I had the same nightmare. It was the night of the shooting in Portland; everything was the same except the victim looked like an older version of Dante. I'd scream and the next scene would take me to the house, where it would be Bella closing the door on Jenks.

Because of that shit, I checked on DC five times, eventually putting him in bed with us. He cuddled close to his mom as I kept watch over them. I would never let some motherfucker kill my son and hurt my angel. I'd die a billion times over first.

At five in the morning, I got up and got dressed. My babydoll groaned and opened her eyes. She was careful not to wake up Dante, who was sleeping deeply splayed on his stomach.

"Where are you going?" she whispered.

Bending down, I kissed both she and our son. "I thought I'd go for an early morning drive. You can sleep in. I'm just restless."

"If you need me, I'll get up," Bella offered.

I shook my head. "No, you need to rest. I'll be back before you wake up. Text me if you need anything."

By the time I slipped out, she was already sound asleep again. "I love you both," I said, closing the door.

In the garage, I decided on one of the BMWs. A bodyguard offered to go with me, but I waved him off. This was something I had to do alone. The anger and sadness was eating me alive. I thought about calling Dr. Uley, but I craved the quick fix.

Driving well over the speed limit, I made it to the warehouse district in record time. The building I pulled up to looked regular on the outside but inside was a world motherfuckers paid dearly to visit.

After parking, I jogged to the back. There were two big motherfuckers on duty. They eyed me and waved me inside once I gave the correct secret password and a wad of cash. Before I took the first step, I thought about my babydoll. She would hate me for this.

A Chinese woman in a tight leather dress led me to a room with the number 22 on it. Shortly after, a big breasted woman with pale skin and long red hair entered. She stripped and sat on a chair while I stared at the floor.

I guess I was quiet for too long because she got in my face. "What do you want, pretty boy," she asked, sitting in my lap.

With a cry of defeat, I let the tears fall. "I want everything. Destroy me."

* * *

****Translations****

**Svoloch (Russian)—**Bastard

**Testa di cazzo (Italian)—**Dickhead

_**Bakayarou (Japanese)—**_Dumb Bastard

* * *

_Time for me to hide with the Stoli again. Review to let me know what you think. I read them all even if I don't answer. Click the green button and get the next chapter faster. It's halfway done. *Huggles* to you all._


	6. Chapter 5: You Really Got a Hold on Me

_**A/N: **Another chapter for you all. It's a faster update so I hope you're happy. I got a lot of shit for my last chapter. This story i s going in some dark places. If you can't read infidelity and other tough subjects, please jump ship. I was very unhappy with some of the immature flaming I got last chapter. I do this out of my heart as a labor of love. If it's not fun for me, I'm going to stop. I have a life and other things I can devote hours to. I don't force anyone to read my writing. There are enough fics on here to choose from. If people keep bullying authors, there will be no more Twific and then no one wins. This doesn't apply to most of you, but some people need to grow the fuck up. The hate and jealousy in this fandom is truly sickening. I don't even want to be a part of it anymore outside of my writing. I can't believe that grown women can act so catty and bitter. It's ridiculous. I **HATE** fucking bullies. Sorry for that, but I had to get it off of my chest. I will finish **ALL **of my fics so bear with me. I promise to do a warning when we get to the real cheating chapter. I know some of my readers already flounced. I'm going to stop here before I get angrier. Happy Monday to all my readers. I hope this doesn't ruin your day._

_Shoutouts to **Dayjolie, Ash, Giulia, Char, Chelle, Becky, Brazilian Stephanie, Carolina, Karebear, Skye, Julie, Tally**, and all my other twarlings. _

_Please go to my **BLOG**. Link is on my Profile Page. There are songs and pictures.  
_

**_Rec_**_** (in my favorites)**: "One Hundred Percent" by **I Punch Werewolves for Fun-**_Edward fucked up one night and now he may be the father of 3 babies. Though, Bella is his one true love._  
_

* * *

**I don't like you but I love you  
seems that I'm always thinking of you  
oh, you treat me badly, I love you madly,You really got a hold on me  
(you really got a hold on me)  
said you really got a hold on me  
(you really got a hold on me)I don't want you  
but I need you  
Don't wanna kiss you but I need to  
oh you do me wrong, now  
my love is strong, now  
you really got a hold on me  
(you really got a hold on me)  
said you really got a hold on me  
(you really got a hold on me)I love you and all I want you to do is just  
hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me  
**

You Really Got a Hold on Me-She and Him

_**BPOV**_

"Edward, are you all right?" I asked, touching his forehead. He'd been in bed since returning home from the morning trip.

I felt a little guilty for not going with him, but I didn't want to be a nag. At this point, our marriage was being only held together by loose strings. I tried to be everything for Edward, but I knew that we were falling fast.

He opened one eye and glared at me. "Go away, Bella. I just need to rest. I told you I went to the Boxing Club this morning. I'm really fucking sore, and I think I'm coming down with a cold. Keep DC away. I don't want him catching my shit."

I used my hand to test his temperature. "You do feel a little warm. I'll make you some homemade chicken soup. Can I do anything else?"

Groaning like he was in pain, he turned over. "I'm not hungry. I took some pain meds. I'll be fine. Go to the Water Tower Place and buy some shit. There's no limit on any of your cards. I want you to really shop. Don't worry about the money."

I frowned, putting the glass of water to his parched lips. "Drink. I'm not interested in shopping, honey. I'm worried about you. What's really wrong?"

Since his return, he'd been acting strange. He'd left at around five and came back hours later as I was changing Dante's diaper. I couldn't see any visible marks on him, but he clutched his ribs like Jasper used to do after he'd gotten beaten up in a brawl. I really wanted to believe the boxing story but that didn't explain his attitude.

"Leave it alone, Bella. There's nothing to talk about. I told you what happened. If you don't trust me, then I don't know why the fuck you're still here," he mumbled, closing his eyes again.

I grabbed my purse and walked to the door. "Fine. It's clear you don't care enough about me to tell me the truth, Edward. Husbands are supposed to _communicate_ with their wives! I thought we were making progress, but you continue to push me away. Don't worry; I'll keep Dante away from you."

He sat up and forcefully threw the water glass against a far wall, shattering it into a million tiny pieces. Lately, there had been many times when Edward's rage scared me, and this was just another one. I didn't know what I'd done to make him hate me so much, but I was starting to fear for my safety.

"Get the fuck out, Bella! I don't need your nagging shit right now. I have enough to worry about. Go take care of my son," he snarled, turning away from me.

With tears in my eyes, I ran from the room. When I got to the library, I closed the door and sat down on one of the pristine Queen Anne chairs. Then, I let all the pain and anguish engulf me. I didn't want my baby boy or any of our family to see me so shaken, so I stayed until I had the tremors under control.

Shakily, I stood up and opened the door. Edward was on the other side waiting for me. Almost all of his body weight was being supported by the wall. He looked terrible. The usual luster and shine was missing from his hair and eyes. Plus his skin was three shades paler than normal. Despite the way he'd treated me; my heart went out to him.

"Come here, babydoll," he said softly, holding his arms out for me.

I wanted to be strong and walk past him, but I needed to feel his body heat around me. I needed to feel some love and affection. Most of all, I needed to feel Edward's heart beat to believe we were still intact.

"I don't know why you're so angry at me. I love you, Edward," I sobbed, letting him comfort me.

He kissed my forehead gently. "It's not you, Bella. I'm angry at myself. If you knew what I've done, you wouldn't love me anymore."

I pulled back so I could look up into his emerald eyes. "That's not true. Tell me," I whispered quietly.

He loosened his arms a little so that I could breathe again. "It's…the drugs and… I'm sorry about hurting you and not being there for Dante. I'm not a good person. You deserve better."

Quietly, I kissed the skin just below his ear. "Don't say that, honey. You are good. Um, I can stay with you today. Di and Esme won't care as long as Dante gets to go along."

He shook his head and kissed my fingers. "Go buy shit, babydoll. I'm not good company at the moment. I'll be okay once you get back. Get something sexy."

Reluctantly, I backed away from him and straightened my clothes. "I'll get you something, too. Relax and know that nothing you do will make me stop loving you."

Edward's special smile that he gave only to me graced his handsome face. Feeling much better, I helped him back into bed. Then I found a tiny broom and duster in a storage closet and cleaned up the mess. By the time I finished, Edward was fast asleep.

"I love you, Mr. Cullen," I whispered as I shut the door.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

Bree met me in the hall. "You look pretty, Bella," she said, linking her arm with mine as we walked down the stairs. There was an elevator, but I thought it was a little much.

She and Riley were staying in another part of the mansion. The place was so big we could all have gone weeks without bumping into each other. The money and power that the Volturi exuded was legendary and hard to understand for someone like me.

I smiled, giving a once over to Bree's simple, long-sleeved winter white dress. Her long blonde hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun and her clear blue eyes were full of wonder. All in all, she was a beauty.

"You look darling, Bree. I bet Riley can't keep his hands off of you. You two seem awfully loved up," I teased, giggling.

Suddenly, she stopped and looked down at me. "I…want him to, um, do things, but I am scared, Bella. I have no experience in these matters. I read book but it confuse me more."

"Um, well, if you don't mind me asking, what have you done? It's none of my business but it may help me to help you."

She shrugged and began playing with her angel wing necklace. Since Edward had given it to her, she'd never gone a day without it. With the clothes and hair, Bree looked especially angelic.

"I, um, we kiss. Riley touched my chest once, but I got scared. We hold hands," she finished, shyly.

I closed my eyes and remembered the days when I was so innocent. The first time Edward touched me, I knew that I wanted him. We used to be insatiable, but lately I didn't feel the same passion. Mostly I was worried for the future.

"You shouldn't do anything you're not ready for, Bree. You're only eighteen. I know Riley will respect your wishes. You can always ask me or any of the girls if you have questions. We won't laugh. In fact, I was thinking of doing a sex education night at the bookstore. There's a new novel by a renowned Human Sexuality college professor coming out next week," I said encouragingly, leading her along.

Eventually, we reached the bottom steps. I could hear Dante's laughter from the den. He was such a happy baby. I thanked God every day that he was mine. It took a lot of patience and time to care for him, but the rewards were priceless.

"Hello, little man," I cooed, taking him from Esme. She pouted but gave him up easy enough.

"He was just changed. Our _bambino_ is so much like Edward. Those diapers used to be a nightmare," Di said, laughing.

I giggled while bouncing my little angel on my knee. "Hey, that's my husband you're talking about."

She smiled. "Speaking of husbands, let's get this show on the road. It's time to go spend some of their cash while they talk about boring business things. Athenodora and Penny should be down soon."

A few minutes later, they appeared. I looked away as Cai kissed his girls and walked away whistling. In the little time that I'd known him, I'd never seen him this happy. I was hoping for a Spring wedding for those two.

Penny went straight for Dante, begging until I let her hold him. Smiling, she kissed his rosy cheeks and began him rocking gently. My baby boy just sucked on his pacifier while looking up at her. Alice, always the handy one, took out her fancy phone and snapped a picture of them.

"We're all here. Let's go, ladies," Di said, leading us out the door.

There was a Hummer waiting for us at the entrance. Two men who were bigger than Em opened the door and helped us inside. Esme did Dante's car seat and Penny immediately took the space next to him. I took the other side.

"It's too bad Paulo and Chara had to go back to Greece, but I understand. Paulo said they had to get things done if they hope to make Christmas," Di said sadly.

Esme squeezed her shoulder. "We'll all be together this Christmas in Seattle. I hope the days fly by until then!"

Upon hearing his grandmother's excited voice, Dante began wiggling and trying to get out of his seat. I stuck a bottle in his mouth to calm him down. Instantly, he began sucking on the nipple like it was his last meal. I smiled, glad that he was happy.

The ride to Water Tower Place was fun. We ate cookies and listened to pop songs. By the time we stopped, I felt good. Despite my worries, I was going to enjoy myself.

"I can't wait to show you everything, Bella. I spent so much time here when I was a teenager. Edward used to flirt with all the girls at the shops… Oops," Ali said, putting her hand over her mouth.

I rolled my eyes. "I know about his past, Alice. It's okay. Where should we go first?"

If I thought Alice was a champion shopper, she had nothing on Di. We went to almost every store on each floor. Dante fell asleep in his luxury pram about an hour into the trip. We all took turns pushing our little prince.

Fortunately, there were guards watching us from all corners. They were mostly inconspicuous, but I recognized them from the Volturi mansion. I didn't doubt that they were armed, too. Shopping with Mafia wives was not the same as it was for regular women. We had to be heavily protected from enemies at all times.

"This would look divine on you," I said, holding up a red dress for Bree.

She blushed and took the hanger. "It is sexy. How much?"

Laughing, I pushed her into an empty dressing room. "Don't worry about it, Bree. I know you have your own account and money that Edward and Carlisle set up for you, but I'd like to buy this as gift to you."

She argued for another five minutes before agreeing to try it on. The dress fit her body like a glove. It wasn't obscene but managed to show off the womanly body that she sometimes hid. I knew that Riley would appreciate my meddling.

"You're a babe," Ali squealed, making Bree stand in front of the mirror.

After three hours of hardcore shopping, Dante was awake and cranky. We tried everything. He didn't need to be changed, he wasn't hungry, his temperature was normal, and there wasn't any discomfort in his stroller, but he kept crying. I didn't want to be a burden to the saleswomen so I took him out of the boutique.

"What's wrong, sweetheart? Mommy is here. You're fine," I cooed, rubbing his little back.

All of a sudden, he stopped screaming and began playing with my hair. Relieved, I laid soft kisses all over his cherubic face. A minute later, one of Edward's men came up and startled me. I took a step back out of fear.

"What's wrong?" I asked, looking behind me.

He nodded to a group of women who were intently watching us. "I'm being cautious. I heard about what happened in Seattle."

I put on my best fake smile. "Thank you. It's better to be safe than sorry."

"If those fucking bitches so much as lay a finger on you, they're dead," my husband growled, taking Dante away from me.

I hugged him, inhaling the signature sinful scent. "What are you doing here? I'm so happy to see you, Edward."

He moved Dante aside so that we could kiss on the lips. I heard some feminine lip smacking a second before heels began clacking. Wearily, I turned around to see the fashion gang stomp away. A tall, dark-haired modelesque woman stared for an extra minute before being pulled away by her friends.

I sighed and looked down at my boots. "How many of them did you sleep with? I'm guessing the tall one."

His face crumpled. "I haven't been with any of those bitches. That woman…she's the sister of the woman my father was with when he was killed. Their family has always believed the Volturi had something to do with her death. They used to be more vocal, but the Uncle took a large sum of money from Marcus to build his store. In return, their family leaves us alone."

I felt sick. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to…. I'm sorry, Edward."

He leaned down and stroked my hair. "It's nothing, babydoll. My past is ugly. I promise I won't let anyone hurt you or D.C."

It turned out that Edward wasn't the only man to show up. My brother and the rest of the guys took the bags to the car while we went to get a table. There was a small argument on where we'd eat. By that point, I was so hungry that I didn't care.

Penny settled it by wheeling Dante into the Mity Nice Grill. A young man, who looked to be around Bree's age, seated us after we told him our party number. We were given a huge table near the back. I liked that the atmosphere wasn't stuffy, and the food looked delicious.

Di sighed dramatically as she perused the menu. "I don't care about my waistline today, ladies. I'm getting the biggest burger on the menu and dessert!"

We all laughed. When the time came to place our orders, all the girls chose their man's dinner. I felt wholly inadequate, because I hadn't a clue of what Edward would want. He'd changed so much in the last few weeks.

I ended up getting soup, burgers, and salad for us. Dante happily clapped his hands as Bree fed him a miniscule piece of bread, his little tongue darting in and out as he ate. Times like these, he melted my heart.

Fifteen minutes later, the guys came back. Alice decided that she needed to sit in her Jazzy's lap and promptly began making out with him. Esme rolled her eyes while gently pulling them apart. Carlisle just chuckled and sipped his beer.

"Newlyweds. You and Edward were like that just a few months ago," Marcus said, taking his seat.

I blushed and looked away. "We were until this little guy came," I answered, wiping some drool off my little lamb's mouth.

Edward took a seat on my right, leaving Dante's high chair between us. I took a picture of him giving our son an Eskimo kiss. That was one of the many reasons why I worked so hard to make our marriage good. My baby boy needed his father as much as he needed me.

Thankfully, Edward loved the food that I'd ordered for him. We took turns feeding Dante some organic tomato soup. I think half of it ended up on his Superman bib, but it was fun watching him try new things. He seemed to like it.

"He's getting so fucking big. I remember when all he could have was breast milk," Edward said, wistfully. I was too happy to criticize him for cursing in front of our son.

Smiling, I kissed Dante's forehead. "I know but that means we're doing good. We want him to get big and strong. Pretty soon, he'll be walking and running."

After dinner, we decided to go to a few more shops. The men took Dante and headed for some electronics store while we went to Betsey Johnson. There were many things I liked in the store, so I wound up purchasing some dresses and colorful purses.

At around ten, we decided to call it a night. The kids were exhausted and there weren't any stores left for Alice to take over. Riley was practically carrying Bree. She still kept her old hours and was up at five most days. We'd all tried to get her to sleep in but nothing worked.

I was headed outside when Esme and Di took the stroller from me. Surprised, I looked up questionably at them. They shared a look and pointed to a silver car. Edward was by the driver's side smirking at me.

"I think your husband wants a little alone time, Miss Bella," Dr. A. teased, hip checking me.

"I can't. Dante needs me to read him a story. It's not right of me to make you all take care of him. He's my responsibility," I whined.

Di and Esme waved me away. "Bella, it's our pleasure to watch DC. We can read to him. Go be with Edward."

Hesitantly, I nodded and kissed my little lamb's forehead. Edward came up and did the same thing. We buckled him into the car seat and watched until the car disappeared from view. Then we went to Edward's car.

"What is this?" I asked, letting him adjust my seat.

He smirked, giving me the full-on Cullen charm. "It's a 1998 Chevy Corvette. I've had it since high school. Do you like it?"

I rubbed my hands on the leather seat. "It's nice. Where are we going?"

"I want to share more of my past with you if you're up for it," he mumbled.

I took his hand, kissing the knuckles. "Always. I love you, honey."

He smiled wide enough to bring out the little dimple in his left cheek. My nipples hardened instantly. Luckily, I was wearing a small leather jacket so Edward couldn't see. I planned on making love to him tonight, but only after we talked.

"Wait here," Edward said, closing my door. It was a cold night. There was a small snowstorm headed into the city later.

When my husband returned, he had a huge waffle cone, cup, spoon, and napkins for me. Giggling like a teenage girl, I took it all from him. He'd remembered my favorite ice cream: chocolate chip mint. Sighing, I took a lick.

"This is sooo good, Edward," I moaned, as he got into the driver's seat.

"I'm happy you like it, babydoll. I should do shit like this more often. We...need to talk. I'm not…treating you the way that I should."

"What's wrong with you? Is it the stress? I don't want you to keep using drugs. You don't have to do the Senate thing. I'll beg Marcus and Caius if I have to.

"Um, Edward, where did you go this morning?" I asked quietly.

Angrily, he pressed down on the gas taking us well over the speed limit. "I went to the fucking Boxing Club. I already told you this. I'm always fucking stressed. Portland didn't go as planned; one of the fuckheads turned on us. Sometimes I just wish I had a normal life."

I reached over and grabbed his arm, trying to give him comfort. "I know but we don't. I'm in this with you until the end, Edward. I went into this with my eyes wide open. I'm sorry for what happened in Portland, but I imagine it is part of your business. Did you…kill someone? I'm not mad if you did."

For a long time, nothing was said. Then, Edward looked at me and snarled. I shrank back from his angry green eyes. If looks could kill, he would have had me dead in a heartbeat. It was another time among many when I truly feared my husband.

He pulled into an empty lot and stopped the engine. The only light was from the moon. I contemplated taking my phone out and calling Jaz, but I chose to trust Edward. He'd been rough with me before but nothing I couldn't handle.

"You should fucking hate me! Have I corrupted you so much, babydoll? We're talking about fucking murder! I end lives. How can you live with me? I disgust myself," he cried, burying his head in his hands.

I took off my seat belt and crawled into his lap. He adjusted his seat so that I'd be more comfortable. I began to unbutton his shirt. He relaxed and placed his hands on my buttocks, slowly kneading the flesh. Warmth and desire pooled low in my belly.

"I could never hate you, Edward. Kiss me," I groaned, looking deep in his emerald orbs.

Languidly, he licked my top and bottom lip before plunging his tongue inside. I sucked the tip, changing the angle so that he could be in the lead. He licked me slowly, delicately, making sure not to give me too much.

"You taste like the ice cream, babydoll. I want to be inside pussy paradise so fucking bad, but I need to show you something first."

It took me a few minutes to understand his words. I was still in the lust fog caused by his long fingers and gifted tongue. Just imagining what we'd do later almost made me come. Blushing, I crawled back into my own seat.

We pulled up to a nice brownstone just as I was finishing my ice cream. Edward fidgeted and played with his hair. It was unlike him to act so nervous. Suddenly, I was frightened.

He cut off the car and opened his door. "This is it, babydoll. This is the place I became a killer, where my father died. I haven't been here in five years. Let's go inside."

After he helped me out, we were buzzed into the lobby. The security person on duty must have known Edward, because he let us in without question. The lobby was tastefully done in soft whites and Roman tiles.

Edward took my hand and led me to the elevator. Then he pressed the fifth floor button and closed his eyes. I stayed close, offering what comfort I could without smothering. I had a feeling things were going to go badly.

"Do you really love me, Bella, even the monster?" he whispered, walking down the hallway. There didn't seem to be any other tenants on this floor.

"I love all of you, Edward. You're not a monster. You're a wonderful husband and father," I stated quietly.

He stopped in front of apartment five-o-nine. "This is it. I killed the motherfucker right here in this hall. Then, I opened the door and found the bitch dead in the living room. My father was in the fucking bedroom dead as hell with the condom still on his dick. At least the bastard used protection," he reminisced, laughing dryly.

I didn't want to follow him into the apartment, but he seemed to need me there. Part of being a wife was about being there for your husband through good times and bad. Lately there was more bad than good, but I wasn't ready to give up.

Inside the apartment was pristine. There were pictures of Edward's father all over the place. They looked so much alike. It made me sad that I'd never met him, but I had a feeling he wouldn't have approved of me anyway.

"That's his urn. Edward Masen Sr. just had to be cremated. Mom respected his wishes. He even controlled her from the grave," he said, pulling out a small sharp blade.

I backed away. "Edward, what the heck are you doing? You're scaring me. Please put the knife away. I want to go home."

He laughed maniacally, advancing on me until my back was pressed against the wall. I was about to scream when his lips crashed down on mine. With all my strength, I tried to push him off. He didn't even budge.

"Show me you love me, Bella. Let me fuck you here amongst death and ruin. You want to be with the Devil, really fucking be with him. Come on," he demanded, trying to unzip my jeans.

"No. Stop! Don't do this, Edward. Get off me," I pleaded, clawing at his face. He was still wielding the weapon.

As a last resort, I punched him hard in the stomach. It hurt my hand but caused him to loosen his grip. I used his momentary paralysis to run to the other side of the room. All the food that I'd eaten earlier was threatening to make a reappearance. I felt icky.

It didn't take long for Edward to come for me again. This time I clocked him in the jaw. He laughed and pushed me against the wall. It hurt, making me whimper.

"Fight back. I want you to fucking hit me, Bella. Fight," he yelled, pulling my hair.

I tried to kick him in the groin, but he blocked my shot. Then when I tried to run, he caught me. I fell on the floor and he quickly rolled on top of me. The fear of what was happening was nothing compared to my anger.

"Stop! Get off! Are you just going to rape me? I'm your wife." By this point, I was hysterical.

He stopped trying to take my clothes off and sat up. "Babydoll…"

I stood up and ran to the elevator. Once I got outside, I waved down the first taxi driver who passed. The driver took off as Edward came running into the street. I wiped my eyes, trying not to cry in front of the stranger.

"Where to, Miss?" he asked, looking at me through the mirror. I gave him the address to the Volturi mansion.

Unfortunately, Edward caught up to us at a red light. He honked and got into the driver's path. There were no cops around. I couldn't put the innocent man in danger. Nervously, I asked him to pull over.

"I'm sorry. That's my husband. He can take me. Here's a twenty for your trouble, Sir. I apologize," I said, stepping out of the taxi.

Edward pulled over to the curb and opened my door. "Babydoll. I'm so sorry."

I pushed him away and sat down. Why did Edward always ruin our good night? He was doing a great job of making me hate him. I already felt the bruises forming on my back, arms, and legs. Was the real Edward a domestic abuser? Is this what I'd gotten myself into?

While he drove, I stared straight ahead. There was nothing left inside of my heart. All I felt was misery and regret. I just wasn't strong enough to save Edward from his demons. If we kept up like this, he was going to drag me down with him.

Instead of taking us home, he drove towards the Chicago River. Watching the boats made me remember the time Edward and I had snuck onto that stranger's boat to have sex. I was still in my early months of pregnancy and so in love. I thought nothing could touch us; boy had I been wrong.

I rolled down the window to let some of the icy air into the overheated car. I still felt slightly sick and Edward's driving wasn't helping my stomach. The night had gone wrong so fast; like Edward, it gave me whiplash.

"Take me home. I don't want to hear your bullshit apologies. You almost raped me. I'm in pain. It's not the first time either. You won't let me inside, so I can't help you. I just want you to stay away. Don't touch me anymore," I sobbed.

He laughed. "I won't. There are plenty of bitches that I can fuck. Hey, maybe I'll start with Anna. I always did love a good long blonde. Gina wants my dick bad, too. How about I give it to her? We can stay married. It'll be just like Esme and Edward all over again."

It was my turn to laugh. "That's why you hired them anyway, isn't it? I was a fool to marry you. Any man who has been with almost a thousand women is a whore! Was this always your plan? You go and continue being the playboy while I raise our child? What happened to _Ti amo_, babydoll? You don't even wear your Tungsten. Do you even know where it is?"

He tugged on his hair. "Fuck! I'm not really going to fuck them or anyone else. I'm also not giving you a fucking divorce. You're mine forever, Bella."

Sighing, I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. "Are you willing to work on our marriage? It can't be over this easily. I admit, I'm jealous of Anna and Gina, but I still trust you. Even after all of this, I love you enough to try."

He sniffled and wiped at his eyes. "I didn't mean any of that shit. I wanted to make you mad enough to hit me. I'll work, babydoll. I promise I'll go back to therapy. I'm so sorry for what happened. I just wanted you to hate the monster. I'm sorry I hurt you."

In my weakness, I let him kiss me and promise me the world. I knew it was all lies. Edward had demons he wasn't even ready to fight. It wouldn't be long before we really had a breakdown. Because I was so in love, I was willing to give him another chance.

We arrived back at the mansion around one in the morning. I checked on Dante, who was sleeping peacefully, and went to run myself a bath. The fight had left me feeling filthy. I no longer believed Edward's boxing story. I had a sinking suspicion that he'd been with another woman.

He walked into the bathroom just as I was lowering myself into the clawfoot tub. I didn't want to use the Jacuzzi because we'd made love in there the other day. As the soapy bubbles surrounded me, I let my mind go completely blank. When I opened my eyes, Edward was kneeling next to me on the floor.

"Babydoll, I know I ruined yet another date. I wanted you to suffer with me. I'm sorry," he explained for the zillionth time.

I closed my eyes again, submerging myself into the lavender scented water. Here, I felt safe. I loved the water. After my parents died, I used to spend hours in the bathtub. Jaz had been worried so he got me a membership to the YMCA pool.

"Why do you keep hurting me, Edward?" I whispered, avoiding eye contact.

"Why do you let me?"

Shaking my head, I sat up and grabbed a sponge. "I truly love you. This isn't you. I keep hoping the old Edward Cullen will come back, but I'm losing faith. I can't help you if you won't help yourself. People say love is pain, but I've had enough pain to last a lifetime. I need some love."

He took the sponge and massaged my shoulders, slowly washing me. "You're so beautiful, Mrs. Cullen. I love you, too. I'm sick, Bella. Don't give up on me just yet."

As he kissed my forehead, I began to cry softly. It was like I was under Edward's spell. He did the most horrible things to me, but I still loved him. I wasn't the strong woman I wanted to be. Instead, I was a doormat. How many times could I let him hurt me and survive?

**_ ~~LAMTAF~~_**

The next two days passed quickly, and by Monday, we were back in Seattle. Edward didn't return with us. He had business to do in Boston with Liam. When we'd parted at the airport, he promised me that we would work on our marriage when he got back. I wanted to believe him, but I didn't. It took a lot of effort just to give him a goodbye kiss.

"Earth to Bella," Maggie teased, waving her hands in front of my face.

The bookstore was busy with students studying for finals. We were making more money than ever. I'd hired a few more staff members for the upcoming holidays. All in all, my business was going great. Jaz said I had a real knack for it.

Bree lifted Dante out of his playpen and sat down. "She miss her husband. Leave her alone, Mags."

I listened to the girls light banter. It wasn't exactly the truth. I was relieved that Edward was gone for a while. I needed time to think. Dr. A. had been very helpful in my latest session. She said I needed to stop letting Edward have all the control in our relationship. She also suggested I tell Cai about the drugs, but I'd begged for her secrecy.

A few minutes later, there was a knock on my office door. I stood up to answer, expecting it to be Jane or one of my sisters. Imagine my surprise when I saw Giles Atwood, my publisher, on the other side.

He smiled, holding out a piping hot mug of hot tea. "Thought I'd come down and talk to you. Is this a bad time?"

Smiling, I waved him inside. Maggie and Bree acted like they'd never seen a handsome man. I'd never seen so much primping and stuttering in my life. To me, Giles was handsome but not in the same way as Edward. His dark coal black hair, soulful blue eyes, and light stubble had probably stopped many a female heart, though.

"Bree, Maggie, would you mind taking Dante in the other room while I talk to Giles?"

"No problem, Bella," they assured me, carrying my little lamb away.

Giles sat down in one of the big leather chairs in front of my desk. "The book is selling briskly. We're so proud of you, Bella."

I blushed. "Thank you. It's been a great experience. Vladimir and his family are coming for Christmas. I'd really like for you to meet them."

He nodded. "I'd like that. Don't think me rude, love, but how are you? You look a little gutted."

"It's nothing. I have a barely six month old baby, a business, and my husband is gone a lot. I have tremendous family and friends support, though. I'll be fine," I lied, shrugging.

He reached across the desk and rubbed my hand. "You can talk to me. I'm your friend."

As delicately as possible, I pulled back. "I know, but it wouldn't be appropriate. I'm supposed to confide in my husband. Thanks for the offer."

He smiled, taking a sip of his drink. "There's nothing wrong with having more than one confidant. I've just ended a bloody bad relationship myself, so I'm not going to make any moves on you. Just know that I'm here, love."

We spent the next hour talking about _Hamlet, _one of my favorite Shakespeare stories. By the time he left, I did feel better. I also felt guilty for letting another man cheer me up. Fortunately, Giles wasn't the flirty type.

The rest of the day was spent with Esme. We went over design plans for the new house. I was all over my head, so I only chimed in occasionally. When she showed me a twenty-thousand dollar sectional that she wanted for the living room, I feigned a headache. Later, Jane drove Dante and I home.

The night progressed as usual. I called Edward but he didn't answer. After I breastfed Dante, he fell asleep in my arms. I kissed him and gently laid him in the bed. Then I turned on his night magic. It consisted of a classical music CD that Edward made for him and a light Mobile that gave the effect of a starry night. Dante loved it, and I liked hearing Edward's fingers tickle the ivory. He never played for me anymore.

Before I went to bed, I decided to call my errant husband. He hadn't contacted me all day. I knew he was fine, but I still needed to hear his voice. A woman picked up on the second ring.

"Um, is Edward Cullen there? It's his wife. Can you put him on?" I asked, worriedly.

There was shuffle and then he spoke. "Why are you calling me now? I was going to leave you a message. Is something wrong with DC?"

I began to sob. "No. I just wanted to hear your voice. We miss you. Who was that woman that answered your phone?"

He took a deep breath. "She's no one. Look, I'm busy, Bella. I love you and Dante. Kiss him for me. I'll be home tomorrow night. We'll do something fun."

"The cuts on your stomach…I didn't say anything before but did you…" I trailed off.

"Fucking hell, Bella! I got into some shit in Portland. I got cut. They're shallow. It's no big deal. I'm busy with Mob shit right now. I love you, babydoll. Go to bed. I'll see you soon."

A little voice in my head told me I was a fool to believe that he wasn't cheating on me. I drowned that noise out and wiped my eyes. Then I went and got Dante. I hated using my baby as a crutch, but I needed to hold him. He was a symbol of me and Edward's intense love for one another, and the source of my only happiness lately.

"Goodnight, little lamb," I whispered, pulling him close.

**_ ~~LAMTAF~~_**

The week flew by at the speed of light. Giles came to visit me again. We ate lunch together while going over my book tour. Jane looked uncomfortable the whole time. I knew she'd have to report it to Edward and he would go off.

Later that night, Alice and Rose came over to help me get dressed. Edward had invited us all for drinks at HADES. Esme and Carlisle were more than happy to watch Dante. Earlier in the day, he had had a play date with baby Sasha which always put him in a good mood.

"Can't read my poker face," Ali sang while curling my hair.

Rose stood in front of the full length mirror, turning around so that she could see all angles of her silver minidress.

"I do not look like a woman that's pushed out two big headed kids. We're going to have guys all over us tonight," she said, preening.

An hour later, we were being led into HADES. I was wearing a ruffled blue silk dress that stopped below the knee. It had a black band to accentuate my waist. In the old days, I could have gone bra-less, but my new C-cup post baby boobs needed a strapless bra. My nails were painted to match the dress. Black suede sandals and a cool black and blue wrist cuff finished the look. Alice had given me eighties dramatic makeup to go with the outfit. Judging from the guys who stopped and wolf-whistled when we walked through, I guessed we looked hot.

"They're playing "Frozen" by Madonna. This is my song," Rose said, dragging us out onto the floor.

She, Alice, and I were soon joined by Maggie and Bree. We danced together to keep guys away, not that any would dare come near with Felix hovering just beyond the dance area. I twirled around, letting the music control my body. Then all of a sudden, I felt a pair of strong hands encircle my waist.

_Edward._

"What the fuck are you wearing? I go out of town and you forget shit," he snarled, taking my hand.

I opened my eyes. "I'm just dancing, Caveward. Lighten up. I haven't seen you in days and you want to argue with me. Typical."

Growling, he hoisted me into his arms. A second later, we were in the elevator headed up to his office. Anna was at her desk flirting with Demetri. I gave him a cold look as we entered the room. I'd never forgive him for how he treated Maggie.

"Bella, don't be like that," he pleaded, holding out his arms.

I looked away. "You hurt, Maggie. She didn't deserve to be treated like shit. How could you?"

For some reason, Anna decided to jump into our conversation. "Some women don't know how to please their man. Can you blame a guy for straying? Men have needs. If the woman they're with can't fulfill them, they'll look elsewhere."

If it hadn't been for Edward's grip on my arm, I might have attacked the bitch.

"If you love someone, you will be faithful to them. It's not about _needs_, it's about true love," I corrected.

She giggled. "Oh my. You're so wonderfully innocent. I can see why Edward loves you."

My husband stepped forward and got into her face. "Mr.-fucking-Cullen to you, remember? Bella is my wife so show some fucking respect. You can go work in D's office tonight. Bella is going to help me."

Anna pouted. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Cullen. I didn't mean to be rude. I'll just be getting out of the way."

Demetri helped her pack. Before they left, I pulled Edward down for a deep kiss. He squeezed my bottom and picked me up so that I could wrap my legs around him. We stayed like that until the door slammed shut.

"You're bad, babydoll," Edward said, chuckling.

I kissed his jawline, contemplating how to get my way. "Please fire her. I'm telling you she's bad news."

He shook his head. "I can handle, Anna. She's all talk and no bite."

Resigned, I let him carry me to the lair. We hadn't been back in weeks. I missed our secret spot. Everything was the same except now we had a bassinet. We had yet to bring Dante here, but I knew it wouldn't be long.

"What do you want to do, babydoll?" Edward asked, laying me down on the black silk duvet.

I stood up and took off all my clothes. Edward did the same. Then we crawled into bed. There was no passion or anything. We both knew where we were headed, but neither of us wanted to acknowledge it.

"Do you…"

I cut him off, already knowing the question. "I don't. I can't trust you anymore, Edward. You hurt me. We're going to need to work on things before we get back to lovemaking."

He screamed into the pillow until his voice went hoarse. "I hate myself for what I've done to you. Hurt me back. Fucking hit me, beat me bloody. I fucking deserve it!"

Sobbing, I pulled him down on top of me so that his head rested over my heart. "I can't hurt you, honey. I tried that before and it almost destroyed both of us. We're broken, but we can be put whole again. I'll try if you will. Please, don't make me regret this."

Edward rubbed his stubbled cheek over my breast and placed my hand in his hair. "Hum to me, like you do for Dante. I'm scared, Bella. Don't let me go."

I began singing softly, letting my fingers massage his scalp. "I'm here, Edward. Just hold me. Just hold me."

After Edward fell asleep, I did something I had sworn I would never do-I rifled through his private things. There were lots of money clips and business cards. Some of them had lipstick stains, which were personal signatures.

In his coat pocket was a card with a naked woman and a whip on the front. There were unused Magnums in the same area. Since I was on birth control, Edward and I never used condoms. As if that wasn't bad enough, there was a message on the back of the card saying 'See you next time, big boy'.

I ran to the bathroom and vomited. I'd barely eaten in the last few days, only consuming enough so I could breastfeed without passing out. It was hard for me to keep food down when my world was falling apart. I thought about talking to my family, but I didn't know where to start.

Fifteen minutes later, I had my phone out and was dialing the number. It went to a voicemail which promised sex and all kinds of debauchery. I knew Edward had cheated on me with another woman. The tears came hard and heavy. The man I had given my heart and soul to had done the one thing I couldn't bear.

When I was finally able to breathe again, I put on a shirt and curled up on the living room couch. Soon after, I fell asleep. Sometime during the night, Edward carried me back to the bedroom. I knew I should have fought or confronted him, but I wanted to live inside of the dream for just a little while longer.

"_Ti amo_, babydoll," he whispered, stroking my hair.

"I love you, too."

* * *

_Bella is in denial. We've all be there. Love is blind. Please review and let me know what you think. I can take constructive criticism. The next chapter will be a smuttake AU set in the 30's. I'll post everything as soon as possible. Review and Dante will come play with you, don't and you get Anna's skanky ass. It's always your choice. Click the green button. I'll be with the Stoli. *Huggles*_


	7. Chapter 6: Hurt

**_A/N: _**_There's not much to say. Some readers have left for good and others for a short time. If you're still with me, thank you. Please keep reviewing and telling me your thoughts. If my fic is making you depressed or hate life, please stop reading. I don't want to be the reason you're crying your eyes out everyday. Huggles to all my twarlings.  
_

_PICTURES, SONGS, ETC ARE ON MY BLOG. LINK ON **PROFILE** PAGE._

**_WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS INFIDELITY AND ADULTERY. DO NOT READ IF THAT IS ONE OF YOUR TRIGGERS._**

**Recs (In my Favorites)-Read & Review**

_"The Late Late Show with Edward Cullen"_** by Chartwilightmom-**Edward is a late night talk show host and Bella is a top actress. Very romantic story of love against the backdrop of the entertainment world. Smooth reading.

_"You Don't Know Anything"_ by **TwiDi-**Bella loses her parents. Desperate to keep her baby brother with her, she tells people that he's her son. Pennyhead Edward is mean at first but soon falls head over heels. Murder mystery too. Great fic.

**Disclaimer:** SM owns all. I'm just a poor wannabe dabbling in her genius.

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_

* * *

**I hurt myself today  
To see if I still feel  
I focus on the pain  
The only thing that's real  
The needle tears a hole  
The old familiar sting  
Try to kill it all away  
But I remember everything  
What have I become  
My sweetest friend  
Everyone I know goes away  
In the end  
And you could have it all  
My empire of dirt  
I will let you down  
I will make you hurt**

Hurt-Johnny Cash

_**EPOV**_

"I don't need this shit, Bella," I yelled, throwing a glass against the wall.

Glaring, she put her small hands on her hips and got up in my face. "You are a selfish bastard! Nothing should keep you away from your son. You may not care about me anymore, but he matters. He's supposed to be your top priority."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, taking a drag of my cigarette. "I fucking said I'll handle everything. Unlike you, I have _important _shit to do. Dante is only six-months-old. He won't care if I'm not at his birthday party. Fuck, he probably won't even remember this shit. Please, get the fuck out of my face and go bother someone else. You've been a real bitch these past couple of days. Are you on the rag?"

Yeah, I knew it was dick move. My anger issues were out of control. My babydoll was the easiest outlet. She let me treat her like garbage and still stayed. It made me feel good to watch her hurt, to know I wasn't alone in this misery shit.

"Am I what?" she asked, glaring at me. "I don't even know who you are anymore, Edward. You only come home to yell at me and change clothes. You don't spend any time with our son. Why don't you get out of_ my_ face and go to one of your bimbos."

Before the sentence was done, I had Bella up against a wall. Her chocolate eyes widened as I lifted her arms over her head, effectively rendering her helpless. She fought like the wild tigress whom I loved, and pretty soon my dick was as hard as granite.

"You want me to fuck you, babydoll. All this shit is due to tension. Give in. We'll both feel better," I murmured, licking her collarbones.

"D-don't touch me, bastard," she stammered, pushing me away.

Laughing, I reached between us and lifted up her skirt. Underneath, she had on a small pair of lace panties. They were easy to rip apart and discard. She trembled in my arms as I breathed in her scent and licked the crotch.

"Mmm, prime pussy, but I think I want your ass," I growled, turning her around roughly.

She kept fighting until I unzipped my pants. Then the most pitiful sound came out of her mouth. It reminded me of a deer my father hit with his Mercedes one day while we were out on a rural road. It had been an accident, but he'd had to shoot the animal. The fucking suffering was far worse than the death.

Sighing, I pulled my pants up and let my babydoll go. When I turned her around, her eyes were red and swollen. She had bruises on her wrists from where I'd held her. At the time, I didn't think I was hurting her too badly. Lately, all I did was cause my angel pain.

"Bella," I whispered, touching her cheek. She flinched away and ran out of the bedroom.

A few minutes later, Jane came to inform me that she was taking Bella and Dante to Emmett and Rosalie's house. The ice in her voice let me know she knew I'd hurt Bella. I nodded, dismissing her quickly.

Deep down, I knew that I was on a fucking path of destruction. Dr. Uley wanted me back in fucking therapy, but I didn't want to do that shit anymore. It all felt so fucking wasteful. No matter what he did, I would still be a goddamn monster.

After I finished my cigarette, I pulled out my phone and dialed a familiar number. It was just another nail in my fucking coffin. My babydoll already hated my sorry ass. One more fuck up wouldn't change anything.

The bitch picked up after the third ring. "What's up, Edward?"

"That's Mr. Cullen to you, Gina. Meet me at the club in an hour. We got some new product, and I feel like getting fucked up," I said, imagining the numbness. "I'm sure we can find time to talk about the campaign, so you can also count it as work."

She was silent for a minute before answering. "I'll be there. You sure your angelic wife Isabella won't mind us _working_ late? She seems a little jealous."

I snarled at the bitch. "Keep my _wife's _name out of your fucking mouth, Gina! Leave your shit at home. I just want to get high, _Capisce_?"

She laughed. The sound made my skin crawl. "I'll play along, Mr. Cullen. See ya soon, baby."

_Let the descent into true Hell begin._

After I hung up, I went to take a long shower. My babydoll's shit was everywhere, reminding me we were really and truly married. I smiled, looking at one of Dante's rubber ducks on the edge of the Jacuzzi tub. Bella was right about everything. I was a fucking failure as father.

The shower helped a little, but I still had a lot of pent up nervous energy. To calm myself down, I snorted a few lines of cocaine. I'd been high most of the time for the last couple of days. The comedown was the reason I'd been so fucking mean to my babydoll.

Deciding I might as well do some good to counteract the bad, I pulled out my Iphone and dialed my angel. She didn't answer the first or second time, so I had to leave voicemails. I was on the third message when she finally picked up.

"What do you want, Edward?" she asked, moodily.

I sat down on the bed. "I want to say I'm sorry, babydoll. I didn't mean to hurt you. It's…just that I miss making love to you. It's not always going to be like this. I promise I'll make it up to you."

She snorted. "You have tried to _rape _me more than once. I know the law might not see it that way because we're married, but when I say no, I mean no! I'm afraid of you, Edward. Something is wrong with your mind. I never know what you're going to do next. I can't have you around Dante if you keep acting this way."

"What the fuck, Bella? You can't take me son away from me," I growled, standing up.

She sighed. "Edward, I'm not taking Dante away from you. I'm just saying that right now, I wouldn't trust you alone with him. You are becoming very violent towards me. I'm a fool to put up with it, but I won't let you hurt our baby. I'm responsible for his protection. I'm… I'm going to stay at Em and Rose's for a few days. I can't be around you right now."

I sat back down. "So you're just going to fucking leave me now? We've been through so much shit, Bella. I know I've been hurting you, but I'll get help. You and Dante belong at home with me. I love you both."

"Edward, I'm not abandoning you. I'm really scared. I haven't told anyone about what's been going on with you, but they've noticed that you're different. Are you still doing… drugs? We can get you help. I won't let you do this alone, honey. We need to sit down and talk. I'll come to your office tomorrow. We're staying here tonight," she stated softly.

I sobbed turning away from the phone, hoping that she couldn't hear me. "I'll be fine. Take care of Dante.

"We'll plan his birthday thing together. I'm sorry for fucking blowing you off earlier. Bella, I need you more than you know."

"I need you, too, but not like this," she cried. "Don't' make me regret it, Edward. I'm going to try, but you have to give me something. Is the man I love still in there?"

I nodded, even though no one was here to see me, and it was a fucking lie. "I'm here, babydoll. I'll see you tomorrow. Please kiss Dante for me."

By the time the call ended, the cocaine was thick in my blood. I felt invincible, like I could take on the world. This was the feeling that I craved. The euphoria of the high was enough to keep any motherfucker coming back for more.

I ended up choosing a pair of black slacks, a white button down shirt, and a black leather jacket with zippers. For shoes, I went with a pair of new black Nikes. Then I stood in the mirror and tried to tame my evil fucking hair to no avail; only my babydoll could make it look good, and she wasn't home.

Sighing, I grabbed my keys and headed to the garage. My Phantom was being detailed, so I was driving a red Maserati. It was a gift from one of the Boston Dons, and the shit was bulletproof. The car was also morbid because Tanya, rest her soul, had been the only women I'd ever fucked inside of it.

Minutes later, I was on the open road, blasting some old school Nas. I kept the tinted windows up so I wouldn't have to deal with bullshit, but I still got a lot of stares. Revving the engine, I made it to HADES in record time.

After I was parked, Felix came to give me an update. Shit was going well for the night. The bitches were acting right for once, and there weren't any problems with shipments. It was a goddamn miracle in my line of work.

"Boss, how's Bella? Chelsea and I have been meaning to take her up on that dinner invitation. Uh, you know Gina is in your office," he said uncomfortably.

"Bella is fine. Gina and I are working on the fucking campaign. Mind your own business, Felix. Remember who you work for," I snapped, stepping out of the elevator.

Before I got over the threshold, Felix grabbed my upper arm. "I know who and what I work for, Edward. Part of my job is to give you advice. I see shades of the old EC, and I don't like it. I'll go over you if I have to and warn your Godfathers. Bella and Dante are innocent, and you shouldn't hurt them. They've already been through enough."

I took a deep breath and turned to him. "I'll take care of my family. You should worry about your own life. Go downstairs and keep shit nice. My business is my business."

He let me go and pressed the down button. "She's too good for you. You're going to regret losing her, Mr. Cullen. Mark my words. One day, you'll wish you had chosen another road. I won't say anymore _unless_ you hurt her."

"Fuck off," I mumbled, giving him the finger and stepping out of the elevator.

When I got to the office area, I stopped to look at the desk that Bella used to work from. I was so high that I could actually see her there in that sexy ass black skirt and green sweater. I'd been so fucking mean to her that first day, and all this time later, shit still hadn't changed.

_I don't deserve her._

Before long, Gina came out to join me. She was wearing painted on dark jeans and a slinky black top. Today's feather was red and her makeup was heavy. She wore the type of cloying perfume that I hated. It was nothing like my babydoll's sweet and peaceful scents.

"What's with all the different fucking feathers?" I asked, eyeing her disgustedly.

She simpered, swaying her hips as she walked to me. They mean different things. The red one is for passion."

Snarling, I pulled her to my chest. "You work for me and we get high together. We're not even friends, _Capisce?_ Don't make a fool of yourself, Gina."

She threw her head back and laughed. "You're funny, Cullen. I'm not the one getting high behind my spouse's back. All my passion is for Demetri tonight. He'll want to fuck me when he finishes work."

A few minutes later, we were sitting at my desk getting fucked up. Cocaine wasn't enough for me, so I had Gina prepare a needle. Surprisingly, she balked and backed away from me. I had to ask twice before she got her ass in motion.

"Fuck, Gina. I know you know how to prepare a fucking needle. What's the problem?"

She nodded. "I've had a lot of friends die from HIV and overdoses. I don't mess with heroin. It scares me."

I took off my shoes and socks, finding the vein between my toes. It was a good spot to shoot up because no one was likely to see a track there. I'd known motherfuckers who injected in their cock area but that shit wasn't for me.

"I use fresh needles and the Volturi shit is always pure. It's tested before I touch it. I hate you fucking drug snobs. You'll snort a whole boatload of cocaine but won't use the needle. It's all chemicals which fuck up the brain," I groused, rolling my eyes.

The last time I'd used heroin was when I thought Bella and Dante were dead and tried to overdose. They were with me, and I still needed the fucking drugs to cope with life. The whole situation was very fucked up on my part.

As the needle punctured my skin, I thought about Bella and Dante. I was glad they couldn't see me fucked up. I apologized to them and sat back to let the drugs flow through my veins. It didn't take long for the euphoric feeling to hit me.

"Fuck! That's some good shit," I yelled, laughing as Gina took another hit of coke.

She got up to pour us some Scotch while I took out the campaign materials. Heroin made everything sharper for me, and I was able to put down some ideas fast. Then I made a list of things I needed Gina to do before the election.

"Um, you have a very unique way of speaking, Edward. Are you sure you want to do this many public speeches?" she asked, hesitantly.

I crossed my arms behind my head and glared. "I have degrees from two Ivy league schools. I fucking know how to speak intellectually. In my world, that's not important, but I can turn it on if I need to get a more coherent message across. Book me on Channel Six. I've slept with all the local media bitches and they fucking hate me; but Channel Six is a newer station."

Gina stopped writing and looked up at me. "You've been with a lot of chicks. Why did you settle down? You don't seem to be happy."

"I love Bella and our son. I'm not happy because I won't let myself be happy. It has nothing to do with them. They're too good for me. None of the bitches I fucked hold a candle to my babydoll," I answered, shrugging.

"You have a strange way of showing love, Edward. I fuck a lot of married guys, but they choose it. I figure if it wasn't me, it would be some other broad. I'm as good as any," she slurred, putting down the Ipad.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

A few hours later, we were both lying across the couch where I'd given Bella her first orgasm. I couldn't stand to see Gina there, so I put some throws and pillows on the floor for us. The drugs had done their thing and the comedown was making me tired.

Gina rolled onto her side and unbuttoned her top, leaving her tits free. I took a peak and looked away. They were nothing like my babydoll's perfect globes. Gina didn't smell like sunshine and baby's milk.

_It's all wrong. Fuck! She Is all wrong._

"Aren't you going to touch me, Edward?" she asked as she unbuckled my pants.

I stilled her hand. "You're playing in dangerous territory. Back the fuck off."

Laughing, she pulled my cock out of my boxers. I was hard from the drugs and thinking of Bella. In my heart, I knew I should have stood up and ended it before it began, but I let her go further. My babydoll hated my guts, so one handjob wasn't going to change shit.

Gina's talons dug into balls as she pumped me. It fucking hurt, but the pain did a lot to clear my head. I looked away and played with a corner of the blanket as she murmured words in my ear. By then, I was too fucked up to really give a shit.

"I knew I'd get you, Cullen. All of you married men are the same. You want a nice sweet wife at home to take care of your children, but you want to fuck a woman like me."

I squeezed her wrist roughly, holding her in place. "No talking. You're the one fucking me, bitch. Don't talk about my family, or I'll cut your fucking tongue out."

She stopped and looked deep in my eyes. "You really are the Devil."

After I came, I stood up and went into the bathroom. I couldn't use the lair because I didn't want Gina to know about it. I felt sick and ended up vomiting four times in quick succession. I'd crossed a major fucking line, and my marriage was never going to be the same.

The man in the mirror didn't look like me. He had crazy green eyes and wild reddish-gold hair. His face was pale and withdrawn, accentuating the stubble on his jaw. He looked like death warmed over. I hated the man in the mirror.

When I got back to my office, Gina was gone. There was a note on my desk with a lipstick stain. I tore it up and threw it away. I didn't love the bitch, and she didn't love me. As the high wore off I began to cry.

"What have I done? What the fuck have I done?" I asked aloud, going into the lair. Since Gina was gone, I locked the main office door. Anne wasn't working...she was sick with the winter flu.

Once inside, I went to the bedroom and laid down. The Bella doll I'd had made was on my nightstand. I took it out of the glass and put it over my chest. Then I turned over and fell into a fucking nightmare.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

The next day, I somehow managed to drag my pathetic ass out of bed. I felt like I'd been hit by a truck. Right then and there, I vowed to stay away from the smack. It left me feeling worse than coke.

After showering and getting dressed, I drove over to my main downtown office and caught up on stock figures and politics. Before long, I was bored and itching to see my babydoll. She texted me to let me know both she and Dante were on their way. Jane also called to inform me she wasn't far behind.

Half an hour later, my wife and son walked through the door. Bella was wearing a strapless blue dress which clung to all her curves. Her long hair was pinned up to the top of her head with a few free strands. She even had on platform heels.

"You look beautiful, babydoll," I said, leering like an animal.

She smiled and handed DC to me. He squealed and wrapped his fat little arms around my neck. Something in my cold dead heart moved, making me feel even guiltier for what I'd done with Gina.

"He missed you, Edward," Bella whispered, looking at us lovingly.

I kissed my son's forehead and rocked him in my arms. "I'm so sorry, Dante. Daddy has to do better. You and your mom are the best things in my life."

He smiled, put his thumb in his mouth, and began dozing. Before long, he was snoring lightly. My babydoll took him away from me and carefully placed him in his baby carrier. Then she turned on the music it played and sat it on a chair. My son looked so beautiful and peaceful.

"Bella, I'm sorry. In Chicago…I went to this place. I had to feel the pain. I'm sorry."

She reached across the table and took my hands. "Edward, what did you do? Please, tell me everything."

Groaning, I kissed the back of Bella's hand and began to tell her everything. We talked about the Portland shooting, my visit to a BDSM club in Chicago, and my Godfather's warning. I did not tell my babydoll about the shit with Gina, though.

By the time I finished speaking, Bella looked lost in thought. She tucked the blankets around DC and fidgeted, occasionally biting down on her juicy bottom lip. I squirmed in my seat, trying to hold my temper inside. The fucking silence pissed me off.

"Fucking say something," I seethed, rocking back and forth in my chair.

She opened and closed her mouth several times before speaking. "Edward, I don't understand why you needed someone to hurt you. I can't stand to see you in pain. I think…we should talk to Emmett about getting you a mental health evaluation."

_Bella thinks I'm fucking crazy. Great. _

"Fuck that shit, babydoll. I'm not a fucking nutjob. I'll do better. Give me time," I begged.

My babydoll nodded, squeezing my fingers. "If you'll agree to go back to Dr. Uley and come to marriage counseling with me, I'll work with you. Honesty, I'm scared about what you just told me. The cutting has to stop, Edward. You might as well cut me. Your pain is my pain."

I looked down at our clasped hands while I tried to keep the churning in my stomach to a minimum. "About the sexual shit. I'm truly sorry, Bella. It won't happen again. I hate myself for what I've done to you. I would have castrated any motherfucker who tried that shit, yet I did it over and over again. Please, don't hate me."

"Edward, I love you, but the almost rapes were frightening. I'm a small woman and you're a big man. When you…tried to force yourself onto me, my heart would start beating out of my chest. I need to be healthy for Dante. He needs me. I can't live like this. You have to change or it's over," she confessed, unclasping our hands.

I walked over and knelt in front of her. "Babydoll, I'll change. I can't live without you and D.C."

Bella placed her tiny hand on my chin and closed her eyes. "I've loved you from that first day at HADES. I'll always love you, but I won't stay if things get worse. Are you sure you've told me everything?"

It fucking hurt to lie, but I had to do it. "That's it, Bella. I'm ashamed of what I did. The bitch that tortured me was naked, but I swear that I didn't touch her. It was about pain and making me hurt."

After our talk, I decided to spend the rest of the day with my family, so I drove Bella and Dante out to the dream mansion. Construction was due to be finished by Christmas Eve. Esme had spent an exhausting amount of time picking Bella's brain and getting every detail right. It was costing a fucking fortune, but I wanted the best for my babydoll.

"The ocean air makes me happy," Bella mused, rolling down her window.

Dante, who was sleeping in his car seat, began to whine. Instinctively, Bella reached back and plopped a fucking bottle in his mouth. He clutched it in his fat hands and went back to sleep. It always amazed me how easily my wife took to motherhood.

"You're doing an amazing job with DC, babydoll. I'm sorry I've been M.I.A. I'll do better," I promised.

She smiled at me. "I have some new pictures of him for you. Alice is getting her line ready for the show next week. We were fooling around in the studio, and one of her photographers fell in love with Dante. She took pictures of him in the buff with just a Santa hat. He looks adorable, Edward."

I accelerated, pulling into the paved driveway. "I want to see them later. He's getting so damn big."

After we parked and put Dante in a Baby Bjorn, which I wore, I took Bella for a walk around the property. It was huge, and we would have a nice view of the Ocean and the Olympic Mountains. It was the perfect place to raise kids and build a family.

The construction foreman came out to greet us. He looked at my babydoll's tits a little too long for my liking. I wrapped my arm around her waist, letting the fucker know that she was off limits. I was wearing my ankle holster, too, so he would have been wise to back the fuck away.

When we got to the left field, my babydoll gasped and dropped to her knees. I'd had a whole field of sunflowers planted for her. They were now in full bloom. Even for a monster like me, it was a nice sight.

"Thank you, Edward. I love this," she sobbed, pulling me along.

Dante woke up, so we maneuvered him so that he faced front. He was wearing jeans and a puffy blue jacket with mittens. I convinced Bella to let him take the gloves off. She was a little fucking obsessive about his temperature, but it wasn't that cold yet.

After awhile, Bella freed Dante and carried him from flower to flower. She was so fucking happy, humming and stopping to sniff each sunflower. Before long, I was under her spell, following her around like a fucking puppy dog. The Gina shit was on the tip of my tongue.

"Bella," I hedged, not meeting her eyes. "I…"

She put her fingers over my lips. "Shhh, let's stay perfect a little longer, Edward. I swore that I would give Dante a great first Christmas. Things aren't great between us, but please let him have that. Don't ruin it just yet."

Dante began rubbing his head against her chest and making nondescript baby sounds. Like a pro, Bella popped her tit out and stuck it in his mouth. Thankfully, we were deep enough in the field so that the tall flowers hid our silhouettes.

I sighed and looked up at the blue clear sky and bright sun. Days like today made it seem like there was nothing but fucking good in the world. With the drugs out of my system, I felt much better. It helped just to be near Bella. She was really an angel, but my demons were too deep. I knew that sooner or later, I would ruin her perfect moments.

"Anything for you, babydoll. Today is ours," I said, taking her offered hand.

* * *

_It will get worse from here. Bella and Edward are just glossing over problems. The next chapter is longer and it will be Christmas. I'm going to do some pictures and stuff. I'll be with the Stoli. Review and get Dante hugs. Don't review and you get Gina's talons. It's always your choice. Huggles._


	8. Chapter 7:The Way That I Love You Part 1

**_A/N: _**_Happy Mother's Day, readers! I planned to get this up earlier but it was a hectic day. I hope you got everything you wanted. This chapter doesn't have infidelity. There are lemons. Bella is being stupid and so is Edward .Dante is being cute. I encourage people that can't handle the story to read something else. I won't be offended. Please review to let me know what you and pictures are here._

_Shoutouts to my twarlings: **Stef, Giulia, Purpling, TwiDi, Ab, Viv, Lo, Ash, Cheryl, Char**, and all the rest. Come play with me, Donward, or Babydoll on Twitter.  
_

_**SONGS, PICTURES, ETC ARE ON THE BLOG. LINK IS ON MY PROFILE PAGE. **Go play around._

**Recs: (All in my Favorites)**

_**Too Little, Too Late** by CapitalAb-Edward fucked up and left Bella to take care of their son Seth. Now he wants to do right and win his family. Will he do it?_

_**All The Colors of My Heart **by Lo21-Edward and Bella meet and get hot and heavy fast. Is it true love or just lust?_

_**A Start to Forever **by LittleMissInnocence-Edward and Bella re a young couple with two small children trying to manage a hectic life. Daddyward._

_**Squeeze My Lemon **by DirtyCheekyMonkeys-I wrote a Dark Faery Edward one shot for **Chapter 26. **Bella is an older woman & Edward's boss. He is an Irish faery sent to make her happy, but there's a catch. Please read and leave your review there. Add them to your favorites. I feel so lucky to be able to write for the wonderful ladies that run DCM. _

**Disclaimer:** SM owns virginal Edward. I own the Edward that stops by for quickie licks. _  
_

* * *

**After all of the times that we tried,  
I found out we were living a lie  
And after all of this love that we made,  
I know now you don't love me the same  
The way that I love  
(The way that I love you)  
The way that I love  
(The way that I love you)  
The way that I love  
(The way that I love you)  
I woke up kinda early today, and something told me from **

**that moment it wouldn't be the same  
Felt like you were hidin' something, but I didn't push it,  
I didn't complain or say nothing  
I tried to act like I didn't see it,  
'cause deep down I know I didn't wanna believe it..**

The Way That I Love You-Ashanti

**BPOV**

I woke up with Edward's long fingers buried deep inside of my pussy. It had been a few weeks since we had any kind of sexual activity. After our talk, things had gotten somewhat better, but we were a long way away from the good times.

As he stroked my slick flesh, I fought a private war with myself. A part of me really just wanted to get off, but mostly I felt repulsed by Edward's touch. He was no longer the man whom had free reign over my body.

"Stop," I whispered groggily, pushing his big hand away.

Instead of cooperating, he nibbled on my earlobe and began rubbing faster. Ashamedly, I cried out for him. While I came undone, he moved his lips to my shoulder, licking and sucking on the delicate skin like a leech. I gripped his arm to hold him in place.

"Don't fight this, babydoll," he mumbled, pinching my clitoris. After that, I didn't care about anything but the euphoric feeling and tremors that ravaged me. I hadn't realized how much sexual energy I had pent up inside.

As I let myself ride the waves, I felt Edward's erection pressing forcefully against my backside. He wanted me just as badly as I wanted him. Well, maybe not me per se, but he craved the sex.

I was catching my breath when he turned me over and inserted his muscular leg between my knees. I'd only worn a small t-shirt and panties to bed, so I was now bare. I figured Edward must have shed my underwear sometime during the night.

Looking deeply in my eyes, he lifted my The Kills concert shirt and tossed it on the floor. "Tell me to stop and I will, babydoll. I'm not going to hurt you anymore," he promised, kissing the lower swell of my breast.

Hearing him say those words slaughtered any sexual lust I had been feeling. Edward always hurt me. Always. I knew I was a fool to stay after all the things he had pulled lately, but there was no reason for him to lie straight to my face.

"Stop! I don't want to have sex. I can't trust you, Edward. We can't just go back to what we had," I snapped, sitting up.

He glared at me as I retrieved my t-shirt and angrily marched to the bathroom. A few seconds later, he was pounding on the door begging to be let inside. I put on some classical Christmas music and ignored him. Pretty soon things got quiet, and I stepped into a hot shower.

Where had it all gone wrong? We used to be so happy together. While I bathed, I reminisced on our early relationship. Edward was always scary, but I knew he loved me. No other woman ever caught his eye, which used to make me feel special. We'd had our ups and downs, but our love won in the end...or so I thought it had.

"You used to touch me so gently," I whispered aloud, while washing between my thighs. "You used to love me, Edward."

After showering, I wrapped a towel around myself and walked back to the room. Edward was still in bed staring off into space. His green eyes appeared to be so dark and haunted. I wanted to uncover all of his secrets, but I knew he wouldn't share them.

With tears in my eyes, I walked over to the closet and pulled out some clothes. I could feel Edward's intense gaze on me. My plan was to go back to the bathroom and change before getting Dante ready for the day.

As I was looking for a pair of jeans, Edward walked up behind me. "Bella, I know I haven't taken care of you the way I should have... and I'm really fucking sorry for hurting you. I need you and DC so much. Without you, I'm in the flames of hell all day, every day. Please don't leave me."

I closed my eyes and turned to him. "Edward, I'm so scared. You're not acting right. What can I do? I want to help you, honey. I miss us. I thought what we built would be harder to break than this. We're barely at the year mark of our marriage and the foundation is already crumbling."

He dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around my waist. I reached down to stroke his hair as he sobbed. My heart felt like it was breaking. For a few moments, the world stopped. The only thing I was aware of was the pure and utter sorrow in the room.

" _Sei la mia anima gemella,""_ Edward murmured quietly.

I smiled because I knew that particular Italian phrase. He'd said it to me many times before. "You're my soulmate, too, Edward.

Because I so desperately wanted the old Edward and Bella back, I dropped my robe and got down my knees. Edward pulled back and stared at me. He was wearing a pair of blue boxer briefs-the only barrier between us.

I watched raptly as his shaft swelled. Growling low in his throat, he stalked forward like an angry tiger. I laid down and held my arms open for him. The darkness and pain in his eyes was gone and in its place was lust and affection.

"I don't deserve you, babydoll.

I cupped h is cheek as he laid on top of me. "We deserve to be together. We almost died for it, Edward. I love you."

He licked my bottom lip, biting down on it gently. "_Ti amo_, Bella Cullen. I'll love you forever. No matter what happens...please know that I love you. You alone have my heart."

As I digested his words, Edward licked his way in to my mouth and kissed me heartily. My insiders were burning and craving his touch. Luckily he didn't make me wait. I opened my legs wide as one of his big fingers probed my entrance.

"You're so fucking wet, babydoll. Is it all for me?" he asked.

I nibbled on his top lip, pulling him closer. "It's always for you. There's never going to be anyone else."

He snarled, sinking his teeth into the underside of my left breast. "There…better…not be! You're mine, Bella. Always mine."

Not giving me time to register the pain, he plunged in to me with one mighty thrust. I cried out and scratched my nails down his back. We'd gone a few weeks without sex, so my body wasn't as used to the onslaught of his girth.

"Ungh! Edward…Please…"

He cupped my buttocks, lifting me so he could go balls deep. I felt him in ever single cell, and it was amazing! Wrapping my arms around his neck, I held on for dear life. Then I let my mind go blank. Nothing else mattered while we were joined.

"Shit, babydoll. It's always so good. I…can't…much longer. Come for me," he demanded, rubbing my rosebud gently.

I shuddered and shook as he began pounding. "Put it there, Edward. I want to feel you in both places."

He stopped to look down at me. "You're still my bad little tigress, huh? You want to feel me in your ass while I destroy your pussy. Fucking say it, babydoll!"

I pulled his hair, licking his strong jaw. Then in my best babyish voice I said, "I want you to feel you in my tight little ass while you destroy my pussy, Mr. Cullen."

My husband went mad. He used his thumb to gather some of my wetness and began pushing it in to my rosebud. I came again, this time squeezing his balls in the process. He hissed and pushed my hand away.

"Fucking hell! This is what happens when we go a long time without fucking. You're going to kill me, babydoll," he yelled, panting like he had just ran a marathon.

Using the last of my strength, I rolled on top and started slamming my pussy down on his dick. He felt huge inside of me, and his finger up my ass only made me tighter. As he struggled to hold on, I rolled my hips and fondled on his nuts.

"Oh, fuck me, Bella," he grunted loudly.

I giggled and placed my hands on his rock hard chest. "I think that's what I'm doing."

All of a sudden, Edward pushed his finger farther up my ass and squeezed my breast. I felt myself clench him hard and was rewarded with his cry of release. His pleasure triggered my own, causing me to collapse onto his chest.

He came for a long time, filling me up so thoroughly his seed began to leak down my thighs. All I could do was lie on his chest and listen to his thundering heartbeat. We had reaffirmed our love and need for one another on the floor of our walk-in closet. It felt good.

"Next time I want to come in your ass," Edward said, massaging my back.

I smiled and kissed my name over his heart. "Next time I'll let you, big boy. Being here is great and all, but our baby will be up soon."

He groaned as I disconnected and sat up. "Fuck, Bella. I think we just made another kid."

Laughing, I kissed his heated nose and cheeks. "I'm on Depo, Edward. There aren't going to be any more surprise babies for us."

In typical Edward Cullen fashion, he smirked and smacked my butt. "All that birth control shit is no match for my seed. You might as well stop using it. You'll be pregnant again in a few months."

Shocked, I stared wide eyed as he walked to the bathroom. He went slowly, flexing his muscular ass because he knew I was looking.

Did Edward really believe we would have more kids so soon? I knew it was no use arguing with him about how we conceived Dante, but was he right? Maybe my eggs did really like his sperm and no prevention would keep me from having more babies. _Yikes!_

Thankfully, the sound of Dante crying on the baby monitor brought me out of my musings. One baby was more than enough for me. I vowed to diligently take my birth control and start using spermicide to be extra safe. My little lamb would just have to wait a few years for siblings.

After putting on my robe, I went to the nursery. Dante was sitting up in his bed playing with a soft block. The minute he saw me, his face lit up. I lifted him into my arms, giving him the Eskimo kiss he so desperately wanted.

"Look at you, you handsome baby. Mommy is so happy you're awake," I cooed, cuddling him closely.

He squealed and buried his head in my neck. No matter how bad my day was going, Dante always managed to make me feel purely happy. He was the sweetest and most loving baby in the world. I often thanked God for giving me such a gift.

"You're being a little angel, Dante, but your diaper is evil. Let's get you changed."

A few minutes later, he was fresh and clean. I untied my robe and sat down in a rocking chair. Then I helped him latch onto my breast, not that he ever needed much help.

As Dante's soft little lips pulled from my breasts, I sang "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star"_, _which was one of his favorites. While I sang, I marveled at how soft his skin felt and how big he had grown. The little baby I'd almost died to protect was six-months-old.

I was on the last notes of the song when Edward joined us. Quietly, he sat on the floor and rubbed my knee as I rocked our little blessing. The day became one of my happy moments to file away for when things got bad again. There was so much love in the nursery. I began to cry, which made Dante cry, too.

"Shhh, little man. Daddy is here," Edward said, kissing Dante's hand.

My little darling looked down and unlatched. Smiling, I handed him to his daddy. They looked so beautiful together. Edward stared at our son reverently and kissed his little forehead. My heart, which had been broken an hour ago, was completely healed.

Like a good father, Edward agreed to watch my little lamb so I could clean up and get dressed. It was going to be a busy day, so I wanted to be comfortable. For that reason, I chose a pair of black jeans and a blue hoodie. Then I put my hair in a ponytail and applied lip gloss.

By the time I finished, Edward had made omelets and coffee. He was feeding Dante hot cereal when I walked into the room, or more like Dante was feeding Edward's shirt hot cereal. I giggled as my husband tried to get the food to stay in our baby's mouth.

"What the hell, son? You like this shit, don't you? It has to get into your belly so you can grow."

I laughed out loud, alerting them to my presence. Edward just shrugged and used the bib to wipe Dante's mouth. They were both a mess, and Dante's middle finger was up.

"Language, Edward! I swear, he's going to have a potty mouth just like you."

My husband winked. "You didn't seem to mind my 'potty mouth' earlier, Bella."

Blushing, I turned around and fixed out plates. Then I put Dante in his high chair sowe could eat. My little lamb babbled all throughout breakfast, probably telling us about a dream or something. I just wished we could decipher the things babies said.

After breakfast, Jane came upstairs to help get us ready. She put my little lamb in his car seat while I packed all of our bags. Tonight was Edward's big Senate campaign dinner at the Ritz Carlton. I was both excited and nervous.

"So you'll pick me up at Alice's boutique at six?" I asked, kissing Edward's cheek.

He grinned and hugged me. "Yeah, I'll be there. I have shit all day and a meeting with Dr. Uley at three. I'll call or text you throughout the day. I love you, Mrs. Cullen."

I stood on my tiptoes so I could kiss him back properly."I love you, too, Mr. Cullen."

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

Half an hour later, Jane pulled up to my bookstore. It was finals week so the place was always packed from opening until closing. Jane parked in our private space in the back. It required a special key fob to get through the gate and only family and close friends had one.

I had noticed Giles' motorcycle as we rode past the front entrance. He and I were supposed to work on the plans for my upcoming book tour. I planned to schedule the stops so I never had to spend too much time away from home. My travel plans also had to accommodate Dante. I wasn't comfortable leaving my little lamb for long periods of time yet.

A few minutes later, we were in my office. I laid Dante in his Play Yard in the nursery room and turned on the piano music mix Edward had made for us. A few minutes later, I heard soft snoring, letting me know my angel was asleep. Carlisle said the more babies slept, the more they grew; so I wasn't worried.

"Sleep tight, little lamb," I whispered, closing the door.

"You're glowing, Bella," Angela gushed, stepping into the office.

I walked over to give her a hug and kiss. "I knew there was a reason I missed you."

"I'm surprised you even remember my name now that you have this masterpiece," she teased, looking over at my little lamb's door.

By the time Bree brought our tea, we were in a good mood. The café section of the store had a Christmas-themed menu going for the next two weeks, and I couldn't get enough of the gingerbread cookies.

"Do you remember our crummy dorm room at UW, Bella? Now look at you. You're probably one of the wealthiest women in Washington. Edward has been good for you."

I smiled and dipped my cookie into the tea. "It's not about the money, though. I'd love him if he had nothing. He's my soulmate, Angela. And yes, I remember our tiny dorm room with the one closet. How did we ever make it?"

"Good thing neither of us was into fashion," Angela said giggling.

"I can't believe we're both married, and you have a baby! At one point, I thought you'd stay a virgin forever," she confessed.

"Hey, I wasn't that pitiful."

She rolled her eyes. "You barely looked at men, and you were oblivious to all the guys who hit on you. Some of Ben's friends used to ask if you were a lesbian."

My jaw dropped. "Really? It's just always been more difficult for me to play the girly flirt. With Edward, I never had to because he takes what he wants."

Angela nodded, sipping on her drink. "I can tell. He's a little…intense. I hope you don't mind me saying that." I shook my head. "It's just…he's downright frightening at times. But then I see him with you and Dante and he's so sweet. He loves you very much."

I nodded. "He can be great, but there are times when I fear him. Lately he's been acting different. We're working on it, but I don't know if we're going to make it. I have to put my safety and our son first."

"What are you saying? Does Edward hit you? You don't have to take that! You can come live with us," Angela declared, standing up.

"Shhh, keep your voice down, Ang. It's nothing too bad. He's just been a little rougher with me. He's going through some things. I'm not going to leave him. Please don't say anything. I only told you because I needed to get it off my chest."

She reached forward and grabbed my hands. "We've been friends since we were seven, Bella. I know Edward is powerful, but if you need Ben and I to help just say the word."

"I'll be fine, Ang. Thanks for the talk."

After Angela left, Giles came into the office. He looked funny trying to juggle his laptop bag, a bagel, and a cup of tea. I stood up to help him so he wouldn't make a mess.

"Thanks, love. I probably should have planned that better. You guys sell the best Lox bagel around. I couldn't resist it and a mug of your finest Earl Grey. Are you ready to get to work?"

"I sure am. I spent last night going over the cities you listed. I think it's a good idea to keep the tour on the West coast for now. I don't want to take Dante too far away. Plus the further I go, the more security my husband will want for us," I admitted, shyly.

Giles studied me a moment before replying. "You're a beautiful woman, Bella. If you were mine, I wouldn't let you go far without security either. I understand your husband's motives."

I blushed and looked away. Giles thought I was beautiful? I already believed it was miracle for a man like Edward to find me attractive. Like my husband, Giles was intelligent, well read, rich, handsome, and powerful.

"Giles…" I began.

He held up a hand, effectively cutting me off. "I'm just being honest, Bella. Natural beauty like yours should be acknowledged and worshiped. Now what were you saying about cities."

For the next two hours, we discussed my book sales, the tour, and books that we both enjoyed. Giles' tastes were similar to my own. His upper crust British accent was also very adorable. I giggled and blushed repeatedly.

We were arguing about _Great Expectations_ when my office door opened. I didn't even have to look up to know who it was, because we were always so in tune with each other's bodies. My husband had arrived and by the looks of it, he was angry.

"Edward, uh, Giles and I were having a private meeting. If you want to wait outside…"

Ignoring my rambling, he stalked over to the desk and pulled me into his arms, Then, he ravaged my mouth, burying one hand in my hair while the other kneaded my ass. I knew I should have been embarrassed of what we were doing in front of my publisher, but Edward's kisses had a way of making me forget common decency.

I was still reeling when he pulled away and turned to Giles. "I'm Edward Cullen, Bella's husband. I take it you're Giles Atwood."

My publisher nodded and held out his hand. Edward smirked and sat down in my chair, dragging me along with him. I began to get embarrassed by the way he was acting. I was almost expecting him to piss on my leg to show his dominance.

Giles glared and sat back down. "Bella has told me a lot about you. We were just going over her book tour."

Edward wrapped both of his arms around my waist, making it impossible for me to stand. "Is that what you British motherfuckers call it? It sounded a lot like you were flirting with _my_ wife. Why the fuck have you been in here with her alone for so long? The door should have been open."

"Stop it, Edward!" I yelled, trying to break free from his iron grip.

Giles laughed and began gathering his bags. "It's okay, Bella. I understand. I'm leaving for London tonight. We'll catch up after the holidays."

Edward growled. "She's Mrs. Cullen to you, asshole."

"Ignore him, Giles. I look forward to talking with you more. Email me when you get a chance. I'm sorry for my husband's behavior, but he's a caveman. Have a safe flight."

Giles promised to get in touch before leaving. My whole body trembled with anger. Edward had been nothing but rude. I hated the skanks he worked with, but I would never have marched into his office and acted like a territorial animal. I turned around ready to fight, but he just stared coldly at me.

"Why did you do that, Edward? Why are you even here? I'm a grown woman and I can…"

He pounded his fist on the table. "What were you doing? You smell like him, Bella. Did you two fuck?"

I threw my hands in the air. "Whoa! You can't honestly think I'm cheating on you. I would never do that, and especially not with my baby on the other side of a door. Are you crazy, Edward?"

He stood up and kicked over my waste basket. "I'm not fucking crazy! Take off your clothes. I want to see for myself."

My eyes widened. "What?! Edward, you need to go now. You're scaring me again."

He stopped pacing and picked up his mess. "Bella, I'm sorry. When I called Jane to check up on you and she said you were still in here with that cocksucker… I got mad. I need to have your taste in mouth. Do this for me."

Sighing, I began slipping out of my clothes. Edward lifted me into his arms and walked over to the couch. He made no move to remove his own clothes, instead kissing and stroking my skin. I didn't know what to think about his behavior.

"Spread your legs," he commanded, dropping down on his knees in front of me. I did as he said because I was eager to have him gone.

Seconds later, Edward's tongue began licking my core from front to back. I held on to to his strong shoulders for balance. He went very slowly, like he was savoring something delicious. To be honest, it felt wonderful. I came on his tongue multiple times before he pulled away.

"_Siete la mia aria. _You are my air, babydoll_"_, he whispered, laying one gentle kiss on my swollen nub.

After the multiple orgasms, I was spent. Edward laid his head on my thigh and played with the little bit of hair around my pussy. He seemed to be deep in thought about something.

"Talk to me," I murmured, stroking his hair.

He looked up at me with sadness swimming in his eyes. "Did you like that?"

I nodded and smiled. "Yes, but you didn't have to be so mean to Giles. I would never cheat on you and demean our marriage, Edward."

He closed his eyes, wincing in pain. "I'm sorry, babydoll. I lost control. I didn't like seeing him here with you."

"Edward, what's really wrong?"

He climbed up on to the couch and pulled a blanket over me. Then I laid back in his strong arms. He was wearing one of the Armani suits, and he smelled divine. I couldn't resist leaning up to lick some of my juices off of his chin. He groaned and pulled me closer.

"Bella, I had my appointment with Dr. Uley. He thinks…that I may have a mental disorder. He wants me to see a specialist for tests. I fucking refused. I'm not fucking crazy! I just need you and nothing else."

I pulled back so I could look into his agitated eyes. "Edward, Dr. Uley isn't saying that you're crazy. There are many psychological disorders which are due to chemicals in the brain not working right.."

He leaned forward so that his elbows rested on his knees. "I fucking know what it means! Bipolar-a mental disorder marked by alternating periods of elation and depression."

I bit my tongue. I'd only taken a few Psychology classes in college, but the definition of bipolar disorder fit with Edward's mood swings. He could be up one minute and down the next. Dr. Uley was one of the best therapists in Washington. If he thought Edward was bipolar, he was probably right.

"Edward, you do have these mood swings…"

He turned to glare at me. "You think I'm fucking crazy. I'm not! I'm not fucking crazy. I'm not sick. There's nothing fucking wrong with me. You just want them to put me away so you can be with that Giles motherfucker."

I snorted. "Listen to yourself, Edward. You were just saying sweet things to me a minute ago, and now you're accusing me of cheating again. That isn't normal. You need help. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you or take you away, but I want you to get better."

"So you want me to get the tests done?" I nodded. "Okay. I'll do it for you, babydoll. I know I'm not fucking crazy, though."

Sobbing, I kissed the top of his head. "Don't think about it like that, Edward. Millions of people have mental disorders. My father was depressed after my mom died. He took antidepressants for a few years to keep him on track. He told me when he was sick. He was like you, he thought I'd think he was weak if I knew about the pills. It was the opposite, though. I think asking for and getting help is very brave.

I sighed. "I can't lose you, Edward. I don't want you to try suicide or hurt yourself again. Dante and I need you."

Edward stayed in my arms until Dante woke up. Then he went to get our baby so I could clean up. While he was occupied, I changed back into my clothes and fixed my hair. My face was red and puffy from crying, but I felt like Edward and I were close again.

When I got back into the main area, Edward was talking to Bree while she fed Dante a bottle. Onyx was meowing on top of my desk I picked up my cat and rubbed my cheek against her fur. She purred and licked me.

"I missed you, Onyx. How is my other baby?"

"Meowwww," she purred loudly.

"Fucking demon furball," Edward mumbled, staring at me.

I held Onyx close and glared. "I heard that, Edward. Remember you language in front of Dante. Hi, Bree."

She smiled shyly. "Hi, Bella. I am sorry to be hogging Onyx. I like when she sleeps on my bed at night."

"You can fu-, um, have her. I wouldn't miss the furball," Edward said, taking Dante from Bree.

I huffed and held my pet close. "Don't listen to him. We love you, Onyx."

Edward left after changing Dante. Then Bree and Maggie came to fill me in on what we needed to order. There were several sold out classes and we needed more cafe staff for the holidays. They promised to help with the task, but I also had to find a full time manager soon.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

At five-thirty, Jane drove me to Alice's boutique. Since all our family and friends were attending the campaign dinner, we'd hired a night nanny for Dante. It was an older woman who had been approved by the Volturi. Jane would also stay because I was overprotective of my little lamb.

"Call me when you get to the Penthouse, Jane. I trust you with him. We'll be home around midnight," I said, stepping out of the car.

Jane nodded. "He's safe with me. Mrs. Crane is a good nanny. The most she'll do is feed DC too much applesauce. Have a good time at your dinner. I'll see you later."

After she drove off, I walked inside of the boutique. It had been empty for years, but now this part of town was going through gentrification, which meant it was hip and booming with business.

"Bella, you're here," Alice squealed, rushing to my side. Several frazzled seamstresses were left in her wake.

"Just like I promised. Where do you need me?"

For the next half hour, I was measured and forced into several gowns. Alice already knew which one she wanted me to wear, but I think she enjoyed torture. The heels I tried on weren't much better than the dresses.

"Red is definitely a good color for her with that pale skin and those dark eyes. It goes with the Christmas and political themes, and it also oozes power. Yes, I want her in red," Alice announced, making her minions jump into action.

"Hey, I thought I was wearing red," Rose pouted, walking into the backroom.

Alice nodded. "You're in blue tonight, darling. Bella has to be the focal point. Her dress will match Edward's tie and handkerchief."

"That sounds good to me. Emmett is really excited about this thing. He loves stripping me out of formal wear," Rose said, winking.

Both Ali and I fake gagged while the seamstresses began working on Rose. While we got our dresses ready, I caught up with my sisters. We were all so busy with work and life, but we made plans to have a spa day before Christmas.

"I think I'm more excited about Dante's little birthday party this Saturday. It's supposed to be sunny. We should have done it on December second, which was actually Dante's six months, but Edward was too busy."

Rose handed me a bottle of juice. "C and B are very excited. They like watching DC play with bubble wrap and crawl around."

Alice laughed. "All my nephews are adorable, but I want a niece. Which one of you will give me one?"

"We're trying," Rose admitted, shrugging her shoulders.

I rolled my eyes and pointed to Alice. "Why don't you give _us_ a niece? My brother would be a great father."

To my surprise, Ali began to cry. Rose and I wrapped our arms around her as she sobbed. I didn't know what was wrong, because Ali hardly ever cried.

"Jazzy doesn't want a baby. If I even bring it up, he gets mad. He makes sure we're very careful, and he wants me to stay on birth control pills. I do want a baby so badly. It's not fair," she whispered, sniffling.

I handed her a Kleenex. "I'm so sorry, Ali. Jaz had a bad childhood. He's always been hard on himself. He practically raised me, so he can do it. I'll talk to him."

After we calmed her down, we took turns showering and getting dressed. Alice provided a million types of soaps, makeup, and perfumes. She and Rose tried to make me eat, but my stomach was in knots about the dinner and what had happened earlier. I'd only received one text from Edward promising me he was okay.

By the time the men arrived, we were dressed. My long red gown looked beautiful. It was an Alice original. We argued over the shoes, but I ended up winning with a pair of low black heels. Rose curled and glossed my hair to perfection while Alice applied my makeup.

"Look at our wives!" Emmett shouted, whistling and pulling Rosalie into his arms.

My brother picked Ali up, kissing her thoroughly. "Hot damn! Who wants to go to this dinner now? I don't want anyone to see my wife looking this good."

Alice giggled and nuzzled his nose. "I always look this good, Jazzy."

When I got a good look at Edward, my lungs stopped working. He was wearing a dark blue suit, white shirt, with a red, white, and blue tie. He looked like a young, hot politician. Every woman would be trying to get a piece of him.

Groaning, I closed the distance between us. "You look…"

He put his index finger over my lips. "Don't. I'm nothing compared to you. Your tits are on display and you're showing way too much fucking skin. You're gorgeous but damn. I don't want those assholes eye-fucking you all night."

Wantonly, I licked the tip of his finger. "I'll only be eye-fucking you, Mr. Cullen, and maybe actually fucking you later if you're good."

Edward and I were about to tear each others' clothes off, when I heard a throat clear. "You better not even think of ruining Bella's dress or hair, Edward. I will kick your ass," Alice threatened, poking her brother.

He stuck his tongue out at her and dragged me out the door. There was a black Hummer Limo waiting for us on the curb. I felt very glamorous and posh as my husband poured flutes of champagne, stealing kisses from me along the way.

Almost half an hour later, we were in front of the Ritz. I'd promised myself that I'd be confident, smart, and beautiful for Edward's sake. He really wanted the Senate seat, and I wanted it for him.

"You ready, babydoll," He whispered, helping me into my white fur coat.

I nodded. "Do you think they'll be mad at me for wearing animal fur, Edward? Maybe I should put on the other jacket."

"Babydoll, these people won't care. Most of them hunt for sport. You look amazing. I'm the luckiest and proudest man in the world tonight. I know I don't tell you that enough," he said, taking my hand in his own.

A hush fell over the room as we entered. Alice and the others left so that all eyes were on Edward and me. He was used to being the center of attention, so I just followed his lead. In a far corner, I noticed his campaign manager, Gin, was glaring at me.

_He's my husband. Back off, bitch._ I thought possessively.

After someone took my coat, we were led to a table as an older, distinguished looking man took the podium and began talking about Edward. I was so proud of the respect we were shown. So far the night was going great.

"And let us give a warm round of applause for the man and woman of the hour. Mr. Edward Cullen and his lovely wife Bella Swan-Cullen," the man said, raising a champagne flute in our direction.

The whole room applauded, and some people stood up so they could get a better look at us. Then the caterers started bring out the food. Several people stopped by the table to shake Edward's hand. He introduced me each time but didn't let any men get too close. Fortunately, Felix wasn't far away from the table.

All our friends and family looked awesome. Esme seemed to know everyone and Carlisle just followed her lead. Rose drew a lot of admirers once she started talking about classic car restoration, so Em never let her side. Poor Jasper was forced to spend the night mostly with the wives who flocked around Alice for fashion advice.

"Bella, you've barely touched your lobster. Eat, babydoll," Edward insisted, looking at me worriedly. To please him, I took a big bite.

After we ate, Edward and I mingled. The group of people were mostly older, very wealthy, and very boring. I couldn't wait to get home to my little lamb. Jane had already phoned to inform us that everything was going well.

"Edward, I need to go to the restroom," I whispered in his ear. "I'll be right back."

He nodded. "Okay, babydoll. Felix will be close.

All my sisters and friends were still eating or on the dance floor, so I went alone. True to form, Felix hovered close behind me and stepped into the path of any man who tried to talk to me. I giggled, watching how scared those men became when Felix glared at them. In reality, he was a big teddy bear.

"I'll be right outside this door, Bella," he assured me, taking his post as several wide eyed women passed.

Women's restrooms were always a crazy place. For example, this one had plush chairs and a perfume attendant as well as the regular stalls. I went inside one and did my business. I was flushing the toilet when I heard my husband's name.

"Did you see him, Gloria. God, he looks good. I can't believe he's married. The wife is pretty enough, but does she know that she married the devil?"

There was a shuffle and some giggles before a second voice chimed in. "She probably doesn't care. You remember his bedroom skills the same as me. The man knows how to use that big cock. It's just the relationship stuff he's shit at. He dumped me on my birthday. Who does that?"

A third voice joined the fray. "Well, he was sleeping with me and my mother at the same time. I hate Edward Cullen. I'm only here because my Uncle made me come."

Yet another woman joined the conversation. "He's fucked about eighty percent of the women out there. I don't know what that little bitch did to make him marry her. They have a kid, too. Edward Cullen is not the domestic type. She's going to end up regretting it." All the women seemed to agree with her.

A few minutes later, there was another shuffle letting me know they had gone. I raised the lid and began vomiting into the shiny black toilet. I'd known about Edward's past, but it still hurt to hear those things about my husband.

When I was empty, I flushed the toilet and walked out. Several women stopped to gape at me. I heard them whispering about Edward and confirming me as his wife. Keeping my head held high, I went to an empty sink and rinsed out my mouth. The attendant gave me some much needed mints and Kleenex.

"Thank you," I said handing her a hundred dollar bill. I carried them around like Edward.

When I returned to my husband's side, he was surrounded by a group of older men. They were discussing redistricting or something. Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and introduced me. I zoned out of the conversation, choosing to play the pretty trophy wife. I felt miserable.

The dinner ended a little past eleven. Gina informed the crowd that a record amount had been raised for Edward's campaign. She actually looked professional for once, but I knew she was rotten inside. I'd seen her whispering with married men all night long.

After she got down off the stage, she grabbed Demetri and joined us. "Tonight was a success, Edward. You're going to win in February. There's no one close to you in the early polling," she confirmed proudly.

Edward leaned down and kissed my cheek. "I'm winning tonight with this goddess by my side. We're heading home."

"Hi, Bella. Bye, Bella," D said, laughing at his own joke.

When I looked over, Gina was staring at me strangely. Edward's grip on my waist tightened as he growled deep in his chest. Gina looked at him and shook her head. Then she said a curt, "Goodnight," and pulled D away.

"What was that about?" I asked, curiously.

"Nothing. She's just jealous of your beauty," he replied much too quickly. I knew it was a lie.

We headed home after saying goodbye to our family and friends. We would all be together again in a few days. Plus Nahuel and his family were finally coming for a visit. This Christmas was going to be magical.

When we got to the Penthouse, Jane was in the living room watching a movie with the nanny. The older woman gushed about how sweet my little lamb had been. I promised we'd use her the next time we needed a night nanny.

Later, I pretended to be too tired to make love to Edward. Thankfully he bought my excuse and watched a movie with me instead. I fell asleep on the couch while tucked in his arms. Despite what I'd heard tonight, I knew he loved me. The past was the past.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

The next day, we went to therapy. Dr. A. thought it would be a good idea for Edward and I to write down our feelings about one another in a journal and give them as Christmas gifts. She said we needed to work on our communication skills. I hadn't told her about the almost rapes because I didn't want her to tell Caius.

Before long Saturday had rolled around. We were having Dante's party at Carlisle and Esme's because the new mansion wasn't done and they had a lot of land for the kids to run around. I loved the city, but sometimes I missed being out in the woods.

Dante began whining the minute we walked through the door. I knew what he wanted, so I walked straight outside and found baby Sasha. Garrett was just setting her down on one of the play blankets while Kate brought out a bottle.

I put my little lamb down, and he immediately crawled to Sasha. She smiled and gave him one of her soft keys. Garrett groaned as Kate and I took pictures. Edward just laughed and yelled, "That's my boy."

The party was great. Dante got more expensive gifts than one baby could ever use and had a blast playing with the boxes and bubble wrap. He and Sasha's baby laughs were infections and put us all in a good mood.

"Bebba, cookie?" Colin asked, crawling into my lap.

Rose rolled her eyes and handed him an Oreo. "You'd think I don't feed them."

A few minutes later, Emmett walked over to Esme and asked for a taste test hamburger. My sisters and I cracked up as he, Jaz, and Edward tried to charm Esme. She soaked up the attention and served Riley and Jake before our guys, just to teach them a lesson.

"They're so freaking cute! I want a baby," Leah said, looking at Jake.

He turned a dark shade of red. "Uh, we're not married yet. Let's do that first, babe."

Ali clapped her hands and poked Jaz in the ribs. "I want a baby, too. We're already married. The babies need more playmates."

My brother choked on his potato salad. "I'm not ready."

Sobbing, Alice ran into the house. I stood up, but Esme took over and went after her. I glared at Jasper and told him that we'd talk about this later. The rest of the people at the table just looked uncomfortable until Sasha burped loudly, making us all laugh.

Later, Esme and Alice returned with the Winnie the Pooh cupcakes. C and B oohed and ahhed, asking if it was their birthday, too. Rose happily told them it wasn't, but they didn't seem to believe her.

There was a special, smaller cupcake just for Dante. Edward helped him blow out the little blue candle, and then removed it. My little lamb proved to be his father's son by throwing a tantrum that ended with his

chubby little hands being slammed down on the cupcake. However he was so cute licking it off; I couldn't be mad at him.

"Our baby obviously has a sweet tooth like his parents," I explained to the party.

"You're going to make Kate rich with his dentistry bills," Carlisle teased, sending us all into another fit of giggles.

The party was a success and all the babies fell asleep before the sun went down. Our friends had planned to go dancing at HADES. Edward made sure everything was arranged. We decided to spend the night in so Dante could spend more time with his grandparents.

Since Edward was tired, he chose to take a nap with Dante. They looked so cute sleeping chest to chest, one in diapers and the other in boxers. I took another picture before grabbing bottled water and heading downstairs.

I detoured to the den to get my jacket. But when I heard Esme quietly whispering Carlisle's name in the throes of passion, I changed my mind. Instead, I went upstairs and grabbed Edward's jacket. It was too big but very warm.

After a few minutes of walking, I came to the swing. Edward had already had our special tree moved to our new house. As I swung through the chilly evening air, I thought back to that day-when he'd told me the truth about his profession and we'd confessed our love for each other.

I was taking a break when my phone began to vibrate. "Hello," I said, waiting for the person to identify themselves.

"Are you alone?" a strange female voice asked hesitantly.

"Who…who is this?"

"It's Gina. I need to talk to you about something."

I sighed warily. "Why are you calling me? I know what you are, and I know you want my husband."

She paused so long I thought she'd hung up. "Fuck. I knew this wouldn't work. I just want to warn you to be careful. You're sleeping with the Devil. Edward is going down, and he'll take you with him."

"Why should I believe you, bitch? You wouldn't help me if I was dying," I snapped angrily.

"I warn all the wives, Mrs. Cullen. He has my handkerchief. Guess how it got dirty? I want it back, Isabella. I know I'm a bitch and a whore, but I own it. Edward is the one lying to you." Unfortunately she hung up before I could yell at her.

After that cryptic call, I felt sick to my stomach and vomited again. I'd already lost five pounds the last month. I really only ate enough so I'd be able to breastfeed. The worry and stress was also making my hair fall out, but it was so thick and long to begin with that no one noticed.

With teary eyes, I kicked the stump left by our special tree. "I love you so much, Edward. Don't let it be true. Don't let it be true," I repeated, falling to my knees.

* * *

_Bella's happy bubble is being broken. Why do you think Gina warns the wives? Will Bella find that handkerchief in Edward's things? We are about two chapters away from the big reveal. Stay tuned for more. __The next chapter is Christmas, which is their anniversary._Review and get Dante kisses and cupcakes. Don't review and you get the bathroom bitches. It's your choice. I'll be with the Stoli. *Huggles*


	9. Chapter 8:The Way That I Love You Part 2

_A/N: It's been a long time since I gave you an update. I needed a break from fic and the fandom. It was good for me. Now, I'm back and you'll get more regular updates. This second part got long on me and ended up being 16K words, so I'm splitting it here. The third part will be posted this Thursday.  
_

_Shoutouts to** Lo, Viv, Lebells, Purpling, Catseye, Skyebella, Dayjolie**, **Tally**, and all my twarlings who motivate me. Pictures and songs are on the **Blog**. Link is on my Profile._

_If you can't handle **LAMTAF2** and don't want to read it, I understand. This story will go into some heavy angst and infidelity issues will arise. I promise to warn you guys about difficult chapters. I want this fic to be somewhat realistic, and we have a Mafia Don with a mental illness, and a woman that loves him beyond reason. It won't all be pretty._

**Recs: (All in my Favorites)**

**We are Three** by Withaplomb- _A one night stand leads to an E/B pregnancy. It's well written and very sweet. Watch as they prepare to welcome their cub :)_

**How to Paint a House** by Maggie's Gutter- _I don't typically like high school fics, but this one is awesome. Bella is a young teen girl in love with her house painter and new guy in town Edward. The writing is so good and makes me think back to my own days as an teenage girl. Give it a try._

**Brain Bleach not Included** by Pennysayseffyou- _I'm not gonna lie. This fic isn't for everyone. Edward has a fetish that makes him act like an infant. You probably heard this called Diaperward. The author was bullied and called all kinds of names by this fandom. She's a nice person and writing is her outlet. If you can handle the subject matter, give it a try._

_**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own Twilight, a good waffle iron, or sanity.

* * *

**After all of the times that we tried,  
I found out we were living a lie  
And after all of this love that we made,  
I know now you don't love me the same  
The way that I love  
(The way that I love you)  
The way that I love  
(The way that I love you)  
The way that I love  
(The way that I love you)  
I woke up kinda early today, and something told me from**

**that moment it wouldn't be the same  
Felt like you were hidin' something, but I didn't push it,  
I didn't complain or say nothing  
I tried to act like I didn't see it,  
'cause deep down I know I didn't wanna believe it..**

The Way That I Love You-Ashanti

**BPOV**

As I sat outside of Dr. Athena's office waiting for Edward, I thought about all the ways our marriage had gone wrong in a year. I had planned to confront Edward about Gina's cryptic call, but he'd barely been home since Dante's birthday party. I knew he was avoiding me. Honestly, I wouldn't have been surprised if he'd decided to skip the session.

I was making myself sick with worry when Dr. A opened her door. We greeted each other with a casual hug, and then she ushered me to the white leather couch. The room smelled line fresh pine and there were glasses of hot apple cider on the coffee table.

"You look flushed, dear. Are you feeling okay?" Dr. A asked worriedly.

Calmly, I picked up a cup and took a sip of the cider. Charlie had been fond of it, so I'd learned how to make it from scratch. When I was ten, he'd taken Jasper and I to a farm where we picked apples for hours before going home and making various recipes with them. It was one of my fondest memories.

"I miss my parents, and Edward is…distant. I know he's under a lot of stress with the campaign and the Family, but I feel like I'm in this marriage alone. I don't know if we're going to make it," I confessed truthfully.

She smiled and leaned forward to pat my hand. "You're a strong woman, Bella. I've seen firsthand how much you and Edward love and care for each other. I know it's not easy being married to a man like him, but you've done a great job."

I snorted, causing me to spill a little of the cider on my brown suede skirt. My new daily wardrobe cost more than I used to spend on clothes in a year. The Mafia wife lifestyle had definitely changed me, but was it for the better? Most of the time I just felt like burying my head and letting myself go under the waves, but I knew my little lamb deserved far better.

Twenty minutes later, Edward strolled in and took a seat next to me. I watched as he made apologies to Dr. A. about some meeting that went overtime. He even had an excuse for why he didn't call. It was times like these when I glimpsed the old Edward-the manwhore who played women as well as he played the piano. He disgusted me.

"Hey, babydoll. I really did mean to call. You look hot as fuck in that skirt," Edward said, leering at my thighs.

"You know you shouldn't wear that shit out of the house, though. I'm running for fucking State Senate. I don't need the electorate thinking my wife is a slut or getting a goddamn hard-on looking at her."

_What the hell?_

I turned to Dr. A. and pointed at Edward. "You see! This is what I have to deal with all the time. He never has time for me or his son; but when he does come home, all I hear are complaints and accusations. I'm so sick of it all!"

"Why the fuck are you freaking out, Bella? I was just making a fucking suggestion. Excuse me for not wanting men to use pictures of my wife to get off," he mumbled, glaring at me.

Smirking, I sat forward so that we were eye to eye. "Why do you even care, Edward? You've made it clear that your family is not your first priority. You defiled our marriage in Chicago. I'm always here for you, but you keep pushing me away. How many women are you sleeping with this time? I can't even trust you anymore."

He laughed while glancing at the Doctor. "This is why I don't want go home. She turns everything into a motherfucking argument! Yes, I've messed up, but I fucking confessed about all the shit that happened. Whatever I do is never good enough."

By this point, my blood was on fire. Dr. A. was saying something to Edward, but the pounding in my head blocked out their conversation. It wasn't fair for him to put all our problems on my shoulders. I was trying to be a good wife.

I decided this was as good of a time as any to ask the question which kept me up at night. "Are you fucking Gina Bartello? I got a strange phone call from her asking about some handkerchief. What's going on?"

He stood up, walked over to the corner, and began punching the wall. "I'm going to kill that fucking bitch! She's fucking harassing my wife. My fucking wife! I'll fucking slit her throat."

Dr. A. pulled out her phone and dialed a number. I knew she was calling Caius. A part of me wanted to go to Edward, but he was big and I'd been hurt too much lately by his hands. His violent reaction hadn't helped matters.

After he made several dents in the wall, my husband slumped to the floor. I saw little pools of blood trickle down his hands. All I could do was sit numbly while Dr. A attended to him with a first aid kit. Nothing made sense anymore.

"Babydoll," Edward called, reaching out for me.

I shook my head. "You did this to yourself. I asked a simple yes or no question, and you turned into an animal."

Sighing, he raised his head and looked me in the eye. "I'm not fucking Gina or anyone else. I promise you that I'm still faithful. You're the only woman I want."

It felt a weight was lifted off of my shoulders with those words, but a little voice in my head warned me not to believe those lies. The last time I'd heard the same little voice was when I was in denial about being pregnant.

_Look how that turned out._

I don't know how much time passed before Caius arrived. He kissed Athena and I on the forehead before kneeling down in front of Edward. Caius was wearing a long, jet-black overcoat, which made his Albino features stand out all the more. He looked like the Grim Reaper kneeling before my husband.

They exchanged words in Italian. It was too much and too fast for me to comprehend. Clearly whatever Caius said was harsh, because Dr. A. kept trying to get him to back off. Edward just stood there, looking at his godfather as if he wasn't really seeing him at all.

"_Scusarsi!_" Caius bellowed, harshly pulling Edward's limp body up from the floor.

"I'm sorry, Athena. I'll pay for all the damages and shit," Edward's voice sounded completely lifeless..

All of a sudden, he walked over to me and got down on his knees. "Please…please. I need you to trust me. I'm in a bad place right now, but I'm trying. All this testing and bipolar shit has me spooked. You and DC are the only good things I've ever done in my miserablefucking life. Please, babydoll, give me another chance."

I looked up to see Caius and Athena. watching us nervously. Athena shrugged, letting me know it was completely up to me. I was grateful they were willing to stay out of our relationship, but Caius looked like he'd have words with Edward later.

Gently, I caressed Edward's soft hair. It grew pretty fast in the winter and was forever falling into his eyes. "I love you, honey. I've given you everything I can, but you know the one thing I can't accept. We can't stay married if trust is gone. If I find out you're cheating on me, I won't stay. You've always known how I feel about adultery. I just don't understand why Gina would lie, and why you won't get rid of her."

He stood up and pulled me into his arms. "I have my reasons, but it's only you, babydoll. You're the only one that touches my black heart. I'll die without you."

I didn't have the strength to fight any longer, so I decided to trust my husband. We clung to each other like Jack and Rose in _Titanic_, letting the tears flow down our faces. Dr. A. always said no marriage could make it across the ocean without a few waves. Unfortunately, Edward and I didn't even have year in matrimony, and we were already drowning.

"Come here, honey. Let me dress your hands," I offered, taking the first aid kit Dr. A. offered. The task only took a few minutes but by the time it was done, I felt much better. My husband needed me right now, and I'd never turned my back on anyone who truly needed me.

After we calmed down, Caius left. We spent the rest of the session working on ways to improve our communication skills. Dr. A. suggested that we each keep a journal and exchange them twice a month. Sometimes it was easier to write things down than to actually say them aloud.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

Half an hour later, Edward and I were in his Phantom headed to lunch. We had a lot of bad stuff between us, but neither of us could keep our eyes off of each other. The smell of spice and sandalwood filled my nostrils as I inhaled my husband's unique scent.

_Still sin and desire._

"Can we go home and just get takeout, Edward? I'm not really in the mood to be around people."

Soon, we were pulling into our private garage. There were no security guys around because Edward had them working at the docks for the next few days. It didn't matter, though, because we had the latest state of the art security system installed. I felt safe.

The minute my husband turned off the car, I was in his arms. We clawed at each other's clothes like wild animals in heat. I took off Edward's shirt, kissing his broad chest and pink nipples as he ripped my new silk blouse. I was too far gone to pout over the money wasted.

"You taste like hot chocolate," Edward mused, licking my tongue. I mewled like a cat, slanting my lips so he could probe deeper.

Pretty soon, my bra was added to the clothing casualties. Edward had no patience for snaps and buttons when he was horny. I giggled as he wrestled the suede skirt over my head. I guess that particular material was too strong for my caveman to rip.

"Fuck! I fucking want my dick buried in your sweet pussy. Babydoll, help me get my pants off."

I licked the shell of Edward's ear and whispered, "Front seat or back seat," all while grinding my wetness onto his erection.

He hissed and moved the driver's seat back. "Fucking shit! There's no way I can move now. We'll have to do it here."

Nodding, I maneuvered my body so I was facing the steering wheel. One of Edward's big hands squeezed my backside roughly while he used the other to rub my clit. My juices were already leaking on to his thighs.

"Are you ready?" I asked, looking back at him.

He nodded and spread his legs a little. Leaning forward and up, I was able to lower myself onto Edward's length. He cried out in pleasure as I took him hard. I loved making love to my husband. He was so big that he hit every spot. I felt him everywhere.

Slowly, I began swirling my hips and bouncing up and down. As I rode Edward, I used the wheel as leverage. He was hitting my special spot each time I came down on his lap. We worked ourselves into a perfect rhythm of thrusting and pulling back.

"You're so fucking hot. How could I ever cheat on this? I love you, Mrs. Cullen."

Tears prickled my eyes at his sweet words. "I love you, Mr. Cullen. Don't ever make me doubt you again or we…won't be doing this anymore."

Growling, Edward began sliding his slick, long fingers into my other hole. I came apart, screaming his name.

He wasn't done yet, though, and continued pounding me as I tried to keep my grip on the leather steering wheel.

"I want your sweet ass, babydoll. Say I can have it," he begged, caressing my lower stomach.

I whimpered and nodded. "Yes! Yes! Anything you want. Don't stop."

Suddenly, Edward pulled out. Then he opened the door and exited the car. Knowing what he wanted, I got on my hands and knees, leaving my ass to hang out of the door. Edward rubbed lube on both of us before plunging into me again.

"Fuck!" I screamed as he began pushing his girth inside of my rosebud.

"All I think about when I'm gone is coming home and doing this to you. Your ass drives me fucking insane. Don't get me wrong, I love your pussy, but to know that you let me have your ass makes me feel fucking powerful," my husband stated proudly.

I blushed and tried to look back at him. "Are you going to write odes to my butt, or are you going to bring me to paradise?"

The cool air hit me as Edward began lightly smacking my backside. I groaned and buried my head into the leather seat. It smelled like pure sex, which only turned me on more. I wanted Edward to fuck me so hard I wouldn't be able to feel any of the pain anymore.

"Harder," I screamed, meeting him thrust for thrust.

"My naughty little tigress," Edward whispered. I smiled, hearing the fondness in his voice.

While he pumped, I was rubbing my clit like a mad woman. When Edward took over, I pressed his hand right where it needed to be, crying out his name as he pinched my engorged nub. All thoughts and sensations fell away as I climbed towards my impending orgasm.

"I…come…babydoll," Edward grunted as I felt his jism coating my insides.

I continued using his limp hand to rub my clit, but my own pleasure eluded me. The more I tried for the orgasm, the further away it became. I'd never had anal sex with Edward without coming gloriously at the end. The new development worried me deeply.

For the first time in my sexual life, I faked an orgasm. I tried to make all the same noises and movements so Edward wouldn't get suspicious. Besides, it wasn't really a big deal. At least I'd gotten off during the first part.

Seconds later, Edward collapsed on my back, half inside and half outside of the Phantom. I curled up on to my side, so we both fit better. My husband's chest heaved mightily as he struggled to catch his breath.

Smiling softly, I rubbed the tattoo of my name over his heart. "That's just what I needed, Mr. Cullen. Now I'm starved, and you've ruined my clothes."

Edward pulled me to his chest and opened his eyes. "What's the matter, babydoll?"

"Nothing is wrong, honey. That was just what I needed," I replied, kissing his stubbly chin.

He buried his hand in my hair and tugged until I looked into his emerald eyes. "Don't fucking lie to me, Bella. I know you faked the last orgasm. I know your body as well as my own."

Before I knew what was happening, tears were falling from eyes. "I've been so scared and worried. I don't know what's going to happen with us. I think it's just stress. I shouldn't have faked it, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings. I'm sorry."

Edward pulled me close, gently kissing my lips. "There's nothing to be sorry about, babydoll. I hate that you didn't come. Sexual pleasure is about the only damn thing I can give you besides material goods. Was I too rough? Were you in pain?"

I shook my head. "No, no! It was great, and I was so close. Maybe it was my subconscious. You give me so much, Edward. All I want is you."

After we made out for a little while, Edward and I helped each other clean up the best we could. Since my clothes were ruined, I had to wear his long black Burberry trench coat. My caveman didn't want me to catch a chill.

"You look like a wannabe Mafioso, Bella," Edward teased.

I stuck out my tongue and gave him the middle finger. "Who says girls can't be real gangsters? You and your Mafia friends are sexist."

Laughing, he carried me into the elevator and put the code in for our floor. We bantered all the way to the door. The stress from earlier was forgotten for a while, but I knew it was just a temporary reprieve.

While I showered, Edward called one of his guys to pick up food from my favorite sushi place. I knew I'd been losing too much weight. My ribs stuck out more and my waist was smaller. It was just another way to show how out of tune our relationship had become. The old Edward would have noticed those physical changes in me.

Afterwards, I got dressed in some loose, pink pajama pants and a white Henley. I was brushing my hair when Edward walked into our bedroom. He didn't say a word as he walked up and placed a California roll in my mouth.

"Mmm, it's so good," I moaned, wrapping my lips around his fingers.

He groaned and placed his strong arms around my body. In the mirror, we looked so perfect. His large body and unique eyes and hair perfectly complimented my delicate, dark looks. We fit like two pieces in a puzzle.

"You're only getting more beautiful, babydoll. I want… I want so much with you, but I have to fight these demons. I won't take you down to Hell with me. _Te amo_," Edward whispered, kissing my jaw.

I turned around slowly. "We need to talk, Edward. Let's go get some plates made and crawl into bed. I'm exhausted, and you haven't had much rest either."

A little while later, we were in bed eating our meal off of a large wooden tray. I'd lit some scented candles which gave the room a delicious aroma. Even though Edward was with me, he was distant. "Tell me what's on your mind," I prodded, nudging his knee.

He looked up as if he'd forgotten I was in the room with him. "In Chicago... when I went to that place, I knew it was wrong. I feel so much pain and anger all the time. I took some of it out on you. I'll never forgive myself for that…"

I touched his face. "Shhh, I forgave you. Tell me more about this pain. I know killing that teenage boy was hard on you, but if you hadn't shot him then one of ours would be gone. He was playing a grown man's game, Edward. I do grieve for the mother, though."

"It's just every-fucking-thing! Sometimes, I wish we could go back to that first encounter. I would kick Jasper's ass out of the office and never look your way again. It would have been the best thing for me to do. But then, I think of all the happiness I've had with you…our son, the marriage, feeling love for the first time. I'm such a greedy motherfucker. If I could go back to that day in my office, I would still have to have you, babydoll."

After pulling him to my chest, I let Edward know I didn't regret us being together. I told him how much I loved him, how he'd given me a real family again. There were lots of bad times, but I wouldn't have traded them for the time we'd spent together.

My husband was silent for several minutes before pulling away. "I know I'm bipolar. What if DC inherits it? I may have fucked up his life before he has a chance to be his own person. The drugs… The drugs help numb it sometimes, but I'm not myself. I tried substituting with pain. I went to that BDSM club because I knew I couldn't ask you to hurt me. I let some bitch shock and beat me until I cried out for her to stop. I'm not going to lie to you, Bella...it felt…good."

Gasping, I pushed the food aside. "It felt good? Did you orgasm?"

He nodded guiltily. "That's the part I didn't tell you. I can't fucking stand my own body. My skin feels too tight all the goddamn time. The drugs and the pain numb me. I'm not sure I'm strong enough to withstand either of those temptations."

"No!" I screeched hysterically. "Why didn't you tell me? You let someone else bring you pleasure. I thought… I thought you did it just for the pain. I don't understand, Edward. This hurts...another woman gave you something I wouldn't…that I couldn't… What else have you lied to me about?"

Defeated, he hung his head. "I'm sorry, Bella. _Mi dispiace_."

Suddenly, it seemed like the last hour of sex and flirting had never happened. I felt sick again, and I knew that I had to get away from Edward before I fell apart. He didn't deserve my tears.

Trembling, I faced him head on. "I don't think you'll ever know how much this hurts me, Edward. I know you're lying to me about other things, too. Gina fucking harassed me, and you didn't fire her! You always choose your bimbos over me. I have feelings, too. I can't trust you anymore. Maybe I never should have in the first place."

I was halfway to the door when Edward grabbed my arm and pushed me against the wall. "I knew you'd be like this! I fucking kept shit from you to avoid this argument. You don't trust me... Well, I don't trust you either! You don't fucking come on my cock. How do I know you're not fucking Giles or some other asshole? I'm not with you all day."

Trying to break out his grasp was like fighting against stone handcuffs. Angrily, I used my legs to kick him in the balls. "Don't you put your hands on me like that again! I've had enough. I'm going to tell Marcus and Caius everything. Why do you think you can manage the Volturi or Senate when you can't manage your own home? You need more help than I can give you. You're…crazy!"

He let me go and began laughing. "At least you're finally being honest, Isabella." I cringed, hearing my full name on his tongue. Somehow, it sounded wrong when he used it.

"You don't want a crazy motherfucker for a husband. Go tell on me and be like all the other stupid fucking bitches."

I felt like I was in a dream as I balled up my fist and punched Edward square in his jaw. I didn't stop there, though. I hit him all over until my hands were bloody and raw. He didn't make a move to defend himself, eventually falling to the floor. I spat, slapped, and hit until my body gave out.

When I woke up, I was in bed alone. Edward had dressed my hands. Thankfully, they didn't look too bad. I let the tears flow freely while I thought about what I did. I promised to never hurt Edward, and then a few minutes later I was pummeling him into the ground.

_What's wrong with me?_

"I deserved it," Edward said, startling me from the doorway. He looked like he'd been in a fight with an alley cat.

I shook my head. "That's not me. I don't want to be that person. I can't…live with all this anger towards you."

He decided to change the subject. "I have shit to work on tonight. Esme called. She'll bring DC back in about an hour. Let's…just try to give him a good first Christmas. You can fucking hate me all you want, but I'm still your husband and his father. If you rat on me, wait until after the holidays. Get some rest, Bella."

He left, and I screamed into my pillow as my heart broke into a million pieces. It was hard to breathe. Honestly, I wanted to curl up and die. The moment of despair made me miss my parent's fiercely.

By the time Esme and Carlisle came by, I'd cleaned myself up and made a quick dinner. Jasper and Alice also stopped by to eat with us. My brother kept shooting me suspicious looks, but I put on a fake smile and pretended to be happy.

Edward didn't come home that night. In a moment of weakness I called his phone, but it went straight to voicemail. I had Dante coo and told him we loved him. Scared and alone, I fell asleep with my little lamb clinging to me.

The next day, Huilen, Nahuel, and Vladimir arrived. It was just the distraction I needed. Edward had already booked them a master suite at the Four Seasons. They greeted us warmly. Nahuel was especially excited to meet Dante in person.

He took out a notebook and wrote, "_He is beautiful_," while Huilen bounced my angel on her knee. They were a big part of the reason we were both still alive, and I loved them greatly.

After we caught up, I introduced them to the rest of our family. Rose and Huilen hit it off automatically. They both had a love of crazy nail designs. Alice hated Vlad's wardrobe and decided he could be her male guinea pig while he was in town. Nahuel mostly stayed around me, just observing everything with his large, black eyes.

In the afternoon, Edward finally called. I held the phone so he could talk to our son. Then he told me Paulo and Chara were due in tomorrow. They were also bringing their sons-Achilles, Isaac, and Sebastian. I was rather nervous about meeting Edward's cousins.

Thankfully, they would be staying with Esme and Carlisle. I loved Chara with all my heart, but she saw too much. If she stayed at the Penthouse, she would know Edward and I were fighting. Despite everything, I was determined to have a great Christmas.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

"Bella, you look great in that gown! I can't wait for everyone to see it. This is so exciting," Alice squealed, pulling me into a tight hug.

I twirled around, staring at myself in the mirror. Tonight was Alice's fashion show to introduce her boutique. She'd decided to officially open the store and website on the day after Christmas, but tonight was her coming out to the local fashion world.

As I was staring, Rose walked in with Esme. They handed me a little plate filled with appetizers. I smiled and ate a turkey wrap. When I looked up, everyone was staring at me.

"What?" I asked, checking to see if I had mayo on my nose.

Esme sat next to me and took my hand. "Bella, you're getting too skinny. Alice noticed and asked us to talk to you. What's the matter, sweetheart?"

"It's…Edward. We're having serious problems. I think he hates me now. I can barely function," I confessed, sniffling softly.

Rose sat on the other side of the couch and offered me some Kleenex. "I fucking knew it! What has he been doing to you, Bella? Don't lie to us, because I saw bruises on your arms." Both Esme and Alice gasped, moving closer.

After a moment of silence, I let it all spill. It felt good getting it off of my chest. Esme was curiously quiet, but Rose and Alice yelled obscenities throughout. By the time I was finished, I felt a little better.

Suddenly, Esme stood up and walked to the door. "Where are you going, Mom?" Alice asked worriedly.

The older woman wiped tears from her eyes and promised she'd be back before the show started. I'd never seen Esme look so miserable. I wanted to go to her, but I had nothing left to give.

After a while, Kate, Maggie, Bree, and the other models arrived. Alice had purposely chosen a mixture of sizes. She wanted her boutique to be for all women and not perpetuate eating disorders. I was proud of my sister for making her dreams come true.

Being with the girls was great. We gossiped about work, men, and kids. I learned that we all had problems. Rose and Emmett were trying for another baby with no luck. Alice and Jasper were still fighting about whether to have one at all. Kate was feeling like a bad mother because Garrett spent the most time with Sasha.

Eventually, hair and makeup came to put on the finishing touches. My long hair was swept up into an elaborate updo accented with swan-shaped Svarski crystals. With my heavily lined eyes and pale nude lips, I looked like a real bombshell.

The first look I was supposed to model was a floor length red gown with one strap. It was gorgeous and fit me like a glove. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I vowed to have a good time during the show.

While the other girls finished getting ready, I called the night Nanny to check up on my little lamb. I heard Felix and Chelsea laughing in the background. They were staying over because I was still an overprotective mother. I didn't take any chances with my baby's safety. Thankfully, my angel was fine and resting peacefully.

Esme returned late and got scolded by her hyper daughter. She just laughed and kissed us all before letting the makeup and hair team primp her. Athena wasn't in the show, but she came backstage to wish us luck.

Thirty minutes before curtain call, we got a rush of visitors. Siobhan and Liam surprised Maggie with a dozen roses. She looked so happy to see her parents and wasted no time introducing them to a blushing Bree.

Where Liam was coarse and loud, Siobhan had a quiet strong nature. I immediately liked her and the beautiful Irish lilt of her voice. Laughing, she told me a few funny stories about Edward as a child, and I told her about my little lamb.

Di and Marcus were the next guests. They insisted they couldn't miss their goddaughter's first show and had taken an earlier flight. We were all very happy to see them, but Di was sad Dante wasn't with us.

"I know everything, Bella. He won't hurt you again," Marcus whispered, kissing my forehead. I was too stunned to speak.

The Emcee for the show was a local fashion journalist who was dressed like a flamboyant Santa Clause. He got the crowd worked up and excited while we worked through any remaining nerves. I took deep breaths as Alice gave us one last pep talk before the first model went on stage. She had chosen a mix of pop and techno as our "strut music".

Pretty soon, it was time for me to do my first catwalk. I sauntered on stage with my held high. Alice had worked very hard on this collection, and I was determined not to be the weak link. The lights were hot, but I ignored the discomfort.

The show went off flawlessly. On my last turn, wearing a short, dark blue lace teddy and robe, I noticed Edward in the front row. He was with three other men I didn't recognize. The anger in his emerald eyes almost made me stumble in my heels.

When I got backstage, I ran to the bathroom and vomited. The hate I'd seen on Edward's face had been my undoing. Crying and retching, I stayed on the floor of the stall until I heard other voices. Frantically, I stood up and went to the sink to rinse out my mouth.

"The show was a success, Bella. Alice is out there sighing autographs," Rose informed me, chucking as she checked her makeup.

I smiled. "Everyone looked gorgeous. Um, what do we do now?"

"Alice wants us to put on our best gowns, go back out, and schmooze. Do you need any help getting your dress on?" she asked, helpfully.

I shook my head. "I'll be out in a minute."

Later, I was sipping a flute of champagne as two guys told me how much they loved my gown. While I was telling them about the detail, I noticed Edward stalking over. On instinct, I tensed up. Fortunately, Marcus saw and rerouted Edward.

We had our celebration dinner in a private room of The Four Seasons. Edward and I arrived arm in arm, because the event was going to be in the society papers. We needed to seem like a happily married couple so he would win the State Senate seat.

As the cameras flashed, I tried not to look too uncomfortable. My husband looked as handsome as ever in his black, Italian cut Armani suit and shiny wing-tipped shoes. His red tie perfectly matched my dress and his hair looked a little windswept. All in all, he oozed sexiness and class. Numbly, I let him hold me while I pretended to be the perfect trophy wife again. Inside, I was screaming to get away.

Once I got a minute alone, I deserted Edward and went to stand out on the balcony. The night was chilly, but my white fur stole kept me warm. The brightness of the moon only highlighted the tears that fell on to the bodice of my gown.

"My family hates me again. I hope you're happy," Edward snarled, interrupting my thoughts.

I turned around, taking in his manly beauty. How could he be so ugly inside? "Do I look happy? I'm just trying to hold myself together. I didn't want to tell anyone, but they asked. I'm tired of lying for you all the time."

He stepped up to the railing, which made me move further towards the pillar in the middle. The night became a whole lot chillier when Edward was near. I briefly wondered when I'd started being so afraid of my husband. The man I loved had turned into a monster whom I could barely stand.

Sighing, he offered me his glass of champagne. "Drink this, it'll warm you up."

I took the glass, downing it in one gulp. "Why do you hate me so much, Edward? I saw it in your eyes at the show. Next week is our one year wedding anniversary. We aren't going to make it to two, are we?"

He was about to answer when we were interrupted by the three men I'd seen with him earlier. They looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't place them. Each one had different features, but they were all tall with broad shoulders.

Edward blinked and ushered them forward. "Bella, these are my cousins. They flew in a day early to catch the show. The blond one is Isaac, the black-haired one is Sebastian, and the ginger is Achilles." I stepped forward, nervously offering my hand.

Achilles was the first to speak. "You did a great job tonight on the stage," he said, kissing my knuckles. They were still a little bruised so I'd worn evening gloves.

"Pleasure to meet you," I replied, giving him a little curtsy.

Neither Isaac nor Sebastian approached me. They seemed to be having a private conversation with Edward over my head. I tried not to fidget as Sebastian's gray eyes appraised me. Isaac, on the other hand, barely glanced my way.

"Fuck! Don't be rude motherfuckers. This is my wife. Shake her hand," Edward ordered, putting his arm around me. They complied but there was no love in it. I decided to avoid those two as much as possible.

Luckily, Jasper came to ask me to dance. I mumbled a goodbye and let him whisk me away. Edward looked like he wanted to follow, but Isaac stopped him. I felt the rift between us grow stronger.

"Why didn't you come to me?" Jas asked, as he waltzed me around the room.

"I didn't want you to hate Edward. He's sick, Jas. He needs help," I explained.

My brother shook his head. "You and DC come first. I think you need time away from Edward. When I heard everything, I wanted to bash his head in with a bat. Alice and I had a huge fight. She had to climb on my back to stop me from going after him."

I began to cry, so he gave me his handkerchief. "I just want to have a nice holiday. Caius and Marcus are handling Edward. He won't physically hurt me again. Please, Jas, give Dante his first Christmas drama free."

Around eleven, people started to clear out. Alice was crowned the new queen of fashion and our show got several glowing reviews. Fortunately, I didn't see Edward or his evil cousins the rest of the night.

When I got home, I checked on my little lamb. Then I went to the bathroom, washed off my makeup, took down my hair, and changed into one of Edward's tee shirts. As usual, I went to sleep crying.

**~~~_LAMTAF_~~~**

A few days later, I was awakened a little after six in the morning. Edward was next to me petting my hair. I wanted to be angry, but the truth was I'd missed his gentle touch. Sighing, I let the tears fall.

"Wake up, babydoll. I have to take you somewhere," he murmured, kissing my cheeks.

I closed my eyes and asked him if he was kidding. He smirked and said a bunch of stuff in Italian. When he finished, he leaned down and kissed me on the lips. I grabbed his shirt and pushed him away.

"No! We aren't going to have sex. This always happens. You treat me like dirt and worm your way back into my heart. I don't want to go anywhere with you!" I yelled, sitting up.

He began tugging on his hair. "I just need… It's not… Come on, I'm taking you and DC somewhere. I've spent the last few days with my fucking Godfathers, Bella. It's been hell being away from you, from our son. Please, just do this for me."

Warily, I walked to the bathroom and started getting ready. Soon, I was clad in a pair of jeans and a green Christmas sweater. Edward had taken the time to get Dante dressed. My little lamb looked so cute in his red onesie and bubble coat as he suckled a bottle of breast milk.

"I'm ready," I said, putting on my coat.

Edward handed Dante to me, and then we rode the elevator downstairs. It was two days before Christmas. I'd been forbidden to decorate the Penthouse. When I'd asked about a tree, Esme said she had something special planned.

After putting our son in his car seat, we were off. I dozed as we listened to Edward's personal mix of classical music. DC was quiet, only occasionally burping or babbling gibberish. He seemed happy.

All too soon, we were in front of our new mansion. It was finally done. The first thing I noticed were the potted poinsettias leading up the drive. They immediately put me in a holiday mood. Smiling, I got out and looked around while Edward carried Dante.

We made it to the front together. Edward opened the door and sat my little lamb's car seat on the floor. Confused I looked back at him. He looked frightened.

"Can I, um, carry you over the threshold? I understand if you don't…"

I held out my hand. "Maybe this can be our new beginning. I'm ready."

Being in Edward's arms again was a peaceful experience. I was willing to try and leave the hurt and anger in the past. My husband needed me to battle his demons. Somehow, I'd have to find it in myself to really forgive and forge ahead.

After taking our little lamb out of his carrier, Edward softly kissed the back of my hand. "This is your dream house, Bella. If you want anything added, you let me know. Mom did a fucking fantastic job of decorating all this shit."

My emotions were out of control as I took in the traditional Christmas trees leading up the stone steps. Our baby would play and run when he was older on those stairs. Crying, I held on to the banister and began my walk to a new life.

Each room was unique and beautiful. Later, I planned to go into detail with my sisters, but in that moment all I wanted was to fawn over the beauty. There were marble pillars, cashmere rugs, diamond and crystal chandeliers, and intricate stone fireplaces among other things.

"Thank you, Edward. I love this. I love you," I mumbled, sobbing into his chest.

"Babydoll, I'm not worthy. All the shit I've said over the last few days, you know none of it is true. I love you so much. We can try to pretend otherwise, but you know we'll fail. I need you,"

A few minutes later, we made it to the nursery. The walls were pale blue and all the other furniture was absolutely gorgeous, round white canopy crib was perfect for our little prince, and the bookshelves were already filled with my childhood favorites.

Because Dante started to whine, I sat down in the rocking chair and unlatched my nursing bra. Edward relaxed on the rug while I fed my angel for the first time in his new room. Dante guzzled until my breasts were empty.

"I think all this excitement has given you a big appetite," I mused, kissing his chubby fingers.

Next, Edward showed me the master bedroom. It was fit for a Queen. I thought it might be too girly for my husband, but he assured me he didn't have a problem with it. The huge canopy bed and the equally decadent furniture had probably cost a fortune. I recognized some of the items from a catalog Esme had given to me.

Two French doors opened up to a balcony with potted plants and more expensive furniture. The master bathroom was bigger than the house I'd grown up in and had a separate door which led to the toilets and Bidet.

"Edward, is that platinum?" I asked, pointing to the second toilet.

He smirked. "I had to make it a little Don friendly. You didn't notice, but the faucets and fixtures in the bath area are pure gold. I want the best for my family."

"Whatever," I said, rolling my eyes. The bathroom led to a massive walk in closet filled with wardrobes, clothes, and shoes.

By eleven, we'd seen every inch of the mansion. Edward informed me that we'd be spending Christmas in Aspen, because he wanted to give me real snow this year. For the first time in weeks, I was excited.

**_~~~LAMTAF~~_**

After leaving the house, we boarded the private jet. The rest of our family and friends were already en route. Dante and I slept the whole plane ride. When I woke up, Edward was playing with Dante. I smiled, taking a picture of both of my guys.

_We're going to make it._

Thankfully, we only had a few steps to walk to the waiting SUV. It was very cold outside, and I didn't want my little lamb to get sick again. As we drove to our destination, I pointed to the snow men along the road.

"Look, jelly belly, that one looks like you," I teased, ticking my angel.

He laughed and stuck his middle finger up. Glaring, I looked over at Edward who was trying very hard not to burst out laughing. I was still pretty sure my baby's first word wouldn't be a good one.

Soon, we pulled up to three large mansions facing a frozen lake. Fat snowflakes fell from the sky as Edward's men helped us to the door. Esme, Di, and the rest of the family were in the living room decorating a tree.

As quick as possible, I shrugged out of my coat and boots. I loved this part of Christmas, and we hadn't gotten the chance to do it last year. Excitedly, Alice took my hand and gave me a popcorn string. Di stole Dante the minute he was in the room. I smiled as she showed him an angel ornament.

Throughout the rest of the day, we just enjoyed everyone's company. Since the house was warm from the heat and fire, we let Dante and Sasha roam around in their diapers. They looked adorable in their little Santa hats while they played with boxes.

Edward sat in an armchair talking to his cousins as Onyx weaved in between his legs. "Damn demon cat," I heard him mumble before he pushed her to the side.

I giggled, which made Chara notice me. I asked her about her son's behavior. She told me they were close to Edward and very protective. She also promised me they'd come around or else she'd beat them into submission.

Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, I went to find Edward. Our little lamb was asleep and I wanted to talk. My husband was in the cabin's library, reading a book. Casually, I stood in the doorway and cleared my throat to alert him to my presence.

"What are you reading?"

He held the book binding up so I could see it. "Socrates. I'm trying to get into a political mindset. We only have until February."

I began playing with the hem of my shirt and avoiding his gaze. "I'm happy for you, but… I don't trust Gina."

Smiling, he winked at me. "She has been punished for messing with you, and I promise her ass is toast after I win."

"I'm holding you to that," I replied, temporarily placated by his words. "I also want Anna gone. Edward, we'll never heal if all these outsiders keep interfering."

He nodded slowly. "I'll do anything you want, babydoll.

"Dr. Uley says if I'm confirmed as bipolar, I'll have to take medicine. I'll be a fucking freak. Are you okay with being married to a psycho? It's already enough that you joined the Mafia by becoming my wife."

"You're not a psycho, Edward. When I called you 'crazy', I was mad. I'm sorry. I'll be here for you. I take our vows very seriously," I said with conviction.

My plan to not have sex with Edward was quickly dissolving. Everything he did made me wet. I bit down on my lip while he stared at me from across the room. We were both two seconds away from jumping each other.

Slowly, I walked over to the couch and crawled into his lap. He beamed, showing me his full set of perfect teeth and that long tongue I loved so much. Any resistance I had worked up was gone in the blink of an eye.

Feeling like a failure, I mumbled, "Fuck me", and began unbuttoning his designer pants.

He leaned forward and whispered, "I thought you'd never ask, babydoll," as I sprung him free.

I hated myself for what I'd become. Because of him, I knew what drug addicts felt like. My lust was beyond any control. As mad as I was with Edward, I was still going to let him have my body. Besides, it seemed to be the only thing he wanted these days.

_He doesn't want me anymore_, I thought sadly.

"I'm going to fuck that tight little pussy of yours until you can't walk. Is that what you want, Bella? Do you want me to take off my belt and spank your ass while I fuck you?" He asked, palming my breasts.

"No."

He stopped moving and cocked his head to the side. "What the fuck, Bella? My balls fucking hurt."

Grinning, I captured his tongue and bit down lightly. "I want to tie you up with the belt and use your cock to fuck my ass. How does that sound?"

I watched Edward's eyes go dark as he gaped at me. "Let's take this to the bedroom, Mrs. Cullen. It's going to be a merry-fucking-Christmas, indeed."

We were headed to the door when Edward stopped and turned around. He looked at the empty leather recliner in the corner and began speaking. At first I thought he was joking, but as I looked in his eyes it was clear that he was serious.

"I fucking told you, Dad. She's a keeper. I've loved her from the very first moment. I'm not gonna be like your sorry ass. Leave me the fuck alone!" he screamed, pointing at the empty chair.

By the time we locked eyes again, my Edward was back. I was extremely frightened about what I'd just witnessed and no longer in the mood for sex. Somehow, he must have known because he didn't push me to do anything as we crawled into bed.

"How long have you been seeing your father, Edward? " I asked quietly, stroking his soft hair.

He grimaced. "A few months. I'm sorry, babydoll. Don't tell on me." He sounded like a helpless child.

"Why…Why did you reveal it to me? I'm not complaining, but I have to know, sweetheart."

Edward made a sound, like a mix of a sob and a whimper before his eyes became wet. "I can't do it anymore. I'm fucking scared, Bella. Don't let them put me back in the white room. I just want to be fucking normal." I did the only thing I could do; I kissed my husband and told him I'd never let anyone hurt him.

As he finally calmed down enough to sleep, I stared at the snow falling outside. In my heart I knew I wasn't strong enough to withstand the storm coming, but for now I was content to hold my Edward and give him a little more normal.

* * *

_I'm still a little too sick for Stoli, but I have Nyquil. Sometimes all we can do is be there for the one we love. The family is mad at Edward, but this is BPOV. They are trying to be nice in front of her. I know Babydoll and Donward aren't perfect, and that's why I love them. Perfection is an ideal, not reality. Let me know what you think. Review and get Dante cuddles. Don't review and Edward's crazy cousins will haunt your dreams. It's always your choice. *Huggles*_


	10. Chapter 9: Silent Night

_**A/N: **I'm back. It hasn't been too long since an update. instead of making this just another Bella POV, I decided to go back and forth so you can see what they're both thinking during the holiday. We are about 4 chapters away from the **Prologue** for those that asked. As always , pictures, etc. are on my **Blog**. Please stop by and play around. Also check out my new Banner on my Profile made by the lovely **SoapyMayhem.**  
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_**Warning:** This chapter has some hard to deal with infidelity themes towards the end. Do not read if that is a trigger for you. _

_Thank and huggles to **Dayjolie, Catseye, Lo, Viv, Lebelles, Ash, Purpling, Rache, Skye, Char, EBM,** and all my twarlings that keep me motivated. A special thanks to **PennyP**. She knows which part :) Also thank you all for the lovely reviews last time. It means a lot to an author, even if you just leave a smiley face. _

**Recs (All in my favorites)**

**_Strawberry Wine _**_by Kas90-Bella and Edward fell in love at 17 but parted. When they're 40, they reunite. Can they find love again among all the baggage? It's so sweet and for those that love Southern Fireman Edwards._

**_She Waited for Me _**_by AnastasiaCullen88-Sweet one shot of how love can survive against the odds. _

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight or Kristen Stewart's tortilla soup. Yet I somehow find the will to go on._  
_

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**Silent night, holy night  
All is calm, all is bright  
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child  
Holy Infant so tender and mild  
Sleep in heavenly peace  
Sleep in heavenly peace  
Silent night, holy night!  
Shepherds quake at the sight  
Glories stream from heaven afar  
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!  
Christ, the Saviour is born  
Christ, the Saviour is born  
Silent night, holy night  
All is calm, all is bright  
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child  
Holy Infant so tender and mild  
Sleep in heavenly peace  
Sleep in heavenly peace**

Silent Night-Il Divo version

_**EPOV**_

Any day now, it was all going to disappear. I knew the lies and deception would catch up with me and destroy the only good thing I'd ever built. Bella is, was, and always will be too fucking good for me. My family deserved much more than I gave them.

"What are you thinking about, pretty boy?" Sebastian asked, interrupting my inner monologue.

I slapped him on the back of the head for the stupid ass nickname before answering. "Bella mostly and Dante, too. I'm not good for them. They need fucking love and stability. All I do is hurt them."

He rolled his eyes as he passed me another cigar. Since most of my family hated my fucking guts, I was spending a lot of time with my cousins. Growing up, I had been really close to Sebastian and Isaac. Achilles was cool, but he was only twenty-three and a momma's boy to boot.

Last night had been difficult, so I couldn't sleep. When I woke up, I came downstairs and found my cousins. We'd been in the fucking billiards room since four in the morning, just talking and shit. But now it was close to seven and I knew my babydoll would be up soon.

"Why the fuck did you marry her? Despite what mom says, you can get the fucking milk without the cow. Now you're fucking stuck with that woman for life," Isaac said.

Instinctively, I leaped off the chair and pushed him down on the ground. "Don't you ever fucking talk about my Bella like that! She is my heart and soul. I'll fucking slit your throat if you ever disrespect my wife in front of me again. Swear, motherfucker!"

Holding up his hands in the universal sign of defeat, he promised to be cordial. Sebastian had to pull me off of his brother. Even with the high, I was fucking pissed. My cousins had always been important to me, but I'd drop their asses if they thought they could come and insult my babydoll.

"Fuck man," Sebastian began, "You talk about her worse than that when you're drunk. We just thought she was fucking using you or some shit. You know I don't trust bitches, especially since that Cecile cunt lied about being pregnant. She got mom excited and it was all a fucking scam."

I took a few puffs of the cigar and then passed it to Isaac. It was my way of saying his bullshit was forgotten for now. The next time wouldn't be so pretty.

"I don't care what the fuck I say about my babydoll when I'm drunk. I still fucking love her to death. You only have to take one goddamn glance at Dante to know he's mine. I'm the only fucker Bella ever let touch her."

Isaac began snickering while Sebastian gestured to his fucking cock. "You wanna borrow my pair. I see Bella has taken yours. When did you turn into such an emo pussy? Snap out of it," he ordered, passing me a glass of Scotch.

I declined the liquor and stood up. "Fuck both of you. I'm going to see if my angel is awake. Don't' fucking spoil this Christmas for her or I'll bring down the wrath of Satan on your heads, got it?" They both promised to behave themselves.

On my way to the bedroom, I stopped in the kitchen to get some hot chocolate for Bella and a coffee for me. Esme, Di, and Chara were sipping tea and talking. They all looked up warily as I entered.

Deciding to make amends, I took a seat. "Look, I know I fucked up. I should have never put my hands on Bella. This year has been really hard for us. You know I might be bipolar, right? Well I've promised Bella I'll do anything to get better and save our relationship. Fuck! I know I don't deserve her or Dante, but I can't seem to let them go.

"I want to say sorry to all of you," I said, pointedly looking into each of their eyes. "I have to become a better man for them."

My mom shook her head. "You always promise these things- just like your father, but you don't deliver. I'm not one of those mothers who will sit back and let her son do anything! Bella is my daughter, and I have to protect her, too. Domestic violence is very serious, Edward. When your wife says no, she means no. You can't just do whatever the hell you want your whole life. I don't want to get a call telling me you're lying dead at some whore's house. I can't go through that again."

Di rubbed Esme's shoulders before looking over at me. "I feel the same, sweetheart. We love you, but Marcus and I can't sit back and let you hurt your wife. He wanted to be harder on you than he was, but I talked him into giving you another chance. I see so much good in you, but it's being clouded by the darkness again. You can fight this."

The kitchen was silent for a few minutes. Then Sebastian and Isaac wandered in to get some breakfast. Chara made them sit down and went to the stove and grabbed three plates. She set them in front of us. I stared at the bacon, eggs, and muffins knowing I wouldn't be able to eat anything. I felt fucking nauseous.

"And don't be listening to these two idiots. They don't know a thing about love and marriage," warned Chara, pointing at her sons. "I don't think they'll ever give me grandchildren. Achilles is my last hope."

I sighed and went to the stove to prepare a _Cioccolato Caldo _for my babydoll. It had been ages since I fucking cared for her the way she deserved. As I added the cocoa powder, milk, and sugar to the saucepan, I planned ways I could redeem myself. It was never too late to be a better man. I was lost in thought when mom walked up behind me and added the chopped dark chocolate. We worked together to finish the task.

A few minutes later, Esme took my hand and kissed the palm. "I love you no matter what... I just want you to get the help you need. Carlisle and I have been reading up on bipolar disorder. It's very manageable, but you can't keep using drugs and liquor as a crutch. Bella and Dante love you so much. Don't throw that away for a life of emptiness. You'll live to regret it.

"Here," she said, handing me a big green mug with a Christmas tree on it. "She'll like this one. Don't forget to add a lot of whipped crème and some chocolate shavings on top. There are chocolate chip muffins in the pastry box. Make sure my daughter eats. She's lost too much weight worrying."

Nodding, I prepared everything and put it on a wooden breakfast tray. I left just as Chara was really starting to chide Isaac and Sebastian. I didn't fucking pity them the lecture. At least I'd given Esme a cute as fuck grandson.

_Speaking of my son_... He was sleeping peacefully when I stopped by the nursery. I sat the tray down for a minute so I could lean down and kiss his forehead. He was still so fucking new and perfect. I was going to fight like hell to make sure he didn't end up like my sorry ass.

"It's inevitable with us. The sins of the father shall be visited upon the son," _he_ quoted proudly. I didn't turn around, because I was too fucking scared of what I'd see. Deep down I knew all these visions were in my head, but they seemed so real.

I shook my head while rubbing my son's soft cheek. "No," I said quietly. "He doesn't have to be like you or me. Stay the fuck away from my family. You're fucking dead, and I avenged you. Leave me the hell alone."

"I love you, _mi figlio_. You're the best part of me," I whispered, leaving the room.

The sight in the bedroom almost made me trip and fall. Bella was splayed out on her back, breasts on full display. She had a nursing towel next to her, so I assumed she'd fed Dante sometime during the morning while I'd been gone. _No wonder he's sleeping so peacefully_.

"Fuck," I hissed, trying to make my morning erection deflate. My babydoll's little red boyshorts weren't helping the situation in my pants either.

My angel turned over and snuggled deeper into the sheets. I didn't want to wake her sexy ass up, but she needed to eat. Esme was right about her losing too much fucking weight. I hated myself for being the cause of it all.

Leaning down, I kissed the skin over my wife's heart. "Wake up, babydoll. I have breakfast."

She made a disgruntled noise and turned to the other side, facing me. "Edward? What time is it? Where is Dante?"

I looked down at my Audemar Piguet watch. "It's about twenty past seven. Our baby is sleeping like a log. I just checked up on him. Come on, these muffins smell fucking amazing and I made you hot chocolate." That woke her up.

"Um, just let me go to the bathroom and wash up," she muttered, walking away.

When she returned, I had everything sat up on the table. The fire I'd started earlier was still blazing, and the room smelled like fresh pine. I'd moved the couch and table so we faced the large glass windows. Heavy snow fell nonstop as the sun began to rise. It was fucking beautiful.

I was adding sugar to my coffee when my babydoll joined me. Unfortunately, she'd put on a gray cashmere robe that came mid thigh. Her hair was piled on top of her head, and her eyes were sparkling with emotion. I knew she wanted to talk about last night but it could wait.

"This is so delicious," she moaned, taking a large sip of hot chocolate. "I missed this. The muffin is great, too. Thanks for bringing me breakfast, honey."

I mock frowned, looking down at my mug. "There's just one problem. I forgot to get milk, and I can't drink my fucking coffee without it."

"I'll go..."

Shaking my head, I pointed to her breasts. "I want the best milk."

Giggling, Bella shyly opened her robe. After all the shit we'd done, she was still so innocent. "Do you want me to just, um, squirt it in?"

I leaned down and began licking and suckling both her nipples. The taste was indescribable. I'd drink her breast milk all the fucking time if DC didn't need it more. Maybe I was a sick fuck, but I loved sharing something so intimate with my wife.

As my babydoll started moaning, I retrieved the cup and held it under her right nipple. Then I applied a little pressure until her breast expelled milk. I squeezed while she writhed with suppressed need in her seat. Pretty soon, I had enough to satisfy me.

"Best cup of coffee ever," I quipped, taking a large gulp.

Bella, seeming to come out of her sexual haze, swatted me away, and redid her robe. I pouted a little as she began to eat. Four muffins later, we were both full. It had been a while since I'd had a nice, relaxing morning with my babydoll. I enjoyed it immensely.

"Are you ready to talk about last night?" she asked, pulling a blanket over both of us.

I looked away. "I... I know he's not really there, but it seems so real. It sounds just like him, and fuck... I just can't escape the fucking bullshit of the past."

Bella pulled me down so that I was laying in her lap. "You're stronger than that, Edward. I know it's hard, but you have to fight. Is your father the only dead person you see?"

Closing my eyes, I decided to tell the truth. "No. I see that fucking kid that I killed. Sometimes, he morphs into an older version of Dante, and you turn into the mother. It's like every time I close my eyes, this bad shit is waiting for me. I'm slowly descending into Hell. You should run, take DC and leave my crazy ass. I'm not good for you."

"We've already established I'm not going anywhere, and you're not crazy, Mr. Cullen," she said in a soothing voice, lightly scratching my scalp.

"Almost a year ago today, I stood before God and pledged myself to you for better or worse. I love you. Real love isn't about running away when times get rough. We need each other more now than ever."

Her words made me feel so damn good. "Babdyoll, I love you so fucking much. How the hell did I get so lucky?"

She smiled and kissed my nose. "You're really handsome, and I love riding your thick cock among other things. Are you going to spend Christmas Eve being miserable, or are you going to fuck me until I pass out again?"

I sat up so fast; I almost broke a rib. "You still want me after all the bullshit?"

"Edward, I'll always want you. You've told me the truth about everything, right? We can move on from here."

I wished like hell I'd never let Gina touch me. She was going to fucking ruin my marriage and my life if given the chance. The lies were piling up, and my wife would be the ultimate casualty. Even still, I couldn't find it within myself to tell her the full truth. She'd send me away if she knew I'd been with another woman.

"I...I... Gina is fucking fired as soon as the election is over. I had some goons go to her condo and bleach all her fucking clothes and shit. She'll have to wear a uniform to work from now on. Uh, I also told her that she has to give you a formal apology. If that's not enough punishment, you can devise your own. I hate the fucking bitch. She... She's jealous," I stammered, desperately trying to get air into my lungs.

Bella used a cloth to wipe my sweaty forehead. "Hey, calm down. Where did that come from? We've been through too much together to let some skanky campaign manager break us apart. Swear to me you never cheated with her, and I'll let it be."

I pulled her into my lap, looked deep into her big brown eyes, and fucking lied. "I never touched the bitch.

You were right; I shouldn't have hired her or Anna. When the campaign is done, I'll get new employees. You can even help me pick them."

She beamed, pulling me into a warm hug. "And I swear I never think about Giles as anything more than a friend. I'd never cheat on you, Edward. Other men don't compare. When you walk into a room... my heart flutters. I never thought I'd feel so alive again. Don't ever leave me. Promise."

I snorted. "I talk a good game, but I couldn't if I tried. You own me; heart, body, and soul, Mrs. Cullen. Let's get back into bed so I can show you just how much."

She was taking off her robe when the baby monitor came alive. Dante was screaming his little lungs out, and I knew it'd be a while before daddy got any pussy. Groaning, I adjusted myself and walked to the nursery to get my son.

"Glad you still know how to cockblock daddy," I said fondly, lifting him out of the bed.

He just looked at me for a minute before laying his head on my shoulder. It made me feel fucking fantastic. DC loved me unconditionally. As I rubbed his back and grabbed a blanket, I thought about how much I'd already failed at being a father.

_Maybe Bella is right; It's not too late._

When we got to the bedroom, I expected my son to reach for Bella, but he surprised me by clinging to me. My babydoll just smiled and laid back down. I did the same, placing _mi figlio _on my chest. He turned head and started sucking his thumb. Being with them was just fucking great.

"He missed you, Daddy," Bella whispered, caressing Dante's cheek.

I kissed the back of his head and held him closer. "I missed him, too. I love the both of you so much. Why don't we sleep a little longer. We can go sledding, and whatever else you want to do, later."

"Good idea, honey," Bella said, moving closer. Ten minutes later, we were all asleep.

**~~LAMTAF~~**

_**BPOV**_

"He's not good for you! Jake and I have known you longer than any of them. We're worried about you, darlin'. I want you to leave Edward," Jasper demanded, standing up to his full height.

My brother and former best friend were currently locked away with me in the study. They had taken it upon themselves to hold an intervention of sorts. After the first minute, I'd been reduced to tears. How could my brother ask me to leave my husband? Sure, Edward and I had problems but so did every couple.

Jake nodded from his seat next to Jas. "You should have come to us when he first started hurting you! Domestic violence isn't something that should be condoned. The old Bella would have given him a right hook and left. What's changed, sweetheart?"

Sniffling, I lowered my head. "I love him! I love him so much it hurts. He's not well right now. Edward... Dr. Uley thinks he's bipolar. He wouldn't hurt me if he was in his right mind. I'm not going to give up and leave him. We have a child together. Please, both of you, let it go. I just want to be happy."

"And what about the next time when he seriously hurts you or worse? You know as well as I do that Edward does drugs and partakes in too much drinking. He cares about no one but himself. I won't let him drag you and my nephew to the bottom. Bella, you have to leave," Jas said, finally taking his seat.

"I won't."

Jasper and Jake shared a look. They'd used to gang up on me when I was teenager. I didn't understand why they were so adamant. Edward and I had been through so much together. It would be cruel of me to abandon him when he needed me the most. _Besides, I love him_.

For several minutes it was silent while Jas paced the room. I fidgeted and played with my perfectly manicured nails. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jake pleading with me. Grimacing, I gave him a weak head shake letting him know I wouldn't back down.

"Charlie always said..." Jasper began, taking a minute to pause. "He said the worst part would be dealing with your stubbornness. I promised dad I'd take care of you. How do you think I felt when I heard Edward put his hands on you, held you down, and tried to rape you? I can't let that go. I don't even want to be in the same house as him. I'm trying to be cordial for you and Alice's sake, but I want to bash his head in with a baseball bat."

Why did he make it sound so bad? "You... You don't know everything. He won't hurt me again. Please, Jasper, don't do this."

Jake walked across the room and sat next to me. Slowly, I looked up into his kind black eyes. "Bella, you know he's right. If Edward really loved you, he wouldn't put you at risk. If I felt like hurting Leah, I would leave to keep her safe. Think of Dante, he needs his mother."

"No." It was a single but powerful word which separated me from my brother.

Jas nodded and walked towards the door. "Fine. Go on pretending that everything is all right. I know what it's like to be scared and feel small. I never wanted this for you. I can't continue to support this marriage. I'll stay for Christmas, and then we're leaving. Don't worry, I'll still be here to pick up the pieces when you come to your senses. But...right now I can't do this. I love you too much to see you hurt."

After my brother left, I broke down. I cried so hard Jake had to go get Leah to help comfort me. The pain in my heart was deep, and I wanted to lay down and not worry about any of it. Christmas Eve was officially ruined!

Pretty soon, I managed to get myself together and went upstairs to change. On the way there, I bumped into Angela. She hadn't joined that ambush in the library. Wearily, I clung to her as she helped me into jeans and a hoodie.

"Put on your brave face, Bella. I know about Jasper and Jake. They asked me to join, but I declined. I trust you to come to me when you really need help. I'm here for you," Angela promised, kissing my cheek.

We headed to the movie room to find the men. There was some big football game playing which they all had to see. I'd let Edward take Dante because he sorely needed to spend time with his daddy. I wasn't stupid, though. I'd asked Em to keep an eye on everything, especially Edward's creepy cousins.

When we got to the den, I immediately spotted Isaac holding my little lamb. Dante, dressed in a little football jersey with the word 'Cullen' on the back, was standing up and using Isaac's shoulder as a crutch. He looked so happy as he babbled and pumped his fat legs.

Smiling, I walked across the room and took a seat next to Isaac. "I'll take him now. Where's Edward?"

The other cousin, Sebastian, practically rolled his eyes. "He's in the fucking bathroom. You keep a pretty tight leash on him."

Before I could say anything, Emmett came over and took Dante. I silently thanked him as he went back to sit with the rest of the men. It was a good thing he intervened, because I was about to have it out with these evil assholes.

"Come with me," I commanded, pointing towards the door. When we got to the hallway, I pounced. "How dare you! You've clearly hated me from the start. I haven't done anything to either of you."

Sebastian snorted. "You have the whole damn family wrapped around your little finger. I know your kind. This innocent, small town girl bullshit doesn't work on me."

Isaac nodded, drawing my attention to him. "You're using Edward to advance yourself. He's dated supermodels and actresses. Why would he want you? You obviously played him hook, line, and sinker."

Angrily, I advanced towards them "Is that what you idiots think? Do you know what I've gone through to be with Edward? My baby and I almost lost our lives! I've been kidnapped, beaten, nearly raped, and had friends die, but I handled it all. I don't care if Edward dated _supermodels. _Do you think any of them would still be here? Get the hell away from me before I hurt you."

We were all having an intense staring game when my husband joined us. After walking over to me, he lifted my chin and searched my eyes. I tried to hide my tears but failed miserably. I saw a calm determination enter his green orbs. He was pissed.

"What the fuck did you say to my wife?" Edward snarled, pushing me protectively behind him. "You motherfuckers must have a goddamn death wish. Tell me!"

Glaring at me, Sebastian spoke up. "We told the fucking truth. She's a gold digger. You said it yourself; she'll have you committed and take everything. We've always had your back, Edward."

"I was drunk. I didn't mean that shit. You can't disrespect my wife. In the old days, you would have owed her a kneecap. Fuck!"

I hugged myself, while regarding the men as dangerous wolves. "I'm sick of it all. Any which way I go, someone is mad at me. If Edward is stupid enough to believe I married him for money, there's no point in me trying to salvage this relationship. Sort it out among yourselves, I don't care anymore." Fortunately no one bothered to follow me.

I spent the rest of the afternoon cooking Italian foods like cioppino, vegetarian lasagna, and salmon mousse.

The warmth and comfort of the kitchen was just what I needed. After awhile, I'd forgotten all about my earlier arguments.

"_La Vigilia_ , or Christmas Eve as you call it here, is a very special holiday in Italy. We generally abstain from all meat except seafood until tomorrow. Last year we were so busy we didn't get to do the ritual, but I think we need it now," Di explained as she helped me add shrimp to the cioppino. .

Esme smiled and began rolling out dough for the garlic bread. "I'm so happy we're all safe and together. Family is what's really important. We have so many different cultures this year, but everyone has agreed to have an Italian _La Vigilia_."

Chara laughed. "I'm still making my famous Hummus and pita bread. Bella, you're all skin and bones. You can't bring us more babies unless you take care of yourself. Lord knows my boys won't be making me a grandma anytime soon."

I had just put the lid on the soup when Edward walked into the kitchen. He handed our little lamb to the doting women before asking to speak with me. Nodding, I followed him quietly.

"Bella, I'm sorry. They're going home after Christmas."

Shrugging, I turned my back on him. "It's forgotten. We're going skiing before dinner. I'll be upstairs getting changed. Um, see you out there."

As I turned to go, he gently grabbed my arm and turned me around. "Bullshit! Don't shut me out, Bella."

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

_**EPOV**_

Since Bella had never seen me ski, I showed off a little bit-not that she fucking noticed. And why the fuck did she have to look so hot in her pink ski suit and hat? It was taking all of my fucking willpower not to throw her over my shoulder and stomp away.

At least my son looked happy. He was decked out in a blue, insulated snow suit and so bundled up it was a miracle he could see. I watched broodingly as my wife pointed at Jasper going down the hill. I'd asked her to go up in the lift with me, but she fucking declined.

After two hours out on the slopes, we were all tired and hungry. I didn't manage to attract my wife's attention, but several female skiers had discretely slipped me their phone numbers. I ignored them all.

Fortunately, Rose and Alice took Dante so I could get dressed for dinner with Bella. We were in the same room but fucking miles apart. I sat on the bed and unabashedly watched her lotion up and brush her hair.

"You're even more beautiful than the day I married you," I said, staring at her supple tits.

"Thank you," she replied stoically, avoiding my eyes.

"Damn it! Talk to me. You're like a robot with your fake smiles. Hit me or something. I deserve it."

After a few minutes, my babydoll sat down next to me. She was only wearing a pair of blue cotton panties. In no time, I had her bare in front of me as I kissed my way down her body. She didn't fight or push me away, so I grew bolder in my exploration.

"You have the cutest bellybutton," I mused, dipping my tongue inside. Her hips came off the bed.

"Lick me," she whispered, guiding my head down to the place where she was glistening for me.

After putting her legs over my shoulder, I spread her lips and sucked on her clit. She buried her hands in my hair and held me close. It didn't take long for me to fall into our old rhythm. I lapped her silken flesh like a starving man while she whimpered and moaned my name.

About fifteen minutes later, she pushed me away. "I can't... I can't do it. I'm sorry, Edward."

Dazed, I sat up and looked down at my angelic babydoll. Her cheeks were flushed the most beautiful pink and her big, brown eyes were as bright as twinkling stars. The stubble from my chin had left a few stray red marks on her pale upper thighs. She looked magnificent.

"I don't understand, babydoll. What happened?"

Shaking her head, she walked into the bathroom. The click of the lock was my only answer. Frustrated, I went to another room to dress. It was obvious that Bella hated my fucking guts. Knowing I couldn't satisfy my wife made me feel like a fucking failure.

"I'm so useless," I muttered, putting on a clean button down.

"It's not you, it's her."

Sighing, I closed my eyes and willed him to go away.

"You can ignore me all you want, but you know I speak the truth. Men like you and me aren't meant to settle down. I tried it with Esme and look what happened. Son, listen to your dear old dad. I've always known what's best for you."

Grudgingly, I turned towards the voice. He was standing by the window looking at the fresh snow fall. Edward Sr. wore the same clothes which had been by his bed the day he died. The black V-neck sweater and crisp white pants looked so real, even though I knew it was just another fucking hallucination.

"Think about what I said. Merry Christmas, Anthony." With that, he was gone.

My dad had been the only family member who called me by my middle name. He'd told me it was strange calling another man by his name, but Esme had insisted I be a Junior. I was just glad Bella hadn't keep it going. Edward Masen was a cursed name, and I wanted better for my sons.

**~~_LAMTAF_~~**

Dinner was an extravagant affair. Everyone dressed up in holiday colors. My babydoll wore a pretty red dress which showed off too much tit for my taste, but I didn't have the heart to make a fucking scene.

Dante and Sasha, both in their high chairs, sat next to each other and giggled like mad. Whatever the hell they babbled to each other about was quite entertaining. My boy looked so damn handsome in his little Armani suit.

The food was probably delicious, but I didn't fucking taste it. I had too much shit on my mind-it was a wonder I didn't bolt. Jas kept shooting me daggers every time I looked his way, and my cousins weren't any better. When the main course was served, Marcus stood up to say a prayer. I zoned out, staring at my angel across the table.

"Look at you, you adorable cherub. You like this bread pudding, don't you?" Bella cooed as she fed our son. From what I'd seen, DC wasn't too picky about anything. He just liked to eat.

"Not another cutesy baby nickname," Em said, groaning as Rose cut him a too small piece of pie.

My babydoll giggled. "I can't stick with just one. Besides, it's helping his vocabulary. I already know he's going to be super smart."

Colin and Brady nodded enthusiastically. "He can go to school with us and draw."

Laughing, Em explained to them it would be a few years before Dante would be joining them in their scholastic endeavors. Luckily more pie smoothed out any problems.

After dinner, we retired to the living room. It was family tradition to open one gift on Christmas Eve. Warily, I noticed Sebastian was giving Maggie more attention than needed. Liam looked like he was two seconds away from kicking my cousin's ass; Damned if I was going to stop him.

Every one was sitting around having a good time. I was angry that Bella had chosen to open Giles' gift instead of one of mine. I hated the fucker with a passion. What if he tried to take her away from me?

"Thanks for the golf clubs," I said, hugging Liam for his gift. He made me join him on the links every time I was in Boston.

"It won't help you beat me, but you'll look sharp." Siobhan rolled her eyes and asked her husband to be civil.

It turned out Giles had bought Bella an antique globe which opened to reveal some classic travel books. It disgusted me to watch my wife gush over his shit. I almost threw my glass against the wall when she left to call him.

Fortunately, the gift Esme pulled for DC was from me. Since he loved the damn monkey Em had given him, I'd decided to have a stuffed tiger cub made for him. It looked real and played music.

"Look what daddy got you," Esme bragged, bouncing my son on her knee.

I walked across the room and took him from her arms. It was a good sign he bought the tiger with him. Happily, I watched as he gnawed on the nose. The, I pressed the button which made it growl. My son pulled back and looked up at me.

"Fuck, did that scare you?"

"Language, Edward," Esme admonished, shaking her head.

I pressed the button again, and this time Dante tried to imitate his new toy. The noise he made sounded more like a grunt but it was still fucking cute. Before long, he was down on the floor showing his new toy to Sasha.

When my wife returned, she was practically glowing. Internally I seethed knowing that another man had put a big smile on her face. I briefly considered having Giles bumped off. He and the Vince motherfucker were after Bella. They were probably waiting for me to screw up.

After excusing myself, I went to sit outside. The sun had already set and more snow was falling. It was cold, so I was wearing the Burberry coat Bella had given me last Christmas. Although shit had been bad, we'd been more together back then.

"Can I join you?" Bella asked, walking up behind me.

I nodded, scooting further down the seat to make room. "I'm surprised you're talking to me. I guess Giles didn't have more time for you."

She sighed and passed me an insulated mug of hot chocolate. "Look, I didn't come out here to argue. Tomorrow is our anniversary. We can at least..."

Leaning over, I kissed her hard on the lips. After awhile my lips gentled, but my need for her was primal. She was wearing too many layers for me to get at any skin, so I tongue-fucked her sweet mouth, pulling her into my lap.

"I want more," I began, nibbling on her neck. "I want more kids. You can come off that birth control shit. Dante needs siblings, and I want us to have the big family you dreamed about. Please."

She tugged on my hair until we were eye to eye. "No. I have enough to deal with now. More kids aren't going to fix our problems. Do you think I want to raise a bunch of babies alone? You're barely around for Dante as it is, Edward. I'm sorry, but there's no way I'm having more children with you."

The pain was immediate. I felt like that bullet I'd taken was re-lodged inside my chest and digging a hole into my heart. The woman I loved, my angel, didn't want to bear my seed. "Never?" I asked dumbly.

"I don't know. We need to take time to work on our marriage. I'm so scared that we're screwing up Dante. When I said I wanted a big family, I was a naive girl. It's harder than I thought... Everything is harder than I thought it would be," she admitted.

The demon was clawing to come out. I had to make Bella angry enough to leave, or I was going to fucking hurt her again. She deserved so much better.

"Is that why your pussy doesn't work for me anymore? Maybe you're thinking about fucking Giles or some other asshole, is that it? Fuck," I snarled, pushing her away.

Angrily, she stood up and marched away "You always revert back to that. Did you ever think that maybe I can't orgasm with you because you treat me like shit? No, it has to be my fault. Either I'm not good enough for you, or I'm a cheating whore. I'm tired of always getting the blame. Maybe... Maybe my pussy just doesn't want your overused cock anymore!" she screamed, slamming the door.

"Fuck me," I mumbled aloud. She was right about the kids. Our shit was too fucked up.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

_**BPOV**_

I woke up practically dry humping Edward. He was stark naked and hard as a rock. After our fight last night, he'd avoided me. We did manage to go to bed together and not alert the family to our latest argument.

"Bella," he moaned sleepily. "What time is it?"

I looked at the beside clock. "It's a little after six. Go back to sleep. The kids won't be up for at least another hour."

He rolled over, pulling me to his chest so we were spooning. "Happy Anniversary, babydoll. I know it hasn't been anywhere near perfect, but there's no place I'd rather be than next to your sexy ass. I love you."

Sniffling, I turned over. "I love you, too. I'm sorry about last night. I don't want anyone but you. We can talk about the birth control issue later."

Edward had changed so much during the last year. His jaw was stronger, more defined; His chest had become more muscular and his shoulders wider. Though his unruly copper hair was still out of control and always falling in his emerald eyes, just the way I always liked it.

"You're still really handsome, old man," I teased, tickling him.

He caught my hand and moved it down to his throbbing manhood. "All my parts still work, too."

Giggling, I ran to the bathroom. He caught me before I could close the door. The need was building. I wasn't exactly sure why I couldn't orgasm with Edward anymore, but I was determined to try.

"Fuck you look sexy," he mumbled, advancing towards me.

"Do you like what you see," I asked, prancing around in my skimpy tank and underwear. A few seconds went by before Edward really noticed what I was wearing.

"Those aren't the same ones. I stole those," he confessed, pointing at my pink and yellow smiley face panties.

I pushed him against the door, biting down on his chin. "They're not, but you remembered. That was our first kiss, in the tiny room in my old apartment. You said: 'I bet I know why they're smiling'. I felt like I was burning up inside when you were pressed against my body. It was also the first time I physically wanted a man. I've never wanted anyone else since that day."

He smiled so wide his eyes crinkled. "It was one of the best days of my fucking life. I tried to stay away, but I couldn't. You were so fucking sweet to me."

We kissed and dry humped for a long time. Then Edward went and got us some champagne while I ran a bath. When he returned, I was in the tub playing with the bubbles. He dropped his robe and stepped in to join me.

No words were needed as I climbed into his lap. With my head thrown back, I felt all the familiar ten inches pushing into me. I was still amazed my body could take so much. I assumed we women were just made to fit the man they loved.

"It's perfect," I whimpered, rolling my hips as Edward suckled my nipples. My breasts were surprising full, which meant milk was leaking heavily.

"Please, come for me, babydoll," he begged as he made circles around my swollen nub.

This time I had no problem. The strong orgasm ripped through me before I could catch my breath. I screamed, bucking my hips and clinging to Edward's massive shoulders. He buried his head in my neck and continued pumping as I rode out my bliss.

"Again," I demaded, getting up on my knees. Edward, knowing what I wanted, gently pushed my head down before slowly entering my rosebud.

"Fuck you're tight," he hissed, rubbing my clit hard.

I pushed back against him. "More. I want all that you have to give."

Suddenly, he was pulling my wet hair and pounding me into the marble. If it wasn't for the bath pillows, I probably would have had bruises. I gave myself to him wantonly and asked for nothing in return. When I felt his hands close around my neck, I knew he was close.

"You like fucking my little ass. It's always yours. No one else can have it," I whispered.

He roared and pulled me upright. A few seconds later, he exploded within me. If anyone had of heard us, they would have thought we were killing each other. His orgasm triggered my own, and I came until my knees went numb.

"Merry Christmas, Edward," I giggled, kissing his nose.

He slapped my butt and pulled me into his lap again. "Marry Christmas to you, too, Mrs. Cullen. You will definitely kill me."

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

The rest of the day was like a dream. Edward was perfect, and no one bothered us at all. Dante loved everything he got and had fun playing with Sasha. There were no arguments, and Carlisle and Edward played music on the grand piano.

I watched as Riley presented his sister with a necklace of the family crest. Sasha, like Dante, was in her oral phase so everything went in her mouth. Kate and Riley decided it would be best if she kept the necklace for when she was older.

Bree had confided in me that she planned to give Riley her virginity for Christmas. After making sure she was completely prepared, I'd given my blessing. She was only eighteen in body, but in her mind she was more mature than me.

I quickly noticed Sebastian had a thing for Maggie, which she exploited outrageously. I wanted to laugh every time she made him slowly open a gift so the paper could be reused. It served him right for being such an ass earlier.

Edward made all his cousins apologize when they presented me with my gifts. Only Achilles at least seemed sincere. The other two had obviously been punished by Chara, and she was being very short with them.

"Do you like your gifts?" Edward asked nervously as I stared at the antique goose feather quill set he'd just given me.

"I love everything. I have so much, though. You don't have to buy me more silks and diamonds. I love you."

My little lamb was so cute. The kids got the most presents and took turns playing with each other. It was a chore keeping it all out of his drooling mouth, but we managed. In the end, the kids did what they always do and had more fun with the bubble wrap and boxes than anything.

"We love you, Dante," I cooed, kissing his chubby cheeks. "Merry first Christmas, and many more to come."

Around one, we were all starved. Caius took his turn carving the large turkey while Liam did the glazed ham. I tried not to notice they were both way too good with butcher knives. Apparently, Mafia training came in handy in other facets of life.

"Merry Christmas, sis and Dante," Jasper said, hugging me before taking his seat. He'd pointedly ignored my husband.

The meal was spectacular. I ate way too much and almost fell asleep at the table. Di convinced me to let my little lamb try some pumpkin pie filling, and to the surprise of no one he loved it. His sweet tooth rivaled his daddy's.

After dinner, Edward presented me with a honeymoon present. He was taking me to London, Paris, and Athens, Greece over the course of a week. We'd spend New Years Eve in London and be in Greece on the actual day.

Frowning, I gnawed my lip while looking up at my husband. "I don't want to be apart from Dante. Can't we go another time?"

Smirking, my husband looked at Esme and smiled. "We knew you'd say that. The whole family is going. We can take DC on our day trips, and his nana can watch him at night. It'll be perfect."

Squealing, I jumped into Edward's arms. "I can't wait to go. Thank you."

Later in the evening, we gathered in the parlor. Edward played Christmas hymns on the piano while we all sang along. I looked around at all the people I considered family and smiled. God may have not have given me a big family, but I'd made my own flawed version. Truly, I was happy.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

_**EPOV**_

"_Should old acquaintance be forgot, __and never brought to mind?Should old acquaintance be forgot, and old lang syne," _We sang boisterously as the the fireworks exploded over the London eye.

Our honeymoon had been fucking fantastic. My babydoll was insatiable. We spent every minute that we could making love. Lucky for us, Paris and London were full of old buildings with hidden rooms and doors. We'd even fucked against a tree in the park.

"Happy New Year," my wife bellowed snuggling closer to me. I wasn't about to take her down where some motherfucker could touch her ass, so we were watching from a Penthouse suite.

Our son had fallen asleep around seven after a day of exploring. The last time I's been in London, I'd thought both Bella and Dante were dead, so I was determined to show them the good side of one of my favorite cities. Although, it had taken a fucking miracle to get my babydoll out of all the old book stores.

"When I was twenty, I thought about living here and going to Oxford," she mused, sipping her drink. "Now I'm glad I didn't pursue that whim. It's nice to visit, but it's not home, you know?"

I kissed her forehead. "Nowhere is home for me without you. I love you, Bella."

That night, we made love feverishly. I felt like one of us was saying goodbye again, and I was so fucking afraid it was me. Maybe I wasn't strong enough to beat a mental disorder. I had told so many fucking lies, I couldn't keep them straight. Plus the hallucinations of my father were earning me a first class ticket to the padded room.

The next day, we took the jet to Athens. I showed Bella and Dante all of my favorite haunts. As a child, Edward Sr. had brought us here frequently. I had spent some whole summers with Chara and Paulo. I used to get so tanned I could almost pass for a local.

Bella took tons of pictures of the Acropolis and the mountains. I bought her everything she looked at, much to her complaint. Dante just babbled and occasionally whined until we took him out of his pram. We'd bought him a proper British one in London, and he fucking loved it.

I wasn't just in Greece for the honeymoon. The Volturi had major deals going down. We were getting deeper into the weapons and rare jewel and art trade. My Godfathers didn't want me around too many drugs, so the bulk of that business was moving up to Portland. We already had a few Oregon elite in our pockets.

"What are you thinking about?" Bella asked, breaking me out of my musing.

"Mafia business. You don't even know how deep it goes, babydoll. All these people who nod to you do it out of respect. A lot of the old Greek families deal in slavery and shit, but the Volturi is against it. We're not fucking boy scouts, but we do have some morals."

My angel wrapped her arm around my waist and kissed my lips. "I want to learn. I'm a Mafia wife for life. Marcus says I need to know it all. Teach me."

I grimaced and closed my eyes. "I want you to stay as fucking innocent as you are. Once... Once you know all this shit, you'll never be the same."

She hugged me close. "A wife is to be a help for her husband. If I carry some of the burden, you won't have to do everything alone. We can start slow. At least teach me to shoot that gun you make me carry."

I picked up my son and placed him back in the pram. "What are we going to do with mommy?" He gurgled before inserting his thumb in his mouth and turning to smile sweetly at Bella.

"He knows who has the power in this family," Bell teased, ribbing me. We spent the next few hours exploring and being a real family.

_**~~LAMTAF~~**_

"_Kali Xronia!" _I yelled, walking into Paulo and Chara's compound. Here, the old families still had a lot of servants. Bella was overwhelmed at the number of teenage girls who came to take Dante away from us. I assured her everything would be all right.

"It's been so long. You look more like your father every day," one of the priests acknowledged, kissing me on the cheek. "I trust you are not taking after him in any other ways. That man would not come to confession to save his life."

Hastily, I introduced him to my babydoll as Chara led them both to the kitchen. While they were busy, I took a moment to check my Iphone. I had several missed calls and messages, mostly shit about HADES. We were selling out of contriband fast.

I was almost to the end when I saw the message from Marcus informing me the mother of the boy I'd killed had died of a heart attack. I immediately ran to the nearest bathroom and punched in the mirror. I didn't even feel the fucking pain until I looked down at my bloody knuckles. It was all my fucking fault that the woman had died.

I was wrapping my hand when I got a new text message from Anna, my club secretary. She'd just called to wish me happy holidays. _Bitch_.

I took a long look at myself in the mirror. Bella deserved so much better. She shouldn't be in love with a monster or want to know the Mafia rules. I wasn't worthy. If I really loved her, I'd never touch her again. No matter how much I pretended otherwise, it was all fucking wrong!

Before I could talk myself out of it, I dialed the number. "I got your message, and I've always known what you want. Gina's a fucking untrustworthy bitch, but you're better, right?"

I could hear the smile in her voice as she replied, "I can keep a secret, Mr. Cullen."

I knew once I went down this road, my babydoll would be gone for good. Deep, gut wrenching sobs took over my body. I trembled so hard I had to sit down on the edge of the bathtub. She'd hate me forever. There would be no more love and happiness.

I decided to do the best thing I could for my family-I would grant them freedom, from me and my demons.

"You better be damn sure, because the consequences of disobedience are lethal, _Capisce_?"

* * *

_I'll be with the Stoli. Please review to get cute Dante smiles. Don't review and you can have the skanks. It will get worse before it gets better. Press the green button and share your thoughts. *Huggles*_


	11. Chapter 10: Black Hole Sun

_**A/N: **Please read the information on Bipolar disorder on my Blog (link is on my Profile page) It may help you to understand Edward's mania a little better. Also, listen to the chapter song and play around while there. I'm not excusing Edward's behavior at all, and Bipolarism isn't the only reason he's cheating. He's always had problems with sex, and the mania just magnifies it. Bella is coming out her fog and will see that she can't help Edward. They both make mistakes, like all human beings. The part towards the end is a full circle for Edward. Go back and read Chapter 2 of the original **LAMTAF** and you'll see what I mean.  
_

_I'm sorry for bringing everyone down from the **Breaking Dawn** high. The movie was awesome! I hated the book, but seeing it brought to life was perfect. The actors did an amazing job. I laughed and cried.  
_

***WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS DRUG USE, ABUSE, INFIDELITY, ROUGH SEX, AND MORE. DO NOT READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE SUBJECT MATTER.**

Rec (In my Favorites)

_**Arms **by VirginiaMay _**-**_ Bella is an Olympic sharpshooter who witnessed her parents murder and must join Witness Protection. She gets sent to live with the Cullens and falls for their son, Edward, who is also her teacher and thinks she's a teen because of her cover. Great fic with lots of angst and romance._**  
**

* * *

**In my eyes, indisposed  
In disguise as no one knows  
Hides the face, lies the snake  
The sun in my disgrace  
Boiling heat, summer stench  
'Neath the black the sky looks dead  
Call my name through the cream  
And I'll hear you scream again. **

**Black hole sun  
Won't you come  
And wash away the rain  
Black hole sun  
Won't you come  
Won't you come**

Black Hole Sun- Soundgarden

_**EPOV**_

Shit was bad. Shit was real bad. Thank fuck I'd taken Bella and Dante on one last family vacation because when they found out all the shit I'd done, they'd never want to see me again. It was almost as if I could feel the gates of Hell closing in on my pathetic ass.

"Edward, are you listening to me?" Dr. Uley asked, waving his beefy hands to get my attention.

I scowled menacingly. "I fucking heard you. According to the cunts at the American Psychiatric Association, I'm Bipolar. Big fucking deal! What should any of this shit mean to me? I always knew I was fucking psycho."

He sighed deeply, looking at me as if I were someone to be pitied. "Clearly, you're in the middle of a manic episode right now. You're exhibiting poor temper control and judgment. When was the last time you had a good night's sleep? Edward, you can't go on like on like this. You're no good to Bella or Dante in this state."

After pacing the room a few times, I sat in the chair across from him. "What do you want me to do? The election is next month, and I have a million fucking obligations. I haven't been home in four days because I'm scared I might accidentally hurt my babydoll or our son. I'm at the end of my fucking rope, Doc. I might as well let them go. Look at me," I gestured to my bloodshot eyes, "I'm a goddamn monster."

"Let me admit you. I have a friend who works for a private facility that can be discreet. I'm sure everyone will understand if you decide to drop out of the State Senate race. Your mental health is as, if not more, important as your physical health. You don't need the extra stress right now."

I bit down on my lip and tried to contain the rage burning like fire in my veins. "Fuck no! I'm not going back to a goddamn white padded room. I spent fucking months in one thinking Bella and our son were dead…"

Dr. Uley held up his hand. "It would just be a regular room. I think it's best if you're supervised. We can start you on your medication in a controlled environment for your own safety."

I shrugged and walked to the door. "I'm not doing this shit. Do you know who the fuck I am? I'm not one of your little emo pussy patients having problems because his mom didn't give him the tit enough. I have responsibilities which are bigger than me. Fuck you and fuck therapy. I'm done!"

Surprisingly, the Doc followed me outside. "I can't treat you anymore. If you don't want help, I can't help you. I'll be in touch with your uncles. I thought you loved Bella and Dante, but you don't love them enough to fight."

I laughed as I walked through the elevator doors. "You don't know shit. I love them enough to set them free. I'm fucking bipolar and insane. They deserve better. I've always known it, but I was a greedy motherfucker. I wanted it all, and sometimes shit doesn't go according to plan. A leopard can't change his spots. Goodbye, Dr. Uley."

After the session, my mind was on autopilot. I called the bitch who was currently sucking my cock and gunned it to our private spot. A low level mule in the warehouse district owed me money for a few guns, so he'd agreed to let us use his condo. All my fucking goons were loyal to Bella and the Volturi, so they wouldn't have hesitated to rat my sorry ass out in a minute.

I had a key, so I let myself inside. There was already a fresh baggie of coke set up on the coffee table. After I tossed my suit jacket, I sat down and snorted a few lines. I didn't stop until I was numb and all thoughts of my family left my head.

_Let's do this shit._

The bitch arrived on time. She was tall, tanned, and blonde-basically the exact opposite of… _Not __going__ there_. Scowling, I snorted three more lines of coke and took off my pants. I felt fucking weightless and shit.

"Last time I just sucked you off. Don't you want to feel my tight pussy?" the bitch asked while taking off her clothes.

I narrowed my eyes. "Shut up. You're just a means to an end. I doubt your pussy or anything else on your body is tight. Walk over to the fucking couch and we can get this shit done, _Capisce_?"

She fucking pouted. "I just want it to be good so you'll keep me. I used to fuck a big boss in Miami but he got too old."

I didn't need to hear anymore. "No one here fucking cares, Barbie. After this shit, I'm done with you. Learn not to talk so much and maybe someone will keep your ass. By the way, I'm not planning to pound your pussy."

"You're not?"

I turned her around. "Fuck no. Now, bend over while I slip on a Trojan." I may have been ready to cheat on _her_, but my cock needed more motivation.

"I don't have all day here," the whore whined.

Groaning, I walked over to the couch, sat down, and snorted more coke up my nose.

_**~~LAMTAF~~**_

I awakened face down on a hardwood floor. Bleary-eyed and naked, I sat up and tried to remember where the fuck I was but everything came up blank. I remembered getting high and fucking some bitch but nothing after that shit.

"Damn it," I mumbled, trying to stand up. The room was spinning rapidly, but I was able to realize I was in my lair.

"You disgust me, Edward," Caius hissed, making his presence known.

I blinked a few times until I could see him clearly. He was sitting in a corner of the room, his long white fingers tapping the keys on a smartphone. I knew he was fucking pissed because every few seconds he'd glance at me and sneer.

"I'm informing Bella you're working on a project with me. I'm doing this for her, because she doesn't need the added stress."

_Bella_. Hers was definitely not the name I wanted to hear right then. Groaning, I managed to get to my feet. There was a black cashmere robe strewn over one of the chairs. I immediately grabbed it and pulled it on to cover my body.

"H—How is she? Is Dante okay?" I asked feebly. If my dumbass had picked up the phone, I would have known how they were doing.

Caius shrugged. "How would you be if Bella was out _fucking_ other men while you were busy running a business and taking care of a baby? I hate to say this, but you're exactly like your father. It's not something you can be proud of either.

"Go to the bathroom and clean up. When you return, I'll have my brother on the speakerphone. I can't force you to be a husband and father, but I don't plan to let you get away with this shit without consequences," he threatened.

The man in the mirror looked like a fucking corpse with pale skin and deep purple circles under the eyes. I also felt like my insides were on fire. Quickly, I kneeled by the toilet and vomited until my body felt a little better. When I was done, I noticed my nose was bleeding.

"Damn it," I mumbled, using a fresh hand towel to wipe up the mess.

A few minutes later, I returned to the living room. Caius was pacing the floor, talking to Marcus about my behavior. I sat down on my leather recliner and buried my head in my hands. Deep inside I knew my path of destruction would only lead to ruin, but I was almost powerless to stop the mania.

I was dozing off again when I heard Marcus' voice on the speaker. "The election is next month, Edward. If we weren't so far into this, I'd have you pulled. Are you sure that you can handle it?"

"I'm ahead by a long shot. The voters care more about how much money is in their pockets than my fucking morals. My economic plan for the district went over well. The Senate shit is the easiest part of my fucked up existence right now."

Caius frowned. "And tell me, are you planning to have a fall like Eliot Spitzer or John Edwards? Do you expect Bella to stand by you when your dirty laundry is aired out to dry?"

I bit down on my tongue until it bled. The pain helped ground me to the present. "Hello no. Those two fuckers didn't have the Mafia or know how to keep shit secret. They were dumbasses."

He frowned at me.

"And I don't want to talk about Bella."

Marcus' booming voice came over the fucking speakers, which made the pounding in my head even worse. "We don't care what you want, Edward! The truth is…you can't be trusted. You know what happens to Mafioso who start taking their own supply. We already lost your father to a life of excess, and we will not lose you!"

Caius turned to me. "_Dà__ retta, _ Bella has been meeting with a financial analyst two times a week per our request. Marcus and I believe it's in everyone's best interest for her to be trustee over all the accounts. From now on, she will dole you out a monthly allowance. If she chooses not to keep paying on a property or possession, she can sell it without your permission. We have to make sure Bella and Dante are provided for and that your wealth isn't used up by drugs and women. I've seen billionaire Mobsters lose everything to vices."

He had to be fucking kidding me. "You can't do this! _La__ Camorra_ comes before everything. I am a Don. I'll go to Naples and plead for the C_apo__ Bastone_ to take my side."

Both Marcus and Caius began speaking a mix of Italian and Latin which made my head spin. If I'd have been sober, I would have known what they were saying. But because my brain was out of whack, I couldn't understand half of the conversation. In the end, I knew the odds definitely weren't in my favor.

"It is done," Marcus affirmed strongly. "You will do as we say or consider yourself in violation of your oaths and the _Omertà._ We are still in charge of the Volturi, and our word is law. Go home, get cleaned up, and spend time with your family. _Dio __non__ voglia, _I get a call from another frantic whore saying you passed out after a coke binge."

When the call ended, I asked Caius to give me a few minutes to take a shower. Before I went back in the bathroom, he checked for hidden drugs. Honestly, I was out of supply and since they were on to me it was going to be harder to get more. Thankfully I had contacts and connections my godfathers didn't know existed.

The hot water felt good on my sore muscles. I cringed when I saw pink lipstick on the edge of my shaft. The fucking bitch had obviously tried to blow me when I was getting close to passing out. The whole thing made me feel sick again, and I would have vomited if there were any food left in my system.

A few minutes later, I was dressed and staring at myself. "_Vaffanculo_," I hissed, putting my fist through the glass mirror. I looked down at my bloody knuckles, expecting the pain to come, but I just felt numb.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Caius yelled, practically breaking the fucking door.

I held up my hand. "I'm sick, Cai. Have you spoken to Dr. Uley?"

He went to the bathroom cupboard and retrieved the first aid kit. Then I sat on top of the toilet seat while he checked for broken bones and wrapped me up. Looking down at his white head, I remembered him from my childhood, always making sure that I was safe.

"Thank you," I whispered, flexing my fingers.

He sighed and stood up. "Dr. Uley told us everything we need to know. Marcus wants you to check into a care center once the election is over. We'd planned to have a long sit down, but you know things in Naples are going bad quickly. Marcus may not be available. I'll go with you, and you're allowed to have visitors."

I nodded. "Do you think it will help? I'm fucking crazy. I see Edward Senior and hear his voice. Bella and Dante need a real man, not some fucking psychotic that can't be trusted. I hurt her, Cai. I can't say I won't do it again. I know I have to let her go, but she's my heartbeat. Losing them will probably kill me."

Suddenly, he grabbed my head and shook it. "Fight! I watched you hunt down dozens of men to get revenge when you thought they were dead. You would have gone to the ends of the Earth to get them back, and now…now you give up like a coward. _Che __cazzo__ stai__ dicendo?"_

Angrily, I pushed him away. "You don't know what it's like to be me. I can't fight fucking Bipolarism. What am I going to do, huh, take medication the rest of my life? I may have passed this shit down to Dante, and he's so innocent. Bella won't want me anymore."

He shook his head sadly. "You are the only one holding yourself back, Edward. Bella has loved you through everything! It takes a special kind of woman to love men like us-not for what we can give them, but just for ourselves. You were lucky enough to find it at a young age, and here you are throwing it in her face."

I didn't want to hear anymore bullshit, so I went to the bedroom and began throwing things in the hamper. It was time to have the blindfolded maid make another cleaning visit. I'd been sleeping in the lair most nights, so the place was a goddamn mess.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

An hour later, we pulled up to the mansion. The day was cold with a light drizzle, but my new butler, William, still came out to see if I needed assistance. Stoically, I handed him my bag and let him lead me into the house. As usual, everything was pristine and polished.

"I know it's not my place, Sir, but Mrs. Cullen seems ill. Several family members have been trying to get her to eat or rest, but she'll do neither. I only speak of it because I'm worried for her health," William confessed as he carried my bags to the bedroom.

I grimaced, imagining my wife up late worrying about my stupid ass. I definitely wasn't worth her tears.

"Thank you. I want you and Hilda to take care of her and Dante when I'm not around." William promised he would and left me at the door.

It was a little after nine, so Bella was already in bed. I smiled when I saw DC sleeping next to her. His little thumb was in his mouth and every once in a while, he suckled. I wondered if he ever dreamed of me. It wasn't like I was around much in real life.

My babydoll must have heard me, but she never looked my way. All her attention was focused on whatever she was watching on the wall-mounted Plasma screen. I took a moment to just look at her, and goddamn she was as beautiful as ever. No woman could make an oversized t-shirt and messy hair look so fucking sexy.

_Let her go._

I was about to speak when all of a sudden, I heard my voice coming from the speakers: "_I__ love __you__ so __much __that __I __think__ I'll__ burst__ with__ the __feeling.__ Tonight,__ I__ give__ myself__ to__ you, f__orever_." Bella was watching our wedding video.

"Why did you lie to me?" she asked quietly, finally turning to look at me. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying and she looked like she hadn't slept in months.

"Babydoll," I sighed, closing the distance between us and kneeling beside her side of the bed.

Bella recoiled. "No! I'm not your babydoll anymore. I've tried to make this marriage work, but you go off and do what you want, when you want. Dante and I aren't just some toys you can keep for when you decide to play house. We deserve better than what you're giving us."

This was what I wanted, but it still hurt. "I'm Bipolar. Dr. Uley wants me to check into a facility and start medication. I don't expect you to stay with me through that shit."

My babydoll surprised me with a hard slap on the cheek. "You think that's why I'm mad? I vowed through sickness and in health. Do you know I got Dante to bed early last night and made dinner so we could talk about this? I brought home books on Bipolarism from work and did some research on my laptop. I was here for you, but you decided not to come home! I'm always here for you! It hurts, Edward. This," she pointed to her heart, "hurts. I can't continue loving a man who clearly doesn't feel the same."

Our loud voices must have woken DC up, because he began wailing. Bella turned away from me and picked him up. I sat on the floor and watched her coo and breastfeed him until he fell asleep again. Then she left to put him in the nursery.

When she returned, I was sitting on my side of the bed watching the video. The day I married Bella had been one of the best days of my life, even though it wasn't under the best circumstances. Captivated, I stared when her face lit up as we kissed at the altar.

"I want to burn that disc and all the pictures. I just feel…angry and betrayed. I know you've been with other women. I can smell them on your clothes. You knew this would hurt me! I was willing to put up with anything except infidelity. You've broken me, Edward, and I don't know if I can ever be whole again," she sobbed.

For some reason, I felt like I needed to lie. "I haven't cheated on you, Bella. You're the only one in my heart. Always."

She scoffed and got in my face. "Lies! I may have been in your heart, but how many have been in your pants? It disgusts me to look at you. I would have never given another man what I gave you! The very thought makes me ill."

I smirked arrogantly. "For all I know, you may be riding Giles' cock while I'm away. Don't put all the blame on me-you pushed me away. After DC was born, our sex life began to suffer." At that point, I wanted to provoke her enough to hit me again. My whole body craved the pain.

"You're blaming our son?" she asked incredulously. "I made time for you. Sure, I can't fuck you all times of day, but you can't say I didn't try hard to balance my wifely duties with motherhood. You're an ass! Say what you want about me, but never imply that our baby had anything to do with us ending up here.

"As for Giles, I wish I'd have met a man like him instead of you. At least I wouldn't spend every night worrying and crying my eyes out."

I was shocked by how much her admission hurt me. "Well, why don't you go be with that fucker, or are you worried that his dick won't be as big as mine? I bet he can't make you scream like me."

Bella turned away. "You're vulgar and mean. I don't want to do this anymore. You hurt me, I hurt you, remember? It didn't work out well for either of us the first time. I'm just…cold. Your love used to be the warmth that sustained me, but now…now I'm cold and empty. I thought losing my parents was the worst pain I could ever experience but watching our marriage crumble hurts just as badly."

I closed my eyes and sighed. "What now?"

She cried out loudly, collapsing on the bed. "You don't even want to try?"

"What for? I'm done with this shit and so are you. It's only going to get worse. I don't want you anymore. I don't want this…this family life. I thought I did, but I changed my mind."

Bella began laughing humorlessly. "So all of this was just a whim, huh? I saved your life in Italy and almost lost mine in Russia. You promised me and your son forever, but you didn't even give us two years. What do I tell Dante when he asks about his father?"

"Tell him I am a goddamn loser, and he's better off without me. I…I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm moving back into the condo. I'm so fucking sorry, Bella. I should have never hired you at the club, and you would have had a happy life with some other motherfucker," I admitted sadly.

While she sat crying, I threw some things into my Gucci rolling luggage. I never wanted anything as badly as I wanted Bella, but all I did was hurt her. It was more humane of me to let them go and find their happiness. My life was toxic, and I'd be damned if I drag my family down into my personal hell.

"She'll thank me in the end," I muttered to myself as I zipped up the luggage.

Before I left, I leaned down and kissed my angel's forehead. "_La calma è la virtù dei forti_. The calm is the virtue of the strong. There is no stronger person alive than you, my angel. I love you. I love you enough to set you free. Sleep, my Bella."

.

Languidly, she wrapped her small arms around my neck. "It's all a nightmare, right? When I wake up, you'll be here with me. We'll work out all our problems. _Te__ amo_, Edward," she whispered, closing her glorious brown eyes.

"_Te amo_, babydoll. I'll never stop."

After I left her, I went to the nursery, picked up my son, and rocked him gently. He never opened his eyes, but he did smile. I hugged and kissed him, breathing in the innocent scent that only new humans seem to exude. He was perfect in his pureness, and I never wanted to mar his countenance.

"I love you, Dante," I whispered, laying him back on the bed. Then I put on the lullaby I wrote for him and left the room. I'd still see my son, but it would be best for everyone if my visits were kept to a minimum.

On my way to the car, I stopped to call Jasper. His sister would need him during these hard times. "I'm leaving, Jasper. She needs you. Take time off from HADES. I'm sorry. I know I'm not good for her. You've always been right about me."

He cursed loudly. "So what, you get to just walk away? Do you know this will destroy her or do you not care? I already picked her up from Charlie's death. Fuck, man, you're her husband. I hate you for this. Don't worry, I always take care of Bell." With those parting words, he hung up on me.

My phone rang nonstop as I drove back to the city. I knew Esme, Alice, and all the rest would be after my ass, so I ignored everybody. Instead, I turned on some Chopin and used the last of the cocaine in my glove compartment. By the time I arrived at the club**, **I was numb**.**

Unfortunately, Felix was waiting for me in the private parking area. "I can't work for you anymore," he said, handing me his badge.

I nodded because I had known it was coming. "Jane could use the help. Protect them with your life."

"You're making a big mistake. She won't wait for you forever," Felix warned as he walked away.

Anna was already at her desk when I got there. I closed the main door and unlocked the door of my office. She was talking to me, but I chose to ignore the bitch. A few days after I got back from Greece, she sucked me off at her desk. I'd had to drink a whole bottle of Scotch to get it up that night.

"Hey, Daddy, what's wrong?" she asked, walking up behind me.

I turned around and grabbed her shoulders. "I'm not your fucking _daddy_, understand? Go back to your desk and leave me alone."

Unperturbed, she batted her fake lashes and stuck out her chest. The red dress she was wearing barely covered her tits and ass. She looked grotesque and I wondered why I ever hired the bitch in the first place.

"I can make you feel so good. Whatever Bella has done…"

In a flash, I had her bent over on the desk. Snarling, I ripped the dress, slipped on a condom, and entered her anally. She cried in pain as I ripped through her insides. I fucked her hard and fast, not wanting her to get any pleasure. I even ripped the condom off and came on her sweaty back. She was a fucking whore and deserved to be treated as such.

When it was over, she turned around and stared at me. "That…that hurt, you asshole! What the hell is the matter with you?"

I used Kleenex to clean off my dick and discarded the condom. "I told you not to ever say my wife's name.

You can't fucking listen! Our shit is done. Finish out the week, and then I'll have you relocated out of state. I can't stand to look at you."

The bitch started giggling. "Look at you, aren't you a big man! You act like I'm the only whore in this room. At least I'm honest with what and who I am. You're nothing but a liar, and I'll make sure you pay for this. I'm not afraid of you, Edward Masen-Cullen."

"Is that a threat?" I asked quietly.

"It's a promise."

I leaned in until we were nose to nose. "I've made more important people than you disappear. I may not kill women, but I know of ways to make you wish you were dead. Go after me or my family and your ass is mine. Get the fuck out of here."

After scrambling away from me, Anna packed her shit and left. She'd had to wear an overcoat since I ruined her dress. Still in a bad mood, I picked up the scraps and discarded them in the trash. _Out__ of__ sight,__ out __of__ mind_.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

Hours later, someone knocked at the door. I started to tell whoever it was to go away, but I'd been smoking weed and drinking-I wanted a little company. Unfortunately, the person at the door was not someone I wanted to see.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Gina?" I asked, closing the door behind her.

She sat down in the guest chair and lit a fucking cigarette. "I don't like how we ended things. I was scared…and I may have overreacted."

"Overreacted? Bitch, you called my wife! After we get through this campaign, I never want to see you again. We didn't have anything special. I stuck my dick in your mouth, and you did your duty. It's over."

She stood up to leave, causing me to notice her talon, which were painted black with a white feather drawn on the tips. I closed my eyes, imagining them digging into my back until I bled.

Slowly, I unbuttoned my shirt. "Come back."

"What?" she asked, her eyes going wide when she saw my chest.

I pointed to her hands. "I know you've had some Dominatrix training because D has a big mouth. I think you know what I want."

She walked over and sat on the edge of the desk. I almost whimpered when the first nail penetrated my hard flesh. I thought of Bella's tears, saying goodbye to DC, and watching that wedding video. Each time the pain came, I felt a little bit better.

After what felt like hours, I looked down at my bloody chest, wincing when I felt the same scratches on my back and shoulders. Gina started at me as she cut off what was left of her talons. I was thankful for the peace and quiet because it let me soak up the hopelessness of the situation.

"You're sick, Edward. I can't do this again," she sighed, using some antibacterial stuff on her hands.

"I don't expect you to do it again. I'll put some extra money in your check. Keep this between us, not even D can know."

When Gina left, I locked up everything and entered the lair. The place was clean, so I knew the maid had been by recently. There was even food in the pantry. I heated up some shrimp scampi and ate by the fire. The urge to call my babydoll was strong, but I fought it. Besides, she'd be asleep at this hour.

I took a quick shower in scalding hot water, savoring the burn. Then I put on some boxers and climbed into bed. The silk sheets and soft bed were too good for me, so I laid down on the floor instead. It was cold and hard, just like I felt inside.

"It's not so bad, is it, Edward? Men like us are born to ride alone. I always knew you'd end up here. _Tempo__ al__ tempo,__" _my father said from his place in the corner. I'd gotten used to seeing him now, so it was sort of a comfort.

"Goodnight, old man."

_**~~LAMTAF~~**_

"So, Mr. Cullen, can you give our readers any tips to a happy and successful marriage?" I was being interviewed for a local women's magazine which had endorsed my campaign. The sheer irony was not lost on me.

"The wife is always right," I laughed, playing up my audience. "Make sure that you make time for each other. As you all know, Bella," It physically hurt to say her name, "and I have a precious little boy. It's harder for parents to find time to be intimate, but we make an effort."

The interviewer loved it. "Mrs. Cullen is certainly a lucky woman. You make a beautiful couple. I just wanted to steal Dante away when I interviewed her at your house."

A few more forced laughs and I was done. I wasn't the first politician to tell bold faced lies to the public, and I sure as shit wouldn't be the last. The only hard part had been talking about Bella. Even though I was an ass, she'd agreed to keep our problems private so I could win the Senate seat.

Fortunately, Gina stayed back to give some pre-approved quotes which would make me look even better. It had been a week since the talon incident, and she'd been strictly professional. I'd actually been surprised she hadn't tested me. Anna, on the other hand, had had to be forcibly removed by one of my goons a few days ago.

I was getting into my car when my phone buzzed. Without thinking, I answered. "Edward Cullen, here."

"I miss you, honey." Bella's teary voice and use of the endearment almost made me want to beg for her forgiveness.

I sighed and gripped the steering wheel. "I miss you, too, but we need this. I'm not good for you anymore. My mom told me that you aren't eating enough. Please, don't make yourself sick on my account. How's DC?"

She sniffled. "Is it really this easy for you? I can barely get out of bed in the morning. I'm supposed to be happy with planning my book tour, but it all seems so insignificant without you by my side."

"It's not easy for me, babydoll," I admitted honestly. "I've done so much bad shit. You wouldn't want who I've become...who I've always been. I made you fall in love with the illusion, just like my father did to Esme. The reality is a fucking mess."

I heard some shuffling and then a door close. "You said you loved me enough to set me free, so I'm doing the same for you. I'm at Jenks' right now getting separation papers drawn up. I thought about filing for divorce, but I want to give you one last chance. I'm willing to work with you, Edward, but you have to give me something. Do you want to dissolve our marriage?"

My heart spoke before my brain could fully process the words. "No. I still love you."

She was silent for several minutes, and then began speaking rapidly. "Come over and have dinner tonight. Dante misses you. We can both sign the papers at the mansion, and Jenks has agreed to keep everything out of the press. He's handling this one personally."

I didn't want to see her and get sucked back into the life I could never live. "I can't come tonight but later this week. Kiss my son for me." Bella sounded disappointed as she promised to tell Dante I called and disconnected.

After speaking to her, I felt like shit, so I drove to the lair and changed. Then I traded in the Phantom for a Ducatti and drove to the docks. There was a real life Fight Club happening on one of the fisherman's boats. I knew the fucker who ran it, and he'd gotten me a spot. Rich guys like me paid for working class guys to beat with us until we bled.

"Edward, long time no see," Solomon greeted, leading me down a set of narrow stairs. Pretty soon the smell of sweat, blood, and old cigars entered my nose.

I stripped down to just my jeans as they paired me with some big bald guy. He started out with jabs, which I was able to reciprocate easily. Over time, we began to really brawl. A few shitheads came to watch our fight. I relished the feel of the brute's fists hitting my back and stomach. He would leave tons of bruises.

In between, I smoked a shitload of PCP and took a few steroid shots. Shit started to get hazy and less and less of my punches connected. I centered myself and made him come to me. His meaty fists did a lot of damage, but I was also kicking the shit out of him.

"Give up," he taunted, flexing his muscles for the crowd.

I gave him a roundhouse kick to the head which flattened his stupid ass. "I fight dirty," I snarled, panting as Solomon led me off the floor amidst cheers.

They sent some bitch in to ice my injuries and give me a rubdown, but I declined. She just shrugged and went to the next room. The night hadn't been about sex; I needed the pain. I knew that I'd sleep well.

_**~~LAMTAF~~**_

Two days later, I woke up naked in bed with three whores. I'd gotten fucked up and had my newest trusted goon rent me a suite at the Fairmount. It was the same place my father used to take his bitches, and where I'd gone to have the orgy when I thought Bella had cheated on me and was pregnant with Alec's baby.

_Don't think about her._

Carlisle and Emmett had surprised me at the campaign office the other day. They begged me to do what Dr. Uley wanted, but unless I harmed myself or others no one could force me to check into a mental health facility. I'd already harmed myself, but it wasn't like I had tried to commit suicide. They had nothing. Thankfully, Cai and Marcus were busy with Naples shit and had little time to chastise me.

I was a master at lying, which proved a life in politics was for me. It was easy to put on a mask and do interviews or campaign visits to local businesses. The newspapers declared me ahead seventy to thirty, so I knew it wouldn't be long before I was a Senator. My position in the Mafia helped keep my other activities a secret. The Volturi had dirt on every power player in the United States and would use it if necessary.

I lazily smoked a bowl while two of the bitches scissored each other. The third bitch was busy watching television and eating cereal. They were all Japanese, and their Boss had sent a heroin supply with them on the plane. Like Anna, I never took their pussy, instead fucking them in the ass or making them blow me. In my fucked up mind, I thought my way was better.

The bitches had been given strict instructions, and I had goons in the other rooms for safety. If anyone tried to fuck me over, their ass would be dead. The Yakuza were stricter than us, so they didn't tolerate shit-not even from women and children. These particular whores had been trained well.

Around six, I began feeling sick to my stomach. One of the bitches brought me a bottle of ginger ale and some crackers. I dismissed all but one, and laid down until my stomach felt better. It wasn't long before the fever came.

Instead of calling Carlisle or going to a doctor, I prepared a needle and shared it with Lei, the one who remained. She was a smack pro, knowing how to light the foil just right and find the vein. For the first time, I recognized sadness in her eyes. She was trapped just like me, which made me feel closer to her.

We curled up naked by the fire, not bothering with a blanket. Before long, Lei began sobbing. I sang some silly limerick Esme used to sing to me and cried right along with her. In my delirium, I told her about Bella and Dante. It felt good to talk about them again, even if she wasn't listening.

"I need to go home," I whispered quietly while watching the flames. "I need to fight for them."

I must have passed out again, because when I woke up Lei was curled up next to me. My body felt like I'd been in a car accident, but I struggled to sit up. The fire was still burning-it was the only source of light in the room.

Suddenly, I heard a noise behind me. "I knew it! I guess…I guess I had to see it for myself. I'm so stupid."

Forgetting about my nudity, I ran towards the voice. "Bella. Bella, please, I can explain."

She spun around and gasped. In the new light, all my bruises and scars were clear. "Jesus Christ, Edward, what have you done to yourself? Is this the life you want? You're going to die if you don't end this self-destruction! I can't," she gestured to my chest, "believe this. I'm going to be sick," she mumbled, clutching her stomach.

I took a step towards her, but she backed away. "I'm sorry."

My angel cringed and took off her rings, throwing them at my feet. "I'm done, Edward. I can't believe I've been so incredibly stupid. I'm just your doormat, and that's all I'll ever be in this relationship. If you want to see Dante again, check into the care facility. I can't trust you anymore. You've hurt me so much, and now I'm through. I'll have Jenks change the separation to a divorce. I want you to know I'll never forgive you for doing this to me. I loved you, but I guess it meant nothing."

I sat down on the floor and looked up at her. "You may not believe it, but I still love you."

Crying, my babydoll sprinted from the room. A part of me wanted to chase after her, but I knew this was all for the best. Monsters weren't meant to spend eternity with angels. My babydoll was too good for me.

I hadn't noticed Rose in the room until she spoke. "I tried to talk her out of coming. Emmett is worried about you, and now I see why. Stop pushing your family away. You'll need support. Call your mom, she's worried about you, too."

I was so fucked up I didn't care about being nude in front of my sister-in-law. "Take care of Bella. Despite all of this shit, I do love her."

Rose's ice blue eyes regarded me warily. "That's what makes this so sad. You feel it, but you won't even try to make it work."

After she left, I grabbed a blanket to cover Lei, dragged my sorry ass to the bathroom, and ran a bath. As I watched the tub fill, I thought about fucking offing myself. I imagined slitting my wrists and watching the blood pool around me. The sensation to end it all was strong. Then I saw their faces. Bella and Dante would be devastated if I died, and I'd already hurt them enough for one lifetime.

"I'm proud of you, son," my father said, clapping his manicured hands. He was wearing his favorite monogrammed robe this time.

"Fuck you. Go back to hell where you belong," I muttered, slipping down into the water, hoping that it could make me clean again.

**_Terms_  
**

****Dà retta—Pay attention. Listen**

****La Camorra—The Volturi Mafia's organization**

****Omerta—Mafia code of honor**

****Dio non voglia—Heaven forbid **

****Vaffanculo!****—****Fuck****you!**

****Che cazzo stai dicendo—What the hell are you talking about?**

****Tempo al tempo—All in good time**

********Yakuza—Japanese Mafia**

* * *

_I know everyone hates Edward, but it had to be this way. He had to hit rock bottom to begin crawling out of this mess. It will be a long and painful journey for him and Bella. I'm not promising an HEA but I want one as bad as you guys. Reviews get Dante hugs. I'll be hiding with my Stoli. *Huggles*  
_


	12. Chapter 11: Torn

**_A/N:_** _Yay, I updated! Thank you to all the people still with me. I have been getting flamed and some nasty PM's. Please don't bother reading LAMTAF if you can't handle the subject matter. I have warned readers all along. This is not a fluff fic. Also, please stop by my Blog **(Link on Profile)** to check out information, songs, and pictures relevant to the story. Feel free to send me a PM too. I answer them all. **Bipolar disorder** is only one reason for Edward's behavior. I never make excuses for him. This is just a fic ,but I've done some research to make it more realistic. Also, anyone who has a problem with Edward being a Senator must not keep up with American politics. Some real life figures have these same problems.  
_

_I dedicate this chapter to two beautiful souls:** SweetLo** and my French lovely **Evelyn**__. _

**WARNING: LAMTAF contains disturbing content. **

* * *

**Nothing's fine. I'm torn  
I'm all out of faith  
This is how I feel  
I'm cold and I am shamed  
Lying naked on the floor  
Illusion never changed  
Into something real  
I'm wide awake and I can see  
The perfect sky is torn  
You're a little late, I'm already torn**

Torn-Natalie Imbruglia

_**BPOV**_

Denial and Isolation

I woke up naked and in some type of underground dungeon. It was dark, but when my eyes adjusted to the light, I could see that I was chained to a wall—my legs spread apart and shackled. My arms were placed over my head, effectively making it impossible for me to find any comfort.

A loud creak alerted me to the presence of another person. "I've got you just where I want you."

"Edward, what are we doing here?" I asked, looking up into his frighteningly dark eyes.

Smirking, he took off the black hooded robe which left him completely nude. Long, supple muscles stretched out to form the perfection of a pale Adonis who drew my eyes like a moth to a flame. If beauty could kill, he would have left nothing but perfumed ashes in his wake.

"My, my, Isabella, I can smell you from here," he murmured, baring his canines.

I was so afraid all I could do was stutter, "D-Don't h-hurt me."

One of Edward's large smooth hands connected painfully with my right cheek. "You're not in a position to give me orders, slave. I fucking own you!"

I whimpered and begged while he knelt down beside me on the cold cement floor. It was then I noticed several black snake tattoos across his chest. As beautiful as I'd thought him before, I could now see nothing but those ruthless reptiles.

"You're very afraid, aren't you? Show me," Edward growled, using a key to unlock my wrists.

Once I was free, I began pushing at his chest. I had to get out of here and find my baby or someone who could help me. If I stayed I knew something truly awful would happen, and I'd never be the same.

"You're a monster," I screeched, while Edward's eyes turned blood red.

His answering smile was sinister. "A few minutes ago, you thought I was handsome. I could see it in your eyes. What has changed, Isabella?"

"I see the real you," I sighed, rubbing my sore wrists.

Edward said a word in another language and several nude women appeared. He winked at me before standing up and walking over to them. When he got there, a dark-haired female with slanted eyes laid her lower body on a stone altar. She was to be his sacrifice.

"Look at me while I fuck their bodies. Did you think you were special, Isabella?" Edward asked quizzically.

I turned away. "You're disgusting."

He was at my side in less than a second, punching my face and leaving me covered in blood. "The only thing _disgusting_ in this room is you! You let the monster get inside of you thinking you could change him into something good. You were a fool. I'm going to show you just how wrong you've been."

While I sobbed, Edward buried his shaft inside the woman. Their grunts and sex noises echoed in the dank room making me want to curl up and die. The copulation seemed to go on forever, and eventually the woman stopped moving.

"Watch," Edward demanded as he began eating his conquest's flesh. Horror struck, I realized he was also drinking her blood.

I turned to the side and puked until there was nothing left. The show went on in much the same way until Edward had fucked and consumed every woman in the room…except me. With renewed strength, I struggled to break free from the chains.

"Let me go!"

Calmer than before, Edward walked over, unshackled my legs, and brought me to the filthy altar. I fought but it was no use. Instead of bending me over like the others, he laid me down on my back. Blindly, I clawed at his alabaster face.

"Tsk, Tsk, Bella. You don't want to anger the beast. It will all be over very quickly."

The tattoo snakes became real, falling from his skin and landing on my bare stomach. Then the organ between Edward's legs grew in size, making it physically impossible for him to fit inside me. Still, he began pushing into my entrance as the snakes hissed and bit various parts of my body.

"No. It hurts. Please, Edward," I begged, squirming to get away.

He stopped to look down at me, his eyes turning fully black. "You're no different than the others. I must make you see. Come, Isabella, it's time for you to die."

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

"Bella…Bella. Wake up. It's Jasper. Come on, baby sister. Wake up!"

Shivering and frightened, I slowly opened my eyes. It seemed to take all the energy in my body to do something so simple. The minute my senses registered, I began to feel sick. Gagging, I pointed to the wastebasket. Jasper handed it to me, holding my hair as I vomited nothing but liquid.

It had been over a week since I'd walked in on Edward's betrayal. My appetite had become non existent, and I threw up almost everything. If it hadn't been for Dante still drinking my breast milk, I would never have touched food at all.

Groggily, I protested as Jasper raised a glass to my lips which I soon discovered was ginger ale. He looked helpless and lost, so I managed to swallow and even eat some crackers. I hated that my brother was once again forced to pick me up after an Edward-induced fall.

"You can't go on like this," Jasper stated, his blue eyes seemingly fathomless. "I won't sit here and watch you waste away over that bastard! He's never been worth it, Bella. How many times are you going to let him treat you like dirt?"

I winced at his harsh words. "I tried…I tried to save my marriage and give Dante the family he needs. Is that so wrong?"

My brother stretched and stood up. "What's wrong is thinking that you're not worthy to be loved and treated with respect. I'm pissed at Edward, but I'm also mad at you. He only treated you like trash because you allowed it. Now, look, you've been in bed for a week falling into depression—again."

I sighed and wiped my watery eyes. "I love him, Jaz. I thought he loved me, but maybe I was wrong."

"Maybe you were wrong? He's fucking anything that moves and making you look like an idiot. If he loved you, he would get take the help the family is offering. Edward always does what he wants—damn the consequences. I can't believe how naive you are acting. You're always going to be his doormat!" Jasper yelled, stomping the floor for emphasis.

"I want you to go. I have a headache and you're making it worse. Just…Just, let me sleep," I begged.

Jaz nodded and walked towards the door. "You have a baby who needs you, a family who misses you, and a fulfilling career, Bella. Edward isn't your life. The sooner you wake up and realize just how badly he's treated you, the better. I love you, darlin', but you need to come out of this funk."

After he left, I cried until my eyes went dry. I wanted to go find Dante and hug him, but I was in no state to take care of a baby. In fact, I was lucky Carlisle and Emmett hadn't had me committed after the breakdown. From what I remembered, I'd been practically lethargic when Rose had brought me home from the Fairmont.

Each time I closed my eyes, I saw a scene from my history with Edward. For example, the first time we made love. It had been pain, pleasure, and bliss. He'd barely been able to control his animal nature, and as a result he'd thought I hated his guts. When he came back to me the next day, I'd wanted to weep with joy.

"Stupid Bella," I mumbled, trying to force the memory from my head.

**_ ~~LAMTAF~~_**

The days passed quickly. I ate the bare minimum and spent most of my time staring at the walls. Jasper didn't come back, but Alice sat with me for hours on end. I was too broken to do much except occasionally squeeze her hand.

One morning, Angela came to my room. She gasped and sat beside me. I knew I probably looked a mess, but I refused to get out of bed. What did it matter if I had clean clothes or pretty hair when my soul was dying?

"Bella," she said, touching my cheek gently, "it hurts me to see you this way."

I turned over to face her. "I feel like I'm dying inside, Ang. I don't want to be this way. My little lamb is suffering because I can't function."

She stood up and held out her hand. "Come on, sweets."

"Just let me sleep."

Angela shook her head vehemently, causing strands of black hair to fall in her face. "No. Everyone is indulging you, but I know the old Bella. Remember when you didn't want to skate because you were scared you'd fall?"

"I did fall."

She giggled. "Yeah, but you tried and even got pretty good at it over time. You're stronger than this, sweets. I know it hurts. I can't even imagine how I'd cope if Ben… Listen, we're here for you, but you need to meet us halfway."

Because I was tired of my self-imposed exile, I let Angela run me a bath. All I could do was watch as she added jasmine bubble bath to the steaming water. By the time I lowered myself into the frothy tub, I was feeling a little excited about the prospect of a clean body.

"This feels sooo good," I moaned loudly, submerging myself.

Ang laughed and handed me a bottle of almond milk shampoo. "I'm going to leave you alone, but I'll be back after you finish. We can eat dinner…if you want."

Since the fallout my days ran together, so I had no idea that it was evening. "That sounds perfect, but I don't want to keep you from Ben."

"It's not a problem, Bella. He understands."

"Are you sure?" I asked, gnawing on my sore lip.

She nodded. "Yes. Now don't forget to wash behind your ears."

As I rubbed a Dove bar over my skin, it all began to make sense. Edward had cheated on me. No matter what happened in the future, we would never be the same. Lying in bed and letting my life waste away wasn't the solution, though.

By the time Ang returned, I'd dressed in a new pajamas and changed the sheets and comforter. Technically, housework was Hilda's job, but I hadn't quite gotten used to having servants. I felt bad asking someone else to do what I could do myself.

"I'm starving," I confessed, plopping down on the bed.

Angela left and came back with William. The butler smiled at me as he placed plates and glasses on the table. Thankfully my bedroom was large enough to have a sitting area. I wasn't sure I was ready to venture outside of the nest just yet.

"Steak and Parmesan risotto, Miss," William announced, giving an unnecessary flourish to the delicious-looking meal.

"Thank you," I said politely as he poured us each glass of wine.

"Do you need me to stay late? Hilda and I were planning to leave, but if you need us…"

I held up my hand. "No, you've stayed late as it is. I'll make sure you both get overtime."

After telling us that dessert was on the stove, William exited the room.

Ang and I talked about our old lives and how much our world had changed. She and Ben were busy handling my book dealings and taking on other literary clients. Ang had never been much for writing, but she was an avid reader and usually the first to spy a would-be-popular author.

Days of not eating had left me weaker than I'd thought. I ate ravenously, barely taking time to swallow before shoveling more into my mouth. Pretty soon, I'd consumed three helpings and a half loaf of garlic bread.

"Slow down, Bella," Angela admonished. "I don't want you to get sick again."

I giggled and poured another glass of wine. "It feels so good to be full. Um, Ang, do you think I'll ever be okay?"

She put down her fork and reached across the table to touch my hand. "You'll be fine. I can't tell you that it'll stop hurting, but I know you can get through this heartbreak."

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

Bargaining

The next Monday, I returned to work. The colleges were back in session, so my business had been super busy. Bree and Maggie practically squeezed me to death as I walked through the front door with my little lamb. Apparently, they had missed me more than I'd missed them.

"We were so worried about you," Maggie said as she kissed my cheek. I knew she could understand a little of my pain because of what Demetri had done to her.

Bree hugged me tightly, too. "Onyx wants to see you. She just sits on the chair and stares out at the rain. Riley says cats' moods match their owners."

I ran my fingers through my hair and tried to smile. "You can bring her home anytime. Thank you both for taking on so much responsibility. The store looks great."

We ate breakfast and went over inventory while Dante took a nap. I was happy the girls didn't ask me anything about Edward. The pain was still too fresh. I needed to get back into my normal routine before I handled all of that drama.

"So, how are you and Riley coming along?" I asked Bree.

She blushed crimson. "He…did something."

Maggie giggled loudly. "Awww, she's so innocent."

I stifled a laugh because my friend looked so forlorn. "What did he do?"

Bree sighed. "I don't know what he wants from me anymore! He touches me like husband." She said a word in Russian before figuring it out in her head. "I am tainted."

I shook my head. 'No you're not, sweetheart. Have you even had sex?"

"No, but we do other stuff." I assumed she meant oral and fingering, but since she was so shy I wasn't about to ask for clarification.

Maggie patted her friend's hand. "I told you that it's perfectly natural. If Riley knew you were uncomfortable, he'd stop. He loves you."

Bree sniffled and blew her nose on a tissue. "It is other thing, too. Riley's uncles say I am bad for him. They do not want me in family. I love him, but my wish has always been to be wife someday. I am scared."

It made me angry that anyone would hurt Bree. She was one of the gentlest and kindest people on Earth. Silently I vowed to have a talk with Riley and see what the Volturi could do to help matters. My marriage may not have worked out, but Bree deserved her chance at a happy life and all that it entailed.

Around one, Dante woke up screaming. I changed a particularly toxic diaper and then fed him a bottle. His eyes never left mine as he suckled greedily. Looking down at his cherubic face, I felt guilty about the days we'd spent apart while I wallowed in bed.

"You're so perfect," I cooed, kissing his chubby little hands. "I'm sorry I was selfish. I'm never going to abandon you again."

My little lamb made a happy noise and burped.

"Good boy!"

There was a knock on the door just as I finished putting Dante in his playpen. "Come in."

Giles walked into the room carrying a beautiful edible bouquet. "Hello, love," he said, holding the gift out to me.

I began to tear up. "This is beautiful, Giles. I love fresh fruits and chocolates. Thank you."

He smiled, making his clear blue eyes sparkle. "I know it's none of my business, but you sounded melancholy the last time we spoke over the mobile. I want you to know that I'm here if you need me."

Warily, I studied Giles for a minute. He wore his Burberry suit like a male model and his silky black hair only added to his remarkable looks. He also had very nice lips and a strong jaw. I let myself fantasize about what it would be like to kiss him, even though I knew he would push me away.

"Bella?" he asked, drawing my attention back to the conversation. "Where did you go?"

Blushing, I looked down at my nails. "I… Edward and I are separating. I'm having a hard time with everything. We've only been married a year and…"

He passed me a silk handkerchief. "Don't cry. I reckon it will all get sorted. Pardon me for being blunt, but you deserve better. You're a smart and alluring woman, Bella."

"Giles…"

"Don't. I meant every word I just said."

Despite the elephant in the room, Giles and I remained professional as we discussed what cities I'd be traveling to in the next few months. A few times, I caught him staring, but he'd always look away quickly. I found it hard to believe a man like him could have any interest in a soon-to-be divorced single mother.

When it was over I found myself dreading the idea of not seeing Giles again for a few days, so I invited him over for dinner. He gladly accepted my offer and asked if he could bring anything. Biting my lip, I told him to just bring himself. I was pretty sure I didn't have any romantic feelings for my publisher, but I liked his company.

"What am I doing?" I muttered while thinking of who else I could invite for dinner. I felt like it was inappropriate to be alone with Giles when I had all these strange feelings and thoughts. Plus, technically I was still a married woman.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

I fiddled with my napkin as Leah grilled Giles about his travels. She'd just been given a job covering the news on a local station and was eager to make powerful friends in Seattle. Jake, however, seemed weary of Giles and kept his arm protectively around Leah's shoulders.

"Zurich is a beautiful city. I've been trying to talk Bella into doing an international tour, and one of our stops would be Switzerland," Giles confessed, bringing me back into the conversation.

"I would love to do it, but Dante is too young."

Giles nodded pensively. "Of course, love. Perhaps we can arrange it for your second tour."

Leah squealed and leaned across the table. "Are you writing another book?"

"It's in very early stages," I replied, smiling coyly at Giles.

The rest of dinner was filled with pleasant conversation. Jake relaxed after he found out Giles had season tickets to the Seahawks and didn't enjoy football. Before the end of the night, Jake had negotiated a deal. Leah and I laughed as they argued about whether or not soccer was a real sport.

Around nine, Giles thanked me for a lovely evening and left. We made plans to have lunch next week. I found myself looking forward to spending more time with my publisher. For a little while, he made me smile and forget my problems.

"Be careful, Bella. You're in a vulnerable place. I do like Giles, though," Leah whispered, kissing me on the cheek.

Jake put on his jacket and turned around to give me a hug. "He's okay, but you come first. Never take old problems into a new relationship. Don't lead the guy on if you're not ready."

I blanched at the absurdity. "He doesn't like me that way. We're just friends!"

Jake and Leah shared a smug look before wishing me goodnight.

I thought it was weird they could even think… Giles could have any woman. He was one of the hottest bachelors in Seattle. Men weren't looking for single mothers with baggage like mine. If Giles knew about the Mafia stuff and all the rest, he wouldn't even want to see me again.

After taking a quick shower, the baby monitor alerted me to the fact that Dante was awake. He was whimpering and struggling to stand up when I got to the nursery. Smiling, I lifted his tiny body from the bed and snuggled him to my chest.

We walked to my room and laid down. Dante kept crawling to Edward's pillows and looking at me. It was like he was asking me, 'where is my daddy?' or something. I tried to hold it in, but his innocent little face broke me.

Sighing, I pulled out my old Iphone and dialed the number. His phone rang for several minutes before he picked up.

"Bella?" His voice sounded extremely gruff, but at least he wasn't high.

"I'm going to hold the phone up to Dante's ear. He misses you. Tell him you love him," I commanded acidly.

My little lamb tried to chew the phone a few times before I was able to settle him in my lap. His eyes lit up as Edward talked. I had no idea what he said, but I trusted him not to be mean to our son.

Five minutes later, I pulled the phone away. "You know, you could come see him. I have no problems with it as long as you're supervised. Just because we're over doesn't mean you get to stop being a father." After that statement, I hung up.

Dante kicked his fat legs and slobbered on my cheek. I told him Onyx would be home tomorrow, which made him smile. He loved using her for a prop so he could stand. I just hoped that he wouldn't crush my cat. My little lamb was by no means a small baby.

"You're going to grow up to be handsome and strong. I want you to be a good man," I murmured, caressing my baby boy's chubby cheeks.

He pulled my hair and rubbed his little nose against mine. "Bah-baw-dah," he squealed happily. In baby speak that meant, 'I love you', or at least that's what I told myself.

By midnight, my _bambino_ was worn out. He drank from his bottle until sleep claimed him again. While watching his eyes close, I worried that I wouldn't be enough. Dante deserved so much more—all the studies said that kids from two-parent households had better lives. I'd already failed as a mother.

Since I couldn't sleep, I took out my Kindle and read some of the books I'd bought about bipolar disorder. The disease really affected relationships and many ended in divorce. From reading, I'd learned all of Edward's mood swings and outbursts were common for people with bipolar disorder.

"What if I could save him?" I asked myself aloud.

Emmett told me Edward was going through a manic phase, that the drugs and alcohol only made it worse. I just wished there was something that I could have done. The guilt I felt over my husband's condition was almost as bad as the pain I felt because of his cheating.

_Have I really been helpful or just made him worse? _

Pretty soon, the answer came to me. I did everything I could for Edward. He hurt and pushed me away until there was nothing left. The fact that I'd had to ask Carlisle, my father-in-law, to test me for sexually transmitted diseases was a testament to how much I'd suffered. Edward obviously didn't care about me, so why was I so worried about him?

"I have you, and that's all I need. Mommy loves you," I whispered, pulling my little lamb close.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

Anger

"You're clean. All the tests came back negative. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, sweetheart. It makes me want to beat my son's ass," Carlisle hissed, handing me a bunch of medical papers and pamphlets.

I sighed and put everything in my messenger bag. "Thank you for being discreet. Does this mean I can feed Dante now?"

He nodded. "You can resume breastfeeding at any time, but I do advise we up your caloric intake. You're wasting away to skin and bones."

I looked down at my thighs. They were thinner than normal. My clothes practically hung off of my body, and sometimes I got winded from carrying Dante up and down the stairs. I was trying to eat more, but it was hard.

"I've been vomiting almost every day. I know it's the stress, because my body had the same reaction after Charlie's death. I lost a lot of weight back then, too. Um, I guess I need to start taking the nausea pills you gave me."

Carlisle patted my shoulder. "You're my daughter, Bella, and I'm worried. After my first wife died, I wanted to join her. If it wasn't for Emmett, I'm not sure I would have made it. There were days when I just wanted to take an overdose of pills and leave it all behind."

I plucked a Kleenex from the box on his desk to wipe my eyes. "How did you make it through? Some days, I don't even want to get out of bed. Edward is still alive, but it's like he's dead."

My father-in-law smiled. "I took it one day at a time. There are still times when I miss my deceased wife, but she'd want me to be happy. The best thing you can do is take care of yourself and be a good mother. Dante needs the stability right now. We're all trying to make Edward get help, but it's up to him."

After I left the hospital, I called Alice and asked her to meet me for lunch. Esme had Dante and Sasha for the day. I knew my little lamb needed some time with his friend. Dante's whole face had lit up when he saw Sasha sitting in the play yard. I wanted him to be happy.

When I got to the sushi place, Alice was already waiting in the booth. I let the waiter lead me to her table and pour a cup of green tea. The restaurant was packed with the lunch crowd, and I noticed a few single guys giving us hopeful looks. I rolled my eyes.

"I should have suggested Italian. You need carbs, girl," Alice nagged, pointing at me.

"No, this place is fine."

She sipped her Sake quietly before speaking again. "He looks worse than you. I…I know it's hard, and I wish I could do more to help you."

Snarling, I threw down my menu. "Look, I'm here to eat. I'm tired of everyone treating me like a victim! I just want to have one meal where I don't have to think or talk about it."

When the waiter returned, we both ordered Chicken Katsu and sushi rolls. Two guys at a table close to ours sent us each a glass of wine. I declined, but Alice drank while showing the admirers her wedding ring. She also pointed to my finger and shouted, "She's married, too!" The guys pouted and toasted us.

Usually, I would have been embarrassed at such a display, but I really just didn't care. In my limited experience, men were only out for one thing—sex. Once they got what they wanted, a woman was easily discarded. I wasn't interested in being someone else's trash.

"My first couture pieces just arrived from Paris. There is one gown I designed specifically for you. You can come by the boutique and try it on anytime," Alice informed me.

I shrugged and stuffed a California roll into my mouth. Thankfully, the nausea pill I'd taken seemed to work. I was able to finish most of my meal and didn't feel the need to vomit. In fact, I felt so good I decided to order dessert. It was a small step but a step nonetheless.

I was eating a slice of New York cheesecake when I noticed Edward's face on one of the plasma televisions lining the wall. The news station was talking about the State Senate elections in February and Edward's lead in the polls. I was just glad the televisions were programmed to caption-only so that I didn't have to hear his voice.

Before I could look away, the whore Gina came on the screen. She looked so damn professional in her smart black business suit. Some people would never have suspected the bitch was a whore and cokehead. She was just like Edward in her ability to deceive the public.

"Cunt," I muttered, dropping my fork. I no longer had an appetite.

Alice looked worried. "We should probably go. Lunch is on me."

I didn't argue as she paid the check and ushered us out the door. It was another cool, rainy day in Seattle. I didn't even remember the last time we'd seen the sun. It was fitting weather for my dark mood.

Jane had driven me, so she was waiting with my BMW. I waved goodbye to Alice and walked over to the car. My bodyguard eyed me warily as I slammed the passenger door. She knew me well enough by now.

"Where to, boss?"

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

"This is a bad idea, Bella," Jane yelled, trying to make me stay in the car.

"Let me go!"

I was pulling out my supplies when Alice pulled up in her yellow Lamborghini. HADES was closed for the week, even the underground activities had been halted. It was perfect timing to do what I had planned.

"Call Edward and you're fired," I barked, pointing at Jane.

She sighed. "I won't be a part of this, but I am calling him. Fire me if you want."

I gathered my supplies and marched past Jane and Alice screaming, "Traitors," over my shoulder. They were useless to me.

Somehow, Alice caught up to me when I got inside the building. I was so angry I could barely see straight. All I wanted to do was take something away from Edward. He'd broken my heart and left me a shell of a woman. It was only fair!

Alice clawed at my arm as I tried to get out of the elevator. It was strange to see HADES without people milling around. Being in the place where I first fell in love would be torture, but I needed to release some of the pain I felt inside.

"Let go!" I screamed, pushing my sister-in-law back against the wall.

Tears welled up in her childlike eyes. "I can't be here for this, Bella. I'll wait for you down in Jaz's office."

Angrily, I watched the steel doors close. Then I went into Edward's office and locked the door. Thankfully, he hadn't removed my thumbprint from the lair's security panel. He'd probably been fucking too many women to find the time for such frivolous things.

Inside, everything was just as I remembered. My stomach clenched painfully as I passed the piano where our little lamb was conceived. Nothing we had was real; it was all a charade. Armed with a can of gasoline, a knife, and a lighter, I marched to the bedroom.

_Hell hath no fury._

The bedding was rumbled, so I knew Edward had been here recently. I stripped off the sheets and comforters, throwing them on the floor. Fighting back tears, I went to the closet and took down a bunch of Edward's silk shirts and expensive pants. I added everything plus shoes to the pile.

Crouching down on my knees, I retrieved the knife and began cutting it all into little scraps. I cut, tore, and screamed as tears blurred my vision. Why should Edward look nice when seducing his whores? He deserved rags and soot.

Soon, I began carrying everything to the Jacuzzi tub. I briefly wondered how many whores Edward had fucked in the bathtub, before filling it with strips of fabric. Scowling, I poured gasoline over everything and set it on fire. It wasn't enough, though.

"What the hell? Bella, get away from there," he shouted, lifting me into his arms.

I fought and scratched at his bare forearms. "Get your hands off of me, you bastard!"

Edward set me down in a chair, grabbed the fire extinguisher, and fled back to the bathroom. I heard the sounds of foam leaving the nozzle and water running. It was then I realized that the fire alarm was going off. The whole room was smoky, but I'd barely noticed in my rage.

"Shit," Edward murmured while getting a stepladder so he could turn off the alarm. He eyed me warily as he made a call to tell Caius everything was fine. Besides me, only Edward's Godfathers knew about the lair.

"Thank fuck Jane called me. She's going to get her ass chewed out for letting you get this far. She should have…"

I took off my heel and threw it as his head. "You don't get to give orders! I'm the boss now."

Edward rubbed his forehead where the shoe had hit him and sat down in a nearby chair. "You could have been hurt or even died."

I scoffed. "Like you would care. I'm surprised you're even here. I guess even _your_ dick needs a break now and again."

Growling, he stood up and reached for my hand. "Come on. I'm having Jane take you home. You're not in the right frame of mind."

I stood up and began taking off my clothes. "I'm not ready to go yet."

His eyes darkened considerably. "S-Stop. I'm not worthy, and I won't use you again."

I laughed humorlessly. "As if I'd let you touch me again, asshole."

He followed me as I walked back to the bedroom. When I got there, I took out my favorite flesh-colored dildo from my bag. Then I laid down on the bed and spread my legs. Edward groaned and covered his crotch.

I licked my lips seductively. "Once upon a time, there was a cocky king named Edward. All the girls in the land wanted to be his princess, but he was most adamant about not getting married."

I began swirling the dildo around in my wetness slowly. Anger was as much of an aphrodisiac as anything else, so I was more than ready. I kept my eyes glued to Edward's as I pushed the head of the toy inside my body.

"One day, a naive girl was brought to the king's palace. He played games with her until she agreed to be his wife," I said, moaning as the first orgasm hit.

Edward sat on the floor and began rocking. He looked like shit. "Please, Bella."

I ignored him and positioned myself on my hands and knees, which left my ass directly in his face. "The girl was happy that she was chosen. They married and had a beautiful baby. Soon after, the king decided he…he didn't want the family life. The girl caught him with his cock buried inside a bar wench."

By this time, I was riding the dildo hard. I looked over my shoulder to see Edward staring straight at me. He looked sadder than I'd ever seen him... I didn't care. He was good at putting on an act, but the minute I left he'd have some whore under him again.

"The girl's heart broke that day and was never healed again. The baby kept her going, but she was never whole. The king went on to have many conquests because it was easy for him to pretend the girl and the baby never existed. The end," I roared, finding my final release.

Panting, I dropped the dildo on the bare mattress and turned over on to my back. For a long time, I just stared at the ceiling. I felt boneless and light after my multiple orgasms, but I didn't feel better at all.

"I hope you enjoyed the show, dear husband. You'll never be inside of me again. I would have never—never hurt you. I loved you so much…so much," I whimpered, curling into the fetal position.

Edward howled and ran to the bathroom. I heard loud retching and then his body collapsing on the tiles. I hated that a part of me felt bad. I'd thought what happened didn't affect him, but maybe I had been wrong.

Sniffling, I put on my clothes and left. Jane and Ali were waiting for me outside of Edward's office door. I let them lead me to the car. All the fight and anger was gone leaving numbness in its place. As we pulled away from the club, I felt a heavy weight in the center of my chest. It was then I fully realized Edward still had my heart.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

Depression

A week after the lair incident, Edward won the State Senate seat by a landslide. The family and I decided we'd tell the media I was sick; therefore sparing me from the parties and events. Because I was a young mother, the public was very understanding.

"I can't believe Marcus and Caius got that elderly couple to sell us our old family home. I'm not even sure I can handle being there right now," I confessed as Jasper filled up the gas tank.

We were on our way to Forks for two weeks of rest and relaxation. Jaz's relationship with Alice was on the rocks. They often argued about Edward, but the real problem was Jaz didn't want to try to have a baby. He'd even threated to have a vasectomy, because he didn't trust Alice.

My brother leaned through the window and kissed my cheek. "If you can't handle it, we'll stay at the Inn. Let's try to have a good time."

I nodded and watched him walk away. Hopefully, the trip would be good for both of us. I knew Felix and Jane were somewhere close, but they were nice enough to give us some distance. Despite my problems, I was determined to be the old Bella Swan for a little while.

Babbling in the back seat pulled me out of the darkness. "Don't fret, little lamb. We're almost there."

My baby boy picked up his bottle full of apple juice and began chewing on the nipple. It had been a while since he'd seen his father in person, but he seemed to be doing okay. Fortunately Edward did occasionally call our son, but it was clear that he'd given up his fatherly duties—which made me hate him even more.

Jasper returned with a bag full of king-size chocolate candy and bags of chips. I unwrapped a Snickers bar, taking a healthy bite. Carlisle and Esme were adamant I return from this trip with extra pounds or they would force me to speak to one of Alice's old eating disorder counselors. I didn't want or need more therapy, so I planned to eat.

The white clapboard house looked exactly the same but with a newer paintjob. When I closed my eyes, I could see my dad up on a ladder patching up the roof while Jaz and I played. It was all overwhelming, and I began to sob.

"I miss him so much, Jas."

My brother squeezed my hand. "Me too, Bells. We had some good times here. You and Charlie gave me my first real home."

Jasper unloaded the car and carried our bags inside. As a gift to us, Esme had had one of her friends pick out furniture and also our old stuff was brought out of storage. The desk where Charlie had taught me to write in cursive sat prominently in our old work and hobby room.

"This is where mommy grew up," I acknowledged, tickling Dante's belly.

He looked around, his big vibrant eyes glowing excitedly. "Bah-baw-da."

"I love you, too."

Jaz and I spent the rest of the night reminiscing and telling Dante stories. My little lamb was sweet, but he was happiest when crawling the hardwood floors. I watched him try to stand, knowing it wouldn't be long before he took his first step. It was too bad Edward had chosen to miss out on our son's milestones.

The next morning, we went to the diner. Sue Clearwater instantly fell in love with Dante and showed him off to almost the whole population of Forks. Several townspeople came up to congratulate me on Edward's win and to gossip. The weight loss and bags under my eyes made it easy for everyone to believe I had indeed been ill.

"Old Mrs. Watson is still frisky. She grabbed my butt when I went to the bathroom," Jas confessed, smiling at me.

I giggled. "Angela once saw her going down on Mike when we were in high school."

The days passed leisurely. I put on a brave and happy front, but inside I was depressed. It had been so long since I spontaneously laughed or really felt anything. Dante was as sweet and funny as ever, which only made me feel guiltier.

The family called, emailed, and texted daily. Edward was on the news giving speeches and lying about how much he loved his family, so I avoided television and the internet. I only watched cartoons with Dante and action films with Jaz—no dramas or romances.

On the fourth day, I decided I wanted to plant a garden. I took Dante into town and bought a bunch of seeds and stuff. Charlie had had a black thumb, but I'd managed to grow a few vegetables and flowers when I was younger.

Felix helped me load everything. When Caius and Marcus bought our house, they also bought the only house next to us, which meant our bodyguards were right next door. The old Bella definitely hadn't needed that much protection.

It was a rare sunny day, so I'd set up my little lamb's Play Yard outside so he could keep me company while I planted. He kept throwing his favorite toys out over the edge and crying. It was one of those annoying things babies and little kids did to get attention.

"Dante Cullen, do not throw your toys. If you do it again, they are staying on the ground."

My little lamb gave me the middle finger and scrunched up his face. I lifted him out of the Play Yard and hugged him tightly. He'd been having more temper tantrums lately and it scared me. What if my baby was bipolar like Edward? I'd read it was sometimes genetic.

Sighing, I kissed the palm of his hand. "You have to learn the difference between good and bad, okay? I love you."

He laid his head on my shoulder and cooed softly.

I was just about to take him in for some lunch when I felt a tingling sensation. Startled, I turned around. Edward was parked across watching us from his Rolls Royce. I was glad the neighbors were inside or at work, because I didn't want to create a scene.

Soon Jasper joined me. "I told that jerk to stay away," he snarled, wrapping his arm protectively around my waist.

It was as if I was under a spell and couldn't take my eyes off of my soon-to-be-ex husband. "Edward is the one who got the couple to sell us the house, isn't he?"

My brother sighed and lifted Dante from my trembling arms. "Yeah, but we thought it'd be better if you didn't know. It doesn't change anything. Let's go inside."

I chanced one more look at Edward as I stood in the foyer. For a moment, I thought that he would get out of the car, but he just blew me a kiss and drove off into the sunset.

* * *

_Bella is going through the stages of grief. Notice that she never reaches acceptance. __Edward hits rock bottom next chapter, which means he can stay there and wallow or he can begin to climb out. I hope you enjoyed sweet baby Dante-middle finger and all. Please leave me a review. *Huggles* I'll be with the Stoli._


	13. Chapter 12: Creep Part 1

_**A/N: **Thank you all for being patient. I have a lot going on in real life and sometimes writing fic has to take a backseat. Sorry. Please visit my BLOG (**Link on my Profile or Google "LAMTAF"**) for songs, pictures, Mafia videos, and information on bipolar disorder. Thanks and hugs to everyone that recs or reviews this little story. Belated happy birthdays to all the people I missed during the absence. **This chapter contains tough subject matter such as drugs and cheating. **Special shout out to__** Canyoubelieveit, LuvnCullen, **and everyone that left a review last time.**  
**_

**RECS: (All in my Favorites)**

_**A Little Too Late** by_ CaptialAb** - **Edward and Bella are married with four kids. One of the few fics that deals with real life problems and life after the honeymoon phase**_._**

**_Wanderlust _**by LastAboard_** - **_Edward and Bella have a friends with benefits relationship but both want more. Great fic with canon characters and a worldwide road trip. The lemons are smoldering.

**DISCLAIMER: **Stephanie Meyers owns Twilight. I just fuck shit up._ **  
**_

* * *

** When you were here before**  
** Couldn't look you in the eye**  
** You're just like an angel**  
** Your skin makes me cry**  
** You float like a feather**  
** In a beautiful world**  
** I wish I was special**  
** You're so fucking special**  
** But I 'm a creep**  
** I 'm a weirdo**  
** What the hell am I doing here?**  
** I don't belong here**  
** I don't care if it hurts**  
** I want to have control**  
** I want a perfect body**  
** I want a perfect soul**  
** I want you to notice**  
** When I'm not around**  
** You're so fucking special**  
** I wish I was special**

Creep-Radiohead

_**EPOV**_

We were lying under my babydoll's favorite tree in the meadow. I'd just watched her breastfeed our son and rock him to sleep. While he dozed peacefully in his Play Yard a few feet away, Bella began unbuttoning my shirt. She loved to see her name over my heart, and I loved to have my hands on her tight little ass.

"Fuck, that feels so good," I murmured when her hand made contact with my cock.

She smiled down at me, blushing scarlet. "We have to be quiet so Dante doesn't wake up."

Grinning from ear to ear, I helped her take off her underwear and straddle my hips. Thankfully, she was wearing a breezy summer dress that allowed for easy access. I nibbled on her earlobe while she slipped the straps off her shoulders exposing sumptuous breasts and pert nipples.

"Do you love me, Edward?"

"Of course I do, babydoll, I always have."

"You're lying."

Suddenly, the scene changed. I was in a dingy hotel room fucking some whore from the back while she snorted cocaine up her nose. I tried to pull away to go find my angel, but it was like my body wasn't listening to my goddamn mind.

"Let me go! I have to find Bella," I pleaded, trying to pull out.

The whore looked up exposing her face. She had dead black eyes and stringy blonde hair which made her look like a corpse. Her humongous tits were pumped full of saline and the fake orange tan made my stomach lurch. I wanted my cock as far away from the skank as possible, but she had some kind of hold over me.

"You can leave anytime you want, baby, but you know you don't want to go," she purred, meeting me thrust for thrust.

"Doesn't look like she's enjoying this much, son," my father said, laughing from his seat in the corner.

I closed my eyes and tried to block him out. "You're not here... You're not real."

He crossed his legs at the ankles and leaned back, like he always used to do when he was really relaxed. "I'm as real as you want me to be, son."

The whore began humming and bobbing her head to some imaginary song. She was fucking high as a kite and probably didn't even know she was still in the act. I tried once again to dislodge my cock, but I failed.

"Look at you, you're disgusting," James hissed, appearing in front of me. He was holding Bella's summer dress.

I finally managed to push the whore off and stalked across the room. "Where the fuck is Bella? I fucking castrated you. Why are you here?"

He laughed maniacally and ran out of the room. I followed him, noticing that we were now in some kind of underground dungeon. Silently, I pulled out my knife and got ready for the fucking kill. I didn't understand why James was back, but I wanted him gone.

"Here she is, the queen of the ball," he announced, pointing at a small lump in the corner. My Bella was on some nasty mattress clutching something to her chest.

I attempted to stab James, but the knife went right through him. I cut and sliced thin air until my arms went numb. All the while, he was standing over my babydoll and laughing at me. She hadn't moved since I entered the room.

"Bella, please, you have to run."

She turned slowly, looking up at me. Her eyes were dead, but that wasn't what caught my attention—in her arms laid our son…our dead son. I struggled to remain upright as I took in his bluish lips and ghostly white skin.

"No!" I screamed, crouching down on the cement floor. "He can't be…he's just a baby."

Bella clutched him tighter and pushed me away. "You weren't here when we needed you! Why did you let this happen?"

Tears clouded my vision as I tried to maneuver around Bella so that I could feel for DC's pulse. "Please, we can still get out of here. He's just sleeping."

She stood up and walked over to James. When I tried to block her, I found out my ankles were now encased in shackles, effectively holding me in place. I reached for my knife, prepared to cut off my fucking legs if necessary, but it was gone.

"Bella! Dante. Please, let them go!"

James winked at me before he used my dagger to slash my babydoll's throat. She didn't make a noise as she sank to the ground with our baby cradled in her arms. I watched as thick blood coated both of the people I loved most in the world. The scent of death permeated every single corner of the dungeon making me gag and vomit.

When I finally got myself under control, James was gone. I was the one standing over my family holding the bloody knife. I threw the weapon and got down on my knees trying to revive them, but my every attempt was futile.

"I'm sorry. Please! I need you. Please. Please," I sobbed, curling up into a little ball and hugging them close. With my last coherent thought, I put the knife to my wrist and cut deeply. Then I leaned down and kissed my babydoll and our son on the forehead before taking my last breath.

**_~~LAMTAF2~~_**

"Mr. Cullen, it's time for you to get up. Mr. Volturi will be here in half an hour."

I bolted up from bed and ran to the bathroom to relieve my stomach. After the retching was over, I flushed the toilet and walked over to the mirror. The whole thing had been a fucking nightmare, but it had seemed so real. If I closed my eyes, I could almost see Bella and Dante's dead corpses.

"Shit," I snarled, taking a few Xanax. I'd been sleeping poorly the last few weeks and having severe panic attacks, so Dr. Uley had prescribed them for me short term.

Thankfully, the pills began to work immediately. I was able to shower, shave, and get dressed on time. My ass was already in the hot seat with my Godfathers; I didn't plan to give them any more reasons to have me put away. I tried to act tough, but I was fucking scared of going back to the padded room.

Caius was already waiting on me when I came out of the bedroom. It'd been raining nonstop since we got to Washington D.C., and I vaguely noticed his leather Prada's were slightly damp.

"You look good, Edward. Are you ready for today?"

I nodded. We had a meeting with some big corporate CEO's that wanted to _welcome_ me to the State Senate, which was really just a fancy way of saying lobbying. I was a politician, and people with money were willing to do anything to get favorable bills passed.

"Good," Caius said, taking a sip from his bottled water, "Liam is already at their offices. This can be a big transportation deal for us. We'd be able to move more weaponry into the country without detection, and the state would gain jobs. It's really a win-win for everyone.

The ride to the Polaris offices was short. By the time the chauffeur opened my car door, I had barely managed to answer half of my emails. Staying busy was the only thing keeping me from falling apart. When I was idle, bad shit happened.

A blonde secretary with high heels and a short skirt met us in the lobby. After making small talk in the elevator, I could tell she had been hired more for her looks than her brains. She openly flirted with Caius and me as if it were the most natural-fucking-thing in the world.

Mr. Strand, the CEO, stood up as we entered the office-his minions eyeing me carefully. I shook his hand, making sure to keep a strong grip as Caius and Liam made the introductions. Strand was tall, but he had feminine hands and bone structure.

"It's very nice to meet you, Senator Cullen. I followed the campaign, and our company looks forward to your partnership."

The smile I gave him was as fake as his teeth. "It's nice to meet you, too, Sir. I have many ideas I think will benefit Polaris. Let's sit down and go over details."

The next five hours went by slowly. I used my knowledge of business and my MBA to impress the fucking lackeys and their king while my Godfathers went over the more shady dealings of our organization. Marcus had decided since I was now a politician, he wanted me mainly kept out of the illegal activities which included drugs, guns, and violence.

"Our newest jets are fuel efficient and can carry more cargo than the previous models. Our plant in Tacoma is ready for production, but we need the Union on our side. In return for your help, I am willing to transport your more…_particular_ items into the country. We have deals with several vendors and our jets are rarely if ever searched."

Caius nodded. "Good, the new laws are making it tougher to import assault weapons, but the arms trade is booming. We made more capital from arms deals than illegal substances last year."

Like a good puppy, I pulled out the figures I'd done and passed them to Strand. He and his Accountant made notes as they tallied my numbers. I knew my work was fucking perfect, because that shit was easy for me.

"Impressive," Strand mumbled, taking off his square-rimmed glasses.

After the meeting, everyone decided we could forge our new partnership by going out to dinner. My suspicions about Strand and his secretary were proven right when he practically mauled her on the way to the elevator. She took his private car home so he could ride with us.

"So, I hear you're a married man, Cullen. How's that going?" he asked, lighting a cigar.

I looked down at my ringless finger. "It's good." Luckily, that was the end of small talk.

About half an hour later, we pulled up to Tosca-the famed Italian restaurant. Several women who looked like professional gold diggers eyed us happily as we sauntered in the room. The waiter had a large table by the window waiting for us.

After I took a seat, I unfolded my linen napkin and put it in my lap. Caius ordered a few bottles of Cristal and a soda for me. I'd been banned from drinking for the foreseeable future.

I didn't really have an appetite, so I just played with my food while conversation flowed around the table. There was talk of wives, children, and girlfriends. It fucking hurt to even thing of DC and my babydoll so I stayed silent.

Soon I was back in my hotel room. Caius and Liam had business to attend to, so I was basically alone. Strand had invited me to a massage parlor, but I was done with fucking random bitches. My stupidity had cost me the only woman that would ever matter.

I called Bella, but as usual she didn't pick up the damn phone. I stripped down to my boxers and climbed into bed. I fucking hated the way everyone treated me lately. I was chaperoned like a fucking teenager and most of the family was pissed at me.

By nine, I was bored and horny. I took out my private laptop and opened the Bella files. It was a bunch of pictures and videos we'd made back when we used to be happy. Looking at them, I could hardly believe what we'd become over a short period of time.

"Fuck, she's beautiful," I murmured, looking at a picture of her in a green silk teddy.

The more pictures and videos I watched, the worse I felt. I'd made my own hell, but that didn't mean I didn't regret my decisions. With my disorder and bullshit character, I was just no good for Bella or our son.

"That tickles," video Bella said, giggling as I spread her legs wide. She'd always given herself freely to me even though she was sometimes frightened.

Soon it got to be too much. My hard-on deflated, so I laid down to sleep. The nightmares were more gruesome and realistic than before. I woke up a few times and conversed with my father—he came to me every night lately.

I had a particularly horrific nightmare in which Bella was dead in a bathtub of blood, which sent me over the edge. I called a concierge and requested they bring me some bottles of Italian vodka and let me pay in cash. Caius was next door, and if he found out I was boozing there would be hell to pay.

A skinny metrosexual-looking fucker brought the bottles up in a paper bag. If anyone saw it, they would think it contained food. Because I needed a high, I asked him if he could score me an eight ball of cocaine.

"Yes, sir," I have a connection who supplies our high end clientele. I'll have it to you in thirty minutes or less." For rich fuckers like me, getting drugs was as easy as getting a pizza.

Nodding, I handed the concierge a wad of bills and shut the door. I didn't bother with a glass, instead choosing to drink straight from the bottle. I wanted to get shitfaced so I would be able to forget my problems. Bella didn't love my sorry ass anymore, and who could blame her? I was a crazy, toxic nightmare of a husband.

The fucker was true to his promise and returned with the drugs in twenty minutes. He'd even gone through the trouble of concealing it in a box of fancy chocolates. I let him keep the fucking change, which was almost three hundred dollars after the two eight balls he'd managed to sore. I shut the door after he told me to come to him if I needed to re-up my stash.

After snorting a few lines, I downed the last of a bottle of fucking Mezzaluna vodka while playing with one of Bella's lacy bras. With my photographic memory, I was able to recall the exact sexual encounter which had led to me peeling it off of her luscious body_. Pure-fucking-torture. _

Eventually, I passed out on the kitchenette floor. When I came around again, I decided I needed to talk to my babydoll. She hadn't been taking my calls for the last few weeks, but I suddenly felt like I needed to hear her sweet voice...a reprieve from hell.

"Bella," I rasped, surprised that she'd even picked up her cell, but then the line went silent for a few minutes.

"I told you not to call me. My son has been throwing temper tantrums all day, and I'm tired. Unlike you, some of us have responsibilities."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't phone again," she whispered before hanging up.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

The next day I managed to make it out of bed and get dressed in time for brunch. I was a fucking expert on how to hide a bad night, so once I was done I looked like I had had a good night's sleep. My father had taught me how to look normal so Esme wouldn't ride his ass for letting me drink and smoke when I was younger.

After putting on my newest blue Gucci suit, I walked to the elevator with my guard. A few floors later, we picked up a couple of passengers. One woman stepped close to me and held out her smartphone. I smiled and shook my head. She pouted for a nanosecond before moving on to the next victim.

On the drive over, I decided to check in with Jane. "Talk."

I could almost hear her roll her eyes over the phone. "Bella and Angela are having lunch with Giles today. You know, he has a great ass. If I was still straight…"

I pinched the bridge of my nose and leaned forward. "Fuck! Are you keeping an eye on her? I don't trust that motherfucker!"

Jane tsked annoyingly. "Dude, did you forget the part where she caught you with your dick out in a hotel room? You cheated. Bella is fragile, and Giles makes her smile. I'm not going to play Suzy Helper for you this time."

"Fuck you, Jane," I growled, throwing the phone on the leather seat.

What if Bella and Giles were sleeping together? It wasn't like I could say shit since I'd fucked up the marriage first, but I still didn't want my wife with another man. Imagining her going down on him made me want to fly to Seattle and shoot him in the goddamn head!

Caius and Liam had had an early morning meeting with a few local arms dealers, so they were already waiting at the restaurant. I kissed them both on the cheek, as was our custom, and took my seat. I felt like I was going to exploded at any moment.

"Maggie told us what's been going on. Are you fucking stupid? Bella loves you," Liam stated as he poured a glass of wine.

"I messed it all up now. The one thing she always asked for was trust, and I fucking cheated. I don't deserve her or Dante. I'm fucking crazy."

Caius patted me gently on the back. "You're not crazy, you have a disorder that can be treated with meds and lifestyle changes. As for Bella…she needs time."

Liam rubbed his jaw and stared at me. "Cai is right, son, you aren't broken beyond repair. I've seen glimpses of goodness in you, but you're so fuckin' set on pushing everyone away and being alone. Trust me, you need a good woman like Bella in this life. Don't go down without a fight."

After eating, we went to my newly rented D.C. office, courtesy of Polaris, and had a teleconference with Marcus. Naples had been going to shit because there was always a constant shift of power. I would have gone if my godfather needed me, but even I knew my volatile temper would land me in deep trouble over there.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

"You have gorgeous hair, baby," some bitch slurred while trying to get closer to me.

I'd pulled a teenage move and snuck out of the hotel. Fortunately, my new bodyguard didn't have Felix's morality. It had taken us about fifteen minutes to walk to a club. We were in the upscale part of D.C. so I wasn't worried. Besides, I never traveled anywhere without my fucking SIG.

I pushed the drunk bitch away and continued walking to the VIP section. There were a few hip hop posers and some prostitutes, but I didn't want to sit with them. I was a fucking leader and not a follower. It didn't take long for people to gravitate towards me. I'd worn a pair of black cashmere slacks, a gray button down, and a leather motorcycle jacket. I'd also taken time to make my hair extra messy and put some effort into my look.

After declining almost twenty women, I finally decided to dance with one. She had short brown hair and a nice smile, but she wasn't anywhere near as beautiful as Bella. Drunk, we grinded hard against each other- practically fucking on the dance floor. Then I led her away to the bathroom so we could snort a few lines.

By the time we got back to the floor, the DJ had turned up the music. I was fucking burning up, so I unbuttoned my shirt and tossed it on the ground. The bitch I was with mimicked me, and pretty soon everyone was shedding their clothes.

Sometime during the next song, a woman stuck her tongue in my mouth leaving an Ectasy pill behind. The coke already had my head floating above my shoulders, and the E made my dick join the party.

"Let's get out of here!" I yelled, gesturing to my entourage.

Since we couldn't go to my hotel, one of the fuckers in our group volunteered his Brownstone. My bodyguard had to practically carry me, and he even made me drink a bunch of Gatorade and water to flush my system.

When I got into the townhouse, I had to take a piss so I excused myself to the bathroom. After I cleaned up, there was a knock on the door. Three bitches wearing nothing but bras and panties were waiting for me. Smirking, I ushered them inside.

The next few hours were a blur. I fucked, drank, snorted, and fucked again. Deep inside, I knew I was digging my own grave. I was basically overdosing. My bodyguard took my gun away after I pointed it at him when he was trying to make me leave. The higher I got, the more I began to lose my fucking mind.

My father became as real as he ever was, and I even felt fucking snakes crawling underneath my skin. "Get them off of me," I mumbled desperately.

The bitch closest to me stood up, snorted a line, and left me in the bed alone. The rest were already passed out around the room or fucking some other guys. I was in my element. The old Edward had done this countless times and been fine with it, so why did I feel disgusted with myself?

I was thinking about Bella when I felt liquid run down my nose. _Fucking nosebleed_. Groaning, I tried to reach for a nearby towel but realized I couldn't even move my arms or legs. I was completely numb except for my pounding heart.

"You've gone too far, Edward," my father whispered, putting a cold cloth on my forehead.

I scowled pathetically and told him to fuck off. The room began to spin and I blacked out. The next time I came to, I was laying in my own vomit. My voice was too raw to yell for help, and none of the other people in the room were awake.

Eventually, I managed to roll off the bed and crawl to a wastebasket. I vomited again, and noticed my chest was covered in dried and wet blood. My head felt like it had been pounded in mush with a hammer. I just wanted to fucking die.

All of a sudden, I was being lifted onto a stretcher while Caius held my hand. The lights hurt my eyes, so I closed them and fell back into a restless sleep. The nightmares came hard and fast. Bella and Dante died in a million different ways, and in each scenario I was powerless to save them.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

"I should have known, Marcus! He was acting too perfect. Yes, we're flying him out as soon as he's cleared. I feel like it's my fault…"

I tried to speak, but my body wouldn't cooperate. When it got too much for me, I went back to hell again. In between my bouts of lucidness, I heard doctors speaking and machines beeping. A few times I even heard Caius talking to who I assumed was Bella.

My father hovered over my bed, staring deeply into my eyes. "You have demons like me. It's too hard to fight them. Just…give in and it can all be so easy."

Trembling, I managed to give him the middle finger. "Fuck you," I croaked.

The next time I woke up, I was lying in a normal bed. The room was too fucking dark to see anything. I sat up slowly, wincing at the pain in my joints. I felt like shit, but I was still alive. The first thing I wanted to do was get on a flight and go to Bella and Dante.

Suddenly, bright lights came on overhead. Dr. Uley and another doctor I didn't know were standing in the doorway. I watched them write notes and discuss shit like I wasn't in the room.

Just as I was about to lose my shit, Uley spoke. "Congratulations, you survived your first major suicide attempt. I knew you were close to the edge, but I couldn't force you to get help until now."

The other doctor studied me like I was a fucking scientific experiment while murmuring something about brain function. I decided I definitely didn't like the new fucker. He probably wanted to put me back in the fucking…

"Shit!" I screamed, pushing my blanket aside.

Dr. Uley stepped forward. "Yes, Edward, you are back in the white padded room. Dr. Crowley", he pointed to the douchebag in the white coat, "is going to treat you. He has some slightly controversial methods, but his success rate with bipolar patients is amazing."

The dark-skinned man, Dr. Crowley, finished his chart and sat down in a nearby desk chair. "Mr. Cullen, it's time you decide whether you want to live or die. The choice is yours."

* * *

_Anyone still here? I know it was rough to read, but I tried to capture his mania and depression. Please visit my blog for more information. I know you miss Dante and Bella, because I do too. Edward has to choose his own path. Please click the review button and tell me your thoughts. I'll be with the Stoli. _

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	14. Chapter 13: Creep Part 2

**_A/N:_** _Thanks for all the heartfelt reviews. I tried to reply to as many as I could. Would you believe me if I told you there was a Donward and Babydoll lemon in this chapter?__ Months pass in this one. I don't want to drag this fic out longer than necessary so I won't be pulling a long ass New Moon separation. Edward hasn't been forgiven by any means, so don't think_ _Donward got off easily. __Re read the new and improved Prologue, in particular Bella's flashback, to understand the ending. Also visit my BLOG (link on Profile Page) for more information about bipolar disorder and other related things._

_P.S. To all the Yogaward and Countrymusicward readers, there will be updates this week. The last chapter and epi of Yogaward is done. I just don't want to click complete :( I will also finish The Sleep Stalker for the few people that read that one. Put me on author alert to get every update.  
_

* * *

**When you were here before  
Couldn't look you in the eye  
You're just like an angel  
Your skin makes me cry  
You float like a feather  
In a beautiful world  
I wish I was special  
You're so fucking special  
But I 'm a creep  
I 'm a weirdo  
What the hell am I doing here?  
I don't belong here  
I don't care if it hurts  
I want to have control  
I want a perfect body  
I want a perfect soul  
I want you to notice  
When I'm not around  
You're so fucking special  
I wish I was special**

Creep-Radiohead

_**EPOV**_

"They're so beautiful. My mind didn't do them justice," I mumbled, staring down at a brand new picture of Dante and Bella playing at the beach.

The last week had been hell, but it was all worth it for this reward. Bella looked on happily while Dante sat between her legs tapping a plastic shovel against the sand. They both seemed d so carefree and young. If I didn't fucking know better, I might have thought Bella was just some teen girl babysitting someone else's baby.

Dr. Crowley typed something on his Ipad before looking up at me. "You look more alive than I've seen you since you arrived. Your family certainly has a positive effect on your countenance."

Sighing, I sat down in the chair he offered. "I messed up so badly…they're never going to forgive me. I thought…I thought pushing them away would make everything better but…"

"It backfired," he finished blandly.

"At least they're happy without my sorry ass."

The doctor leaned forward and pointed to the picture. "Look again."

Slowly, I looked down at the photo. This time I could see the bags under Bella's eyes and strain around her mouth. Plus, Dante wasn't really playing-he was throwing a small tantrum. Just like me, my family had learned to pretend to be happy without the actual emotion.

"Fuck."

Dr. Crowley nodded. "Things are not always how they appear on the surface. It's easy to hide but being yourself is much harder. Why do you think Bella is pretending?"

I shrugged. "She doesn't want anyone to worry about her. She's so fucking selfless."

"Do you think being selfless is a good trait?"

"I guess in some situations but not when it's causing her pain."

Crowley wrote down something else on his Ipad. "This session is over. I want you to think about what you just said and write your thoughts in the journal. Have a good night, Mr. Cullen."

Soon, the psychiatric technician grunt led me back to my padded room. Because I was still a suicide risk, I wasn't allowed to decorate. The only possession besides my bed was a Mac laptop, with no wireless internet, which I used to type my personal journal.

After taking the pills the tech handed to me, I sat down on my bed and began typing feverishly. These new deep thought sessions were very hard for me because I was used to internalizing so much of my life. For the first time in forever, I felt like I didn't have to hide.

At eleven, some fucker came to make sure I was headed to bed. I had a strict set schedule which was supposed to help with my healing process. Lucky for the fucker, I didn't want to pick a fight.

The next day was more of the same. I had breakfast, intense therapy, introspection, art, and meals. My earlier good behavior had given me a half an hour workout period on my schedule, so I used that time to lift weights and shoot the shit with the other patients whom were almost all Mafia men, too.

I carried Bella and Dante's picture everywhere with me. If I felt like losing my shit or trying to escape, I'd just look down at it and change my priorities. I'd royally fucked up my own life but to know my wife and son were so broken really messed with my head.

One of the strangest things I'd learned was that I liked painting. At first, I had thrown the shit all over the room and stomped out. After that little stunt, I'd been put back in the straitjacket until I apologized to the elderly art teacher. She hadn't deserve that shit, and I was truly sorry.

Shortly after, we were told to paint something which made us feel afraid. Men like us didn't really like to admit to weakness, so I was surprised when everyone began the assignment before me. It didn't take long for the competitive spirit in my blood to rise, and the picture flowed out like blood from my fingertips.

"Who is this man, dear?" Mrs. Snyder asked, peeking over my shoulder at the easel.

"Edward Masen Sr. You said to paint the thing that scares us the most…it's my father."

She quietly patted my back and moved on to the next patient. I'd chosen to depict Edward Sr. as garish as he'd been in real life, with his multiple expensive Rolex and tailored Gucci suits. I'd even added a few faceless bitches in the background to make it seem more realistic.

I was more than a little surprised when the paintings were unveiled. More than a few men were scared of women-whether it was their daughter, wife, mother, or sister. No one had painted death or guns, things fuckers like us saw daily.

At four, I was sent for my daily session with Crowley. He always looked pensive when I walked into the fucking room, like I was a puzzle to be solved. There was just something about the man that freaked me out.

"I've been reading your journals. I'm a little shocked at what you've written."

I slumped and began chewing my nails, a habit I'd picked up here. "Why?"

"There are many things. First of all, your self worth is one of the lowest I've ever come across."

"I'm a piece of shit. It's not rocket science."

Crowley wrote something down before continuing. "Secondly, you don't really trust anyone."

"I trust Bella."

He shook his head. "No, you don't. You didn't trust her to be able to handle your disorder or infidelity. You just hid it all until it became blatantly obvious to everyone."

"Fuck you!"

"Lastly, you've put Bella on such a high pedestal no one would ever be worthy of her affections. She's practically a deity in your eyes."

"My wife is perfect, and she's my only angel in this Hell."

Crowley's obsidian eyes bored into mine. "Bella is a human woman with flaws just like the rest of us, Edward."

Hearing her name come out of his mouth sent me over the edge. I fucking punched him in the jaw. He could say whatever he wanted about me, but my babydoll was off limits. He was fucking out of line, and I didn't care if they took away all my goddamn privileges for my reaction.

I was in a blind rage by the time security came to pull me off of the motherfucker. Dr. Crowley had played college football at some big ten school, so he was by no means a lightweight. He'd been able to hold me off until backup arrived. Knowing I couldn't really hurt him just make me angrier.

"I'll fucking kill you," I snarled, kicking over a chair.

"See you in a few days, Mr. Cullen," he replied casually, as if we were having another basic session.

I refused to calm down, so they put me back in the straitjacket. I muttered and cursed in Italian the whole time. Later when dinner was brought to me, I threw it in the small wastebasket I'd been given. I wanted to get the fuck out of this loony bin and fast.

When bedtime came, I took all the pills they gave me. Unfortunately, I still had trouble sleeping. I stayed up thinking about what Doctor Crowley said about my babydoll. She was perfect, wasn't she? Bella never intentionally hurt anyone.

No one bothered me the next day except to shove food or pills in my mouth. I felt like shit, so I didn't fight. The more I thought about it, the more I understood Crowley hadn't insulted Bella. He'd just questioned my views on her as a person. Maybe I had put her on a pedestal. She'd once accused me of the same thing in Italy after I beat up some asshole for touching her without permission.

The next day, I was taken out of the straitjacket and allowed to eat breakfast with the other patients. Not surprisingly, more than half the ward had been friends with my father. They treated me like a favored son or grandson in some cases. When I got sick of hearing lies about what a great guy my dad had been, I went to sit in the garden.

"Calmed down have you? We missed you in art class," Mrs. Synder said, taking a seat beside me. The guards in the yard moved closer, but she didn't seem to care.

"You probably don't miss me."

She laughed lightly and adjusted her jacket. "Edward, do you realize the painting you did of your father looks almost exactly like you?"

Did it? "That's how I remember him."

"We don't have to turn into our parents. My own father was a drunken tyrant and my mother was his whipping post. I'd like to think I ended up better than both of them." I sat and pondered her words as she left.

**~~LAMTAF~~**

Three weeks down. After a written and verbal apology to Dr. Crowley and the staff and a week of solitude, I'd been allowed to resume my old schedule. I worked harder than ever at the gym and on my paintings. I even volunteered in the kitchen a few times so I could learn how to cook something special for Bella when I got released.

I felt good and most of my outside scars had healed. I'd grown a heavy beard, so my newest reward was being allowed to shave-with supervision of course. It was nice to get the fucking scruff off my face. I even fucking laughed when I thought about what Bella would think if she saw me all hairy and shit.

When I got to Crowley's office, I noticed that he'd set up a television. Immediately, I knew that I was in for an intense session. I took the picture of Bella and Dante out of my pocket to give me strength.

"Hello, Edward. Your family has been kind enough to record videos of why they want you to get help and return a better man. I debated showing you these at this stage, but I think you need some motivation and positive reinforcement. Shall we?"

I nodded, watching him turn on the screen. The first faces brought tears to my eyes…Esme and Carlisle. They talked about being proud of my progress. Unbeknownst to me, Mrs. Synder had sent them one of my garden paintings. Mom cried throughout the whole video while Carlisle comforted her and gave me words of encouragement.

"I thought they hated me after everything…" I didn't like to fucking cry but that shit had been emotional.

He shook his head. "They wouldn't give up on you that easily. You'd be surprised at the tongue lashings I've gotten from various family members who wanted to visit you. You're a very lucky man."

Everyone made an appearance, except for Jasper. I didn't expect him to care whether I lived or died after all the shit I'd done to his sister, but a part of me still hurt. I had a long way to go in terms of recovery, and perhaps some bridges were too burned to be repaired.

The last person on the screen made my heart stop. "Bella," I whispered, leaning forward eagerly. She was wearing a pretty sage green dress and her mahogany hair was up in a complicated twist. I physically ached to hold her in my arms again.

"Edward, I… There's so much between us. I just want you to know that I still care—that I'll always care for you. Dante and I love you, but we can't be your reason to heal. You have to do this for yourself.

Dr. Crowley paused the tape for a few minutes so I could wipe my eyes "Are you sure you can handle the rest?"

I nodded. "Put it back on."

"I don't want to give you false hope, because we won't be married much longer. I just… I just want you to get better so you can be in our lives. This may not be what you wanted to hear, but I can't coddle you anymore. It's time you stand on your own two feet. Get well and come home soon," she pleaded, looking straight into the camera.

After a long talk with the doctor, I was exhausted. I barely ate anything at dinner and avoided the other patients. I needed time to think and write in my journal. Bella had made it very clear she wanted a divorce, but she wasn't kicking me completely out of her life. Could I live with just being her friend?

The next day in art we were asked to paint a portrait of something that made us happy. I began a picture of Bella and Dante with angel wings but scrapped it, and instead began drawing them as they were even adding drool for my son. I painted Bella's freckles and her stubborn chin as well as her soft curves and beautiful hair.

"Very good, Edward," Mrs. Synder whispered, smiling affectionately at my painting.

By six, I was actually looking forward to dinner. Our institution was upscale, so we had actual chefs whom made edible food. I'd worked hard on the bisque and was curious to what everyone would say about it. Thankfully, it was a hit. I marked the recipe as one I could make for Bella and Dante.

The next day flew by, and before I knew it I was in therapy. Crowley wanted to talk about my past today, so I was already weary. No matter what happened, I'd vowed not to fly off the handle and get my ass put back in that motherfucking straitjacket.

"Have a seat. Tell me more about the day you turned fourteen." I cringed. We'd talked a little about my sexual history in previous sessions.

"My father always went out all out on birthdays, whether it was for friends or family members. He'd already given me a whore for my thirteenth, so he wanted to top himself…" I took a sip of water. "Mom wanted to throw me a party with my classmates with cake and video games, even a dance."

"Sounds nice," Crowley mumbled, making notes.

"Yeah. My father won in the end. He had his chauffeured Rolls Royce pick me up from school. I thought he'd be in the backseat waiting, but I was alone. The driver had been instructed not to tell me where we were going, but I wasn't really nervous."

"Why weren't you worried?"

"Because my father always took me to the best places and got me the best shit."

"Continue."

I sighed heavily, lost in the past. "The car pulled into the private garage of some house by the lakefront. I remember seeing a man and his son fishing nearby—I wished it was me and my father, but we didn't do things like that together.

"The driver took me inside and left me. There were five bitches dressed in expensive lingerie sitting around the living room. All eyes turned to me as I entered the room, and they began simpering and licking their lips. I'd already been with a few women by then but never that many at once…"

"Take a minute," Crowley commanded gently.

I squeezed the water bottle until it popped. "My father walked into the room holding some bullshit designer cake which looked better than it tasted. He asked me to make a wish and watched proudly as I blew out my candles. Then…then, he told me that the bitches were mine for the weekend. He said he'd tell mom we were camping but really he planned to spend the weekend with his latest mistress."

"How did you feel?"

"I was happy at the time. What teenage shithead doesn't want pussy?"

"Did you feel like you could say no?"

"Not really. I always wanted to make my old man proud."

"Go on."

I sighed, running my fingers through my thick hair. "I fucked them all in various ways. My father had forbidden hard drugs until I was sixteen, but he had allowed them to give me weed. I stayed high and fucked all weekend until he came to get me."

"What do you plan to do when Dante turns fourteen?"

The answer came out of my mouth before I could process it. "Let his mom throw him a party with his friends and take him fishing. I just want to take him fishing."

I slept poorly that night and the next. The doctor upped my medication. I didn't really have much energy-I'd been told it was a normal side effect for someone just beginning treatment. I wasn't really too angry, because I needed to rest.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

After six weeks, I was finally being released. My therapy sessions with Dr. Crowley would continue long distance and Dr. Uley would be my in person Psychiatrist. I was given meds along with instructions about diet and exercises which could be beneficial to people with bipolar disorder. Overall, I was nervous but also optimistic about going home.

Mrs. Snyder was particularly sad to see me leave. She wouldn't take the fucking check I'd tried to give her, so I'd spent the last week painting her a picture of the raging ocean. She had loved it and thanked me with a kiss on the cheek.

Dr. Crowley and three guards were waiting for me in his office. One of them shut the door after I took a seat. They shared a look with each other. Then Crowley nodded. I was just about to ask what was happening when I felt myself being forcefully held down and strapped back into the straitjacket.

"Get the fuck off of me! I haven't done anything," I yelled, squirming to get free.

"We've decided to keep you for the duration, Mr. Cullen. Your Godfathers have given us express permission. You will be released by the time State Senate goes into session this fall."

I snarled. "You fucking lied to me! I'm supposed to go home today."

Dr. Crowley leaned over my head, which was being pressed into the desk by the biggest goon. "How do you feel right now?"

"How the fuck do you think I feel? I'm being forced to do shit against my will. I'm fucking scared, okay. I don't know what you want from me. I feel like everyone has been lying. Fuck! Just…let me go."

"Release him," Crowley said, walking across the room.

I rubbed my sore shoulders. "There was no need for this shit. I haven't needed the jacket in weeks."

"I want you to remember how you felt just now, because I'm sure it's exactly how Bella felt when you tried to rape her. She had to have been scared and felt betrayed. I want you to write her a long, heartfelt apology on the plane ride home. Good luck, Edward. We'll be in touch," he promised, holding out his beefy hand.

I shook it gratefully. In my own way, I kind of liked the fucker. "I'm sure we will. Thanks…for everything."

Di was waiting for me when I got out. She kissed my cheeks and took me home to the mansion for lunch. I nodded and ate while she filled me in on everything that had been going on during my absence. I was shocked to learn Bella had picked out the cities for her book tour, and that the book had moved up the bestseller list.

"I'm fucking proud of her," I mumbled while reading an interview she gave to a local blog.

"Me too, bambino. She's really been strong. I was out there last weekend, and we had a spa day with the girls. Dante is so big! I would have stayed longer, but Marcus needs me to handle things here while he's gone."

I frowned. "Hey, I can…"

She tut-tutted and poured more Parmesan over my pasta. "No you can't. I have a large group of men under my command and Caius has been home the last few weeks. I'm tougher than I look. Go home and see your family. I'll be just fine."

After lunch, Caius and Di drove me to the airstrip. I'd been given two new guards whom were practically pit bulls. I wasn't allowed to even take a drink of water unless they sniffed it, and all my shit had been thoroughly searched. I had a long way to go to earn back _mi famiglia's _trust.

"Ti amo, Di," I said, hugging her tightly.

"Kiss my little angel and daughter-in-law for me. I love you, Edward."

Caius had to stay so he gave me some kind words and asked me to go say hi to Athenadora and Penny when I got time. I promised him I would and let him kiss my cheek. He held me close, studying my face for a long time before waving me away.

Later while on the plane, I began writing my apology to Bella. It was fucking jumbled and all over the place, but the most honest things I'd told her in a long time. I just hoped she would accept it and that it would help her heal.

We arrived in Seattle a little after nine. I wanted to go straight to Bella, but we'd all decided it would be best if I stayed with Esme and Carlisle, at least for the first week. The house was my babydoll's and if she didn't want me there, I wasn't allowed to be there.

My parents picked me up and fussed over my progress. My Phantom now belonged to Bella, so they drove me. Di told me Marcus officially had Jenks make Bella the lead on all our accounts and assets. Legally she could sell my Phantom if she wanted, but I hoped she'd let me try to earn it back.

"You look much better," Carlisle said as we walked upstairs.

"Thanks. I feel pretty good. I'm just taking it one day at a time."

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

"Damn it, Jane, is he looking at her tits?" I'd been home for two weeks. Bella wasn't ready to see me yet, so I'd been basically stalking her ass from afar.

"I'm hanging up on you now. From what I've seen, Giles is a gentleman. I would step in if Bella wasn't safe!"

I rolled my eyes and put the phone away. "Deep breaths," I murmured. Stress management was my fucking savior lately.

Gina walked into the office, took one look at me, and walked back out. I didn't work alone with her anymore, but I hadn't fired her because I wanted to make her life a living hell. She already had to submit to weekly mandatory drug tests, same as me. We'd both been wrong and done awful shit, but she'd made me a prize to be won from Bella.

Jasper and Demetri were holding down the club. I wasn't allowed within a mile of HADES, or I'd be sent back to the white padded room. Truthfully, I didn't miss it. The club used to be my life, but it just wasn't important anymore.

"Did you fax the fucking papers to Polaris," I barked at one of my new lowly interns. The fucking geek almost dropped his triple shot of shit froo-froo drink.

"I'll get right on that, Mr. Cullen."

I knew I was hell to work for, so I was planning to give some of the fucking grunts actual jobs as soon as they graduated college. According to Marcus, I was not allowed in Mafia business until I showed long-term improvement. Fortunately, State Senate duties and my newly set up corporations kept me busy.

Emmett's Psychotherapy practice had really grown, so he'd rented space in Dr. Uley's building-which meant we were all pretty close. I frequently had lunch with my brother. I'd forgotten how fucking funny and smart he was when you got to know him.

"What the fuck is that?" I asked pointing to the huge salad he'd just opened. I'd had a small dining area set up in my office for the days when we didn't want to go out.

"Rose wants another baby. The doctor says I need more vitamins to…you know."

I chuckled, opening the large Sicilian-style pizza I'd ordered. "Can you at least have one slice?"

He practically threw the salad aside, moaning after he took a bite of the first piece. "Mmmm, greasy sausage and spicy pepperoni. Don't tell Rose."

Surprisingly my sister-in-law had been pretty nice since I'd returned home, so I made sure Emmett ate some of the damn salad-even having some myself. I envied my bother because he had a wife who loved him and hope for more children.

"So...everything still going well? You know you can talk to me."

I smirked, pouring myself a glass of sparkling lemon water. "I'm good, man. The Lithium and anti-psychotic combo isn't too bad."

He nodded. "Any horrible side effects?"

"I'm thirsty all the fucking time."

"The lifestyle changes you've made will definitely help. There are so many successful men and women with families who have learned to manage bipolar disorder. Stay away from the drugs and alcohol, and you'll be fine."

After lunch, we made plans to go running during the weekend. Emmett had always been big on fitness, and it was one of the things my doctors recommended for my treatment. If I was going to have to watch my babydoll from afar, at least I could look good.

Later, Jenks came to my office. Bella and I were still legally married, but she didn't want to be so I'd talked her into a trial separation instead of a full divorce. Deep down I knew that it was inevitable, but I figured she was giving me time to get my shit straight.

"The papers are all drawn up. I can get Bella's signature myself or you can deliver the papers. I personally think it's better to come from the spouse, but it's your call."

"Thanks. I'll deliver the papers if she'll see me. Give me a few days."

He went over the terms of the legal separation which both Bella and I had spent the last few weeks drawing up. We didn't meet together, but Jenks negotiated for us. I was only allowed supervised visits with my son and no overnights until I'd had more time clean and sober. My babydoll had sole custody. Spousal support was paid to me because she held all the accounts. I got a weekly allowance from my wife and only used it for necessities.

All of a sudden, Jenks began to look uncomfortable. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but Bella would like your clothing account budget cut in half. She says you have enough silk shirts."

I threw my head back and laughed heartily. "Tell her I said okay. I'm actually running out of places to put all my suits and ties."

He breathed a sigh of relief and passed me a pen. "I think you've both handled this well and put your child first. There won't be a problem getting court approval once Bella signs."

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

A week later, I got to see my wife-unfortunately, it wasn't under the best circumstances. I'd been having dinner with some political contributors and Caius when I received phone calls from Felix and Jane. As soon as I'd read the first message, I'd begged Cai to let me go to her. Nodding, he had a car and chauffer sent around to the front. Panicking, I took my fucking pills and tugged on my hair while the driver maneuvered through Friday night traffic.

The minute we pulled up to the club, I was out of the car. There were fucking douchebags everywhere and some bitches looked hopeful. I tossed the bouncer some cash and stood aside while he opened the door for me amidst boos from the crowd.

The fucking place was loud as hell and the strobe lights gave me a headache. It didn't take long to find my wife, because she was in the center of the room grinding with assholes while Jane tried to keep them off of her ass. Heads would roll for this shit.

Angrily, I pushed some dickhead aside and grabbed my babydoll's arm. "Come on, Bella. We're going home. What the fuck has gotten into you? You're here with your ass hanging out... Is this any way for a wife and mother to behave?" The shit she was wearing barely classified as clothing.

She snorted. "_"_Why do you care? Fuck off, Edward."

"I care because you're my wife!" I screamed, lifting her into my arms.

Some giant motherfucker came to see if Bella needed help but Felix took him aside. I saw my babydoll look to Jane, but Jane didn't come to her rescue. I just wanted to get my babydoll out of the shithole and away from leering eyes.

When we got outside she made me put her down in the fucking private exit alleyway. Then we just stared at each other for a long time. I'd missed being this close and drank her beauty in like a fine wine. She'd lost so much fucking weight, but she was still sexy as hell. The chauffeur came to get me, and I asked him to leave.

Being so close to Bella made me lose my fucking mind. I pressed my body against hers and moaned in pleasure. It wasn't enough, so I gently pushed her against the wall.

"Make me stop. Please, make me stop. I'm clean—they tested me for sexually transmitted diseases, and I haven't been with anyone since the hospital. Still… make me stop," I pleaded, licking the shell of her delicate ear.

She raised her leg, bending it at the knee. "No." It came out like a breath.

"What happened to us, babydoll? We used to be so good," I whispered, sucking her top lip into my mouth. The business suit I was wearing wasn't the best for this kind of thing.

She looked up at me, pain clear as day in her big brown eyes. _"_You stopped being my husband and started fucking other women. I'm tired, Edward. It's so hard to even look at you_._"

Bella whimpered, which caused me to lose control and rip her thong right off. She helped me lift her skirt letting me know she was a willing participant. I unzipped my pants and thrust into her hard. She was so swollen and wet for me. The scent of her arousal was like manna after years in the wilderness.

While we were going at it, rain began to pour. In the back of my mind, I thought it was odd since the weather report had said it would be dry over the next two days. However, I was too focused on my wife to worry about trivial shit.

"Come for me, babydoll. Let me give you that. Come for me... I'm sorry..." I chanted quietly.

"Ungh...oh shit," she moaned, digging her nails into my ass.

Her pussy gushed as she swiveled and clawed at me. I thrust wild and desperately, almost like the first time we'd had sex. She clung to me helplessly and kept her face buried in the crook of my neck. I felt awful for how I was using her yet again, but neither one of us had the willpower to stop.

"Babydoll…"

"Edward…"

We reached completion at the same time. When the fucking sexual frustration was sated, I felt like a fucking pig. Frowning, I tucked myself in and zipped up my pants realizing I hadn't even used a fucking condom.

_Dumbass!_

"I've called around, Bella. You will not be allowed in any clubs in Seattle. Don't disobey me," I warned while fixing my tie. As expected, she fucking slapped me.

"Fuck you, Edward. Why don't you go back to your bimbos and leave me the hell alone. I hate you." A sharp pain went through my chest—it always hurt when she claimed to hate me.

When we got in the car, I reached in the briefcase I kept under seat and handed Bella the folder with the separation papers. I had to make things right.

"Here," I grunted.

"So that's it."

"That's it."

My babydoll stayed as still as a statue while I used towels to dry our wet bodies. She passed out soon after I wrapped her in a large blanket. I kissed her forehead and fucking cried like a baby.

When we got to the mansion, I carried her up the stairs, cleaned her off, and removed her skank outfit. Then I dressed her in a fresh pair of warm pajamas. She protested a little when I forced her to take some Advil and drink water but didn't really wake up.

For the next hour, I just watched her sleep. Eventually, Jasper came over to spend the night. I didn't want my babydoll to be alone, but I knew that she'd be angry if she woke up with me in the room. Jasper barely glanced my way as he walked up the stairs.

"Get out. You're the cause of this," he hissed, pointing towards the door.

I lowered my head. "I'm sorry. The separation papers are on the nightstand. I signed my half. I know you hate me Jasper, but I truly am sorry. I'm working on myself."

Alice and Jasper were also having major problems. They weren't even living in the same place. Jasper had rented his own condo and Alice was in our parent's guest cottage. My sister wanted to start a family, but Jasper had old demons like me.

I'd moved back into my old Penthouse for the time being, but there were stipulations. Tiredly, I stood still as a security person searched me for drugs and alcohol before going inside my lonely abode. I'd placed pictures of Bella and DC up everywhere, but the place still didn't feel as homey as it had when we'd all lived in it together.

After a long hot shower, I put on a pair of boxers and climbed into bed. Fresh memories of Bella's moans and whimpers assaulted me as I tried to rest. I wanted to be with her so badly, but it wasn't about me anymore. Having sex so soon had clearly been a mistake…a mistake my babydoll would regret.

"I'm a dickhead," I muttered to myself, turning off the lamp.

Later, I dreamed I was in a rainy garden. My hands worked expertly, digging and sowing seeds. I felt pride in what I was doing and didn't mind the sweat and mud. After awhile, the sky became a brilliant blue and the sun rose. Smiling, I watched two almond blossoms bloom.

* * *

_What did you think? There's a lot more ahead. Dante will grace us with his cuteness next chapter. Please review. I'll be with the Stoli. _


	15. Chapter 14: Don't Speak

**_A:N:_**_This is the chapter leading to the end of the Prologue. The next chapter will be the Prologue ending from EPOV and the time after Bella faints. Please visit my **Blog** for songs and pictures. The link is on my **Profile** page. I don't really have much to say so have a great week!_**  
**

* * *

**You and me  
We used to be together  
Everyday together always  
I really feel  
That I'm losing my best friend  
I can't believe  
This could be the end  
It looks as though you're letting go  
And if it's real  
Well I don't want to know  
Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me cause it hurts  
Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me cause it hurts**

Don't Speak - No Doubt

_**BPOV**_

"You look like shit warmed over," Rose said as she helped me up from the bathtub.

I scrunched up my face and stuck out my tongue. "There goes my self-esteem."

Alice sighed. "Bella, we were just worried about you. Jane and Felix didn't want to risk going against you, and you were being stubborn."

I slipped on a robe. "Come here," I begged, holding my arms out. "I know I messed up. Thanks for going out with me. I was stupid, and I learned my lesson." They both hugged me tightly.

I fell asleep again a little after we ate lunch and didn't wake up until after four. Yawning loudly, I stood up and stretched. Then I threw on a pair of cutoff shorts and an old baseball t-shirt I'd had since I was a teenager.

When I got to the kitchen, I was shocked at what I saw. "Wh-what are you doing here?"

He just smirked and pointed to something on the stove. I hated that he looked so good in his gray slacks and V-neck white tee. He'd let his hair grow out soit was more wild than ever, and his eyes were like emeralds on fire. My body's natural response was embarrassing.

"I've only been here for ten minutes. Jasper is in the living room. I just brought you something to eat and… I wanted to see how you're doing."

I walked over and glanced at the seafood and steak plate. "I'm not really hungry." Unfortunately, my stomach chose the moment to let out an angry growl.

Edward chuckled. "Sit down at the breakfast bar, and I'll get it ready. I know just the way you like it." The double entendre didn't escape me.

I wanted to run out of the room and get Jasper to handle my problems, but I needed to stand my ground. Edward was no longer my husband, but maybe we could forge a friendship. It would be easier for Dante if he had two parents who didn't fight like angry cats all the time.

Edward made polite conversation while I just gave one word answers and played with my Iphone. I didn't want him to bring up what had happened in the club alley. I'd been stupid and reckless. We hadn't even used a condom!

He placed some dishes in front of me. I had to admit Edward did make a nice plate of food. "Thanks. Um, this looks good."

He sat on the leather stool next to me and began drinking from a huge bottle of water. "Babydoll, we need to talk."

I dropped my fork. "First of all, I'm not your _babydoll_ anymore. Secondly, there's nothing to discuss. I just want to forget it ever happened."

He leaned over and placed his large hand on my thigh. I noticed his usually buffed and manicured nails were broken and uneven. An electric jolt shot up my leg and landed right at the wet place between my thighs. I felt like he had me under a spell.

"I can't forget. I told my new therapist, and he thinks we need to talk. Lack of communication was always one of our biggest problems."

I scoffed. "You come back and act like everything is okay. It's almost like you don't remember fucking all those whores and breaking my heart. Where were you when Dante was crying his eyes out from teething or when his first tooth finally broke through? I'd rather you have stayed the ruthless prick you were than to become this holier-than-thou reformed asshole."

"I can't go back and change the past, Bella. I'm trying here. I want to do right by you and DC. Please," he begged, holding out his hand.

"Last night was a mistake. I was drunk and in a bad place. It won't ever happen again. Besides, weren't you the one who once said 'dress like a dirty whore and they'll fuck you like a dirty whore'? I should have listened."

He began tugging on his hair and pacing the gleaming floor. "Fuck! It wasn't like that, babydoll. I just needed to be close to you. I know it was too soon…"

"Too soon? Edward, you left me with separation papers last night. We will _never_ be a couple again. The only reason I'm not filing for divorce yet is because I want to give you a little more time to get your head together. But in my eyes, we are through!" I yelled, walking away.

I only made it a few steps before his arm encircled my waist. My body went rigid. Part of me was scared he was going to lash out and hurt me, the other part was scared that he would be tender and touch me intimately. Both scenarios would have been equally jarring.

He pulled me flush against his body, my back to his front. "You don't know what you do to me," he whispered, using his fingers to find the exposed flesh at my midriff. "I miss you so much."

I wiggled, trying to break free and gasped when I felt his hardness. "Let me go, Edward. W-we can't keep going down this road."

He loosed his hold so I could turn around. For several minutes, we just stared as if we were having a silent conversation. Ever so often, Edward's fingers would twitch but he didn't make a move to touch me. We were close enough that I could smell the mint on his breath.

"I don't regret last night, especially if it's the last time we'll ever have together. I know I fucking don't deserve you. I'm a bastard, but I do love you. I will spend the rest of my life proving it, even if you never take me back in your life. I guess I'll go now."

I nodded, breaking the spell. "That would be best. Give Dante a kiss for me. I'll be by to pick him up tomorrow afternoon. Oh, and don't let him have too much sugar. Esme can't say no."

"Last week, he ate all the cream off of my cannoli while I was watching the game. He looked so innocent... it was like he didn't even do it." I liked the way Edward's face lit up when he talked about our little lamb.

Suddenly, I remembered the company he'd been keeping and felt sick. "Listen, I still don't want Gina or any of your other bimbos around my baby boy. If you can promise me that and pass all your drug tests, he can stay overnight with you sometimes."

Edward looked like I'd just scratched his precious Phantom. "Gina is just a fucking employee. I'm not having sex with anyone else besides you." My cheeks turned pink. "I would like to keep him over at the Penthouse, or if it's easier I can stay here a few nights."

I shook my head. "I don't trust us in the same house together for a whole night. We have too many memories. The flesh is weak."

He sighed. "Well, you're welcome to stay at the Penthouse whenever you want. You pretty much own it and everything else now."

I put my hands on my hips, narrowing my eyes. "Is that supposed to be some put down of how I was just with you for money. I never wanted a cent! I only took over the accounts because yourGodfathers…"

I didn't get a chance to finish the sentence because his lips were on mine. I moaned and pushed my tongue between his teeth. He tasted fresh and slightly tangy, like lemon. I moved my body closer trying to create some much needed friction. Edward's hands grabbed my butt and pressed our hips together. We both cried out.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Jasper asked loudly. Edward and I separated like teenagers caught necking in a supply closet.

"We were just talking…" Edward mumbled

Jasper's hair was in a ponytail and his blond curls flew as he yelled. "Haven't you fucked with her enough? My god, she barely got through James and all your shit from the past few months. I guess you won't be happy until you put her in the graveyard with Charlie and Renee!"

I whimpered and wiped fresh tears from my eyes. "I want you both to leave me alone." Edward started to argue, but I give him a pleading look.

"Call me if you need me. I'm sorry."

After he left, Jasper grabbed my arm. "What the hell are you doing? He's the same man that OD'd on drugs and cheated on you with numerous women. Where is your head?"

I pushed my brother away. "I can take care of myself."

He snorted, pointing to the button on my shorts which had somehow become undone. "You're doing such a great job!" Sarcasm laced his every word. "Pretty soon you'll be pregnant again, and he'll be off fucking another group of sluts. You used to be such a smart woman, Bella. Now I'm ashamed of you."

"Get out! Instead of lecturing me, why don't you go home and fix your problems with Alice? I know about your meetings with Maria. You aren't so different from Edward. All you men care about is yourselves and who can wet your dicks the most. Well I'm done with all of you." I was loud enough to wake the dead.

"If you want to let that prick ruin you again, it's not on my shoulders. Just remember things like Herpes and HIV are real. I wouldn't want Dante to grow up an orphan because his mother couldn't keep her underwear on!"

I slapped him across his left cheek hard enough to leave a mark. "I said get out! I don't want you here. You don't know anything."

After he stormed out, I sat on the floor and cried. In some ways, Jasper was right. If he hadn't of walked in on us, I might have let Edward fuck me again. It was like I forgot all the bad things when I was with him and it just became as all consuming need to possess his body as he possessed mine. It wasn't normal or healthy, but I was addicted to his touch.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

Soon after my breakdown, I made an appointment to see Dr. A. She wanted both Edward and I to keep coming in for couple's sessions, but he had a lot of therapy and honestly, I didn't think I was ready to handle all the emotional baggage. Thankfully, she'd agreed to see me alone.

"I can't control my body when I'm with him. He's dangerous, but I can't seem to stay away," I confessed sadly as I watched her write something down in a notebook.

"Edward is the one who calls to your body. We all have one person who does, but sometimes they aren't good for us. It's hard to maintain control when all you want is to feel good."

"How can I stop myself?"

She took off her glasses and looked into my eyes. "You have to decide what you want and stick to it, Bella. From what you've told me, it sounds like you're sending Edward mixed signals. He should know that he isn't allowed to touch or kiss you. If you don't set boundaries, neither of you will get better."

I sniffled and dug out a Kleenex. "I'm just as messed up as him, aren't I?"

Dr. A. clucked her tongue. "Neither of you is 'messed' up. Part of our journey as humans is always growing and changing. Some people give up and stay where they are, but others long to improve themselves. I think you want to be better."

I nodded. "I just want to be a good mother and be able to stay in a room with Edward so we can have a real adult conversation. The lust complicates everything."

"I always knew you two had a very strong attraction. It won't die just because the marriage is over. It will take time. You may always feel a need for Edward. He was your first lover and husband. I think there were moments when you felt safest with him. Now things have changed. It takes time to transition."

Soon, my hour was up. I hugged Dr. A. and invited her and Penny over to the house for dinner. Caius was still back and forth to Naples, and she needed to be around friends and family. She agreed to come as long as I let her bring the dessert.

Jane was waiting for me downstairs in the lobby. Two young guys were checking her out and practically drooling. She was wearing a green skirt that showed off her endless legs with a sleeveless black top cut low in the cleavage area.

"Hey, baby," I said, pulling her in for a hug. The guys' eyes bugged out of their heads.

Jane easily played along. "I missed you, hot stuff. Let's go home so I can lay you down and bury my face between your smooth thighs."

There was a strangled noise, and then we watched as the two guys rushed to the nearest restroom. I reached up and accepted the high-five Jane sent my way. Sometimes it was fun to make men suffer.

"I love it when you play dirty," Jane said, winking at me.

Giggling, we walked to my SUV and climbed inside. Jane told me about her and Jessica's plan for a much needed romantic dinner while I checked my phone. There were several emails from Giles about my upcoming book tour. We'd begun staying up late talking to each other. It was really easy to be myself with him.

**_Do you want to meet me for lunch at Garrett's? – Bella_**

A few minutes later, I got his text reply: **_Sure. I'll be there at one if that works for you. – Giles_**

I sent him a smiley emoticon. **_Perfect. Don't forget to bring that copy of Tennyson you told me about. – Bella_**

We were at a red light and Jane was staring at me. "What did Edward text to madke you smile so big?"

"Oh, um, that was Giles. We're having lunch at Garrett's restaurant. You can drop me off and go see Jess if you want. I'll be safe with Garrett and Giles there."

Jane looked worried. "I'll stay with you."

A few minutes later, we arrived at our destination. Garrett kissed us both on the cheek and led us to a table by the window. The restaurant was crowded with business people and socialite moms. I knew a few from the Senate parties and stopped to make small talk. Even though I was now wealthy, I still didn't feel at home with those kinds of people. I preferred the simple lifestyle.

"You look beautiful, darling," Giles declared as he sat down across from me.

Jane made a face. "I'll be in the back. Call me if you need anything," she said before disappearing.

I blushed and hunched my shoulders. "Thanks. Did you bring it?"

He reached in his fancy leather briefcase and pulled out a first edition copy of _Idylls of the King. _I squealed like a little girl and yanked it out of his hand. The linen cloth was still in good shape and all of the pages were crisp.

"Thanks! You don't know how long I've been looking for this. It will have a very prominent place on my library shelf," I promised, beaming at him.

He laughed at my enthusiasm. "It's not often that you find a woman who gets excited about old books. We are kindred, Bella."

Suddenly, Giles' eyes changed. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. It couldn't be… I turned around just in time to see Edward and an older looking man walk into the restaurant. He stopped and talked to a few people, but it was obvious he was making a beeline to our table. I internally cursed my bad luck.

"Bella," he said, lightly touching my upper arm. "I didn't know you were having lunch here today." I prayed the Lord would forgive him for the lie.

Giles held out his hand. "Hello, Mr. Cullen. Bella and I were just talking about Tennyson. Care to join us?"

_Et tu, Giles?_

Edward pointedly ignored him and looked at me. "The place is crowded. We can just add our chairs. Do you mind?"

I shrugged. "Whatever."

An eager waiter brought out two chairs and menus. Giles and I had ordered a lobster appetizer to share, and it arrived soon after Edward sat down. I felt his eyes on me as I reached over to put food on my small white plate. Giles and the other man seemed afraid to speak.

Seeing that he wasn't going to be introduced, Edward's dining partner held out his hand. "My name is Austin Meriwether. I work for Polaris and our company is doing some business with Edward's corporation. It's nice to meet you."

I gave his hand a quick shake before excusing myself. All the testosterone at the table was giving me a slight headache. While I did my business, I heard women in the bathroom talking about my table. They wanted to know if the guys were single and assumed I was just someone's secretary. To stay calm, I took out my Prada bag and applied more rouge lipstick.

"Is that a Hermes belt?" someone next to me asked enthusiastically.

"Yes. It was a gift from my sister-in-law." The woman went on to gush over my sleeveless navy dress and matching heels. She was like an encyclopedia on clothes. I decided that I preferred the men's company over a fashion lesson.

When I returned, all three men stood up. Giles was the first to pull my chair out. I smiled, thanked him, and sat down. Edward picked up his knife and began angrily cutting his meat. I didn't care about his tantrum because he had invited himself onto my lunch date, not the other way around.

Later, the waiter returned with our entree. I was starving and quickly started eating my _gambas ajillo_ also known as garlic prawns. Eleazar had been renowned for this dish, but Garrett had done a great job of making it his own. It hurt to think about Carmen and Eleazar but their spirit lived on in the recipes they'd left behind.

"I'll trade you a little of my spicy sausage dish for one of your prawns," Giles said, holding out his plate.

I giggled and gave him what he wanted. "Keep the sausage. I'm eating light today."

Edward pointed at us and glared. "Is this a business meeting or a date?"

"Bella and I… I would never," Giles sputtered, his blue eyes widening with panic.

I put my napkin aside. "Unlike some people, we have a professional relationship. Giles is my publisher and we'll be traveling together this summer. I would appreciate it if you refrained from these baseless accusations."

The Polaris guy choked on his food. Edward gave him a hard pat on the back which seemed to make it better. The rest of lunch went well. I ignored my ex and focused on Giles. We had a fun debate about what we thought was Tennyson's best book and finalized our hotel plans for the book tour.

Jane joined us after Giles paid the check. Edward had been rude and insisted on paying the whole bill, but I sided with my publisher. Austin did let Edward cover his lunch. Fortunately Garrett made my dessert to go because I couldn't spend another minute at the table.

Giles waved and shouted, "Have a great day, love!" before driving away.

"You told on me," I said accusingly as Jane pulled out on to the road.

"Well… he asked…"

I put my hand up. "You work for me, Jane. I'm the one who signs your paycheck now. I don't want Edward to know all of my business. We are legally separated. He has his life, and I have mine. _Capisce_?"

She sighed. "You really sounded like a Don just then. Okay, okay, I'll stop being a tattle tale."

Unfortunately, Edward was waiting for me in my office when we got to the bookstore. I closed the door and turned to him. He looked like he'd been pulling his hair out again, and his clothes were slightly wrinkled.

"Bella…"

"What do you want from me? I gave you everything I had and you betrayed my trust. I'm not an angel, and I can't save you," I whispered softly.

He held his hand up, as if he was reaching out to touch my cheek. "Please, babydoll. I'm trying to be a better man. Please."

It would have been so easy to believe his lies again. My whole body physically craved the comfort he could give in his strong arms, but it would never last. Edward and I sparked fast and burned out even quicker. The only good thing that came from our union was Dante.

"You can let yourself out. I'm tired," I stated, turning my back to him.

I heard him mumble, _"Mi Dispiace," _and then the door closed.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

Carlisle cleared his throat to get Riley and Bree's attention. They had arrived glued together and barely stopped making out long enough to eat. I thought it was cute the way Riley played with Bree's ponytail and kissed the few freckles on her nose.

"I am sorry," Bree said, turning ten shades of crimson.

Riley squeezed her hand and winked at Carlisle. "I'm not."

We all laughed as Riley got the fatherly stink eye from Carlisle. Riley and Bree were close to taking a big step in their relationship. Bree had already asked me and my sisters about sex and what to expect. She was nervous but loved Riley very much. I knew he would make her first time special.

"You're mighty quiet, Edward. What's going on with you?" Garrett asked, making small talk.

I looked up to see my ex was staring right at me. "Work and shit. I'm just tired."

Halfway through dinner, the babies began crying from the other room. I went to get Dante and Kate grabbed Sasha. They were both wide away and hungry. I made my little lamb a small bowl of mashed potatoes and cheese, and then Edward took over to feed him.

"They're so sweet together. It's like a living picture of past and current Edward," Esme said, smiling at them.

My little lamb was still fussy and uneasy with his daddy; but the more time they spent together, the more he began to calm down. It didn't take long before the bowl was empty. Edward kissed the top of Dante's head and gave him a bottle.

"Where did you get Sasha's outfit?" I asked Kate. "It's so cute!"

"Oh, this new baby boutique opened downtown. They have a few boys items, but it's mostly girls things like ribbons and silk dresses. I've spent a small fortune already."

"Don't I know it," Garrett mumbled, kissing her on the cheek.

Sasha squealed and held out her arms to Riley. He immediately stood up and took his sister. Bree beamed as he held the baby like a professional. I was so happy to see the families were happy to share baby Sasha. She was truly loved.

"I always wanted a little girl whom I could dress up. Don't get me wrong, Dante is great but baby girl clothes always make me melt," I confessed.

"I wanted a daughter, too." All eyes turned to Edward. "It would be nice for our son to have some siblings."

I smiled brightly at him. "Well, don't give up. Maybe you and your next wife or girlfriend will have a daughter."

Edward frowned and went back to feeding my little lamb. Everyone else at the table started private conversations or began eating again. I'd been feeling sick the last few days, so Esme had made me a hearty soup. Honestly, it was getting hard to keep anything down.

After dinner, Felix drove us home. I almost fell asleep in the car but managed to put it off until we made it in the house. I changed Dante's diaper, put on my jammies, and crawled into bed. My little lamb curled up next to my breast and suckled himself to sleep.

"Goodnight," I whispered, kissing his forehead.

The next day, I still felt bad so I decided to have a sick day. Dante and I played games and slept off and on. I vomited almost all morning, but by the time lunch came around I felt fine. I made us hoagies and cut some small enough for Dante to eat, though, most of it ended up in his hair.

The illness had also found a way to seep into my dreams. I had a recurring one where I was running in the sunflowers chasing Dante. I would finally find him and he'd be with two little girls without faces. I only knew they were girls because I could see the clothes clearly.

"Mommy is going crazy," I sighed, setting my little lamb in his playpen.

I tried to get some work done but my body was too tired and my mind too restless. Finally, I decided to call and make an appointment with Carlisle. I had been eating healthy and exercising, so there was no reason I should have been feeling so run-down.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

"Pregnant? I can't be pregnant!" I screamed, eyeing Carlisle warily.

He put his hand on my shoulder. "The blood work we did confirmed it. You were due in to get your shot six weeks ago but you kept missing appointments."

"That's because I didn't think I needed it. I can't be pregnant again. Dante is still a baby. Edward and I… Oh my god!" I began sobbing uncontrollably.

"There, there," Esme cooed, wrapping her arms around me. "It will be alright in the end. Don't cry, sweetheart."

I sniffled and wiped my nose with the handkerchief Carlisle gave me. "We're in the middle of a divorce, though. Edward just started getting better. He's not ready to handle more kids, and I'm not so sure I am either."

"There are other options." I knew what he meant, but I could never abort a baby or give it away.

"No. I just… I'm just in shock right now. We weren't careful, so now we are reaping the consequences. I don't even know how I'm going to tell him. Will it be as awful as the last time?"

Esme shushed me. "Edward is a work in progress, but he's doing much better. We can be there when you tell him if you want."

"That's okay. I need to do this alone. Can you, uh, not say anything until I tell him?" They both agreed to keep quiet.

The next few weeks passed by in a blur. Dante began walking, which made it a million times harder to keep up with his little tush. Jasper and I were still not talking-I hated the distance. My brother had always been my rock, and I really needed him. I was also worried that Jas would gloat when he found out his prediction had come true.

I avoided Edward at all costs. He invited me to Senate dinners and lunches, but I always had an excuse. The voters liked Edward and didn't really question why I didn't attend. While he'd been in his rehab center, his team had told the media he was recovering from an emergency appendectomy. The lie had earned him a lot of sympathy. I'd donated all the wreaths and gift baskets they sent us to charity.

Rose and Emmett were still trying to get pregnant, and I'd done it on accident. Emmett was so good to her and she'd been working extra hard on an upcoming car show. They were the ones in love and happy. They deserved a baby more than me and Edward. Life was never fair.

"Colin and Brady are driving me nuts," Rose said, sitting down on the damask sofa. I poured her a glass of sparkling water.

"They're so excited about school. They told me all about their class last time."

She smiled. "Yeah, but they're both so keyed up by the time they get home. Emmett is not a good disciplinarian, and I hate being the bad guy. Edward was nice enough to take them off our hands for a few hours last week."

I hummed and played with the hem of my dress. "That's nice."

Rose looked up at me. "He's been really great lately. Emmett is glad to have his brother back."

"Can we not talk about him? I'm here to pick out new tires, remember? Oh, and you were going to tell me about the cars you're restoring."

Later that night, I was in bed watching Edward and that bitch Gina on the news. The sight of them made me feel sick and I barely made it to the bathroom before tossing my cookies. When I got back, Dante held out his arms and called for _ma ma_. At least one person still loved me.

Suddenly, my phone vibrated—the screen showed Edward's picture. I groaned and turned it off. While he called me, he probably had his dick shoved in Gina or someone else's ass. I didn't want to hear more of his lies. Edward would never change, and it was time that I moved on and accepted our fate. We just weren't meant to be together.

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_The next chapter will be up soon. There will be more Dante cuteness. Please review :)_


	16. Chapter 15: Hearts a Mess

**_A/N:_**_Thanks for all the awesome reviews last time :D I couldn't answer them all, but I thought you guys might like quicker update instead. Warning, this chapter has some cute baby and daddy bonding time. Donward wants you to know that he's still a badass mobster but he has a heart. Songs, pictures, and information are on my **BLOG **(**t**he link is on my FFN Profile page). This chapter finishes the Prologue so we're getting to the good stuff. _**  
**

_Hugs to my lovely twitter darlings who keep me sane and happy.  
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**Pick apart  
The pieces of your heart  
And let me peer inside  
Let me in  
Where only your thoughts have been  
Let me occupy your mind  
As you do mine  
Your heart's a mess  
You won't admit to it  
It makes no sense  
But I'm desperate to connect  
You can't live like this**

Hearts a Mess – Gotye

_**EPOV**_

I took a deep breath and rang the bell. Mom had informed me she was taking care of both Sasha and Dante for a few hours so they could play together. I had also been told Bella hadn't been feeling well and that she was taking some time off from work.

"Sir?" William asked quizzically as he opened the door.

"I'm here to see Bella. I brought soup." I thought it was fucking stupid I had to wait to be invited into my own goddamn house. Then I remembered how Bella owned it now, and she understandably hated my fucking guts.

"Come in, Sir."

He led me into the kitchen, which was as spotless as usual. Hilda was putting away dishes while humming a song. Upon seeing us, she became so startled she almost dropped a mug. I apologized profusely and explained why I'd driven over to the house.

After that, Hilda pulled a bowl out of the cupboard and sat it in front of me. "She's sleeping," she said, "but she does need to eat. I was going to knock on the door and see if she wanted lunch. She's been having tummy problems."

."Why didn't anybody fucking tell me? I'm still her husband."

William cleared his throat. "Miss Bella has asked us to be discreet. If she wanted you to know about her ailments, she would have told you, Sir." The British had a natural politeness about them—they could call you a cunt to your face and make it sound like a fucking compliment.

"Well, I still should know these things," I muttered petulantly while pouring a glass of juice.

"I think it would be best if I served Miss Bella. She might not appreciate you being in the room."

I frowned at Hilda. "She's my wife. I will take the tray to her. You are both dismissed."

I left them to get their shit together and stalked to the master bedroom. I knocked but she didn't answer, so I just went inside. Bella was curled up in a little ball under a light comforter leaving one of her shapely legs exposed. I groaned inwardly as I adjusted my stubborn dick-he should have known by now that we weren't getting any paradise pussy for a long goddamn time.

I set the tray on table next to the couch and walked to the bed. I almost hated to wake her up because she looked so fucking peaceful. However, I remembered Hilda said that she hadn't eaten all day and it was almost one in the afternoon.

"Babydoll," I whispered, touching her cheek gently. "Wake up."

She moaned and kicked the blanket off. She was only wearing a pair of tiny baby blue boy shorts and a matching camisole. I felt like I was on fire. My dick throbbed painfully in my slacks as I began to perspire profusely.

"Bella," I croaked, desperate to get her attention before I embarrassed myself.

She opened her beautiful eyes and smiled at me. "Edward. My Edward. I need you."

I closed my eyes and turned around. "You don't know how much I want to crawl into bed with you and worship your body with my tongue until your pussy is swollen and pink, just the way I like it."

I heard a gasp behind me, and then the sound of the bathroom door closing. She came out a few minutes later in a pair of baggy pants and a Nike hoodie. My body was still very aroused, so I tried not to stare too much. She was already skittish around me and giving in to what my body wanted was not going to help our relationship in the long run.

"Why do you keep showing up unannounced? All you have to do is call," she said, her voice still raspy from sleep—it was fucking sexy.

I pointed to the steaming hot bowl. "I brought soup. Mom said you haven't been feeling well. I asked Carlisle, but he said it was confidential. What's wrong?"

She sat down at the table. "It's…it's nothing. My body is just reacting to the stress of the last few months. I'll be okay soon."

"Liar."

"I'd like you to leave now, Edward. I just can't deal with you today."

"Then when? I keep trying to talk to you, and you treat me like a fucking leper. We have things we need to work out. I'm not asking you for much."

She sniffled and pulled out a Kleenex. "I saw you on the news with Gina the other night. I guess…it's serious. Just know that I still won't allow that bitch around Dante."

"Fucking hell! I'm not doing anything with Gina. She works for me and that's it!" I yelled angrily.

Bella flinched. "You expect me to believe that? You cheated with her, and she's still on your payroll. It's like a constant slap in the face to know you let that skank have something which should have only been mine! I hate seeing her ugly face when I turn on the television. Admit it, you have no respect for me at all."

I got down on my knees in front of her. "Firing Gina would be easy. I'm out to ruin her fucking life. Plus she serves as a means to an end. I'm not the only goddamn idiot she fucked with, and there is one in particular I need for something. It's Mafia business, nothing personal. Trust me."

"Wow. You're just always full of shit. Let's talk about trust, Edward. Do you trust me alone with Giles? What if I was riding his cock while we worked on the book tour? How would you feel if I got down on my knees and sucked him off? Would you still trust us to work together if you found out we had been fucking? Go to hell," she snarled, baring her little teeth.

I stood up and walked across the carpet. "Are you thinking about fucking Giles?"

"It's none of your business if I am, because we are separated and getting a divorce."

"You think I'd let you be with another motherfucker! I can't stand the thought of him anywhere near what's mine. Do you want to get that asshole murdered?" I was beyond caring if anyone heard us.

She glared at me. "You don't own me! If you ever threaten Giles again, I will go to Marcus. He has always been strictly professional, and he's my friend. You have some nerve coming in here and laying down Edward's law. I no longer live in your world. You can go fuck yourself, or better yet go fuck the cheap bitches you love so much."

I pulled on my hair so hard a small clump came out. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! This is not what I intended when I came over. I'm tired of fighting with you all the goddamn time. If you want to hit me, take a swing. You want to go down to the office and kick Gina's ass? I'll lend you some brass knuckles. Just tell me what the fuck I'm supposed to do to get you to open up."

We were interrupted by a knock at the door. "Everything okay in here?" Felix asked, looking pointedly at me.

I held up my hands. "Hey, she's fine."

Felix continued to glare. "I think it would be best if you leave her alone."

Realizing defeat, I sighed. "I was just leaving."

Bella mumbled, "Fuck you," as I passed.

My spirit was very weak, but I leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "I love you, babydoll. We'll talk more another time."

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

The day didn't get any better after I left Bella's house. On a whim, I stopped by HADES to get some figures from Jasper and talk. When I got to his office, I saw him sitting at a desk while a small brunette woman massaged his shoulders. They looked too fucking cozy to just be acquaintances.

"Hello, Jasper. Are you going to introduce me to your friend?"

His eyes narrowed. "This," he said, looking at the woman, "is Maria Perez. She's an old friend of mine from Texas."

Upon closer inspection, the brunette appeared to be of Hispanic decent. She held out her small hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Cullen. I've seen the painting of you upstairs, but it didn't do you justice."

In my life, I had met a lot of bitches. Most of them flirted or ignored me completely. Maria's eyes were curious but underneath was a savageness I'd rarely seen in a female. She was sizing me up like a man would have done when meeting a potential enemy. I was instantly on alert.

"Thank you," I said, gently returning the handshake.

Jasper opened his drawer and took out a large binder. We kept most of our stuff on electronic files, but I still preferred paper for the club figures. There was a long history of Dons getting too lazy to take care of their business and later finding out that they had been robbed blind.

"Is Alice here?" I asked, watching Jasper turn red.

"I haven't seen her in a few days. You have her phone number."

I was fucking pissed. "So you can sit here with your _friend_, but you can't go see my baby sister? She's your wife!"

He asked Maria to leave, but the bitch didn't move an inch. "I've always had your back, Jasper," she said smugly.

"Then where the hell were you when he married _my_ sister?"

Jasper got in my face then, and it took every bit of my willpower not to kick his ass. "Well, if we're talking about sisters, how is mine doing? You know, the one you married, had a kid with, and cheated on? You have no right to lecture me."

I held up my hand to show him the Volturi signet ring. "You took the _Omertà_**, **and that means I am your superior. I own your ass! It's only out of respect for us being family that I don't fucking break your knee caps. Get that bitch out of my club and go call Alice before you end up a lonely, pathetic motherfucker like me."

"You don't speak to him like that!" the little spitfire shouted, before coming at me with a fucking switchblade. I had to give her credit for having balls.

Jasper cursed and grabbed her around the waist. "Are you crazy, Maria? This man can easily have you tortured and killed."

_Hijo de la chingada_," she hissed at me, still struggling to break free of Jasper.

I looked at down at my Rolex. "Jasper, you have exactly ten minutes to get this bitch out of my club. If I hear that she has been on the premises again, I will personally deal with her. Demetri will be down to make sure you comply. Oh, and don't forget to call Alice. Have a nice fucking day."

After picking up the binder, I drove back to the Penthouse. As if fighting with Bella didn't leave me pissed enough, I'd had to deal with Jasper's shit. Most Mafioso had mistresses, but I'd always wanted a good marriage for my sister.

_You couldn't even be good to your own wife, fuckward_, I thought bitterly.

When I got inside, I put on a pair of athletic shorts and went to into the new and improved gym. Emmett and I had been having fun picking out new shit like boxing equipment. Dr. Crowley believed physical activity was an important part of therapy for bipolar people, so I was getting my ass in shape.

Soon, I was covered in sweat and panting. I'd been punching the speed bag for almost an hour as Tool blared from the speakers. My arms were sore, but it felt good to be in control of my body. I no longer had the need to harm myself or have others beat my ass.

The last song had just come to an end when my new guard walked into the room. "Sir," he said, asking permission to come forward. "Your wife and son are here. They just arrived."

I couldn't keep the fucking smile off my face. "Tell them I'll be there in a minute."

I ran to my bedroom, took a quick shower, and changed into a casual outfit. My hair had grown and I didn't trust anyone but Bella to cut it, so it was pretty damn wild. After brushing it into some semblance of order and spraying on the cologne I knew she liked, I walked to the living room.

Bella had DC in her lap and was talking softly to him. I took a moment to stare at their beauty. It was ashamed I hadn't really known what a treasure I'd had until I'd lost it. They were more precious than anything I owned or could ever own, and I'd treated them both like fucking garbage.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" I asked, walking into the room.

D.C. watched me curiously as I approached. Smiling, I sat down on the couch next to them, close enough to be in the conversation but far enough that I wasn't smothering anyone. I just wanted to bask in their company for as long as they would let me.

Bella looked up at me, her eyes asking forgiveness. "I'm sorry about earlier. I was just…"

I shook my head. "No, it was me. I shouldn't have pressed."

DC snuggled closer to Bella. "Ma ma." The sound of his voice almost brought me to tears.

"I wish he would say da da," I sighed.

My babydoll shared an Eskimo kiss with our son before answering. "He will if you spend time with him. You haven't really been a constant in his life. I'm hoping that will change now that you're healing."

I nodded enthusiastically. "I promise I'm not going anywhere."

"You hear that, Dante? Daddy is going to spend more time with you. How would you like that?"

My son began screaming and flailing. I reached for him but he clung to Bella. She apologized and calmed him down. It wasn't a surprise because he didn't fucking know me. The time we'd spent together in supervised visits was too short to form a real bond.

I leaned over and kissed the back of his soft head. "It's okay. I haven't been the best father to you, but things are going to change. I love you, Dante."

He turned his teary face toward me and spoke some gibberish. It seemed like he was yelling at me for being a shithead. His little cheeks turned red from the effort, reminding me even more of his mother. I rubbed his tiny hand and spoke gently until he became quiet.

"Hey, why don't I order us some dinner? Suggestions?"

My babydoll blushed shyly. "Okay. How about Chinese? I've been craving walnut prawns all day. Dante likes wonton soup."

I took out my phone and placed the order. Bella giggled when she heard me speaking Mandarin. I knew the language well, but it still sounded funny if you weren't a native speaker. One day, I hoped to teach DC all the languages I'd learned over the years.

"It'll be here in thirty minutes or less."

Bella nodded and laid our son between us. He drank apple juice from a bottle and kicked his feet. I told her she was doing a great job with him. She said it was her duty as a mother and loving him so much made it easy.

The food arrived earlier than expected. I brought some plates, bowls, and utensils and put them on the coffee table. Bella was attempting to feed DC and eat, so I took him off her hands. He pushed the spoon away a few times before finally opening his little mouth.

"I'm glad you got sweet and sour chicken. I didn't even know how much I was craving it until now." My angel looked so fucking cute with her chopsticks.

I took a huge bite of eggroll and chewed slowly while studying her. "I'm glad you got your appetite back. I'm sorry for being the cause of you losing it in the first place."

She shrugged "I should take better care of myself. I have babies to look after and…"

"Babies?" The last time I checked DC was only one person."

She made a noise and swallowed thickly. "Um, sorry I misspoke." Something in her eyes wasn't right, but I let it go for the sake of peace.

A little after nine, Jane came to pick up my family. Bella wanted to go back to work the next day, and our son needed to get some sleep. I begged her to stay, but she told me it wasn't wise. I knew she was worried we'd make love if she spent the night, and honestly, she may have been right.

"Goodnight," I whispered softly, kissing them both on the cheek in the parking garage.

"We should do this again sometimes. Goodnight, Edward."

My heart plummeted as I watched them drive away. I felt darkness seeping into my soul, so I downed a Lithium pill and took out a book to read. I'd noticed Giles had given Bella a Tennyson book, so I was reacquainting myself with his writing. Soon, I drifted to sleep.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

Gina walked slowly into my office and sat down in the chair across from me. Not only did I make her wear the ugliest fucking black uniform, but I also cut her down to only twenty hours a week. She still had an expensive coke habit; and though she tried desperately to hide it, I could see the chemicals in her eyes.

"You're fucking high. I can't have that shit around me. It's disrespectful."

Her hands shook as she reached for something in her purse. "H-here. My dealer is empty, and Demetri has gone clean. I need a fix."

I looked at the money and scoffed. "You must be the dumbest bitch in the world. I admit my guilt in what happened, but your stupid ass went after my wife. You got off on taunting her. The only reason I let you work here is because of our deal. Ask me for shit again, and I'll have one of the girls from the club fuck you up."

"Sorry."

"You should be. Give me your fucking report so you can get out of my sight."

She sighed and put the bills back in her wallet. "He told me about the confession, but I need a little more time to find out where he hid the tape."

Judge Wagner was a married Federal judge I'd introduced to Gina at a fundraiser party a few weeks ago. True to form, they'd quickly started fucking. Wagner was a conservative asshole that preached morals but lived a Hedonist lifestyle. He was also completely corrupt.

Caius had gotten a tip that Wagner worked for one of the old families from Sicily. The youngest son had come to America to learn the family business; and unbeknownst to his father, he'd smuggled in five young women who were to be sold as sex slaves. One of them died from a beating, and the son was brought up on charges. The father wired Wagner a huge sum of money to make sure the trial ended in their favor.

The reason we were interested was because the Sicilian family had been making waves. They wanted things to go back to the old way when only full blooded Italians ruled. A half Greek, half Italian mutt being a Don in a powerful Family didn't set well with their factions. Wagner was the key in us bringing their Family down once and for all before they became a bigger threat.

"Try harder. I want this shit done before Marcus comes back from Naples. You're dismissed."

She stood up and walked to the door. "I wasn't always a bad person. I just love power and…"

"I don't have any pity to give you. We both made our choices in life, and we both must suffer the consequences. Just know my Bella is better in every way than you. All you'll ever be is an easy fuck. In fact, you disgust me." I must have been really fucked in the head to ever have wanted to touch the bitch.

After she exited, I got yet another unexpected visitor. "Hey, you busy?" Jasper asked, walking into the office.

I gestured for him to take a seat. "What's up?" I asked, crossing my arms defensively.

"I put Maria on a plane to Miami."

"Good."

"She just came to see if she could still control me. I was able to resist this time."

"Did you…?" I let the question hang in the air because I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer.

He sat forward and looked me straight in the eye. "No! I couldn't do that to Alice. Maria tried to kiss me, and that snapped me out of the funk I've been in lately. Alice is everything to me, and I've been so blind. I wasn't even willing to talk over the wanting to have children issue before dismissing her thoughts and feelings."

"I'm proud of you, Jasper. I only wish I had of been man enough to overcome my demons. Work hard and my sister will forgive you. She's missed your country ass."

He laughed. "I don't think I have an accent, but Bella and Charlie used to make fun of my drawl, too."

"I'm sorry for hurting Bella again. I know you've had to pick up the pieces, and I appreciate it." In the past, it had been hard for me to apologize to people, but lately I was becoming a motherfucking professional.

"You hurt her badly. I haven't seen my baby sis that low since Charlie's death. I'm not going to say I hope you get back together, because I'm not sure this is something Bella could or should forgive. She's lost so many people in her life and been through so much."

I sighed. "I know, man. Believe me, I can never do enough to make it up to her. I'm trying really hard to prove I can be a good father, though, and her friend."

"That's all you can do."

Later, we joined Emmett and Carlisle for lunch. They all agreed the best way for me to get Bella to open up a little was through action. Telling her I'd changed wasn't going to do the trick; I had to show her my progress.

"I'm not going to sugarcoat it, I'm mad at all of you for making my daughters cry," Carlisle chastised as he cut into a steak.

"Hey, what did I do?" Emmett asked, his voice almost childlike.

"Rosie thinks you're upset because she's having a hard time getting pregnant. She says you shut her out."

"That's not true! I'm…I'm just frustrated with myself because I can't give her something she really wants," Emmett admitted sadly.

Carlisle's wise eyes softened. "Tell her that. None of us will ever come close to understanding women, but I do know communicating helps a great deal."

"But how can you communicate if they won't let you?" I asked out of the blue.

Dad put his fork down. "Sometimes, you have to start with small topics and work up to bigger things. Most women really just want to know they can trust you with their thoughts and feelings."

"What about me? How can I get Alice back?"

Carlisle eyes flared as he sized up Jasper. "You'll have to get down on your hands and knees. Last week she sat in the study with me and cried her eyes out over you. Go all out, because she deserves nothing but the best."

"As for you," Dad said, looking at me, "Bella is very, very fragile. I don't think you know the damage you've done to my girl. She lost weight and some of her hair fell out. Esme and I are worried she'll never fully recover."

I pushed my plate away, because I no longer had an appetite. "I am truly sorry and ashamed for what I've done to Bella. I want to put light in her eyes to replace all the darkness. I want to give her what she needs to thrive. Most of all, I want her to know my love for her will never die."

He nodded. "Good. That's a start. It takes hard work to sustain a marriage, and sometimes it just doesn't work. You two have a son together, so it's imperative that you at least form a friendship. I think Bella is willing, but she needs time."

"How did you get to be so smart?" Emmet asked teasingly.

Dad smiled. "I was blessed enough to have two great loves in life. Women are difficult, but I think we'd all agree they're worth the effort."

We toasted one another. My babydoll was _definitely_ worth the effort and so much more.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

Over the last few days, I'd begged Bella to let me keep DC for a weekend. It bothered me that my son wasn't comfortable in my presence. Dr. Uley and Dr. Crowley had both agreed I was ready to take on more responsibility, so I'd decided to step up my game.

"Are you sure you can do this?" Bella asked for the millionth time while stirring applesauce.

"Yes. Go have a fun at the spa with the ladies. Emmett helped me baby proof everything, and Carlisle will be on speed dial in case of emergency. I can take care of our son, too."

She frowned. "But, he can be difficult sometimes. He climbs and gets into all kinds of things. You have to keep a close eye on him. My little lamb gets cranky around bedtime. You have to read a story…"

I wrapped my arms around her waist. It was too intimate, but she didn't pull away. "He will be fine," I whispered, letting my lips touch the shell of her ear. "I am not a complete idiot. Plus, you've been kind enough to make several lists."

Her beautiful giggle and soft ass made my cock throb, so I stepped away before we started fucking on the counter top. Carlisle was right about taking things slow. Bella needed to know I was in this for more than just sex and the good times.

My babydoll turned around slowly. "I'm trusting you with my most special possession. Please, please, don't make me regret it. Call me if there are any problems, and I'll come straight home."

Half an hour later, Bella left and DC had a meltdown. He wouldn't sit still or let me comfort him. I hated to see him cry and scream for his mother, but he had to learn he could depend on me, too.

"Let's go get something to eat," I mumbled, picking his squirming body up out of the play pen.

I put him in the high chair and gave him a bottle of juice while I warmed some spaghetti. Mom and Bella wanted DC to have good shit, so they made his baby food or brought organic. I had to smile when I took out the little Spongebob bowl and matching spoon Alice had helped me pick out for my son.

"Ma ma?" Dante asked yet again as I set his food in front of him.

"Da da. Mommy will be back soon, but until then I'm here."

He pushed the bowl onto the floor and began wailing. I really wanted to call Bella, but I knew if I failed this test I might never get another chance. I'd hunted down gruesome motherfuckers and faced death, so how hard could it be to take care of an eleven-month-old baby?

Two hours later, I had my answer. He never stopped crying, climbing, and running. I felt worse than I had after a rigorous workout, and there were no signs he would be falling asleep anytime soon. To make matters worse, he refused to fucking eat.

"Please, son," I begged, trying to pry his little lips open.

"No." He had learned that word almost right after ma ma.

I sighed heavily and let a tear slip from my eye. "I know I messed up, and you probably hate my fucking guts. Please, just let me make it up to you."

He smacked my nose with his fat little hand and said, "Ma ma."

Admitting defeat, I pulled out my Iphone and dialed Bella. She answered on the first ring. I told her about the problems I was having, and she gave me some tips which would help. I was really thankful she didn't drive home and beat my sorry ass for being such a loser.

"You're doing great, Edward. I'm happy you care about our baby."

After our phone call ended, I decided to try Bella's first method. "Hey, DC, do you want to take a bath with daddy?"

He bounced excitedly and clapped his hands. When I saw that, I felt like the man who had just won the fucking Mega Millions. I wanted to do a victory lap and shout hallelujah, but I managed to restrain myself—my son didn't like to be kept waiting.

A little later, Bella called to check up on us. She gave me instructions of how to put his inflatable yellow duck baby bath into the Jacuzzi with me, so I wouldn't drop him. My little man was slippery as fuck and definitely had a problem staying still.

I put him down and stripped out of my own clothes. He instantly began playing with his bath toys and splashing water all over the damn place. My babydoll had brought a large bag of shit over with her, so I dug into it until I found the Mustela baby body stuff she used on him.

"Your mommy spoils you, doesn't she?"

He batted those long lashes at me and grinned. I gently lifted him out of the ducky and held his little body to my chest. He laid his head on my shoulder for a minute. It was such a peaceful moment, feeling his tiny heart beat next to mine.

"I love you, Dante Cullen," I whispered while watching his inquisitive green eyes. He really did look just like me as a baby.

Soon, his little hand roamed to the Bella tattoo over my heart. "Ma ma," he said, looking up at me.

I laughed heartily. "You're going to be a fucking genius! Please don't tell your mother I said a bad word, okay?"

After the bath, I put him on a fresh diaper and rubbed lotion all over his skin. He liked to grab at my fingers. I took note of the fact he was sturdier—there was muscle under the baby fat. He'd also been learning colors and shapes.

"Shit," I muttered as I pulled out the pajama bag. There were some truly hideous outfits inside.

"Do you wear this?" I asked holding up a bright purple gown with a matching cap.

DC's little middle finger popped up and he said something in baby gibberish that I took to mean, "Hell no."

He had a way of making me smile. "I promise not to tell mommy about you flipping the bird if you don't do it too often. Trust me, she can be scary when provoked."

The clothes got worse and worse as we went along. Apparently, Bella liked buying DC the corniest baby gear she could find at the store. I cringed when I saw a onesie with a huge sunflower around the neckline. She also had a thing for dressing him up in various sailor sets. Eventually, I found a blue Winnie the Pooh tee my son seemed to like and decided to let him wear it to bed.

"No wonder you were mad at me. Don't worry, I'm going to get you some cool shit tomorrow. Mommy is good at a lot of things, but we men have to develop our own style," I told him.

Pretty soon, he began crying again. I checked his diaper and since it was clean; I knew that he was probably hungry. I warmed him up some creamed chicken and rice, which he almost inhaled. Then he was ready for his precious bottle of Bella's breast milk.

I cradled him in my arms and watched ESPN sports highlights while he began to doze. It was almost one in the morning, but I'd survived my first night alone with my _bambino_. Before going to bed, I sent my babydoll a quick text to let her know all was well on the home front.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

"I like his sunglasses," Jane said, peeking in at DC who was in the backseat of the Phantom fast asleep.

"He picked them out himself. Hey, if you can just carry him, I'll bring in all the bags."

We'd had a fun day shopping at the mall and walking the pier. Jasper and Emmett along with Colin and Brady had joined us for dinner at a family restaurant. It had been a little jarring for me to be around all those screaming children and exhausted parents. DC had a blast in some bouncy thing, though, and his cousins encouraged his fun.

When I got upstairs, I took off DC's clothes and put him in his baby bed. Jane went back to the Phantom to get the rest of the shit. I'd done some major damage on my portion of the account, but I'd liked spending money on my son.

"I can't believe you sent Felix to the spa to watch Bella instead of me. What is he going to do all weekend? I'm still a girl you know." One reason I liked Jane was because she had a great sense of humor.

"It's a little revenge on my part. But hey, the fucker can get something nice for Chelsea while he's there."

"You're a cruel man, Edward Cullen," she said dryly, just barely dodging the pillow I threw at her head.

D.C. and I had a quiet night. He only woke up once asking for Bella, and when I put the mp3 of her singing "You Are My Sunshine", he went right back to sleep. My angel had a beautiful voice, and I continued to play the song late into the night.

"_Please don't take my sunshine away_."

Sunday afternoon, Bella returned. The way she fell to her knees when DC ran to her, you would have thought they had been separated for years. She picked him up and kissed all over his face while he squealed delightfully.

"He looks so happy," she said, finally noticing me.

I bent down and gave her a hug. "I missed you."

When I pulled away, I noticed something strange in her eyes which worried me. She confirmed it with the dreaded, "We need to talk."

After getting DC settled, we sat down next to each other on the sofa. Bella's hands were trembling, and she looked like she was on the verge of tears. I took a deep breath. It was times like these the fucking monster wanted to lash out, but I could control him.

"I thought about a lot of things while I was away. We…we won't ever fit the way we were before. It's pointless to keep this charade of a marriage. You lied to me and betrayed my trust. I am so proud of you for stepping up and working on yourself, but I have to put some distance between us. Nothing has to change with you and Dante, though."

I hadn't felt this much pain since the day they had told me she and my son were dead. "What are you saying, babydoll?"

She sighed. "I want the divorce sooner rather than later. My life is about to change…"

"Is this about that motherfucker Giles! Are you asking me to speed up the divorce so you can date him?"

"Keep your voice down," she chided, looking over at DC to make sure that he hadn't heard me.

"I'm not ready to date anyone. I mean, it would be impossible… I just don't see the point in dragging this out. I would like to go back to my maiden name."

The fucking hits just kept coming. "Fine," I mumbled, keeping my eyes down so she wouldn't see the tears. "If that's what you want."

The next few days were rough. I fucking chewed out everyone at work and had several intense therapy sessions. Dr. Crowley said that for once, I had to put Bella's feelings before my own. Dr. Uley gave me some bullshit about how if I loved her, I would let her go; and if it was meant to be, she would return.

**_~~LAMTAF~_~**

Thursday afternoon, Bella invited me over to the house. I was barely inside before I got bombarded by several pounds of wet baby. I picked him up and kissed his red cheeks. He was dressed in one of the sets I'd brought him during our weekend together.

"You're a very handsome baby."

He laughed at the compliment.

My whole body went up in flames when I saw Bella. She was wearing a champagne-colored dress which hugged her curves very nicely. I vaguely noticed Hilda pour me a glass of Merlot. I was allowed a little wine but nothing too strong due to my meds.

While I eye-fucked Bella, my sister took Dante to be changed. I had so little control, and my wife looked like carnal sin. I would have sworn she bought clothes just to make my cock hard; but she could have worn a fucking paper sack and I'd have still found her sexy as hell.

"Bella…"

"There's nothing left to say…" she stated coldly, her voice like liquid steel.

"I have a lot to say! This shit has gone on long enough!" I stood up and threw the divorce papers on the coffee table. I figured that if she saw them and what they really meant, she'd be willing to postpone it until I could prove I was a better man.

I waited patiently while she opened the envelope. Soon, her big brown eyes began to fill with tears. I was just fucking desperate and barely holding onto my sanity. To an outsider I must have looked like a feral beast as I paced the floor and pulled out more of my hair.

After several minutes, I broke the silence. "So what do you have to say about that, Bella? Do you…?"

"I'm pregnant with twins... I think they might be girls!"

The world fucking stopped moving. I was just about to ask my babydoll to repeat the sentence when she fainted in the chair. I yelled for Hilda to call Carlisle. He was in fucking emergency surgery, so Esme volunteered to come instead. Fortunately, mom had been given some medic and nurse training over the years.

While we waited, William brought a first aid kit with smelling salts. I put it under Bella's nose and sighed with relief when her eyes fluttered open. Her throat was dry, so I gave her a bottle of sparkling water to drink.

A few minutes later, Alice and Dante returned. My son was agitated and began crying until Bella was able to hold him. He put his thumb in his mouth and relaxed against her breast. I pulled them both as close as possible and spoke soothing words.

"I'll be in the living room if you need me," Alice said, excusing herself. William and Hilda soon followed.

"Say it again," I begged.

"I'm pregnant. Carlisle did a blood test. Before you accuse me…"

I put my index finger over her plump lips. "I know they're mine, Bella. I don't know how to explain this, but the night after we had sex I dreamed of planting seeds and flowers blooming."

She began sobbing. "Look at us, we're a mess. How are we going to take care of two, possibly three, small children in the middle of a divorce? I'm just not sure I'm strong enough, Edward."

I took out a handkerchief and dabbed at her face. "Shhh, don't cry, sweetheart. I love you. I know you might not believe it right now, but it's true. I don't want to get a divorce. It's just…after our talk I thought it was what would make you happy."

"So what do we do? I still don't trust you. I'm just scared you'll abandon us again," she confessed pathetically.

"Words won't be enough, so I'll have to show you that I've fucking changed. I promise to be here with you every step of the way through this pregnancy. Please, give me the next few months. I can even move back in to help."

She shook her head. "I don't think that's such a good idea, Edward. How about…you spend the night a few days a week and we stay at yours sometimes? There are rules—like we wouldn't sleep in the same bed. This has to be about the babies, not us."

It was a scrap, but fucking beggars had to take what was offered. "Deal. I know you're worried. It may not be the best timing, but I'm so fucking happy. We make good-looking kids. I know our little babydolls will be beautiful."

Bella smiled, laying her head on my shoulder. "They're going to be a handful like their big brother. Just imagine when they're old enough to date and talk back."

I grimaced. "Hell no. I'll put the fear of God in any little fucker that comes sniffing around my girls."

"Well, that's a long time off. Right now, they're still safely inside of me."

Our son cooed softly, drawing our attention back to him. We both rubbed his back lovingly. We may not have had our shit straight, but I knew we both had a lot of love to give. Our children would always know they were cherished.

I bent down and placed a kiss on Bella's stomach. "Hello, angels. It's your father. Welcome to the crazy Cullen-Swan family. We can't wait to meet you."

The moment was only made more special when Dante touched the top of my head and said, "Da."

* * *

_I just saw The Avengers and I'm still in my Team Loki coma. Sweet Dante cuddles to everyone that reviews. _

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	17. Chapter 16: Ex Factor

**_A/N:_**_Please visit my **Blog** (Link on my Profile page or Google LAMTAF) to read information about bipolar disorder and other things about this story. Please do not read LAMTAF if you are easily offended by the content or underage. Also please remember that fanfiction authors write for free, and if you don't like a story it's your right to stop reading. Constructive criticism is fine but harassment crosses the line. _**  
**

_I recently had a fic pulled from FFN. If that happens again, I will be leaving this website and only posting on my blog and TWCS. As some of you may know, there were many M rated Twifics taken down last week. It sucks and they don't send us a warning before taking them down.  
_

**Rec **(In my Favorites): _When the Dust Settles_ by **She is Divine** - Great Armyward fic about love and family. Go read and review._  
_

* * *

**It could all be so simple  
But you'd rather make it hard  
Loving you is like a battle  
And we both end up with scars  
Tell me, who I have to be  
To get some reciprocity  
No one loves you more than me  
And no one ever will  
Is this just a silly game  
That forces you to act this way  
Forces you to scream my name  
Then pretend that you can't stay  
Tell me, who I have to be  
To get some reciprocity  
No one loves you more than me  
And no one ever will**

Ex Factor-Lauryn Hill

_**BPOV**_

After spending almost four hours trying on dresses in Alice's boutique, I wanted to scream. Giles and his publishing house were throwing me a small party to celebrate the beginning of my first ever book tour. I was very excited but also a little scared of going out on the road. When I'd signed up for it, I hadn't expected to be pregnant again or in the middle of a divorce.

"You are still working those mom boobs," Alice said, putting her little hands all over my cleavage. "How is they hold up so well when my nephew is always eating?"

I grumbled, pushing her away. "Can I just take the yellow one and go now? You told me this would only be an hour."

Bree giggled from her perch in the corner. "She crossed her fingers behind her back, so it did not count."

"Judas! You should have warned me."

Both Bree and Alice laughed at my expense. I collapsed on to a nearby light pink, floral settee and took out my bag of emergency snacks. Lately, I had been craving marshmallows, so I kept a bag of various snack foods with marshmallow as well as the regular kind.

Alice screeched and rushed over. "You're going to ruin the silk, Bella!"

I shrugged. "If I do mess it up, you can bill me. Calm down."

"You have to let her eat, Ali. She is providing nourishment for herself and two babies. My Biology book says…" Bree was always quoting her science and medical literature. It made me proud, because it showed just how far she'd come in the last few months.

"I know. I know," Alice said, interrupting. "I just get carried away."

Fortunately, she and Bree agreed that the yellow gown would be great, and then I was allowed to put back on my street clothes. By that time, I was more than a little cranky and ready for a nap. Di was in town for the week, so my little lamb was busy being spoiled by she and Esme.

"Are you done, babydoll?" I turned around to see Edward standing in the doorway looking incredibly handsome in one of his ubiquitous tailored Gucci suits. The slight stubble on his chin only added to the allure.

"Why do you care?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose, a sign meaning he was exasperated. "I care because I want to take you out to dinner tonight."

"It's too bad that we don't always get what we want. I'm sure you can find a suitable replacement. Besides, I'm not really hungry." I argued feebly. Of course my stomach chose that moment to growl. My future little girls were already Team Edward.

"Damn it, Bella, you need to eat! I'm not in the mood to play these fucking games with you. We're going to get in the motherfucking Phantom, and I'm going to feed you!"

Bree shook her head, looking at Edward. "You never learn, do you?"

"What is that supposed to…?"

I cut him off before he could ask. "She means you never learn that it's not good to boss me around or demand I do something. Take your dinner and shove it up your ass. I'm perfectly capable of feeding myself and my babies. Go do whatever it is you do these days and leave me in peace!"

"Please, can you two try to get along?" Alice begged. "I hate seeing you at each others throats all the time."

"Jane should be out front waiting for me. I'll talk to you guys later," I said, kissing Bree and Alice each on the cheek.

Edward snarled, the sound doing strange things to my girly parts. "I sent her home. Now, will you please let me take you out to dinner? I promise not to yell anymore or do other stupid shit."

"Go with him," Bree said encouragingly. "You might have good time."

"Okay," I agreed, pretending not to notice Edward's smug smile. He was going to wish he'd never asked me out.

"Wonderful!" Alice exclaimed. "I'll have the dress, lingerie, shoes, and accessories delivered to your house tomorrow evening before the party. We're going to have so much fun."

I rolled my eyes and let Edward walk me to the front. The boutique was packed with women and even a few men who were probably buying gifts for Mother's Day. Alice had decided to have a sale, and so far it was paying off big time. I'd never seen so many customers.

Edward casually shrugged off his jacket, leaving him in a crisp white button down. I was sad to see a few hussies stopped to ogle his ass—not that I could really blame them because he looked good. Still, it made me feel special when he wrapped his arm around my waist until I was tucked right under his strong arm.

"You okay?" he asked quietly, looking down at me.

I nodded. "Thanks. It wasn't this crowded earlier."

When we got to the Rolls, he insisted upon opening the door. I let him, even flashing a little leg as I sat down. Edward's sparkling green eyes danced with mirth as he eyed me up and down. Biting my lip, I watched as a tent formed in his pants—it both repulsed and intrigued me.

"Are you just going to stand there all day leering like a pervert, or are we going to do this dinner thing?" I asked tersely.

Edward mumbled something which sounded like, "Cold shower," and jogged to the driver's side.

"Where do you want to go?"

"An acquaintance of ours just opened up a new Moroccan place over in Ballard. Sound good?" he asked, a hopeful gleam in his eyes.

I snorted. "I bet this place has belly dancers, right? You're so predictable, Edward."

The car swerved a bit, startling me. "That's not why I want to go there! Fine, you pick a place."

"No. Let's do Moroccan. I'm kinda craving lamb and couscous now."

Sighing, Edward turned up his sound system. I crossed my arms and let my mind drift. It wasn't easy being trapped with my soon to be ex-husband in a car where we'd had sex in many times in the past. Just the smell of the leather seats mixed with his aftershave made me dripping wet.

Playing it cool, I crossed my legs. "I bet Gina loves this car."

"Do you think I let that bitch ride with me?"

"I don't know," I mumbled. "You let her _ride_ you, so why not inside of the car?"

He squeezed the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned ivory white. "I did not fuck that bitch! Yeah, we did other shit...shit that I'm ashamed of, but we didn't fuck."

I cringed away from him. "Why are you still lying? I know you fucked her and lots of others."

"I'm not lying!" he screamed. "Gina wasn't one of the, uh…"

"Wasn't one of the whores who let you shove your dick up her ass? Wow. I guess she's smarter than me." I knew I had gone too far when he pulled over into a nearby Best Buy parking lot.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm calling Jane to come and get you. I can't handle your acid tongue right now. My temper is on a very tight leash as it is at this point."

I turned towards him and stuck my chin out. "What does that mean? Do you want to hit me, Edward?"

Suddenly, he leaned forward and captured my lips. The kiss was rough, possessive, and all consuming. He never asked permission before plunging his tongue deep inside of my mouth and wiping all thought from my head. I wanted to punch him, but my hands began rubbing his crotch instead.

"I don't want to hit you, babydoll. I want to fuck you."

Frowning, I pulled away. "We both know that's not going to happen again. This kiss shouldn't…"

"I don't regret a damn thing," he snapped, backing away and putting the car in gear.

"And that's your problem right there. You do whatever the hell you want—the whole world be damned."

The rest of the drive was quiet, except for Tool blaring from Edward's speakers. He didn't even look at me, and honestly I was glad. We'd come too close to making a mistake. It was important for us to keep our libidos in check and not succumb to simple lust.

The car dash clock read a little past seven o'clock when we arrived. Before Edward could even stop, a group of eager young valets ran over to the Phantom. He handed the keys to a lanky kid with freckles all over his face.

"Fuck up my car, and I fuck you up," Edward threatened, lifting his pant leg so that the boy could see the gun he kept in his ankle holster.

The poor kid looked like he wanted to puke. "I'll take care of it, Sir."

"You better."

Edward tried to take my hand as we walked into the restaurant, but I shrugged him off. "Good job scaring that young boy. Why can't you ever be nice?"

"I plan to leave him a Benjamin for his trouble."

"Oh, so that makes it okay?"

Edward grabbed his wild hair, tugging it hard. "Fucking hell! I'm sick of arguing with you about every measly little thing. Let's just eat so I can take your crabby ass home."

I huffed and let him lead me to a table. The place was nice-all decorated in reds, blues, and gold. There were candles and flowers at every table. The area the waiter led us to was very private and away from the other diners. Edward helped me sit down on my floor cushion before taking his own seat.

A few seconds later, the waiter brought out appetizers and drinks. My mouth watered as I got a whiff of the food. "It smells amazing," I mumbled, trying to decide what to eat first.

"This," Edward said, pointing at the plate closest to me, "is chicken bastilla. Here, try it with the ginger dip."

I leaned forward and ate from his fingers. "Mmm, it's delicious!"

He went around the table explaining each dish, and sometimes even the history behind it. It was easy to forget Edward was so well traveled and educated because of the way he talked, but every now and again he reminded me.

Soon we were halfway through the main course. "This is the best apricot couscous I've had in my life. Angela and I used to go to this cheap place near the U, but it closed when we were seniors. I never really found a replacement."

He smiled at me warmly. "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. The owner isn't here tonight, but I can call the chef out if you want to meet him."

"Oh no," I said, shaking my head. "Let the man work. Um, maybe another time."

All the chilled mint tea I'd drank began to weigh on my bladder. Edward walked me to the bathroom and stood guard until I was done. Honestly it was completely unnecessary, but he'd been acting super protective every since he found out about the pregnancy.

When we returned, Edward insisted I try his beef kefta and slaw. Letting him feed me felt a little too intimate, so I quickly snatched the fork out of his hand. We were just one slip up away from more unprotected alley sex.

"We should take something home for Di. She probably already ate dinner, but she can warm it up for tomorrow's lunch."

Edward nodded. "Already covered. We'll have a bag waiting for us when we leave."

I looked up, noticing he had a crooked smile on his face. "One of the things I love about you is your generosity. Most bitches I went out with before didn't care about anyone else as long as they got theirs."

Suddenly my appetite vanished. "Can we get the check and go?"

"Why? The dancers are coming out. I thought we could eat dessert while they performed."

I sighed dramatically and checked my Iphone. "It's getting late," I mumbled, making excuses.

"It's not even nine, babydoll."

Unfortunately, the show started before I could stand up and leave. The women were all golden-skinned goddesses and had stomachs as flat as a washboard, which made me feel even worse since I was starting to get a little pudgy around the middle.

"Join me," one of the dances begged, trying to help me up.

"Oh, I shouldn't," I answered, feeling my face heat up.

"You definitely should," Edward said, his voice sounding very gruff.

The woman laughed. "Your husband wants you to do it. Come on, it can be very erotic. Later he'll be a tiger in bed."

I wanted to tell her that Edward would not be my husband for much longer, but people were watching. Sighing, I let her lead me to the front. Thankfully a few other diners joined the little show. Edward's eyes narrowed as he watched the woman put her hands on my hips.

"Pretend you are making love," the dancer whispered while helping me learn the rhythm.

I locked eyes with Edward and let myself be hypnotized by the incense and the music. My moves mimicked sex, like the kind Edward and I used to have where I'd ride him for hours. Soon, he leaned forward eagerly and watching me as if I'd disappear at any moment.

By the time the show ended, I was sweating a little. The audience clapped and the woman thanked me for participating. She obviously knew Edward, because I saw him nod discreetly at her before she exited the room. I was embarrassed to note my underwear was now wet, and my nipples felt like homing beacons.

"You were beautiful up there, Bella," Edward murmured, kissing the back of my neck. "Your belly dance will be the only thing in my head when I jack off later."

I jumped back, startled by his lewdness. "Well, enjoy it because you'll never have the real thing again."

My words put Edward in a horrible mood. He yelled at the valet, but did tip the kid as he'd promised. All the way home, he refused to look at me or make conversation. We ran so hot and cold all the time, and I knew some of it was my fault.

When we pulled up to the mansion, Edward ran over to open my door. I tried to take the restaurant bags from him, but he held them out of reach. It wasn't his night to stay over, so I was a little worried when he stomped inside the house.

Di was in the kitchen drinking a cup of tea and watching television. "Hey, _cari_! How was your night?"

"It was…fun." It wasn't the word that I was looking for, but I didn't want to piss off Edward any further. "We bought you dinner."

"That was so sweet of you. I've already eaten, but I'll heat it up tomorrow."

"Where's Esme? Did Dante give you any problems? Did Onyx eat?" I asked frantically.

Di smiled and ushered me to the nearest chair. "Carlisle got stuck on an overnight, so Esme went to take him a home cooked meal. Your little angel was perfect. He went to sleep without any problems. Onyx ate all of her food and is fast asleep at the foot of your bed."

Edward slammed a cabinet, alerting us to his presence. "Where is the damn Tupperware?

"What is wrong with you, _bambino_? You can ask nicely."

He apologized to Di before glaring at me. "Sorry. I'm sure you can put this away. I should head back to the fucking Penthouse."

Di walked over and gave him a kiss on both cheeks. "You always did have a temper. One time you refused to come inside of the house until I let you have a brownie. Esme had her hands full with you."

"Yeah, well…" Edward muttered.

I yawned so wide my jaw popped. "Goodnight. I guess I'll see you this weekend."

"You'll see me tomorrow, _tesoro_. I'm going to your book party. Alice already picked out my tux." Upon hearing this, I vowed to kill my sister-in-law.

"But…but Giles will be there!"

"So," he said, shrugging. "I don't give a fuck about that asshole."

I ground my teeth and counted to ten. "I don't want the night to end in fistfights and a trip to the emergency room, got it?"

"Yeah. I won't touch the motherfucker, but if he puts his hands on you all bets are off," he snarled, getting in my face.

Di tugged on his arm, gently coaxing him away from me. "Come on. I'll walk you out to your car."

"Sweet dreams, babydoll," he said, that cocky smirk on his face.

"Whatever."

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

Angela laughed as I accepted a champagne flute full of sparkling apple cider from a passing waiter. Back in college we had worked at events like this sometimes to earn extra spending money; so it was surreal that we were now actual guests.

"Bella that gown is beautiful. Alice certainly knows what looks best on everyone," Ang stated, glancing down at her own pink cocktail dress.

I giggled. "She drives me crazy, but the results are always worth the pain."

The party was a complete success. Giles had booked a room in a nearby Country Club for the event. Esme and her interior design company were responsible for the beautiful decorations, which were sophisticated but also warm and inviting. Overall, it was the best party I'd been to in a long time.

"Bella," Giles called out, smiling when his eyes met mine. "I've been looking all over for you."

"I'm not hard to find, Atwood. This yellow doesn't exactly blend in to the scenery."

He shook hands with Ben and Angela before leading me away to a more private corner. "Are you enjoying the celebration, love?"

I nodded my head, careful not to dislodge any of the flowers that were braided into my hair. "Yes! Thanks for everything. I can't believe I'm actually going on a book tour. I've wanted to be a writer since I was a little girl. Finally, some of my dreams are coming true."

"Good. I wanted to cheer you up. You've been distant."

All of a sudden, the room chilled. I looked over my shoulder to see Edward seething with anger behind me. "It's not your fucking job to cheer up _my_ wife. Hasn't she told you the news yet?"

Giles looked confused. "What news?"

Edward laughed menacingly. "I knocked her up again. She's pregnant with my twin girls. Put that in your motherfucking pipe and smoke it."

"Giles," I said, my eyes pleading with him to understand. "It wasn't planned. I promise I can still do the tour…"

He placed his hand on my lower back and smiled. "Congratulations. I can tell you enjoy being a mother. I'll just have to make sure you don't wear yourself out, love."

Edward was about to pull out his gun—I saw his hand reach inside of his jacket. Wanting to spare Giles a bullet, I led my almost ex-husband across the room. Several people smiled at us as we passed. In public, we were still a beautiful, happily married couple.

"You need to go," I whispered as soon as we were away from the crowd.

"No."

"It's not a request, Edward. This is my party, and you are ruining it for me. We are separated. It's none of your business if I talk to another man, especially if it's someone that is a part of my professional life. I'm not going to play these games with you," I vowed.

Edward's crazed eyes looked almost demonic as his nostrils flared. "How long are you going to make him wait until you fuck him?"

I raised my hand to slap him, but he caught my wrist. I pulled away. "If you don't leave, I'll have Felix escort you off the premises. Some of your State Senate colleagues are here tonight, so please, just go home before this gets ugly."

"All I wanted to do was dance with you. Why can't you ever give me a fucking break? I'm working my ass off here. I know I fucked up, but you throw it in my face every damn day. Did you read the letters I wrote you? I'm fighting a constant battle, and you're only making it worse, Bella."

I kept my eyes downcast. "I said I'd like you to leave now."

"You're being a bitch. I created this shit, but you are keeping it going. Let me in or sign the fucking divorce papers and end it, because neither one of us is fucking happy."

When I finally looked up, he was halfway to the door. I walked back over to Giles and began a conversation with one of my old English professors. Deep inside, I was kicking myself for the way I'd just treated Edward. He had come to support me like everyone else, and I'd purposely ran him away. Would my anger never dissipate?

After dinner, I excused myself and went out to the balcony. Looking down below, I could see my brother and Alice kissing passionately under the stars. Rose and Emmett were also sucking face on the other side of the lawn. I let the tears fall as I watched Esme and Carlisle walk arm in arm among the flowers—I would never know that kind of love again.

"What's the matter, _cara_?" Di asked, draping a silk shawl around my shoulders.

I sniffled and wiped my face with the Kleenex she handed me. "I had a fight with Edward. I made him go home, but now I feel bad."

"From what I've seen, all you two do is fight. I know things have been horrible, but I've always believed he truly loves you."

"He says he does, but then why did he cheat? Finding him naked with another woman was bad enough, but seeing him look like he cared about her was even worse. Then…then all the others… I can't just pretend my heart isn't broken," I sobbed.

She began gently petting my hair. "I know it is, honey. I've said my peace to Edward. You have to look at it from his side, too, though. He was in a very bad place. His doctor in Chicago sent me some information about mental disorders, and I must admit even I was shocked."

"That's why I feel bad, but I did try to help him. At Christmas, I was in the room when he began talking to his dead father. I begged him to get help, but he refused. Now look at us…we're bringing more babies into this nightmare."

Di kissed the top of my head. "Every child is a blessing. My ability to have offspring was taken away from me by a monster, but it always brings me joy when someone in my inner circle is pregnant."

"Oh, Di, I'm being such a selfish cow!"

"No you're not. But it sounds like you've been hanging around Mr. Atwood too much," she said, pointedly. "I've seen the way that man looks at you, and I don't like it."

"You sound just like Edward. He always accuses me of being with other men, but he's still my only lover," I confessed, feeling slightly embarrassed.

Di hip checked me. "Don't be shy. I've seen and heard many scandalous things in my lifetime. Don't let this innocent face fool you."

"Well…I do know I don't feel the same kind of heat I have with Edward when I'm with Giles but… but I have needs and urges… It was so easy for Edward to hook up with other people, so maybe I would be the same."

"It's not a good idea," Di warned, shaking her head. "You would be doing it out of revenge and end up hating yourself more. I once slept with another man when Marcus and I were having problems, and it made everything more complicated."

"You did? But you guys are so in love."

She shrugged. "Every relationship has its rough patch. It was before we were married, but we were seriously dating. In those days Marcus was gone a lot. The Mafia Wars were claiming many of our friends and their families. I resented him for leaving me alone all the time, and he hated that I refused to adjust to his lifestyle."

"What happened?" I asked, barely able to believe the story.

"The man I slept with was one of the Volturi guards. I knew I'd signed that man's death warrant the minute I opened my legs, but I was young and full of rage. Marcus caught us in bed together. They went for their guns at the same time, but of course my husband won. I thought for sure that he was going to kill me, too, but he just spat in my face and ran away."

"Wow. How did you make up after that?"

She took a sip of her wine before answering. "We didn't speak for months. Marcus still took care of me financially, but he stayed far away from our condo. News about his violence and killing became legendary, even in Chicago. He took out his anger against me on our enemies.

"After awhile, he started following me when I jogged in the park. He never spoke but stayed close enough so I would sense him. One night, I invited him over for dinner. We had a long talk about everything. We just took it one step at a time. Eventually, we got married." Di and Marcus' love was beautifully, but I didn't think the same method would work for me and Edward.

"Have you…since then?"

Thankfully she understood my question. "I've only been with Marcus since our wedding day, and he's also been monogamous."

"But how can you be sure with men like them? They can lie as easily as blink."

Di chuckled. "You knew, didn't you? I think a person can always tell, even if they deny it to themselves. Marcus has always been upfront and honest with me, though."

She was right. "Yeah. I knew, but I just wanted to stay in our bubble a little while longer." I admitted sadly. "I thought my love could fix him."

We talked for a few more minutes, and then Giles took me away so he could introduce me to some book bloggers. I smiled, answered their questions, and posed for a few Instagrams. By the time signed copies of my book were handed out, I was almost asleep on my feet.

Giles noticed and made me sit down at a nearby table. "You must be exhausted, darling. I'm sorry I kept you for so long."

Dazedly, I started at his lips as he spoke. They were beautiful and full. If I tried, maybe I would be able to give myself to Giles. He seemed to genuinely like me, and we shared the same interests. Plus my vibrators and sex toys weren't satisfying me lately.

_Maybe a hot fling is just what I need._ I thought suddenly.

"You look a little flushed, Bella. Should I go get your father-in-law?"

"That's okay. I just need to go home and get some sleep."

When Di and I got into the bulletproof Hummer, Jane informed us Edward was at the mansion with Dante. I'd hired a trusted night nanny so all my friends and family could be at the party, but apparently Edward had sent the woman home.

"Ugh!" I yelled, throwing my gold clutch on the warm leather seat. "He cannot keep doing this."

I was fuming by the time the car pulled into the driveway. Part of me wanted to take a bat and destroy Edward's precious Phantom, which was parked proudly near the front door. He obviously just didn't give a damn about my rules.

Di begged me to stay calm before going to her room. Jane said she could stay if I needed her, but I sent her home to Jessica. There were more bodyguards outside around the house if I needed help.

Before confronting Edward, I went to my room to change. I made sure to hang up the dress before slipping on a cream silk nightgown and matching robe. It took all my strength to walk calmly into the study. Edward, dressed in jeans and a light blue v-neck, was sitting on one of the antique leather couches reading a book.

"I think Jane Austin is overrated," he complained, tossing aside one of my favorite novels.

"So is being Edward Cullen's wife and fuck toy!"

"Are we still on this shit?"

"What the hell are you doing here?"

He cocked his head to the side and openly stared at my breasts. "I came over to put DC to bed, and then I decided to stay until you returned."

My patience ran out. "It's time for you to go home, Edward. I don't know if you're drunk, high, or whatever, but I'm so tired of your bullshit."

"Feisty!" he shouted, smiling widely. "I love it when my little tigress comes out to play. Oh and by the way, I'm completely sober right now."

I rolled my eyes. "Good for you. I'm sure skank Gina is still awake. If you hurry, you may be able to wet your dick before the night is done. Godspeed."

"Is that what you think I want?" he asked, rising to his feet.

"Don't you?"

Edward held my arms behind my back, forcing me to bend over the desk that I'd been leaning on. "I'm fucking sick and tired of your smart mouth! I think you need a spanking." In a move so quick even I missed it, he managed to remove my yellow thong.

"Let me go," I pleaded weakly. Truthfully, I wanted him to fuck me-which made me hate myself even more than usual.

"Not until you apologize for tonight."

"_Vaffanculo stronzo!" _I yelled—the Italian flowing easily from my mouth.

"Listen to you, _tesoro_. Fuck, hearing you speak my language turns me on. Can you feel it?" he questioned, pressing his huge erection against my ass.

"I hope it falls off!" _Liar!_

Edward growled lowly in my ear. "Bad girls need to be punished."

"What about bad boys? Do they get to do whatever they want without consequences?"

He licked my neck from ear to base. "No. They pay the price, too."

"Just get it over with so that I can kick your sorry ass out of my house. You disgust me."

Edward's hand came down hard on my backside, making me yelp in surprise. I'd expected him to be gentle at first, but I'd angered the beast. The sting felt good against my heated flesh, and I soon found myself craving the pain.

"You hit like a little girl," I taunted, almost screaming out in pleasure when he struck me again and again. I had to bite down on my lip to keep quiet.

A few minutes later, he began to massage the flesh. "You turn red so easily. Did I hurt you?"

"Yes!"

"Babydoll, I'm sorry. I just thought…"

I quickly pulled down my gown. "Go to hell!"

Before he could catch me, I ran to the bedroom, grabbed my Iphone and pressed seven. "I want Mr. Cullen escorted off of my property."

By the time he made it to me, two guards were in the house. Edward called them "dickhead" and begged me to let him speak. I watched from the door as the men basically shoved him into his car. He gave me one last pleading look before driving away.

"Are you okay, Mrs. Cullen?"

I nodded. "Yes. Thank you."

Fortunately, my little lamb and Di slept through the whole thing. I sat with Dante for a few minutes and thought about the incident. Basically, I'd overreacted and crushed Edward's spirit. He hadn't really hurt me, but I didn't want him to know he still turned me on.

Pretty soon, I began to get sleepy. I kissed my little lamb's fat cheeks before walking across the hall to my room. Onyx meowed, licking her paws while I scratched behind her ears. She was such a good pet and a reminder of a past time in my life when I'd had to be strong.

"Why am so weak now?" I asked aloud.

Later I woke up from a very graphic dream, in which Edward had not only spanked me but fucked me hard. I ran to the bathroom and unlocked my chest of toys. Panting, I took out my pearl rabbit vibrator. Then I laid down on the rose-colored chaise lounge.

Two pumps and I was whimpering Edward's name as the first orgasm hit. When I penetrated myself, I remembered the feel of Edward's slightly rough hands on my ass. By the time the third wave shook me, I was spent.

Afterwards, I cleaned up and climbed back into bed. It was so hard getting used to sleeping alone, but Dante was growing up and needed to spend more time in his nursery. What good was all the expensive furniture if he never used it? Besides, he was just right across the hall.

Before slumber could claim me, I sent Edward a text message:

**I'm sorry about tonight. I've been a bitchy brat. FYI, you didn't hurt me. I hope you got home safe. Maybe we could have lunch together tomorrow? – Bella**

**This roller coaster is fucking me up more than I already am. I think we need a few days apart. I'll come over to visit Dante when you're not there. – Edward**

After reading his reply, I cried myself to sleep

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

We hadn't spoken for two days, but Jasper called to tell me Edward was holed up in his old club office. I'd driven over to HADES and used my code to get inside of the lair. I'd found Edward half naked sitting in front of an easel painting. After I apologized sincerely, he suggested we begin couple's counseling again.

Edward and I sat beside each other while Dr. A. gave us a lecture about communication. My stomach had been off the last few days, so I had the wastebasket next to me just in case. Edward's green eyes followed my movements very closely.

"Bella," Dr. A. said, bringing me into the conversation. "I know you read the literature on bipolar disorder, but did you really understand?"

"I think so."

"Then you know that divorce rates among couples where one party suffers from bipolarism are very high. Edward's emotions are fragile. The medication he is taking helps, but he needs strong family support."

Edward sighed. "I really do try, babydoll. Sometimes, the things you say make me feel like a worthless piece of shit."

"Oh, so now I'm supposed to forget everything you've done because you've been diagnosed?"

Dr. A. held up her hand. "No one is asking you to excuse Edward's past behavior. He made a conscious decision to cheat and attempt suicide. All I'm saying is there were reasons beyond his control which helped contribute to this mess."

"I shouldn't even be here," I mumbled petulantly.

Dr. A. turned to me. "Why not?"

"Because we're not even a couple! We're just…just two people bound together for the sake of our children."

Edward flinched at my harsh tone. "We're doing this for DC and our girls. They deserve the best so we can at least try to make amends."

"Bella, I know you're feeling a lot of hurt and anger, but selfishness won't help this situation. Edward can't heal unless the people he loves are in his corner. Now I'm not saying you'll get back together and live happily ever after, but this constant fighting has to end. Think of the children," she pleaded.

"What can I do?" I asked, reaching for his arm.

His whole face brightened. "You'll really try?"

I placed his hand over my stomach. "Anything for them and our son. I'm tired of living with all this anger and aggression; it's not good for the babies or me."

Dr. A. told me it was important I remain patient with Edward. He'd put me on this pedestal in his mind, so my opinions and feelings had the power to make or break him. He informed us he was working with his Chicago therapist to get out of that mindset and see me as a normal woman, albeit one he loved.

"Bella, don't be afraid to ask Edward about his medication and daily progress. The most important thing is to let him know that you really care. Be supportive. I'll send you a few e-books that may help."

After the session, I felt much better and so did Edward. We picked up our little lamb and went to the pier for lunch. It was the most lighthearted I'd felt in months. We were nowhere near golden again, but maybe we were on our way to becoming friends.

"Ma ma," Dante cooed, tugging on my ponytail.

I passed him to his father as a waitress led us to table. "Fuck, you're getting huge," Edward muttered, ticking our little lamb's belly.

"Language, please."

"Sorry."

It was a rare clear sunny day, so I was glad we'd chosen to sit outside to eat. Dante babbled and bounced happily in his stroller while gnawing on a bread stick. Edward would lean forward every now and again to give him an Eskimo kiss—it warmed my heart.

"So, what do you want for Mother's Day?" Edward asked, his eyes filled with happiness.

I'd almost completely forgotten the holiday was this weekend and made a mental note to buy all the moms in my life a special gift. "Nothing. My babies are healthy, and that's all I really need."

"Come on, babydoll. What about a spa getaway or some new diamonds? By the way, how come you never wear any of the jewelry I bought you?"

I sighed. "I had Jenks put it away in a vault while you were away. I only wore it because it meant something special…but it all lost meaning. I hope you can understand."

He nodded sadly. "One day, I hope I can…"

Dante screamed, "Da da!" interrupting our moment.

Edward lifted him out of the stroller. "You have the worst timing, little man." His voice was playful and affectionate.

My little lamb stuck out his tongue, which made me giggle. "He got that one from me," I stated proudly.

After lunch, we headed home. Angela, Giles, and Ben were more than capable of finishing the last minute details of the book tour, so I'd cut my hours at the bookstore. Carlisle had insisted I rest as much as possible-it was better not to argue.

"When is Marcus coming home?" I asked as Edward carried Dante into his nursery. As usual, my little lamb had fallen asleep in the car.

"He'll be here this weekend. Shit in Naples was horrible. He tried his best, but some things can't be tamed."

"Will we be safe?"

Edward wrapped his arm around my waist, providing comfort. "I won't let anything happen to you or our children. If things get really bad, we can escape to the private Volturi islands."

"I forgot about those."

He laughed. "Just like you forgot about all those millions sitting in the bank, the private jets, the property…. Bella, you should really enjoy our wealth more. It's the only thing I can give you."

I reached up to caress his freshly shaven face. "That's not true, and you know it."

"Thanks, babydoll. I needed to hear that."

We walked hand and hand to the den and sat down on the sectional. "Edward," I asked. "Do you really think we can friends like Dr. A. said?"

He leaned down and licked the shell of my ear. "Maybe friends with benefits. I know you get horny when you're knocked up. I can make you feel so good. It doesn't have to be about me getting off. I know you don't want that with me anymore, not that I blame you after the shit I pulled."

I giggled, snuggling into his waiting arms. "Let's work on just being regular friends. If I need your services, I know where to find you."

* * *

_This does not mean they are back together and hot lemons will commence. They are just agreeing to be friends for the sake of the children. It's like deja vu for our couple. Do they ever learn? The next chapter is Mother's Day and more. Please review. Dante cuddles to you all. _


	18. Chapter 17: Can't Be Friends

**_A/N:_**_Happy Fourth of July weekend. Thanks for all the love last chapter. I read each and every review. Special shout out to **Isabelbreezy **for the song chapter. Please visit my blog (Link on Profile page) to see pictures, listen to music, and read informative articles. I recently posted a modern day real life Mafia story from Vanity Fair. This chapter contains sex, violence, and adult language. I wuuld suggest you skip this fic if you can't handle the content._

_Please take time to explore FFN and read lesser known fics. There are some great gems out there that just don't get enough love. _

**Recs:** (In my Favorites)

_**From These Ashes**_ by Shelikesthesound: _High school fic with a drug abusing Bella and a cocky Edward. Full of angst and hot lemons. Please leave her a review._

_**My Little Dove** by Lo21: One of the best one shots I've ever read. If you like angst, you will love it.  
_

* * *

**Look what this girl done did to me,**  
** She done cut me off from a good, good love.**  
** She told me that those days were gone (gone, gone, gone)**  
** Now I'm sitting here going half crazy**  
** 'Cause I know she still thinks about me too,**  
** And there ain't no way in hell, that I can be just friends with you (you, you, you)**  
** And I wish we never did it**  
** And I wish we never loved it**  
** And I wish I never fell so deep in love with you and now ain't no way we can be friends.**

Can't Be Friends-Trey Songz

_**EPOV**_

While cruising through the streets of Seattle at night, I spotted my prey. I'd been hard all day thinking about her and how her ass jiggled just right when she walked. This woman had no idea how fucking horny she made me on a daily basis. My damn dick felt like it was about to detach itself from my body and run after the tight pussy in its sight.

_Stand down, boy._

I parked at a meter and watched as the ugly motherfucker she had a date with led her down the street. She was a goddess, and he was fucking nuisance. It was warm, so she removed her jacket; which was a wrong move because it just made more fuckers stare at her ass. I picked up a stress ball and squeezed it hard.

"Turn around. Look at me." Obviously I didn't have any power over this woman, because she wouldn't spare me a single glance.

The basic fucker said something which made her smile, and I almost fucking lost my shit. Soon, they made their way to the art gallery. He put his hand on the small of her back, leading her inside the lighted building.

Smirking, I pulled out a bottle of Armani Code and sprayed some on my neck. I remembered she loved the smell of it. Then I popped a mint while artfully styling my messy hair. Healthy living and exercise had made me into some kind of fucking Adonis, so my gray Hugo Boss slacks and black button-down fit just right. Overall, I looked like pure-fucking-sex.

Some bitches on the sidewalk stopped to check me out. I ignored their desperate asses and nodded to my security detail in the restaurant across the street. I pitied any motherfucker dumb enough to put his hands on the Phantom.

After fixing my white, silk tie in the mirror, I jogged across the street. The front door man greeted me with a smile earning himself a Benjamin. Technically I didn't know the fucking sculptor and had no invite, but Edward Masen-Cullen has never needed a piece of fucking paper to get in a party.

The basic fucker had left the woman to go get her something to drink. She placed her hands on her hips as she stared at some weird art shit which looked like mashed up metal crayons. Her beaded silver dress hugged all the right curves ending just above the knee-and paired with matching heels made her legs look fucking insane. My cock throbbed painfully as I leered at the back of her bare neck. I crept closer and closer until her plump ass was right over my erection.

"Good evening, babydoll." She jumped and turned around.

"What are you doing here, Edward? This is a private event." I took in her angry brown eyes before honing in on the tit buffet.

I lowered my head and whispered in her ear, "You're beautiful. Please let me take you somewhere really private."

She had the audacity to laugh at me. "You know that's not going to happen. You shouldn't even be here. What if Giles sees you?"

"I don't give a fuck! He's not in my league."

"Is there a problem?" Basic fucker asked, walking up to us. I almost punched him in the stomach when he stood protectively next to my babydoll.

Scowling, I looked him dead in the eye and replied, "Yes, there's a big fucking problem. You're out on a date with my _pregnant_ wife. What kind of book publisher mixes business with pleasure? She's not stupid; she'll never give you any pussy. Besides, you wouldn't know how to handle it if she did, _che cazzo_!"

I had a few seconds to gloat before my angel grabbed my hand, pulling me outside. When we got to the alleyway, she let go. Unfortunately, Atwood was right behind us and put himself between me and my wife. I was going to fucking murder the bastard.

"Is it your goal in life to follow me everywhere and embarrass me? Giles and I have a strictly professional relationship and you're…"

The fucker cleared his throat. "I think I should handle this, Bella."

She turned her ire on him. "What the hell? You don't speak for me either. I can deal with this myself!"

"I guess she told you. Come on, babydoll, let's go somewhere so we can talk."

"Shut up!"

Giles rolled his shoulders and stepped forward. "I think you should leave now."

I growled like a fucking animal. "Go to hell, motherfucker!"

He placed one hand on my babydoll's delicate arm. "It's your call, love."

Bella's eyes widened. "Um, he's… I don't think…"

Before I knew what was happening, he was down on the concrete trying to protect his face from my fists. Clearly Mr. Atwood had had some fight training. He managed to keep me at bay as well as get in some of his own blows. Unfortunately for him, I fought dirty. While he was trying to restrain me, I kicked him in the nuts.

"_Vaffanculo!_ She's fucking mine. Always been mine and always will be. Who the fuck are you? I'll fucking kill you and feed your dick to one of my Godfather's pet sharks. You've messed with the wrong man!"

Pretty soon, I was being pulled off of basic fucker. My knuckles were raw and there were a few specks of blood on my suit. I continued to yell Italian insults as Felix dragged me away. A few people had stopped to watch, so I was immediately thrown into an SUV with tinted windows. I was so worked up I didn't notice my babydoll in the seat next to me until she spoke.

"Thanks for ruining my night! I've never been so embarrassed. Ugh!" she screamed, putting as much distance as possible between our bodies.

"Sorry."

"That's all you have to say," she snarled, glaring at me. "Giles and I are just friends. We were at a public place, and I assure you absolutely nothing was going to happen tonight."

I felt my control slipping. "He shouldn't have put his grubby fucking-hands on you. I'm not just gonna stand and watch…"

My babydoll held up her small hand. "If you care even a little about me, you will go back in there with me and apologize to Giles. After the exhibit is done, I will go out somewhere with you."

"Will Atwood be our third wheel all night?"

"He's not a 'third wheel', because you and I aren't on a date. We agreed to be friends, Edward. Do you need to look up the definition?"

I counted to ten and took a deep breath. "Photographic memory over here."

"Good. Take it or leave," she muttered before opening her door.

"Fine! Just don't expect me to make small talk with that asshole."

After I apologized to Atwood and his artsy fartsy friends, my babydoll let me lead her around the room. Some of the art was really good, but Bella's ass was the real star of the night. I had to keep walking directly behind her because motherfuckers wanted to test me.

Suddenly, she stopped moving. "Can you back up a little?"

I adjusted myself for the millionth time and moved so I was by her side. "Well, if you didn't wear shit that makes you look so damn hot I wouldn't have to reach for my holster every ten minutes."

"Edward," she giggled, "nobody is looking at me. I've already gained like eight pounds ."

"I wish that was the case. You're getting juicier in all the right places," I explained, examining her ass and hips. "Plus I think you might be giving off horny pheromones or some shit." She rolled her gorgeous brown eyes and continued walking.

"There you are," Giles said, his voice booming as he led the artist over to us.

My babydoll fucking straightened her dress and smiled. "Hey, I missed you." _Fucking what?_

The blonde bitch next to him held her hand out to Bella. "Thank you both for coming to my show." She was tall and leggy with an accent which hinted she was from Spain.

"It's lovely," Bella said while sizing up the competition.

Giles smiled so fucking wide I could count all his teeth. "Bella is one of our best new authors. We're actually about to go on a book tour soon."

I ignored him and focused on my angel. She looked jealous as hell, which worried me. It was cute when she was envious over me but not when it was for another man. I felt like my wife didn't want me anymore.

"Well, it was nice to meet you both. Look around and buy anything you like," the blonde one said before leaving. Giles said his goodbyes and followed right after her.

"Oh my god! Did you see her? She's gorgeous," Bella whisper-yelled as soon as they were out of earshot.

I shrugged. "She was okay, if you like that kind of thing. I thought she looked too skinny."

Bella looked at me like I was ready to get on the short bus. "Please, Edward. She would totally be your type if she got fake breasts and a deeper tan."

"Fucking hell! Why do you always throw that shit in my face when I'm trying to be your friend? Why do you care about her anyway?"

My babydoll looked away from me and towards the basic fucker. "I just, um, I think he can do better. He's a great guy and…"

"Bella, do you like Giles as more than a colleague and friend?" The minute she bit her lip, I knew I wasn't going to like the answer.

"I have all these mixed up feelings. Me and you… I didn't have any experience when we met. Everything sexual I've experienced has been with you. I just… I want to know if I could feel a spark somewhere else. Let's face it, our time is running out."

"So what, I'm just supposed to sit back and let you fuck another man? Hell no! I would kill him, I wouldn't be able to stop myself," I confessed.

Bella's eyes widened. "Doesn't that make you a hypocrite? So what, I'm supposed to stay at home and be the good little mother and never have passion again while you move on?"

The conversation was giving me a fucking headache. "I'm not going anywhere, Bella. You make it seem like you've already given up on our love."

"You gave up on us the minute you stuck your dick in all those whores," she snarled while walking away from me.

I grabbed her arm and spun her around. "Stop it! We've been doing well the last few days. I'm following Dr. A's orders about being open and honest, but that doesn't mean that we can pick fights with each other."

"I've always been the good girl and look where that got me. Both of my parents are dead, and I married a man who threw me away in less than a year. I'm not saying Giles will be the one, but I don't want to spend my whole life alone. It will be hard enough finding a man who doesn't mind all the…"

"Shut up," I said lowly. "I can't even stand to hear you speak about fucking some asshole."

She smirked. "Well, I couldn't stand to see it, but you showed me anyway. Get off your high horse, Edward. Maybe I need to have a fling to get over you."

We were near the front door. I gently tugged Bella out into the chilly night air, wrapping my jacket around her shoulders. She protested before letting me lead her to the Phantom. I nodded at my guys to let them know I was ready to leave.

After helping Bella into the passenger seat, I ran to the driver's side. "Fuck. You really know how to push my buttons," I mumbled while starting the car.

She pulled down the mirror and began fixing her makeup. "You weren't even supposed to be here tonight. Stop stalking me! It's neither cute nor funny."

"Ladies and gentleman: Bella the bitch is back," I deadpanned, glaring at her.

"Well if I'm a bitch, you made me that way!"

"You know what your real problem is? You want me to fuck you so bad you can't bear it."

"Yeah right," she scoffed.

"Admit it, babydoll, you want me. It makes you angry to want what you shouldn't so you lash out at every turn," I said, hoping that she wouldn't hop out of the car and call Jane.

"I have a vibrator," Bella mumbled flippantly.

"Yeah, but you miss the way it feels. Remember how you used to lose your breath when you felt my dick slide into your warm, wet pussy? Remember…"

She turned around and leveled me with a steely glare. "Remember how you almost raped me? Remember when you lied and began fucking other women? Remember when I walked in on you wrapped up with a junkie hooker? Remember when you fucked both of the whores who worked for you-whores I warned you not to hire. Remember when you overdosed after an orgy and almost gave me a heart attack? Nothing you do in the bedroom could ever make up for all of that!"

"Bella..."

"I wanted to come to you, you know?" she said, sniffling. "When they told me you were in the hospital…even after all the hell you put me through. I didn't want you to die. They had to sedate me."

I reached out, trying to offer comfort. "I will never forgive myself for any of that shit. I'm truly sorry, babydoll. I know it'll take time, but I want you to give me one last chance. Please, don't leave me just yet."

I was caught completely off guard by her next question. "Can we spend the night at the lair?"

"Of course! Let's stop and pick up dinner first. What do you want?"

After refastening her seat belt, she turned to me with eager eyes. "Beef stew and cornbread."

On the way to Garrett's restaurant, we talked about _mi_ _figlio_. His first birthday was happening in two weeks and the women had made plans for an elaborate party to celebrate. There were going to be zoo animals and bouncy houses all over the front yard. I knew it would take time to make up for my neglect, but I hoped Dante was starting to love me as much as I loved him.

For the first time since we got in the Rolls, Bella smiled. "He won't care what we do as long as Sasha is there. They are so cute! Kate and I walked on them doing a Wiggles dance together. I should probably start planning the wedding."

"I would be fucking ecstatic if he ends up with her. He's not going to be anything like me, and for that I'm grateful. You're doing a great job with him, babydoll."

An hour later, I was punching in the code for the lair. Bella followed me inside and snuck off to hang up my suit jacket while I put the food in bowls. I took my time and made it all look nice but really I was stalling.

"I really like that new picture you painted with the hands holding the one butterfly," Bella said, coming up behind me.

"A man should try as hard as he can to capture and hold on to something so rare and beautiful." The way her face flushed, I think she knew I was talking about our relationship.

"Can you keep my food warm? I'd just like to take a quick shower and change before we eat."

I gulped imagining my angel naked and wet. "Sure! Do you need me to wash your back?"

"No, but thanks for the offer," she giggled before exiting.

My cock strained painfully against my pants. We'd made love in the lair so many times it was impossible not to let my mind wallow in the gutter. Sighing, I took out one of the giant ass bottles of water and took a long sip. Then I took my Lithium pills and sat down on the couch. I had a feeling the rest of the night would be heavy, and I needed to keep my shit together.

When Bella returned, I made her up a tray and carried it out to the living room. She'd changed into one of my dark blue Henley's which fit like a gown on her. I loved the smell of her freshly washed hair she had artfully piled on top of her perfect little head.

"This smells delicious."

"So do you."

After an awkward silence, I went to grab my own food. Then I put in a mindless comedy for us to watch while we ate. Bella made the most adorable fucking noises as she consumed her soup. Each time I looked her way, she would ignore me.

"Talk to me, babydoll," I pleaded pathetically. My balls were already shriveling so I figured I had nothing to lose.

"I'm not being a very good friend to you," she said, finally making eye contact. "It's just… I can't pretend a piece of me isn't broken. Sometimes I feel so numbI'm not sure I'm even alive."

I turned the big screen off and turned to her. "It's all my fucking fault. I wish I would have been courageous and done things differently."

"I get that you were sick...that you're still dealing with this illness, but I can't get my mind past the hurt. You promised me so many things, Edward. Now all I have is this sharp pain in my gut whenever I think about us. It's so hard for me to even be your friend when some days I can't stand the sight of you," she admitted.

"I know, babydoll. I try not to smother you too much, but it's like I crave your company. I spent most of past few months pushing you away, but now all I want to do is have you closer. It's so selfish of me to need you this much."

There was another long stretch of silence as she put her tray on the table. The air was thick with tension, and I half expected Bella to bolt. The pain I saw in her eyes made me want to run away and get fucking high so I wouldn't care. I hadn't craved heroin so bad since leaving rehab.

I decided to be honest. "Seeing you like this…it makes me want to relapse. I can almost taste the smack."

She looked horrified. "Don't! If you go back to drugs, I'll have no choice but to ban you from our lives. I need you to be able to handle this without... Please, think of your son."

"I'm not going to do it, but I wanted you to be aware of my daily struggle. Last night, I had horrible dreams about demons eating my flesh from the inside out. Even with the meds I'm not completely cured. It'll take time and a lot of effort on my part." It was best she knew everything before continuing this journey.

"Do you still want to be with other women?" she asked timidly.

I shook my head. "No, that's one thing I'm clear on. I only want you."

"Edward," Bella said, biting her lower lip. "Let's forget all our problems for a little while and fuck like we used to do. You were right about me missing your cock. I want you buried inside of me all night."

I hung my head and took a minute to think. My dick didn't give a flying fuck where this shit was coming from; he just wanted to get wet. My heart felt differently, though. Bella was really at a low point, and sex with me would just make our new friendship more complicated. As much as I joked about friends with benefits, I wanted to do the right thing for once.

"No, you'll just regret it. We have to be smart about our choices."

"Right answer. I was testing you, and you passed."

Around midnight, I put a bunch of pillows between our bodies and climbed into bed. Bella smiled, giving me a chaste kiss on the cheek. She let me brush out her hair until it shone marvelously in the moonlight. I'd had to knock one out in the bathroom just to be able to sleep in the same bed as my angel.

"Goodnight, Edward.

"Night, babydoll."

I woke up a little after two in the morning. The pillows had been thrown on the floor and my hand was down Bella's underwear, my middle finger rubbing her clit. She groaned and pushed her hips back against me. Instantly the beast was awakened.

"Damn it," I whispered, trying to remember the reason I'd turned down sex earlier.

I felt Bella's nails digging into my wrist. "What are you doing?" she asked, her voice raspy from sleep.

"I'm so fucking sorry. I didn't mean to sleep fuck you. I guess my body had a mind of its own…"

She opened her eyes and turned over. "S'okay. Just put the pillows back. I really want to come, but all I can think about is all the other women who have had you. It makes me want to vomit."

I did as she asked, and then scooted to the farthest side of the bed. "I know. Just go back to sleep. I'm just thankful you wanted to spend the night with me."

While I contemplated her honest words, she put her hand over my heart. "Thanks for understanding, and um, I'm kind of surprised you never got this tattoo removed."

"Why would I? I still love you, _dolcezza_."

"I'm getting the one on my ass covered up. I'm not your property, and you're not mine. It was stupid in the first place."

I was glad we weren't facing so she couldn't see the tears which fell from my eyes. "Not to me."

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

Two days later, Marcus arrived in Seattle with a well known _Cosa Notra_ member. It was fucking easy to sneak in shit on private jets, even human beings. I'd gotten the call to meet at the interrogation room and promptly driven over to the docks. It was just fucking smart to do shit there, because all the noise drowned out the screaming.

"Edward, I missed you," Marcus said, giving me the customary kiss on both cheeks.

I hugged him. "Di is going to be so fucking happy. If it wasn't for Dante and the family distraction, I think she would have stayed in bed crying."

"I hated to be away from her but duty called. Speaking of, let's get this shit over with so I can have reunion sex."

I grimaced. "You just had to go there. Di is practically my mother."

He grinned and slapped me on the back. "Well, she's my wife and we have mind-blowing sex. Lots of it in fact."

I covered my ears until we got down to the main room. An armed guard opened the thick steel door and stepped aside. Before going in, I put on my mask—the face I showed to other made men. Our kind could sense weakness a mile away, and I didn't want to give the fucker any reason to think I was soft.

Marcus turned on the lights and roused the sleeping form. The man was covered in bruises and had been hooked up to the electroshock machine. I'd never had it done to me, but I remembered Aro telling me it was like feeling your blood ooze out of every pore. He'd been tortured back before the Volturi took over Chicago.

"Well, well, well," the fucker said, using his one good eye to stare at me. "I get the honor of seeing Edward Masen again. How've you been?"

"Obviously much better than you."

He laughed, the sound was grotesque because of all the blood in his mouth. "I'm just fine. Unlike your clan, the _Cosa_ is made of soldiers."

Marcus pressed the button, and soon the room was filled with the scent of fresh burned flesh. "Try again. Tell us what we want to know." My Godfather was like the Grim Reaper when he got pissed.

"Fuck you," the ingrate spat.

"Is that what you like?" I asked, leaning towards him. "I have some things I would like to shove up your ass, and trust me, it won't be pretty."

"You fucking mutt!" he screamed. "You don't even deserve to breathe the same air as me. Your father was an abomination, and so are you!"

I jabbed him in the nose, smiling when blood coated his face. "You must have a serious death wish."

Marcus sat down in a nearby chair and sighed. "You're only making it worse. You sent an assassin to kill me in Naples. I want to know on whose orders. I don't think you have the balls to do it yourself."

"You've got lots of enemies," the fucker shouted, his bravado back in full force.

"Yes, but none of them is bold enough to sign my death warrant."

I wanted to torture the motherfucker until he talked, but I had a feeling he would die before giving us anything. The trick with men like him was finding out what they held dear and using it against them. On a whim, I pulled out my phone and did a little research in our archives for inspiration.

"Oh by the way, Masen, your wife is fucking hot. Vince keeps a photograph of her in his office. When I get out of here, I'm so going to tap her sweet ass."

I lunged for him. "Don't even think about my wife. I fucking castrated the last fucker who thought he could take what was mine. You've heard the stories about my suicide mission in Russia, haven't you?"

Marcus held me back. "Stay calm. He's just like his father-big talk but no real balls."

I knocked on the door so that I could take a breather. Campinelli had made no secret of his fascination with Bella, even sending her a diamond necklace for Christmas, but I thought he'd fucking moved on by now. The old adage about keeping your friends close and your enemies closer was right. I'd been caught up in my own bullshit and let him get comfortable, but things were about to change.

After awhile, I did more research and made a phone call. It only took a few minutes to give our men the instructions. I had to do a grand gesture to show the other fuckers we were not playing around with this Mafia business. There were people who thought the Volturi had gotten too comfortable, but our forces were still as ruthless as they'd been back in the day.

Marcus was putting away a small bloody scalpel when I returned. Aro had insisted all his men learn military torture methods, and Marcus was the best. Caius could do it when necessary, but he didn't enjoy it like his brother. I, on the other hand, was somewhere in between.

I set up the Macbook I'd brought and turned it to face the fucker. He had small cuts all over his chest and salt had been poured in the wounds. His eyes were starting to show surrender-I was glad. I just needed to push him over the edge.

"Your stables in Mexico are being burned as we speak. I bet your sex slaves are gonna be real happy to be done with those barbaric Donkey Shows you make them do every month, you sick bastard." I watched his eyes glaze over as the screen showed the chaos.

Suddenly, the camera panned to the bloodied body of a black stallion. "Your precious Diablo's head is going to look amazing in our hunting cabin."

The fucker screamed like a lunatic. "You killed him! I'm going to kidnap your son and sell him on the fucking black market! I'm going to fuck all the will to live out of your wife. I'm going to…"

I put on my brass knuckles and went to town on breaking his ribs. "You don't ever fucking threaten my family!" I snarled, only stopping when Marcus pulled me away.

"My godson is about to end your sorry life, so you might as well confess. Who ordered my death?"

Just like that, all the fight was gone from our prisoner. He'd finally accepted his fate. "It's a collective group of _Cosa_ who want things to go back to the old ways. Some of them were at your Thanksgiving party. You have no idea the Pandora's box you just opened."

I stared at the wall until the loud pop of a bullet signified his life was over. Marcus put the smoking gun on the table before we opened the door. The cleanup team was already dressed and covered in plastic. The Volturi would have the body dumped in a public square in Naples to show the others that shit had just gotten real.

"Thank you for joining me today, Edward," Marcus said, leading me back to the car. "I wasn't sure you were ready to come back, but you proved me wrong. Let's leave this ugliness behind and go get our ladies."

I put my weapons away and left the lot. "He was right about one thing, there will be consequences. If there's even a whiff of someone seeking retaliation, I want the whole family sent to the islands."

Marcus agreed. "The houses are ready just in case, and we have much better escape routes than we had last time. I just hope it won't come to that. There are some _Cosa_ who wanted that man dead as much as me. He was becoming a liability.

"So, what did you get Bella for Mother's Day?" He asked, changing the subject. To some, it would seem appalling to talk of such trivial things after ending a man's life but to us it was normal.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

All the men had recently fucked up, so Carlisle suggested we spend Mother's Day weekend out in the Pacific. Our luxury yacht had all the amenities of a mansion, including hired help. Thankfully, the women had been thrilled and quickly agreed.

I helped DC swim around the pool while keeping one eye on my bikini clad wife. The red was sinful against her sun kissed skin. The cold water and our babbling baby were the only things keeping my dick at bay, though I still wanted to throw Bella over my shoulder and take her to one of the bedrooms.

"How you holding up, man?" Jasper asked as I passed Dante to Di and Marcus. My baby boy squealed and flailed his fat arms.

"I'm okay, but I would be better if your wife hadn't convinced Bella to wear that bikini. My sister is a pain in the ass," I said good naturally.

He grinned. "In mine, too, but I love her. I think she's finally forgiven me."

"Just don't fuck up again. Alice is special—one of a kind."

Eventually, I decided to go and search for my babydoll who was curiously absent. On the way, I ran into Bree and Riley. Bree had a brilliant smile on her face as they walked down the stairs towards the pool. I gave Riley the stink eye because it was obvious they'd just been intimate.

"You better be practicing safe sex with my sister," I warned, causing both of them to sputter and blush.

Pretty soon, I found my angel. She was on the top deck facing the back of the yacht laying on a one of the plush sectionals. I groaned when I realized she was topless. My willpower was becoming almost nonexistent.

"You're missing all the fun below," I said, surprising her. "What are you reading?"

She squeaked and quickly covered up her tits. "Oh, just an overrated Austen novel. Giles gave me a first edition of _Emma_ and this cool swan bookmark." The swan had Bella's eyes, real feathers, and pearls around its neck. Atwood was a fucking prick.

"Why the fuck would he buy you a Mother's Day present? Correct me if I'm wrong, but he's not the father of any of your children."

She scowled. "No, but he is considerate."

"And I'm not? You haven't seen what I got you yet."

"I'm not comparing you to him, Edward. I just think Giles and I have more in common."

After a few painful seconds, she walked over to the edge of the boat. I stood behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist. To a stranger, it might just look like Bella had had a little too much to eat, but I knew my little babydolls were growing in her. I lovingly caressed the skin and rubbed my thumb over her bellybutton.

"You're so beautiful," I whispered, nibbling on her ear. "I think about you from the moment I wake up until the minute I close my eyes at night."

"I miss sleeping on your chest and waking up with you. Why couldn't our love be enough? I would have died for you." In that moment, I wished like hell that we could start over.

"You were more than enough, and it's not your fault I fucked up. I still love you with all my heart, Bella."

My angel sighed as I began sucking on her exquisite neck. My hands worked their way to her pebbled nipples and squeezed. She made a sound which made my cock jump, and I ground myself into her ass trying to get some relief.

"Do you want me to stop?"

She shook her head. "No…feels good."

"Hold on to the rail," I commanded before taking off her bikini bottoms.

"Edward?" Her voice sounded so unsure.

"Don't worry, babydoll. It's not about me. I just want you to take your pleasure."

My rough fingers entered her pussy slowly. Fortunately, she was already wet and swollen. I worked my digits inside of her using my thumb to stimulate the bundle of nerves. I let Bella set the pace and pretty soon she gushed, coating my fingers in sweet honey.

Before she could catch her breath, I carried her back over to the sectional. Bella opened her mouth and eagerly accepted my tongue. By that point, we were dry humping. I massaged her tongue with mine, and then slowly began nibbling on her full bottom lip.

"I think I might come in my shorts," I said panting.

My little tigress giggled and scraped her nails down my back. "Are you turned on, Mr. Cullen?"

"Fuck yeah!"

I kissed the skin over her thundering heart. She just stared at me sweetly as I began worshiping her body. I suckled her tit, groaning in ecstasy when her milk flooded my mouth. It tasted even better than I remembered.

"Please be gentle. They're super sensitive." I kissed between her breasts to let her know her words had gotten through.

"So perfect," I said, rolling one of nipples between my fingers.

After lavishing her tits with attention, I moved down to her lower body and spread her legs wide. Her gorgeous pink pussy glistened in the sun. Growling, I rubbed my cheek against the tiny strip of soft hair. "Mine!"

My babydoll placed her small hands in my hair and began massaging the scalp. "For now. What are you going to do with your prize?"

"You tell me."

"I want you to tongue fuck me like you used to before we fell apart. I've been dreaming about your mouth all week. Please," she begged.

Her wish was my command, so I put her knees over shoulders and went to work. I ate Bella's pussy out like she was a buffet and I was a fat fucker. Her cries of pleasure only made me work harder- I put my whole body into the act.

"Ugh! I'm coming," she warned before I felt her insides grip my fingers.

"Again."

My babydoll whimpered as I licked her entire slit. Then I blew on her clit, nibbling lightly. Her hands came out of my hair to rest on my shoulders. My tongue lapped at her while my middle finger worked its way into her rosebud.

"Yes," she screamed. "Touch me there, Edward!"

Soon, my babydoll was so wet I was able to slide two fingers up her ass. She ground her tight pussy into my face, which made it even harder to breath. I'd already made her come twice, but I knew the third time would be the charm.

"I wish my cock was in your ass. Your walls would squeeze me until I squirted my load deep…"

Bella cried out as her whole body vibrated. I tried to hold her down, but she shook so hard I had no choice but to back away. I licked my lips and fingers while watching the orgasm spread over her glowing skin. After the last shudder wracked her body, she passed out.

Whistling happily to myself, I covered her up with a striped beach towel. "I've still got it."

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

After having a delicious catered dinner, we retired to the den where the women had proceeded to open all their gifts. Esme cried when Carlisle told her he was going to start working part time hours so they could spend more time together.

My babydoll squeezed my hands as she looked at the portraits of the private mausoleum I'd had built which would soon house her parent's tombs. I knew that it gave Bella a sense of peace when she talked to them, and I didn't want her to have to go away each time she needed to see them.

"Thank you, Edward," she said, her eyes teary. "I didn't even know how much I wanted them here until you gave me this."

I kissed her forehead. "Anything for you, my darling."

Finally, Rose and Emmett returned to the room. He'd gotten her a real race car and driving lessons with a pro. My sister-in-law had promptly asked us all to watch Colin and Brady while she went to their cabin to thank Emmett properly.

Alice purred and rubbed her nose against Jasper's. "Just think, next year I'll probably be a mom! I have so many ideas for a nursery."

We all laughed as Jasper turned sheet white. "You'll be a great mother. I can't wait to have a child with you," he said, his voice forceful with authority.

"More grand babies," Esme and Di squealed in unison. Carlisle and Marcus just smiled.

Penny stirred from her spot in Caius' lap. "Where do babies come from?"

He groaned and looked at Athenadora for help. She shrugged, leaving him to fend for himself. "The stork…"

My babydoll giggled. "What are you going to do when it's time to give our daughters the talk?"

"Uh," I said, rubbing the back of my neck, "I have no idea. Good cop, bad cop?"

"Edward!"

Garrett opened the little safety gate to let the babies out of their enclosure. My son made sure Sasha was with him before toddling over to me. I scooped him up off the floor and blew a raspberry on his belly. Our baby loved to eat and it showed.

"How about we give ma ma her last gift?" He pulled my hair, which I took as a yes.

All eyes were on me as one of the hired helpers brought in a large package. Bella's hands shook as she peeled away the paper. The entire room fell silent when the gift was revealed. I'd drawn Dante running in the field of sunflowers with Onyx at his heels. It was based on a photograph I'd taken of him soon after I returned home.

Bella jumped up and hugged us. "Oh my god! It's beautiful. Thank you so much."

Dante managed to attach himself to his mother and began sucking his thumb. I just sat back and listened while my babydoll described the details she liked best about the painting. The solid gold frame had even been engraved to commemorate the day and year. My original plan had been to give Bella jewelry, but Carlisle told me to give her something from the heart. Clearly, my dad knew his shit.

"I'm glad you like it. _Te amo_. _Sempre_."

Later that night, after Dante had been fed and put into the sleeping room with the rest of the children, Bella came to my bedroom. I'd been stroking my cock when she knocked on the door. Two cold showers and I was still as hard as fuck.

"I just wanted to say goodnight. This has been a great Mother's Day." She sounded a little shy, which caught me off guard.

"You're a wonderful mom, and you deserve to have nice things."

My babydoll licked her lips and looked directly at my cock. Of course, he jumped to show her he was still alive. I groaned, covering my lap with a pillow. I had to get Bella out of my room quickly before I embarrassed myself.

"Are you in a lot of pain?" she asked innocently.

"I'm getting used to having constant blue balls," I replied.

"Will you touch yourself for me?"

My eyes bugged out of my head. "Bella, I don't think…"

"Don't think, just do."

I took off my boxers. Bella grabbed my hand and spit in the palm. I hissed and slowly began stroking my dick. Since I was already turned on, it didn't take long before a drop of pre-cum appeared. My babydoll reached out and wiped it off.

"Do you still think about me when you masturbate?"

"All the fucking time. Sometimes I watch the videos we made," I admitted, smirking when she blushed.

"You don't know how bad I want to climb on top and ride your dick, but I can't. When I look at it, all I can see is that woman in the hotel room. You were affectionate with her, and that hurt almost as much as knowing you cheated on me."

I laid my head back against the headboard. "I'm sorry. You should probably go now. I don't want to cause you any more unnecessary pain."

She sighed loudly. "No, I want to see you come."

Hesitantly, I fisted my cock. Bella opened her legs, giving me a fucktastic view of her pussy lips. "Fuck!" I screamed, not sure why she was helping me.

"I chide you about your language, but your dirty mouth was one of the reasons I fell in love with you. It makes me so wet." When she put her hands in her pussy and stared deep into my eyes, my balls tightened.

"I'm so close, babydoll.

She crawled into my lap and kissed me hard. I didn't touch her, because I knew that if I did, we'd end up fucking. Bella pulled the hair at the nape of my neck while working her clit furiously. She was only wearing a thin tee, so I could feel her nipples digging into my chest.

"Ungh! Come with me," she pleaded, biting down on my shoulder.

I pulled off her shirt and rubbed my cock against her smooth stomach. "Holy fucking shit!" I snarled as I coated her with fresh cum.

She shuddered, finding her own release. "That was…"

"Intense," I said, finishing the thought.

Smiling, she put her fingers in mouth so that I could suck off the juices. Before long, I was sporting wood. My babydoll helped me again, this time coating my dick with her slickness. We kept going until we both passed out from exhaustion. When I woke up the next day, she was gone.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

The last few days had been strange. Bella was incredibly friendly but acted like what we'd done on the yacht never happened. I'd tried to bring it up more than once, but she'd always just blush and change the subject. Unfortunately, her behavior meant I'd had to go back to cold showers.

I was about to send my babydoll a text when Gina, Marcus, and Caius walked into my office. My campaign manager had finally gotten all the information we needed from Judge Wagner. She was no longer useful to us.

I glared at the ugly bitch. "Gina, you're fired. I made a mistake with you but it didn't mean anything. You were just a part of my destruction, but Bella will always be my life. It makes me fucking sick to know I used your skanky ass to hurt my angel. I truly believe karma is real, and I'm getting mine. I almost feel sorry for when the day of reckoning comes for you."

Marcus cleared his throat before speaking. "We've sent the story to Leah. She will break the news live on air at six tonight. Your reputation will be destroyed. The segment will be about Judge Wagner as well as all the other powerful men you've slept with...excluding our allies and Edward. If you ever openly speak about any of them, I'll personally cut out your tongue. _Capisce?"_

She looked scared out of her mind but managed to nod. "Yes, Sir."

"I'm glad we're on the same page. We may not kill women, but we can make your life so bad you'd wish you were dead," Caius threatened, his eyes glowing with hate.

"Where will I go?"

I took over. "We have a private jet waiting for you at our airstrip. You will be flown to Japan to work for one of our friends in the Yakuza. He runs his outfit like the military and won't take any shit from you. If I ever see you in Seattle or Chicago, I'll put you in a room with Bella and let her kick your ass."

"But…but my life is here," she whined, looking at us as if we were insane.

"Shut your fucking mouth! You're lucky we're not letting them throw you in prison with Wagner," Marcus hissed.

Caius laughed. "Don't worry, I'll make sure all your clothes and furniture go to charity. The Yakuza boss will expect you to wear a similar uniform to the one Edward gave you. I want you to know none of the men whom you fucked offered to come to your aid. You've spent your whole life being a glorified whore and look where you ended up."

Gina began to cry. "Will I be expected… Will I be a sex slave?"

"Nope. The boss will use you in a corporate capacity. We don't participate in human slavery," I promised.

Minutes later, my godfathers escorted her out of the building. I planned to have a meeting for replacement workers. This time I would include my babydoll in the process and only hire people who she would approve, like I should have done in the first place.

We had upcoming meetings with Polaris and a few other import companies, so I worked late. The sun had started to set, and I only had on one lamp. It didn't surprise me to see a fucking moth circling the bulb-some things never changed.

Suddenly, there was a flurry of activity at my door. My babydoll ran into my arms. A million things went through my head, the main one being a hope that our son was safe. I rubbed her back as she clung to me like a frightened child.

"What the fuck happened?" I asked, looking up at Felix.

"We have a situation."

"It's Bree. She was in her class. The guard followed her to the bathroom, but she never came out. They found her purse and phone in the stall. She's…she's been taken, Edward," Bella wailed, her whole body trembling.

"Oh god."

Riley stomped into the room and threw a card on my desk. I picked it up, reeling when I saw the Russian bear with a sword in its mouth. It was his family's emblem. I remembered James had had actual bear heads all over his fortress.

"My Uncles took Bree! They want to force me to marry the girl they picked. I failed her," he sobbed, his legs giving out. Felix helped him up and lugged him over to the couch.

My babydoll backed away from me and ran to him. He buried his face in her neck and cried like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. "We'll get her back," she promised.

"Bree is my sister, and I won't rest until she's home. Get yourself together, Riley. It's time to fuck some shit up."

Jane came to take Bella home while I went over details with Riley and gave my family a call. Esme and Carlisle were sick with worry. Maggie had already called Liam begging for help, so he'd sent out his top enforcers from Boston. First the Sicilians, and now the Russians again, who would be next? Bree had helped keep my babydoll and son alive when I couldn't—I would fight a war before I lost her to the goons.

* * *

_They fucked with the wrong men. Edward is a nightmare when he goes on the warpath and I'm betting Riley will go all out, too. Will you miss Gina? Should Giles and Bella do the deed? Leave me a review with your thoughts or questions. I'll be with the Stoli. *Huggles*_


	19. Chapter 18: He Won't Go

**_A/N: _**_Sorry for the long delay. Thanks to everyone that has kept this story on alert or left me awesome reviews. I read them all and try to answer as many of you as I can. This chapter will make some angry and some happy. You can never please everyone :) Please see the blog for songs, pics, and other info. Type LAMTAF in Google (I'm first result) or follow the link on my **Profile** page. _**  
**

_Special shoutout to **MzS** who is celebrating a birthday this weekend.  
_

* * *

**Some say I'll be better without you  
But they don't know you like I do  
Or at least the sides I thought I knew  
I can't beg this time  
It drags on as I lose my mind  
Reminded by things I find  
Like notes and clothes you left behind  
Wake me up, wake me up when all is done  
I won't rise until this battle's won  
My dignity's become undone  
But I won't go  
I can't do it on my own  
If this ain't love, then what is?  
I'm willing to take the risk**

He Won't Go-Adele

_**BPOV**_

"Look at all your cute little fingers and toes. I can't believe it's almost been a year since you came into my life. I didn't know I could be so full of love," I said to Dante, smiling as he laid his chubby hand on my cheek.

"Ma ma, cookie?" he asked, batting those long lashes which were so much like Edward's. Cookie was my little lamb's new favorite word.

"You have me in the palm of your greedy little hands," I confessed, kissing his round tummy.

After I put on his jammies, we went downstairs to raid the kitchen. Edward had insisted the stairs were too tiring for me in my pregnant state, so I was using the home elevator more to keep the peace. I felt really spoiled and lazy but also pleased we could afford to have nice things.

When we got to the kitchen, Hilda was wiping down the counters. "You two are just in time. There's a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies straight out of the cooker."

Dante's cheeks flushed upon hearing his favorite food. "Hi, cookie," he said, waving happily.

Hilda smiled brightly at his pet name for her. "He's getting more charming every day. Why don't you hand him to me so that you can fix yourself a bowl of pasta?" I passed him over and began serving myself.

Carlisle had been able to definitely confirm twins, but it would be another two and a half weeks before we knew the sex; however, I was still confident they were girls because of my vivid dreams. I also had no doubt it was twins because I'd been eating like a cow.

My little lamb squealed in delight as Hilda put him in his high chair, setting a plate of small cookies on his tray. As usual, he drooled and played with his snack until it was a soppy mess, though, it was nice to see at least some of it made it into his mouth.

"How are you feeling, dear?" Hilda asked. "Mr. Cullen has asked me to keep a close eye on you while he's gone."

I stuffed another fork of delicious tortellini primavera with chicken into my mouth before replying. "I just want Bree home. Dante and I wouldn't be alive without her love and courage. I just wish I could do something, you know?"

Hilda fussed over me for a bit. "Pish posh, dear. She would not want you wasting away from worry or feeling guilty about things you cannot control."

"I guess you're right—all of this stress can't be good for the girls," I admitted, lightly stroking my expanding stomach.

Later, Dante and I watched and played on the Ipad until he got sleepy. I sang to him, keeping my voice calm. Soon he was out for the night, his little body curled against mine. I slowly drifted to sleep thinking of Edward.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

I woke up in a cold sweat after having another nightmare about James. Dante was no longer by my side, so I immediately panicked. I was just about to call the emergency number when I heard Edward's voice across the room.

"So that's how I learned to play football," he whispered, while rocking our baby boy in his capable arms.

"When did you get home?" I asked, my voice raspy from sleep.

My husband looked over at me and smirked. "About an hour ago. I leaned down to give you both a kiss, and _mi figlio_ opened his eyes. Then I changed his wet diaper."

"Thanks," I said sincerely. "You should have woken me up, though. You must be exhausted."

He shrugged and laid Dante in his baby bed. I'd had Felix move it into our room because all the Bree and Russian Mafia stuff was bringing up bad memories. Having my little lamb close just made me feel better.

After Dante was settled, Edward went to take a quick shower. He returned wearing black boxer trunks and a white tee. I watched him carefully as he crawled into bed. My body had been craving him since we'd messed around on the yacht, but I felt we both needed to keep things somewhat platonic for the time being.

"Come here," he demanded, holding his hand out to me.

I crawled over and placed my head on his broad chest. "Was Dante crying? I didn't even hear him."

"Nah, he was just whining a little. I didn't want to wake you up, babydoll."

Sighing contentedly, I inhaled his scent letting the familiarity of it sooth my troubled mind. "Is Bree still okay? Riley?"

Edward running his thick fingers through my hair had almost lulled me to sleep. "Bree is being kept on a boat. They couldn't risk taking her by airplane because we have that shit on lockdown. We're just waiting for the exact location. The ones twho planned this are running scared. Riley is out for blood, and he's a fucking monster. He's been gathering information."

I yawned. "I've been so worried, but I trust you to bring her home safely. At least we know she's not being harmed, right?"

"Yeah, the fucking video feed Riley insisted be set up was a good idea. His uncles are trying to stay on his good side but still force him to marry some bitch he doesn't know or love. He's already killed four _Bratva_ for their deceit."

Edward's coarse hands began rubbing my inner thigh lazily. My vibrators had been getting a lot of attention the last few days, but it wasn't what I really wanted in the long run. It was taking all my willpower not to just beg him to fuck me silly.

"So," I said, my voice cracking, "are you okay?"

"I would be more okay if I was inside of your pussy," he murmured, flicking his thumb over my lace covered clit.

I moaned like a bitch in heat. "We shouldn't… Dante is in the room."

"He can't hear or see us. Give in, babydoll."

While I was fighting an internal war, Edward began pulling off my boy shorts. Then he removed my camisole, growling deep in his throat as he ran his hands up and down my sides. The slow burn which always came when we started our foreplay began to scorch my insides.

Feeling bold and sexy, I pulled him back up to me and captured his lips. His mouth tasted sweet and spicy at the same time. Pretty soon, we were rolling across the pure cotton sateen sheets, getting lost in each other. I was bare, but Edward still held himself back.

"Take those off," I said, pointing at the black fabric covering his glory.

He sobered up quickly. "Bella, I won't be able to stop myself. Are you sure this is what you want?"

I bit my lip, unsure of the answer. "Um, I think so."

Edward shook his head and pulled away from me. "Not good enough. Let's just get some sleep. I have to leave early in the morning."

"We can still…" 

"No, babydoll. The next time I make love to you it will be because we are _both_ on the same fucking page. I want all of you, not just half."

I rolled away from him and closed my eyes. "You're probably getting it from somewhere else anyway."

"What did you fucking say?"

"You heard me."

Edward easily flipped and maneuvered my body so I ended up across his lap. When I was settled, he began massaging my lower back, occasionally letting his fingertips touch the swell of my ass.

"So beautiful but so goddamn mean. I'm being faithful to you. Why can't you cut me some fucking slack?".

"Spank me," I begged, using the babyish voice he loved.

He muttered, "Fuck," several times. "You're killing my sorry ass, babydoll."

At first he was only just tapping me, but then he built up the intensity. I reached down and started playing with myself. The blows were always followed by a massage, turning me into a puddle of goo. I came two times before he completely stopped.

While he tried to regain his composure, I got up and went to the bathroom to wash up. When I got back, Edward was laying on his back, staring up at the ceiling. I put my underwear on before joining him. For a long time, neither one of us said anything. It was so quiet I could hear Dante snoring lightly in his baby bed on the other side of our large room.

Edward stood up, pillow in hand. "Goodnight, babydoll. I think it's best if I sleep in one of the guest rooms tonight. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Night," I whispered before he closed the door. We were in the same home, yet still so distant.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

Riley and Edward kept their word and brought Bree home. She was more annoyed than anything, but we were all glad to have her back in the fold. We were also surprised to learn she had gone willingly with her kidnappers. They had been sending her text messages before it happened.

"I had to protect you," Bree said adamantly, looking at Riley. "They told me the girl's father had threatened to kill you if you didn't marry her. I am sorry."

Riley hugged her close, his hand caressing her cheek indulgently. "I would rather be dead than live without you. No one is ever going to take you away from me again. As soon as you're ready, we're getting married. I don't give a fuck what the _Bratva _want me to do."

Bree was beaming with joy. "I love you, Riley."

A few minutes later, Carlisle had to clear his throat to bring them out of their love bubble, because they were practically dry humping in front of the family. I glanced over at Edward, but he was staring at the floor seemingly deep in thought.

"How did you get out of the bathroom without the guard seeing you?" I asked, my writer's brain eager to hear more of the story.

She sighed. "I was told to leave my things and go out window. I am sorry I made everyone worry."

We all assured Bree she'd done nothing wrong. After our talk, it was time for dinner. Esme and Di had prepared a Russian feast. The dining room had even been decorated with amber and gold leaf to remind Bree of her homeland.

My little lamb and Sasha were set up in their high chairs. Both babies loved to be the center of attention and knew just how to make us cater to their every whim, though Sasha had an advantage with the men.

"She's fucking cute as hell. I can't wait until my little babydolls are here." I heard Edward say as Garrett showed off his little angel.

Kate touched my shoulder. "He seems like he's doing much better," she said, gesturing to Edward. "How are things between you two?"

I shrugged. "Strained and awkward mostly. I am proud of the way he's stepping up his daddy responsibilities, though."

She chuckled. "He's beginning to look like a natural. I never thought I'd see it. When I first met him, I really thought that he was one of Satan's henchmen."

"That's not far from my first impression of him," I admitted, remembering how intimidating Edward had seemed behind the huge desk. "He's changed so much, but it's just hard to believe he's for real this time."

Kate nodded. "Just…trust your heart. I know it sounds corny but that's what helped me realize Garrett and I could have a future. Sometimes the biggest questions have the simplest answers."

Throughout dessert, I pondered what she'd said—maybe I was over thinking my relationship with Edward. I mean, we both still loved each other and wanted to raise our kids together. Plus we'd been working hard on our issues in counseling.

_He fucks other women and lies all the time. _Obviously my heart and my head were not on the same page.

Edward called my name, drawing me out of my inner musings. "I need to talk to you. Let's take a walk outside."

I checked on my little lamb, who was in Carlisle's lap playing with the stethoscope. "He'll be fine," Carlisle promised, ticking his grandson's feet.

I put on a light jacket, and then Edward led me out onto the deck. I felt queasy as my mind conjured up all kinds of awful things he might confess to me. There was just no way our little family could survive another meltdown or suicide attempt.

"What's this about?" I asked hesitantly.

He exhaled loudly. "I want you to cancel the book tour."

:"Why? Am I in danger?"

"No, it's just… The other day I went to kiss you before I left on the Bree mission and you… you mumbled that basic fuckers name in your sleep. Are you really planning to fuck him?"

I felt all the blood leave my face. "Go to hell, Edward."

Snarling, he grabbed my upper arm. "Tell me the time and place so I can be there with my fucking SIG. He fucks you and I kill him, _Capisce_?"

"Maybe I want to know what it's like to make love to a guy who hasn't fucked half of the population of the world! You have some nerve acting like this after all the things you've done to destroy our marriage," I said, struggling until he released me.

"I've already sent him a warning. He knows what will happen to him if he touches you. His dick wouldn't even be inside your pussy before I blew his motherfucking brains out. Trust me; I know every move you and he make. Don't betray me, babydoll."

I laughed until my stomach hurt. "You can't honestly be serious. I caught you post coital in a hotel room with a prostitute, yet now you have the nerve to demand I stay loyal to you? We are separated, in case you forgot that tidbit of information."

"My word is law. Fuck him and he's dead," Edward threatened, daring me to argue more.

I rolled my eyes and began walking towards the door. When I looked back, Edward was staring out into the lush greenery. He had his hand in his jacket, probably palming his precious gun. I knew his threat was real, but he had no right to try and put me in a box.

Later, the kids played while the adults talked. Everyone seemed to notice the tension between Edward and I so we were kept apart. Thankfully Jasper was in rare form, cracking jokes and conjuring up his old southern twang. His buffoonery helped ease my foul mood.

Alice, who loved his cowboy side, was in heaven. "Damn, Jazzy, that was so hot!"

Emmett chuckled at her enthusiasm. "Remember when you used to tell me you wanted to marry a guy with an Irish accent?" he asked her. "Well, you failed."

Rose huffed. "Don't feel bad, Ali. I always said I wanted to marry a smart man and look what I ended up with."

Emmett feigned hurt, earning a kiss from his lovely wife. "At least I'm hot," he quipped, winking at me.

"What about you, Bella? What was your dream man when you were young?"

"I just wanted a simple man that would love me above all others and be faithful." I admitted, locking eyes with Edward who was listening from across the room. "I obviously failed spectacularly."

Caius wrapped his arm around my waist and led me away from the others. "Please, _fiorellino, _try to be civil."

"It was the truth," I mumbled, shrugging my shoulders.

I yawned as he helped me sit on the couch next to Bree. Dante, who was in her lap, cooed softly, playing with her angel wing necklace while she talked to him. Sasha was in Riley's lap, pulling his hair while he pretended to be in excruciating pain.

"Weee, cookie?" my little lamb asked, his emerald eyes working their magic on Bree.

I kissed the top of his head, making a mental note to give him a haircut before his party. "Stop begging for sugar, you little cookie monster."

Bree laughed. "It is okay. Sasha does the same thing all the time since she learn the word 'cake'."

Right on cue, the little girl turned around and asked me for cake. Bree and Riley smiled while Dante tried to repeat Sasha. My little lamb was always trying to keep up with his best friend, but she was older than him; therefore further along in her development.

A few minutes later, Esme and Di cornered me. "We've decided Dante's birthday party is a chance to do something good, so Edward and I are going to open up the mansion and invite our favorite Seattle children's charities. We also plan to have a private formal dinner which will just be for the family. All of the invitees have confirmed. The children are very excited. I'm estimating there will be around three hundred guests, parents included," Esme informed me, looking at her phone.

Di smiled brightly, her dark eyes sparkling. "Our _piccolo _is getting a grand celebration. I can't believe it's been a year since he was born."

"Time goes by so fast. Pretty soon he'll be a man and won't need me," I acknowledged, sniffling as the tears fell.

Esme rubbed my back. "Don't cry, sweetie. He'll always need his mother. Besides, you have two more coming along in a few months."

With the _nonnas_ planning, it looked like my little lamb's birthday was going to be the social event of the summer. They'd arranged everything from real animals to huge bouncy houses which would be set up on our front lawn. I was a little intimidated by their party planning skills but also grateful that I didn't have to do it all alone.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

After I invited Giles in for a nightcap, things progressed quickly. We went to my bedroom, stripping along the way. I practically purred like Onyx when the hairs on his chest brushed against my bare breasts.

"Make love to me," I begged, wrapping my legs around his waist.

"Of course, babe."

Giles laid me down on the bed and began stroking my stomach. I spread my legs wide, giving him easy access to my secrets. He winked before lowering his head and sucking my swollen clit into his mouth.

"Oh god," I cried out, already insane from the pleasure.

Fortunately, Giles got right down to it and helped me mount him. His cock was thick and uncircumcised, which I found incredibly sexy. He tried to put on a condom but I stilled his hand.

"All natural, please," I said, licking his top lip.

A few seconds later, he was inside of me. I placed my hands on his chest and began riding him hard. He reached up and played with my engorged breasts. I was so hot it didn't take long for the first orgasm to knock me senseless.

"You're so bloody beautiful when you come!" he shouted, his fingers digging into my gyrating hips.

Suddenly, a chill went down my spine. I eyeballed Edward as he took off his clothes and climbed into bed with us. Giles, seemingly unfazed, kept up his thrusting rhythm. Edward used lube to open up my rosebud before inserting himself inch by glorious inch. I screamed out like a banshee, drunk on the rapturous pleasure of being double penetrated by two well-endowed men

"Fuck, babydoll, you're so fucking tight like this," Edward murmured, grunting as his sweat mixed with mine.

"Fuck me harder! Ungh! Giles… Edward… I'm coming!"

They both sped up their movements, each with a hand on a breast and a finger on my nub. I kissed Giles then angled my head back so I could also kiss Edward. We were moving so rapidly I feared the bed would break.

I felt cold steel being rubbed up and down the crease of my breasts. Ignoring it I kept my eyes closed, figuring it was a ring or something. Then I heard a loud pop and my hands became coated in something thick and sticky—blood.

"I told you I would kill the motherfucker, babydoll. At least he got to experience your pussy one time before he died," Edward whispered, biting down on my earlobe.

Frightened beyond belief, I looked down to see half of Giles' head was missing. His uncut cock was still inside of me! I tried to climb off but Edward held me in place, his cock abusing my rosebud as his hands squeezed my breasts painfully.

"I fucking told you. I fucking told you. I fucking told you," he chanted, plunging into me at a demonic speed.

Despite my fear, I had no choice but to let Edward fuck me in Giles' blood. Eventually, he flipped me over and reclaimed my pussy. I stared at Giles' dead body while Edward powerfully pounded my aching core. After Edward came, the cold steel was placed at my temple and I joined Giles in the eternal slumber.

**_~ ~LAMTAF~~_**

"Are you okay, Bella?" Angela asked, checking my eyes for distress.

I blushed and glanced over at Giles who was gathering our room key cards. We were in Tacoma for the book tour. Yesterday had been Spokane, which had gone even better than I'd expected. Between Angela's management and Giles' business sense, the whole thing was running like a well-oiled machine. Of course, Jane was also staying with me for security as well as a few other men who were stationed around the premises.

The Hotel Murano was beautiful, its walls covered in contemporary art. A few men checked Ang and I out as we passed, but Giles dutifully moved us along. I wasn't allowed to carry anything except my lightweight Macbook and my purse.

My room turned out to be a beautiful suite on the top floor with a sitting area and attached kitchenette. Jane told me she'd already been advised to fill the fridge with my favorites from home. I smiled when I saw the brand new jars of Nutella and marshmallow fluff.

Since my threesome nightmare, I'd been avoiding being alone with Giles; however, he'd insisted we all go out to dinner to unwind before tomorrow's event. I was reluctant at first but since Angela and Ben would both be there, I agreed to give it a try.

Jane walked around securing locks and checking windows while I called to check up on my little lamb. Jasper and Alice had been thrilled to get him for a few days, but they were both still learning. Plus I was slightly overprotective and loved hearing the sound of Dante's voice.

Later, I ran a bath in the Jacuzzi and added all my favorite scents. Then I put my Ipod in the speaker dock, swiveling my hips seductively as a slow jazz melody began to play. I sang along quietly as the smells of vanilla and jasmine permeated the air.

While in the tub, I played with my waterproof vibrator. Moaning, I pinched my nipples and pretended Edward's cock was between my legs. Mid pump, I was momentarily shocked when the fantasy man became Giles, just as he'd been in the nightmare before the gruesome ending. Was it really possible I wanted them both at the same time?

_I'm a slut._

After the bath, I slipped into a red La Perla short silk robe and went to raid the refrigerator. I was just dipping my spoon in a fresh jar of Nutella when I heard the door open.

"I tried to stop him, but you know what he's like," Jane said, rolling her big blue eyes dramatically.

"Who?"

Edward stomped in like a bull getting ready to mate. The full grown beard covering his face along with his overly bright eyes gave him an intensely feral quality. I was so stunned I dropped my spoon.

"Get out," he barked, pointing at Jane.

"Bella?" she asked, waiting for my permission.

"It's okay."

Once she left, I walked across the room and got in Edward's face. He was completely eye-fucking me, and it didn't take long for the bulge in his pants to become obscene.

"You're disgusting," I yelled, trying to cover myself up.

He licked his lips, smirking like he owned the world. "You love it, babydoll. Come here."

I narrowed my eyes and turned around. "Giles and I are going out for dinner to celebrate the signing. Now if you could please..."

Suddenly, I heard the sound of glass shattering. Before I could process what was happening, Edward had me down on the couch, his body covering mine.

"You think that bland fucker can give you what you want? Well you're wrong, Bella!" His body trembled as he yelled in my face.

"He already gave me what I wanted, and it was damn good! You're not the only cock in this city."

Edward stood up and screamed. I watched in horror as he broke art frames and shredded pillows with his fingernails. I knew that it would probably be best to call Jane, but I had my own pent up aggression issues to deal with at the moment.

"Fine! You want to get mad because I've ridden another man's cock, then I can get mad that you stuck your dick up _several _women's asses," I screeched, throwing couch cushions and papers around the room.

He stopped abruptly. "How could you? When the fuck did it happen, while I was looking for Bree? He'll be dead before the end of the night."

"You want to know the truth? I haven't done anything with Giles or anyone else. I've been loyal to you since the day we met but making me the bad guy seems to help you feel better about yourself, so go right ahead, Edward!"

Scowling, I marched into the room and put on my evening wear—a sleeveless midnight blue cocktail dress. I'd gotten my hair cut at a salon in Spokane, so it only came to my shoulders. Edward hadn't even commented on it or noticed the change in my appearance. After adding red lipstick and eyeliner, I returned to the living room where Jane was helping Edward clean up the mess.

I slipped on my shawl and Louboutin heels. "Jane, order whatever you like under the account."

"Babydoll," Edward murmured, his eyes widening when he saw my outfit.

I kept my back to him. "I want you gone by the time I get back to the room. I deserve to have a few days to work on my career without you acting like a child. In case you forgot, you impregnated me. Getting stressed out is a detriment to my health and the health of these babies."

A bodyguard dressed in a black suit was waiting. "Ma'am," he greeted, holding the door open for me.

"Thank you," I said politely as if nothing was wrong.

Edward walked towards me. "Have a good night, babydoll. I love your new hairdo, and you look fantastic. I'm sorry about all of this," he said sincerely, gesturing at the broken things.

"You're always sorry."

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

"All I'm saying is the literary awards' bodies are out of touch with the readers. Most of the books that receive prizes struggle with sales," Giles argued, his dark blue eyes twinkling in the candlelight.

"But it's not about how many people buy it, it's about telling the story that's inside of you," I said, giggling when Angela gave me the thumbs up sign from across the table.

Giles raised his wine goblet in a toast. "Ahhh, you're so wonderfully unspoiled, my dear Swan. I'm the business, you're the heart. It's as it should be."

Angela was tired. Since she had to get up earlier than us, Ben took her back to the hotel room. Giles and I stayed to continue our debate and eat dessert. It had been fun talking to him, because we had so many similar interests. Ever so often, he'd let his fingers graze my knuckles or lean towards me while I talked about the joy of writing.

"I like this cut on you, love. It makes your eyes look even grander," he declared, playing with a loose strand of my hair.

"Giles…"

He held up his hands. "You can't fault me for being enamored by a beautiful woman during a candlelit dinner. Why do you continue to fight this attraction? We could be something really great."

I swallowed a spoonful of decadent sour cherry compote with chocolate sauce before answering. "I'm pregnant with twins. Then there's Edward…"

Giles kissed the inside of my wrist, his lips lush and soft. "I already told you I would wait. You're obviously unhappy with your husband, or you wouldn't even be entertaining the thought, love."

"You should find someone else. I'm broken," I whimpered, pulling away.

He cupped my chin, gazing at my lips for a minute. "I've wanted to kiss you since the moment we met. I can't stop the way I feel about you, Bella. Please, give me a chance."

"I can't…"

Almost half an hour later, we returned to the hotel lobby. Giles had taken a taxi to the restaurant, but I'd insisted he join me in my chauffeured Lincoln after he paid for dinner. The ride over had been quiet, but he'd held my hand the entire time.

"Well," I said, not sure how to end the night." I had a great time."

"Can I at least accompany you to your room? My mum raised me to be a gentleman." I nodded.

My bodyguard got into the elevator with us, his eagle eyes never leaving Giles. "You okay, ma'am?"

I smiled. "I'm perfectly fine. Giles is just going to see me to my room. You can take a break if you'd like."

When we got to my door, the guard checked to make sure Jane was inside before leaving Giles and I alone in the hallway. I grimaced when I heard him mutter something which sounded like, "dead man walking."

"I don't think he likes me very much, do you?" Giles asked, making a joke out of the situation.

"He works for my husband, so that's a negative."

We stood shuffling our feet, neither of us wanting to leave the other. For once, I decided to throw caution to the wind. I placed my hand on the back of his neck and pulled him down for a searing kiss. In the beginning he was too shocked to participate, but soon his hands were on my hips.

Giles' tongue was sweet, less harsh than Edward's demanding mouth. My publisher had no problem with letting me lead. I was the one to push him against the wall as he slid his hands lower until they cupped my buttocks. I groaned into his mouth, pressing myself into him wantonly.

"Good god, Bella," he muttered, finally coming up for air.

I stepped back. "Wow. I don't know what came over me."

Giles leaned forward and kissed my cheeks. "As much as I'd love to shag you senseless, I know you aren't ready. I'll see you tomorrow at the signing. Sweet dreams, love."

I felt like I was in a trance as I watched him get into the elevator and head back to his suite. I'd really kissed Giles—it wasn't a dream! As I stood there, I kept waiting for the guilt to come but it never did.

Suddenly, I heard a noise. I looked down the hallway and almost fainted when I saw Edward holding a large gift basket and a bouquet of tulips. He was fuming, practically vibrating with rage. I lowered my head, not ready to face him after what he'd probably just seen me do with Giles.

"Don't touch him. It was all me. We are legally separated, which means I'm allowed to see other people and so are you."

Edward dropped everything he was holding, his hands instantly going to his hair. "I fucking hate you, Bella! Does this make you feel better, huh? You're using him to get back at me and you know it! Two fucking wrongs don't make a right."

Jane opened the door. "Everything alright out here?"

"It's fine," I answered, catching my husband's eye. "Edward was just leaving."

* * *

_Some of you are probably hating Babydoll right now but she's in a no fucks given mood right now. Giles finally made his move but do you think Edward is really gonna let this go? I still have some surprises up my sleeve. Show me love and you'll get the next chapter sooner than you think. I'll be with the Stoli. Huggles._


	20. Chapter 19: In My Veins

**_A/N:_**_Thanks for all the lovely reviews from last time. I read them all. Once again I would like to remind everyone that authors on this website share stories for free. It's okay not to like something or to give constructive criticism but hate speech and bullying doesn't benefit any of us.  
_

_Please visit my **BLOG** for songs, pictures, and information. Link is on my Profile page or google LAMTAF. Original story is on the blog under chapters._

_There will be roughly 35-40 chapters of LAMTAF 2. I've plotted out the story and have an ending in mind. No, I'm not sharing. _

_Shout out to my twitter darlings who keep me motivated._

* * *

**Nothing goes as planned.  
Everything will break.  
People say goodbye.  
In their own special way.  
All that you rely on  
And all that you can fake  
Will leave you in the morning  
But find you in the day  
Oh you're in my veins  
And I cannot get you out  
Oh you're all I taste  
At night inside of my mouth  
Oh you run away  
Cause I am not what you found  
Oh you're in my veins  
And I cannot get you out.**

In My Veins-Andrew Belle

_**EPOV**_

Three-thirty in the morning while most people slept, I was pounding the shit out of an Everlast punching bag. For two nights, I'd been unable to sleep as I remembered Bella kissing the basic motherfucker right in my goddamn face. She hadn't shown that kind of passion for me in ages.

"I'm going to fucking kill him!" I screamed, imagining the bag was Atwood's smug face.

Growing up I'd had lessons in traditional boxing, but Edward Sr. had also taught me the art of street brawling. I knew how to fight dirty and fucking knock an asshole out with the first punch. If my babydoll wanted to protect her new fuck buddy, then I planned to call his ass out in the ring.

Soon my body was too tired to continue. I sat down on the mat and drank a small bottle of Scotch I'd snatched from the hotel. I drank it down in one big gulp, loving the warmth it instantly provided. Why the fuck should I try so hard if my babydoll didn't fucking want me anymore?

Earlier in the day, Dr. Uley had given me some advice to cope with the new shit. He told me my testosterone levels were high, which meant I was at risk for a manic episode. I had fucking ignored him and spent the whole session brooding.

"She's probably sucking his cock right now. I told you not to put all your eggs in one basket," my dad said from the corner of the gym.

I closed my eyes. "You're not really here. Fuck off! Besides, you don't know a goddamn thing about keeping a marriage together."

He chuckled. "Well, your _madre _never divorced me."

"Probably because she knew your stupid ass would bite the bullet sooner or later. I love Bella, and she fucking loves me, too. Get out of my fucking head!" I yelled, putting my hands over my ears.

Thankfully, when I peeked again he was gone. Sighing, I grabbed a towel and headed to the kitchen. Once there, I took out a huge bottle of Evian and drank greedily. I also reheated up some leftovers so the food would soak up the remaining alcohol in my system. Drinking had been a dumbass move-I had to stay alert just in case Bella or the kids needed my sorry ass.

After gulping down grilled steak, salad, and a baked potato, I was ready to fucking pass out. I put everything in the dishwasher and went upstairs.

The Penthouse was lonely and cold without _mi famiglia_. My sheets still smelled like Bella from the last time she and Dante had slept over. I picked up the pillow she'd used and inhaled deeply. Seeing her nightgown on a nearby chair caused an ache in my chest so painful I momentarily lost my fucking equilibrium.

"Mine," I growled, picturing Giles dead at my feet.

Exhausted, I shuffled into the bathroom and ran a hot shower. Instead of visions of Bella's hot little mouth sucking my cock, I saw her and Giles fucking under the water as I watched obsessively. I punched the hard granite wall, tears streaming down my face and blood coating my knuckles.

"How could you, babydoll?" I asked as the vision became more realistic.

She looked back at me. "How could _you_? I wasn't the one who started this, Edward. At least now you know how it feels to be betrayed by the person you love."

I reached out, but of course there was nothing there—my fucking mind was playing tricks on me again. Scowling, I dried off and put on some pajama pants. A little niggling voice in my head told me to go out and find a coke dealer, but I ignored it.

After climbing back into bed, I took out my Ipad and pulled up the photos I'd taken of Bella on the yacht. She was so fucking sexy with the long hair, but I also liked her new haircut. I closed my eyes and wished she was in bed with me, giggling while I gave her hickeys like back in the old days.

"Fuck it," I said, turning off my lamp. "She doesn't love me anymore."

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

I watched Bella's ass sway as she crossed the room to greet Rose and Emmett. We were all dressed up for DC's formal birthday party. Mom and the ladies had gone all out, combining Greek and Italian menus to make a feast fit for a king or little prince.

_Mi figlio_ glowed with happiness as Di fed him a small piece of cannoli. "Italian through and through," she sang, wiping his slobbery mouth.

Chara smirked. "He's Greek, too. Let's see how he likes my homemade baklava."

"He likes nana's butterscotch brownies best of all," Esme called out from somewhere in the room.

My son blew spit bubbles and said, "Cookie," which made everyone laugh.

He was obviously having a good time in the sugar shop, so I decided to mingle. I glanced at my sister who had been fucking smothering me lately. Fortunately my cousins had come from Athens for the festivities, so I bypassed Ali and walked straight over to them.

"Hey, old man. I'm surprised you're not in the walker yet," Isaac teased, sipping on his glass of champagne.

I flipped him off. "Keep giving me lip and I'll put you in a walker, fucker."

Achilles elbowed his brother. "Burn! You know you'd never beat him in a fight."

Sebastian nodded. "True. Edward is a fucking cheater, and he fights like something possessed."

I clutched my chest, pretending to be offended. "Stop maligning my reputation, good sir."

Laughing, we went outside to smoke a couple of cigars. It was nice to shoot the shit and catch up with all the latest gossip from Athens. Since Paulo was getting older, it was time for my cousins to take over more responsibilities. They were being groomed to do what I'd been doing for years.

"So, any of you losers fucked a pussy yet?" I asked, making a crude hand gesture.

Achilles actually fucking blushed. "Uh, Maggie is here tonight. We've been talking on the regular. I want to ask her out, but Demetri won't let me get close."

"I'll deal with him."

Isaac chewed on an olive from his martini glass. "I've fucked plenty of women, but none of them have kept my interest. They're all the same in the end, right?"

"No," I said, looking down at my Tungsten ring. "Some of them are fucking special."

"She's still got you pussy-whipped, man. You need to move on." If we hadn't been at my son's birthday party, I would have punched Sebastian for his comment.

"You don't know a motherfucking thing. We're always going to be connected because of the kids. She's the only woman I ever loved, not that you assholes would know anything about real love," I snarled, suddenly not in the mood to socialize.

"Speaking of women…" Isaac mumbled, staring at someone behind me.

Rose had joined us. She looked good in a sparkly black, one-shouldered designer dress with a high slit. My smiled widened as I took in the way Sebastian stared at my sister-in-law. It was obvious that if Em wasn't in the picture, my cousin would be making his move.

"Hey, I just need to talk to Edward for a few minutes. There's some hot appetizers in the dining room if you're hungry," Rose informed them, her tone of voice leaving no room for argument.

They all greeted her in heavily-accented Greek, something which got them a lot of American pussy, before heading inside the house. Sebastian's eyes never strayed far from Rose's tits. Once they were gone, the atmosphere changed. I knew the conversation would be about my babydoll.

"What's going on?" I asked. My voice sounded gruff and miserable even to my own ears.

She sighed. "She told us about kissing Giles. Honestly, Edward, I'm not really surprised. Bella's self-worth took a major hit when you cheated."

I hung my head in shame. "Fuck…I know. I try to make shit better, but she shuts me down. What can I do?"

"Work harder!" she snapped, eyes blazing. "Do you want Giles to replace you in her life? Treat this like one of your Mafia wars."

I laughed. "You want me to fucking kill him? Believe me, I would do it in a heartbeat…but Bella would hate me even more."

Rose looked at me like I was the village idiot. "I just mean you have to study him—see what gets under his skin. I don't trust the man. He's making a major move on Bella while she's pregnant and vulnerable—something just doesn't add up. I don't want my sister to get hurt again."

My heart rate practically tripled. "I've had him investigated, but I'll dig deeper. I don't want my angel's heart broken again."

Rose nodded. "You can also try to make Bella remember why she fell in love with you. Charm her like you used to do back in the day. Make her feel wanted and special. Show an interest in her daily life."

"I thought I was already doing all this shit, but everything turns into an argument. How can I be there for her if she won't let me? She's never gonna forgive my sorry ass for destroying our marriage," I admitted, a lone tear leaking from my eye.

"Don't give up. I know she loves you, but it's hard. Plus pregnancy makes all women a little crazy. She's lost right now and needs your support. Keep on her," Rose advised, her face going soft.

I smirked. "I never thought I'd see the day where you were on _my _side. My brother is a lucky man to have such a smart and beautiful wife."

Rose rolled her eyes. "Use that charm on Bella, not me. Emmett knows he's lucky, and if he ever fucked me over I would cut off his dick and feed it to a wolf."

I pictured what she's said and shuddered. "Uh, I fucking regret the cheating shit more than you know. So, you never went out on Em?"

She slapped my shoulder. "Of course not! He's been it for me since the day I gave him an oil change. We almost destroyed his Jeep on the first date."

"TMI, Rose. That shit is gonna give me nightmares."

She chuckled. "Serves you right. You and Bella practically eye-fuck every time you're within walking distance of each other. She says she hates you, but I still see her staring at your crotch the minute you walk into a room."

"Really?" I asked hopefully.

"Don't get too excited. Maybe Bella is just really horny. I know I was the last time I was pregnant."

I tugged on my hair. "Fuck! Then why won't she let me touch her? I'm going insane thinking of her body and wondering what she wants to do with Giles."

She pulled something up on her Iphone before holding it out to me. "I snapped that picture of her before I came out here. What do you see? "

I looked closely, my eyes narrowing slightly. "She has dark circles under her eyes. The smile she's giving is just pasted on her face, there's no feeling behind it."

"Exactly. Alice has seen it, too. Bella has been quiet and reserved since she got back. If Giles was really the man she wanted, she would look happier. Maybe she's just using him to rile you up," Rose said.

I sighed, staring at the photograph. "She's so fucking beautiful. Sometimes, I just wish I could take her and DC away to the island where we can be alone in our own little world. I ruined us…her. She'll never truly forgive me. "

I didn't even know I was crying again until Rose patted my hands. "Those tears are exactly why I'm helping you. I know you messed up, but you love them. Edward, you were a loser when she found you, but you changed for them. I want my nephew and future nieces to grow up in the best family possible. Real love doesn't come around every day."

"I know," I murmured, taking out a monogrammed handkerchief. "I do love them. I was a walking disaster, Rose. I'm still a fucking mess, but I'm trying harder than ever before. I want to be the man… she deserves."

"It's getting chilly out here. Let's go inside and celebrate your son's birthday. Em is probably looking for me. Just call me anytime you need to talk."

Feeling much better, I followed Rose to the family room. My earlier thoughts and feelings were no longer accurate, because my wife was vulnerable and in a bad place. Rose had helped me believe it was possible Bella didn't want to fuck Giles. It was also highly likely she was simply lost, probably scared out of her mind about the possibility of me destroying us again.

"Thanks for the talk, Rose. I'm glad you're my sister," I whispered before we reached Emmett and the boys.

She smiled. "Family is just like marriage—for better or worse. Keep your nose clean, Edward."

"I will."

The rest of the night's festivities included gift giving, diaper changes, family photos, dancing, and a huge fucking amount of food. DC sat in my lap for most of it, his little black tuxedo a copy of my own. Bella happily told the story about the night of his birth before we cut his special birthday cookie cake.

"Luh, da da!" my son said, the little slobbery mouth giving me his version of a kiss.

I used my thumb to caress his soft cheek. "I love you, too, Dante."

Bella reached over, touching his curly head. "Mommy loves you, little lamb."

He blew a spit bubble and screamed, "Luh, ma ma!"

My babydoll and I smiled at each other as Esme made us lean in for a picture. I was so distracted I didn't notice Bella's hand was on my knee until she squeezed lightly. I stared deep into her beautiful eyes and whispered, "I could never hate you."

**_~~LAMTAF ~~_**

"So Senator Cullen, can you tell us why you decided to turn your son's first birthday into a charitable event?" the reporter asked enthusiastically, his pearly whites almost blinding me.

I leaned forward, making sure the camera caught my best angle. "My wife and I believe it's important to give back to our community. As you know…"

For the next few minutes, I blathered on about the various charities and_ legal_ business we had throughout Seattle and Washington State. The constituenc_y _already knew I owned HADES, but to the outside world it was just a regular nightclub.

I didn't have to do it all alone. Esme's natural grace and compassion made her a favorite with reporters. Additionally, Carlisle's position on the hospital board kept the newspaper media enthralled. Bella and I ended up doing three joint interviews in which we came off as the same young, successful happily married couple the voters had fallen in love with during the last election.

"I'm glad that's over," Bella confessed, taking a seat next to me in the living room. "My face is sore from smiling so much."

I gently kissed her cheek, marveling at the smoothness. "You were perfect, babydoll. I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do after the divorce—voters don't want to elect a single man to the Senate."

"What if we just keep our divorce private? Surely you have enough money and influence…"

"I do, but what if someone sees you out with Atwood? We'll have a huge scandal on our hands. I'm afraid it has to be made public." I kept my voice neutral to avoid a huge argument.

She looked up at me, her small hand cupping my bearded jaw. "What I did… I just wanted to feel desirable. Giles and I… I'm not ready to date and stuff."

"I _desire_ you." I hissed. "I want you all the time. I fucking love you!"

She shook her head and backed away. "Don't lie to me, Edward. I get that you're jealous…but that doesn't mean you want me—you just don't want Giles to have me."

"Now you're putting words in my fucking mouth, Bella."

"There you guys are," Alice squealed, coming between us. "This party is so much fun. I've already eaten two whole bags of cotton candy. Jazzy is showing Dante the tree kangaroo. It's so adorable!"

I glared at my meddling sister. "Why are you here?"

"Don't be rude," Bella chastised, linking arms with Alice. "Why don't we go join the fun?"

Sighing, I followed them outside. A few people stopped me to talk or share stories of their kid's first birthdays. Some of the children we passed were in wheelchairs or had surgery scars. We were really lucky our son was healthy and developing normally.

When we got to the animal area, one of the handlers was bending down to show Sasha a bald eagle. Jasper led DC to our area, my son ignoring us and toddling over to stand beside his little girlfriend. They were cute as fuck and speaking baby gibberish to the large bird.

Garrett came to stand next to me. "Damn you, Edward Cullen. How am I ever going to outdo this party? Sasha had to be practically dragged off of the baby elephant."

I smirked. "I'll hook you up with my friend at the zoo. If I remember right, you and Riley weren't exactly conservative when it came to Sasha's first birthday."

"Don't remind me. I'll never live down the picture you took of me wearing the pink tutu. Kate still shows that shit to people at work."

I slapped him on the back. "Soon I'll have daughters, and I'm pretty-fucking-sure I will end up doing all kinds of embarrassing shit, too. I can't wait."

The outdoor party was a huge success—not only were we able to raise a lot of money for disabled and less fortunate children, but we were also setting a good example for DC. I wanted _mi figio_ to have the best but not be spoiled by it.

I smiled as I watched Bella and DC jump in the large bouncy house together. He had a paper crown on his head which wouldn't stay straight because of his wild hair. Bella's cheeks were rosy, and she looked genuinely happy.

Angela touched my shoulder as she passed. "Don't worry, I'm taking photos of everything. It's kind of a hobby of mine," she said, holding up a fancy digital camera.

"Thanks. You and Ben enjoy yourselves."

Later, Carlisle introduced me to one of his fellow surgeons. The man and his wife had a small son with Down Syndrome. The boy giggled loudly as I introduced myself. Carlisle's friend clearly loved his son, and I knew I'd be the same way if DC or my little babydolls had developmental issues.

I joined my family on the lawn where _The Lion King 3D_ was showing on a huge projection screen. I sat down on a soft colorful blanket and grinned smugly when DC crawled into my lap. My babydoll caressed her baby bump absentmindedly as the movie started and more families set up blankets.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked, watching her lick her lips.

"I'm just happy. We're so lucky to have him. I can't believe it's been a year."

I looked down at our beautiful baby. He was oblivious to the conversation as he drank organic apple juice from a green sippy cup. My mind wandered back to the past when I'd thought he and Bella were dead. They were the most precious gifts I'd ever received, and yet I had abandoned them. _Never again._

My babydoll had dressed DC in a yellow and white short-sleeved polo shirt and Levi jean shorts. She had on pink floral shorts, a white tank, and a yellow cardigan. I was wearing the adult version of DC's shirt and khaki shorts. We looked like a family on a poster for the American dream.

Colin and Brady pointed out things to DC while Emmett made roaring noises which made my son giggle like mad. Rose and Bella were deep in conversation, occasionally looking my way. Bree and Riley, who were seated behind us, cuddled with baby Sasha.

"Where are Kate and Garrett?" I asked, searching for our missing friends.

Riley laughed. "Probably in the house ruining one of your guest bedrooms. They needed some alone time."

"We have to pry the baby out of Garrett's arms. Kate was so happy," Bree said, her cheeks reddening.

I nodded, staring at my little sister. Bree had lied about her kidnapping, but I had no idea how to approach her. Riley was extremely overprotective, so the least little upset could make him hate my ass for life. I trusted Bree wholeheartedly, and I knew she had to have had a good reason for what she'd done. I planned to get to the bottom of it in the next few days.

Almost an hour later, I excused myself to go piss. Dante whined until I promised him I would be back quickly with a treat. Rose gave me the bitch brow because I actually used the word "piss" in front of the kids. Bella just stared at me like I was a motherfucking alien.

On my way to the house, I saw Alice doing cartwheels with some older kids while Jasper cheered for her on the sidelines. Poor fucker wouldn't be sleeping for days with my sister on a sugar high. Next, I saw Jake mean mugging some poor fucker who had been tasked to put a mic on Leah's jacket. I smirked as I passed his hulking form. Then I waved at my parents and godparents who were all sitting on the deck talking and drinking wine.

I did my business in the restroom and washed up thoroughly, making sure to spray a little cologne on my body. One day I would be teaching my son good hygiene and shit. While I preened in the mirror, someone knocked on the door.

"Who the fuck is it? Guest bathrooms are downstairs." I really hoped it wasn't some kid.

"It's me. Can I come in?" _Bella_.

I almost broke my fucking wrist in my haste to open the goddamn door. My babydoll stood on the other side, shuffling her feet and looking at the floor. My brain went straight to my cock as it throbbed painfully.

"What's wrong? DC okay?"

She nodded, her small hands reaching up to play with the collar of my shirt. "Can we?"

"Can we what, babydoll?"

"Fool around," she whispered, pressing her lushness against my hardness.

I swallowed thickly. "You have the worst goddamned timing. We're at our son's birthday party!"

She fucking giggled. "Later after we put him to bed. You can, um, spend the night."

"What brought this on?" I didn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth…but damn.

She shrugged. "I'm restless… I keep having these sex dreams. I just want to lose myself for a night."

I gently removed her hands. "I'm not going to fuck you because you're horny for another man. If you're still hung up on Atwood, this can't happen. In fact, I don't want to fuck you at all."

"Oh, okay," she said, trying to step away from me.

I leaned down and kissed her upturned nose. "I want to make love to you, babydoll. When my cock is buried in your sweet pussy, you better not be thinking of another man, _Capisce_?

"Why are you so jealous? I kissed Giles, but you fucked several women. Besides, legally we're separated so…"

"You," I snarled, "are mine for life! Yeah I fucked up, but it'll never happen again. I'm getting help for my shit."

She huffed loudly. "Spare me, Edward. All I'm proposing is two willing adults scratch an itch. I'm not naive enough to believe you'll be faithful to me in the long run. You were nice last time I was pregnant, and then you fucked me over. Quit pretending to be a choir boy just because you're in therapy."

Though I felt like punching the goddamn wall, I took a deep breath and counted to ten. "I don't want to fight. Let's go finish the movie and eat some cake."

My babydoll began taking off her clothes. I stood as still as a statue as her little shorts and tank dropped to the ground. The bra and panties came next leaving her gloriously bare. It was then I noticed something was different.

"Why?" I asked, pointing at the hairless mound.

She laid back on the bed and spread her legs. "I wanted something different. Come here."

"Bare pussy," I mumbled, shaking my head.

"Plenty of other men prefer it… Giles probably does."

I fucking pounced. She tried to roll away from me, but I caught her by the ankle. We wrestled like animals. I was much bigger, so it only took me a little while to pin her wild ass under me. By that time, she was spitting nails.

"Don't act like you've been celibate, Edward. You'll fuck anything. I'm not putting out, so you're getting it from someone else. Just admit it."

"The only thing on my dick these days is my goddamned hand," I spat.

"Yeah right."

"Go play your mind games with Atwood. I don't need this shit! Do you realize how ridiculous you're being? You're a mother, not a teenage girl. Pull it together!"

She smiled mischievously, lifting her short hair off her neck. "I'm going to ride Giles next week when we go to L.A. Maybe I'll give him my ass, record us fucking, and send it to you."

"You better pick him out a nice goddamned casket before you open your thighs, Isabella. I will kill the motherfucker and hide you away for the rest of this pregnancy! Don't underestimate me," I warned, venom in my voice.

"Big bad Mafia boss," she snickered. "You're so _bad _that you spend months every year locked away in a padded cell at the nuthouse."

"What the hell is the matter with you? I'm the bipolar one, but you're having all the mood swings. Fuck! I'm going back to spend time with DC. Try to calm your ass down," I muttered, completely disgusted with her behavior.

"None of it is real, you know? Love, marriage, trust, and honor are all just lies written in books. People just fuck other people over because they feel like it."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing," she whispered. "Just go away. Tell Rose I'll be down in a few minutes."

"When you're ready to talk, I'll be ready to listen," I told her before exiting the room. We were so fucked up.

Around six, we cut the cake and cupcakes. Bella's eyes were lifeless, but she put on a happy smile for our son. We had to help him blow out his one huge candle because all he could do was drool. Photos were taken, and then gift bags given to all the children. When it was all tallied, we found out that we'd raised over one million dollars for the charities.

"_Auguri a mio figlio!_ This is the first of many more years to come," I said, kissing DC's cheeks.

"Yay, da da!" was my reply. At least something in my world was going well.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

"Your testosterone levels are very high. Have you had a manic episode or any visions?" Dr. Crowley asked as he made notes on his Ipad.

Dr. Uley had shared my lab results, so we were all talking via teleconference in Uley's office. I felt like a fucking lab rat, but drug testing and checkups were part of my recovery regimen. I'd even had to confess to the little bottle of Scotch I'd stolen from Bella's hotel minibar.

"Only the one I told you about before. I'm, uh, having wet dreams and shit. They're pretty vivid."

"Bella still not talking to you?" Uley asked sympathetically. Every man understood being in the doghouse.

"Nope. She's never around when I go see DC, and she doesn't stay with us when he spends the night with me. I can't get through to her and keep my sanity," I confessed awkwardly.

"It can't be easy for her," Crowley said, interrupting. "She is a twenty-five-year-old woman who has been through suicide attempts and drug addiction with you. Plus she's about to become a mother of three."

"Fuck," I groaned.

"Fuck indeed. Remember what we talked about when you were here? The road isn't going to be easy or paved in gold, Edward. Talk to your wife and get to the bottom of her issues. Sometimes, the best way to help yourself is to help someone else." Crowley was a deep motherfucker.

Uley nodded his head. "He's right. I am proud of you for managing your anger, though."

"Well…" I told them about destroying Bella's hotel room.

"At least you didn't kill him," Crowley said, chuckling. "I know men in your position who have murdered for a lot less."

"I want to kill his horny ass. I imagine it daily, but she'll really hate me if I do."

The rest of the session was spent going over my meds. My body handled the Lithium well, but there were always new drugs and Crowley wanted me to have the most options. After that, I told them about DC's birthday parties while they commended my efforts at becoming a better father.

By noon, I was on my way to Kate's clinic where Dante was having his first dental exam and fluoride treatment. Bella brushed his teeth daily, but Kate had recommended it since he had so many teeth and ate solid foods.

Bella, Jane, and DC were just coming out when I pulled into the parking lot. A woman in the next car over openly ogled my ass before heading inside the building. I was wearing motorcycle attire—designer button fly jeans, Gucci leather jacket, and Timberland shitkickers.

"Dante!" I called, smiling like a fucking maniac when he ran to me. "I see you got a cookie, so I guess that means you were good."

He buried his head in my neck and giggled. "Da da."

Bella looked sexy as hell in black denim shorts, a tight red graphic tee, and leather boots, but it was way too much skin to be showing in public. I saw it in her eyes—she was fucking testing me.

"Jane, take DC to mom's house. Stay with them. We'll be there to pick him up around three."

My wife frowned, the bright sun making the cluster of freckles around her nose visible. "The fuck? I'm not going anywhere with you."

"Fuh…Fuh… ma ma." Honestly, I was surprised "fuck" hadn't been his first word.

I almost bust a gut laughing. "You were always on me. Now look, you turned out to be the real bad influence."

Bella jogged over and kissed the top of his head. "I'm sorry, little lamb. Say fun instead. Fuh-un."

_Mi figlio_ tried but quickly became bored with the effort. Jane just stared at Bella and me like we were something out of _The Twilight Zone_. I looked down and winced when I noticed Bella's shirt didn't even cover her small baby bump.

"Get on the bike," I ordered, handing DC's wriggling body to Jane.

"You can't give me orders anymore, Mr. Cullen," Bella sneered, hands on hips.

I passed her a black helmet. "Don't test me today. I will pull your shorts down and spank your ass right in this goddamned lot."

Something in my face must have told her I wasn't bluffing, because she climbed on the bike. Jane honked as she passed, our most prized possession in the backseat happily sucking on his thumb and waving.

It was kind of windy, so I helped Bella into my jacket. "I don't why the hell you left the house in this outfit that barely covers your private parts."

"Where are you taking me?" she asked grumpily, wrapping her arms around my waist.

"The docks. We'll discuss it when we get there."

Since it was a rare sunny day, I took the long way to our destination. Bella held on to me tightly, her hard little nipples pressing into my back. When we reached a red light, her hand drifted lower until it stopped on my crotch.

"You'll pay for that later," I warned, patting her bare thigh.

Once we arrived, I parked and led Bella to one of our large cargo ships. She wanted to stop and look at cranes and shit, but I took her hand and dragged her along. Fortunately, my jacket covered more of her ass than the shorts she had worn, but a few motherfuckers still eye-fucked my wife.

A flinty-eyed guard with a Croatian tattoos on his hands guided us down a set of stairs. I kept my arm around Bella's waist so she wouldn't get scared. The particular vessel we were on belonged to Riley's clan. The Italians may have been beastly, but the fucking Eastern Europeans were ratchet as fuck.

"What's going on here?" Bella asked worriedly when she saw Bree at the interrogation table.

Riley appeared out of the shadows. "It's alright, Bella. We need to ask Bree some questions. I thought it would be easier if you were here."

My wife nodded and went to sit next to our little sister. Truthfully, Riley and I hated to do this shit, but we had a code. I'd grown up hearing stories about Mafioso that had to execute their wives and children for betrayal.

Riley lit a cigarette and sat at the far end of the table, his hands trembling badly. "Bree, you lied to us."

She began sobbing while Bella rocked her gently. "I cannot tell you!" she screamed, her voice full of anguish.

"Can't we do this a different way? She's scared. Please," my wife begged pitifully.

Riley took a long drag of his cig and pulled out a folder. "This," he said, holding up a picture, "is you talking to one of my uncle's henchmen in the university library."

Bree cried harder. "I cannot tell you!"

I held up another photo. "Here you are talking to the same man outside Bella's bookstore. Are you a snitch, Bree?"

Bella stood up and pounded her hand on the table. "She would never… Have you forgotten Bree helped save me and Dante's lives? This is sick! How dare you…"

"This is protocol, Bella. I have to do it this way or else Bree will have to go before a council. There are people watching us right now. I had to pull a lot of strings to get you a seat here. Please, you know I would never hurt her," Riley whispered.

Bree looked up, her eyes red-rimmed from all the tears. "You will hate me if I tell you."

"Never," Riley promised.

"I was not raped in James' house, but other things were done. He had a house guest once who liked to play with me…"

Bella wrapped her arms around Bree. "Why didn't you talk to me?"

"I was ashamed," Bree admitted sadly.

"Tell us what happened," I said, coaxing her gently.

Riley hung his head. "Please, Bree."

"I never took drugs, not even when mama sold me. I see what it did to the people in my old village. Mothers became crazed demons willing to sell their children. Fathers die in the street fighting turf war. Well…this man tied me up and stuck a needle in my vein. It feel good when I was high, but when I came down I just wanted to die."

"Fuck!" Riley screamed.

I placed my hand on his shoulder. "Let her finish."

"He let other men touch my body while I was naked," Bree murmured, squeezing Bella's hand. "Never penetration, but they ejaculated on me. He took video and pictures—sometimes I was smiling and encouraging them, but it was the poison.

"When James returned from America, he was very upset. He saw me as slave for his cooking and cleaning, but this other man wanted to sell me for my virginity. James slit his throat on the balcony and made me clean it up. He said… he said I was his property, and the other man had to die for trying to steal me."

I understood Bree's story more than most. Drugs, especially heroin, made the user a completely different person. She was not at fault for anything that had happened to her, but I knew she would always carry the scars.

"How old were you?" I asked gently.

"Fifteen. Truly I did not really remember any of it until the man approached me at school. I used to read the Bible and beg for forgiveness every single day, and I thought… I guess I blocked the memories."

Bella wiped Bree's face with a Kleenex. "Shhh, you did nothing wrong. We all still love you."

"It was fucking blackmail, wasn't it?"

She glanced at me and nodded. "He said he would tell Riley I was whore. If the drug parts are taken out, it looks like I am happy with the men touching me."

Riley switched seats with Bella, his big arms engulfing Bree's small frame. "Fear and shame are powerful motivators. I'm so sorry, Bree."

"I went out the restroom window on my own. A car was waiting. They said if I went along with it and got you to talk to them, then they would destroy all the videos and pictures. I was scared, Riley!"

He hugged her. "They will pay for this, sweetheart. You are the most important person in my life. Nothing you can ever tell me will make me hate you, but I need your honestly and loyalty from here on out, okay? We can get through anything together."

"I love you," Bree whispered, kissing his jaw.

We all hugged Bree and assured her \our feelings towards her had not changed. Riley also encouraged her to share her past with Esme and Carlisle; they were her legal guardians and loved her like their own.

"Do you want join us for lunch?" Bella asked, her infectious smile calming the atmosphere in the room.

"Rain check. I want to take her home and relax. She needs to rest," Riley answered.

"We will see you later. Kiss Dante for me." Bree looked much happier post confession.

My babydoll stayed close to me as we left the cargo ship. Then I helped her get situated before taking off in the direction of Discovery Park. We needed to have some private time of our own to work out some shit, and I knew she loved the outdoors.

We stopped a nearby greasy spoon to pick up lunch. I waited patiently while Bella went to the bathroom. A few fuckers had already looked at her ass, and my anger management techniques were not working. _Mine_!

Once we got to the park, I spread a blanket out under a secluded tree and unpacked everything. My babydoll was ravenous and began eating her onion rings almost immediately. I smiled and prepared her burger the way she liked it.

"Thanks for this, Edward. It's a nice day for a picnic. Esme texted me about an hour ago—they have the boys out in the pool."

I chuckled. "Good, that ought to tire DC's little hyper butt out."

My babydoll blushed prettily, her tongue peeking out of mouth. "Why are you being so nice to me?" she asked.

I sighed. "You weren't just my lover and wife, babydoll, you were also my best friend. I miss you. I'm tired of the arguments and sniping. The thing you said at DC's birthday party about love and honor…you were talking about Philip Dwyer and your mom, right?"

She tensed up. "How did you know?"

"Marcus told me, but he said I should get the whole story from you."

"Um, Mr. Dwyer contacted me through Angela. I don't want to talk about it."

I scooted closer to Bella and maneuvered us so her back against my chest. She was reluctant in the beginning but soon relaxed in my embrace. I lowered my hand and softly rubbed her small bump, hoping my touch gave them all some peace.

"Let it out, Bella," I said encouraginly, kissing her neck.

She sniffled and put her hand over mine. "He and my mom were having an affair. She chose Dad and me over him, but he…he got mad. He said the night she died, she had been going to meet him. He'd threatened to tell Charlie everything if she didn't show up."

"Marcus said Dwyer wants to see you—some kind of absolution bullshit," I muttered angrily. I would fuck him up if he planned to hurt Bella.

Despite the heat and leather jacket keeping her warm, Bella began to shiver. "I always imagined my parents on a beach together for eternity. I've been so naive! They were my model for true love, Edward. No wonder I couldn't make our marriage work—my whole ideal of love and devotion just doesn't exist."

I wiped her eyes, cradling her in my arms. "You didn't mess up our marriage, babydoll. I have demons, demons I should have fought before I met you. If it wasn't for your love, I'd probably be a fucking corpse. Dante and these little babydolls," I said, patting her stomach, "wouldn't exist. Whatever happened between your parents... their love created you and you are very special. _Te amo_."

"Charlie and Jasper knew," she whimpered. "Phil tried to see me when I turned sixteen, but Dad threatened him. Jasper keyed Phil's truck. They never told me anything. I deserved to know the truth!"

I turned her around, my cock waking up when she straddled me. "Your father loved you with his whole heart. Jasper loves you, too. You lost your mom at a young age—any more heartache might have done irreversible damage."

"I wish I had more memories of her," Bella said wistfully. "Phil says he has photos of mom and I at the park. They used to meet there, because he coached boys soccer."

"If you do decide to see Dwyer, I will be with you. The Volturi are checking his records to make sure it's safe. There's no pressure, babydoll," I assured her.

"Now," I said authoritatively, "we need to discuss Atwood. No one in the family trusts the fucker, and our instincts are usually right. I don't want you alone with him."

She pouted. "He's my friend."

I scoffed. "So he says. Look what happened to Bree. There are a lot of people who would hurt you and our children just to get to the Family. If we don't stay loyal to each other, it'll all come crumbling down and bury us in the ashes. This isn't just me acting out of jealousy. I need to keep you safe at all costs."

"Well," she said, biting on her lower lip. "He's been saying he needs to go to London. I can suggest Angela and I handle the rest of the book tour, okay? I'm just really confused about my feelings towards him. I don't have experience with any man but you."

I gripped her hips, bringing her even closer. "I want it to stay that way. I know I sound like a fucking hypocrite after my fucking mess, but you're different. I don't… I can't keep you on a leash, not that I really want to, but don't just sleep with him because you're mad at me."

"It was just a kiss, Edward," she whispered.

I lifted her chin. "But you want more…with him?"

"It's complicated," she confessed honestly. "I just like spending time with Giles, but I can't shake the deep feelings I have for you. I just know I don't really want to have sex with him."

I groaned. "You don't know how fucking happy that makes me, babydoll."

"We might still get divorced, Edward. I can't say for sure I will ever fully trust you again or be able to remain in this marriage. But, I will work harder at being your friend instead of a raving bitch. I've been horrible, and I'm sorry."

I digested her words, sending a silent prayer to any god that would listen to let me keep my wife. "I deserved it, Bella."

She stroked my jaw quietly. We were so close I could see the gold flecks in her eyes. I could tell she was fucking horny, but I wasn't going to take the lead. Although I really wanted to get laid, I felt it was more important for us to take it slow.

"You look different with a beard."

"How so?"

"Older…maybe more macho. I bet the soft hairs would feel good between my thighs," she whispered, rolling her hips.

"Fuck, babydoll! We're in a public park with children around. You're gonna make me bust a nut in my goddamned pants."

She giggled loudly. "Shut up and kiss me."

I pushed her head away. "Uh-uh, not until you do something about that onion breath."

"I'm so going to make you for pay for that," she squealed, attacking me with her lips.

Before long I was on top of her, my leg between her thighs. She threaded her fingers through my hair while I kissed her passionately. My tongue was everywhere, erasing the memory of Atwood. My angel moaned and lowered her hands to my ass.

I was just about to take off Bella's tee when a throat cleared behind us. "Uh, excuse me, ma'am, sir, our grand kids are right over there. Maybe you two can try to keep it G-rated."

I sat up and glared at the elderly man. He looked slightly afraid, so I softened my features. Bella started in on one of her nervous laughing fits which rendered her useless. She could barely manage to fix her shirt and button her shorts.

"Sorry, sir. We just got carried away."

The older man smiled. "I hated to interrupt, but you know kids are very impressionable. And the wife made me come over."

After discarding our trash and folding the blankets, I carried Miss Giggles to the parking lot. She laughed so much and so hard she immediately had to use the bathroom again. I felt fantastic, because my babydoll still loved me.

**_~~LAMTAF~~_**

"This place is gorgeous. I never want to leave," Angela exclaimed, taking in the view from the Hollywood Hills mansion.

I smiled indulgently at her exuberance. "It's Marcus'. He actually won it in an underground poker game back when it was a mess. Mom and Di did all the interiors and supervised repairs."

Ben wrapped his arm around his wife's waist. "I expected to be in a hotel, but this is much better. Thanks for letting us stay here."

I shook his offered hand. "It's really no problem. The place is big enough to house a small town."

"I'm kind of glad we didn't bring Dante. This mansion is definitely not baby proof," Bella chimed in, entering the room.

I smirked. "You couldn't have gotten him out of Seattle anyway. Di, Esme, and Chara would have thrown a fit."

We had a late dinner with Ben and Angela before going to our bedroom. Bella's book signing was in two days, and it was going to be a packed event. Fortunately, Alice had picked out all of our outfits. Bella and I would also make an appearance at a fancy event with some local Mafioso while we were in Los Angeles.

Behind closed doors, my little vixen came out. She fondled, licked, and gyrated against me, but I refused to give her what she wanted which only made her worse. I hadn't touched Bella since the day in the park, and we were both suffering.

"Why won't you fuck me!" she yelled in frustration, her hands flailing wildly.

I raised her hand and kissed the palm. "I want to take you somewhere tonight. Wear that slinky blue dress. You don't need underwear."

An hour later, we pulled into an underground parking garage in West Hollywood. Bella hadn't asked any questions, but I could see the curiosity in her eyes. I jogged to her side, opening the door of the gold Maserati I'd chosen to drive for the night. My babydoll eagerly took my hand, staying close as we went up a set of stairs.

"SURRENDER?" she asked, reading the neon sign above the black double doors.

I grinned. "It's our newest club. I actually bought it in January, but it hasn't opened to the public yet."

"Oh, um, what kind of club is it?"

I led her inside, watching her face as she studied the décor. The downstairs had a full bar and buffet area. Unlike HADES there was no dance floor, but there were beds, couches, and cages throughout the space.

"It's going to be a swinger and fetish club. This is the public area, and there are special suites and areas upstairs. There are even locker rooms where patrons can shower and change. We're gonna make a fucking mint, babydoll. What do you think?"

She looked around. "A sex club?"

"Yeah, a consenting adult sex club. There are lots in WeHo, but none quite like SURRENDER."

Bella looked a little nervous. "Why are we here?"

"Babydoll," I said, pulling her into my arms. "I thought it would be fun for us to christen the place before opening. I would never bring you back here after it opens, but right now it's brand new. I had the rooms set up with things you like. There are lubes, oils, toys, and shit. You can play by yourself or include me—I really hope you include me."

At first I thought she wanted to leave, but then she smiled like a Cheshire cat. "Are there paddles?"

I cupped her ass, kneading the cheeks. "Hell yeah and other erotic discipline toys, too. I fucking know what you like."

"Costumes? Can we dress up?"

"You are trying to kill my sorry ass, aren't you?"

She giggled. "I just want to know my options."

"Are you already wet?" I asked, nibbling on her earlobe.

"If we… If I… I just want to make sure you're okay with using condoms. It would make me feel better, Edward."

I fucking hated that she didn't trust me, but I understood. "Of course, babydoll. This is a safe zone. If you don't want something, say it. I'm not gonna force you to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable."

My babydoll raised her arms. "Why are we still talking then? Take off my dress, and get down on your knees."

I may not have obeyed the law, but I certainly obeyed my gorgeous wife. Bella was a mother, but she was also still a young woman exploring her sexuality. While in SURRENDER, I vowed to show her a good time and help her relieve some stress.

* * *

_Tell me what you think. Review and we can pick up where we left off from Bella's point of view. Don't review and sweet baby Dante will think you don't like him. Don't be a meanie. I'll be with the Stoli. *Huggles*_


	21. Chapter 20: Million Dollar Man

**A/N:**_ The song is on my blog. Link on the Profile page. Thanks for your patience and kind words._

* * *

**You said I was the most exotic flower  
Holding me tight in our final hour  
I don't know how you convince them and get them, but  
I don't know what you do, it's unbelievable  
And I don't know how you get over, get over  
Someone as dangerous, tainted and flawed as you**_**  
**_**One for the money, and two for the show  
I love you honey, I'm ready, I'm ready to go  
How did you get that way? I don't know  
You're screwed up and brilliant,  
Look like a million dollar man,  
So why is my heart broke?  
You got the world but baby at what price?  
Something so strange, hard to define  
It isn't that hard boy to like you or love you  
I'd follow you down down down,  
You're unbelievable  
If you're going crazy just grab me and take me  
I'd follow you down down down, anywhere anywhere**

Million Dollar Man-Lana Del Rey

_**BPOV**_

Edward paced the room, his large body agitated. We'd been in the SURRENDER changing room for almost an hour, and he had yet to make a move. If it hadn't been for the tent in his pants, I would have thought he didn't want me.

"I shouldn't have brought you here, babydoll," he muttered angrily. "I keep fucking shit up."

I slipped on a black silk robe, the feel of the fabric making my skin tingle. "What's the matter? I want to be here with you, Edward. Talk to me," I begged, touching his shoulder.

He turned around slowly. "You're so goddamned beautiful."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I just," he mumbled, "I want you to know I'll never come here again with anyone. I swear I'll never cheat again or go back to that destructive lifestyle, babydoll. I need you so much, but I'm afraid if we do this you'll use it against me later. I was so sure before but now…"

I pressed my body against his, my head on his chest. "I can't say I believe you about the cheating, because I don't. Some people would say I'm a fool to even be here with you, but it's _my_ choice. I promise I won't throw it back in your face."

He started playing with my chin length hair while I listened to the soothing rhythm of his beating heart. We had so many issues to work out, but our attraction for one another was stronger than ever. Edward was the only man I'd let consume me, the only one who made me burn with desire.

"The last time I had sex was when we created our daughters," he said, placing his hand on my lower stomach. "I wasn't worthy that night either, but I'll never regret being with you in the moment. The darkness, the rain, the passion—it was so fucking perfect for us."

"Be with me now," I whispered, unbuckling his pants. "I need you, Edward."

He hesitated briefly, searching my eyes for permission. "This isn't just about me trying to get some pussy. I… I need to be close to you again."

I helped him put on a matching black robe before kissing his bearded jaw. "No more talking. I want to play."

Hand in hand, we walked down a long hallway. Each heavy black door we passed had a number written in gold lettering on the front. I was just about to ask Edward a question when we stopped in front of door number five.

"What's in there?" I asked, biting my lip nervously.

He grinned before turning the knob. On the other side of the door was an all white room with a strange-looking chair in the middle. I walked inside, Edward's warm hand on my lower waist.

"It's a Tantra chair, babydoll," he said huskily, backing away from me. "We can, uh, if you want..."

I bent over and touched the soft fabric. "I bet it'll feel great against my nipples."

Before I could articulate another thought, he was on me. It had been too long since I'd experienced Edward in all his glory. My whole body trembled as he roughly removed our clothing and pushed me down on the chair.

"Once we start this shit, I'm not stopping. You better be damn sure you want to proceed," he barked, sliding his hands over my ass.

"I told you I'm in."

Edward stood up causing me to whimper from the lost body heat. A few seconds later, I heard a button click and television screens appeared out of spaces in the wall— there must have been at least a dozen.

Suddenly, I heard sex noises and Edward's voice telling me to come for him.

"Remember when we did this?" He asked. "You were so damn horny that night."

I squeezed my thighs together as I watched Edward's thick cock slide into my rosebud. Anal sex always made me lose my mind, and my husband knew how to work my body perfectly. Seeing us on the screen only made me hornier.

"Now," I begged, glancing over at Edward's darkening eyes.

He chuckled. "Show me you want it."

Sighing, I poked my ass out and began playing with my clit. "Just do it already. I need to come!"

Instead of complying, Edward shook his head. My eyes narrowed when I saw him grab something from a nearby drawer. I was so wet my fingers kept slipping out of my core.

"Fine! I'll just finish myself off," I huffed, ignoring him.

_Thwack. _My mind registered the sound before the pleasure-pain. When I peeked over my shoulder I saw Edward's cock standing at full attention while he held a big leather paddle in his hand.

I felt his lips touch where he had just hit me. "You're such a spoiled brat, but I love you."

"No you don't!"

The next blow was much harder...so hard I had to bite down on the raised cushion. I knew the paddling would probably leave a mark but that knowledge just turned me on even more. I wanted Edward to mark me; I wanted the monster to show his face.

"Don't you ever say I don't love you, Bella! You're everything to me. I exist just to see you and our children smile. I loved you from the first moment I saw you, and I'll never stop."

I really hadn't planned anything more than a wild night of sex, and I didn't want our problems to ruin everything. "Okay, let's just not do this right now..."

The screaming in the videos got louder, drowning out my every thought. I wanted Edward as much as he wanted me. I was both disgusted and ecstatic at the realization there was a part of me which would always be his for the taking.

He smacked me twice more with the paddle before dropping it on the floor. Then his mouth and tongue were on my overheated and sore cheeks. I jumped when Edward began rimming me slowly, his finger testing the resistance.

"Promise me you'll never let another man touch you like this, babydoll. It would drive me insane," he mumbled.

I wanted to snap and say he'd touched other women in the same way, but the words died on my tongue. "You're already insane," I teased playfully.

Edward flipped me over and raised my legs over my head. His eyes were twinkling as he inserted a long and lubed up middle finger into my sphincter. My clit swelled with need. I was so close to creaming the Tantra chair.

"Touché."

"Ungh! Please!"

He laughed, his shoulders shaking with the effort. "You want me to fuck your little ass hard, don't you?"

I didn't have time to answer, because Edward buried his head in my pussy and went to town. The first orgasm curled my toes and made me see stars. The second and third orgasms rendered me helpless. I was screaming so loud I thought I'd lose my voice.

"Right there...right there," I chanted, using his hair as a guide.

Edward snarled. "That fucking hurts! You're going to make me go bald."

I giggled and panted loudly. "Bald men can be sexy."

When I opened my eyes again, Edward was hovering over me, staring at my face. I remained still while he buried his head in the crook of my neck and sniffed me. Then he kissed me on the lips. Knowing all my juices were still clinging to his lips, tongue, and beard caused my body to spasm.

"I love you," he whispered, licking me slowly. "You're so beautiful and passionate."

We continued to deep kiss until I felt Edward's cock throbbing against my entrance. I grabbed his meat, hoping to guide him home, but he stopped me. I was confused until I saw him reach down and pull out a condom.

"I know... I know you won't...not unless I use a fucking rubber..."

I blushed. "Oh, I almost forgot. You don't have to..."

He put his fingers over my lips. "You don't trust me, Bella-I can see it in your eyes. If using a Trojan is the only way to be with you, I'll gladly use one."

I nodded silently, watching Edward roll the prophylactic over his cock. He looked so sad and defeated. I loved going bareback with my husband, but that was before I found out about the cheating. Being pregnant meant I couldn't risk an STD or worse. He was right... I still didn't trust him at all.

I placed my hand over his heart. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I thought I could but..."

He grimaced. "It's okay. I didn't expect shit to get this far. We can leave or try out the other rooms. I know having sex with me must disgust you. I'm so fucking sorry."

"It's not that," I began, biting my lip. "I think I just need more time."

Edward kissed my forehead and turned away to get rid of the condom. When he returned, he picked me up and carried me to the door. I laid my head against his shoulder, gently sliding my fingertips through his scruffy beard.

"Good thing I'm a resourceful motherfucker. Let's go to the licking room. It has sweet lollipops and other shit you can put in your mouth."

I shivered. "Like what?"

He smirked. "What do you think?"

_Oh my_. "Just because I'm not ready for full-fledged sex doesn't mean I don't want to touch you, Edward. I still give mean head, and I love to swallow," I whispered, licking the shell of his ear.

_**~~LAMTAF2~~**_

"Remind me never to let Edward take you out the day before a book tour. You look positively wrecked," Angela complained while helping me into a pair of red heels.

I laughed. "Don't act like you and Ben haven't been fucking like bunnies since we've been here."

Angela hip-checked me. "Girl, we are living our dreams. I remember how many nights we stayed up thinking about what kind of men we'd marry."

"You did better than me in that area," I admitted.

She shook her head. "We both fell in love, Bella. Love isn't always roses and sunshine. I go through tings with Ben, too. You and Edward have something special."

"Then why did he cheat? I tried to be everything to him, Ang. I just feel so worthless sometimes."

Her eyes studied me carefully. "You know I don't condone what he did, but he was sick. I really have seen positive changes in him since he returned. Don't sacrifice your happiness by staying in the past."

I knew she was also talking about my other problem. "Did your parents ever say anything about Renee cheating on Charlie? Forks is so tiny and everyone knew each other's business..."

"I really don't think it was common knowledge. Do you know what you want to do about Phil? He seems pretty eager to meet you."

I thought about it and nodded my head. "I want to at least hear what he has to say. Edward has someone watching the guy and so far he checks out. I need closure, Ang."

An employee of the bookstore walked in the room smiling. "They're ready for you, Mrs. Cullen. You look great."

"Thanks," I said, smiling at the young woman. "Let's just hope my ankles don't swell up too much in these shoes."

The bookstore was packed with people of all genders and ages holding my book. I signed things while readers told me their personal love stories and asked about Vladimir and his family. For me, the best part of being a writer was knowing my words were affecting people.

Three hours later, I was ready to drop. The signing had been a complete success and brought the independent bookstore some good sales. I was talking to an elderly couple when I felt masculine hands encircle my waist.

"Pardon me, but I think my wife needs to go home and rest. She's expecting twins," Edward said in greeting, his voice like warm honey.

I quickly signed the couple's book and beamed as they congratulated us on the babies. I was so tired my husband had to hold me up. It had been a long two days, and I really just wanted to get home to Dante and my own bed.

"We still don't know if we're having twins," I muttered.

"I'm pretty fucking potent, babydoll. You're lucky it's not triplets this time."

Edward expertly dodged my elbow and led me to the back room. Then he bent down and helped me put on some comfortable slippers. I watched him kiss Angela's cheek as she waved us away, promising she could finish on her own with the help of the staff.

"I'm starving!" I exclaimed as Edward settled me into the passenger seat. "I could eat a horse."

He ran to the driver's side and slammed the door. "We have reservations at Patina. I invited Angela and Ben, but he told me they had other plans tonight. Is that okay?"

I was fine with Burger King, but Edward liked the finer things in life. "Sure," I said smiling. "I could go for something drenched in a rich sauce."

About half an hour later, a valet was taking Edward's car keys. My husband did his usual tough guy act and scared the guy shitless before leading me inside. There were well dressed people occupying every table. Thankfully, I was wearing an expensive designer sheath dress Alice had picked out for my tour.

"Right this way," the waiter said, leading us to a nice booth.

Edward sat on the same side as me, his arm slung around my shoulder. "My wife is pregnant," he said much too loudly, "so she can't have wine. We'll have Pellegrino with lemons and lots of ice. Put some organic berries in my wife's glass."

After the waiter left, Edward stood up. "I need to use the men's room. There are two guards in here watching you. Press the emergency number on your phone if anyone gives you shit."

I took out my phone and called Jasper while I waited. He and Alice had Dante for the night, and I just wanted to make sure my little lamb wasn't being a terror. Jas assured me everything was fine and let me hear Dante softly snoring in his bed.

When I looked up, I saw a tall blonde woman heading to the restroom. As I idly flipped through my phone messages, Edward returned. It seemed like he'd been gone longer than normal, and he seemed more relaxed than he had when we'd arrived. Less than a minute later, the blonde returned to her seat. I saw red as she looked our way and smiled.

"Did you fuck her, Edward?"

"What?"

Sighing, I pointed to the blonde. "She came out a little after you and..."

He pounded his fist on the table, making several people look our way. "I don't even fucking know that bitch. All I did in the men's room was take my meds and wash my fucking face."

I wanted to trust him but history was not on his side. "Please just be honest with me."

Edward glared at me, his eyes intense. "I'll get our food to go. I can't do this shit today."

Seconds later, the blonde walked across the room and stopped at the booth behind us. All the color drained from my face as I realized my mistake. Edward hadn't done anything wrong. He had every right to hate me.

"I'm sorry."

He growled. "That fucking hurt, babydoll. I'm trying so hard to make you love me again. I would never..."

The ride back to the mansion was quiet. Edward wouldn't look at me. I ate the fancy dinner alone while he went to do some laps in the pool. He returned an hour later and went straight to the shower. I tried to open the bathroom door, but it was locked.

I was almost finished with my dessert when he came out wearing a pair of low-slung pajama shorts and a white t-shirt. His beard was getting out of control, but he refused to shave. I was beginning to miss his smooth jaw.

"Do you want me to warm you up something to eat?" I asked tentatively.

He grunted a harsh "Goodnight," and laid down on the bed, his back facing me.

"I'm sorry," I repeated pathetically, wishing I could change the last few hours.

_**~~LAMTAF~~**_

"Are you going to do it before or after our little babydolls are born?" Edward asked as we stopped at a red light.

"What?"

"Divorce me. I know you're going to sign the fucking papers. We're too broken to make it work. Our marriage is basically over, isn't it?"

I nodded. "I wish things were different, Edward."

He removed his Aviators. "How long?"

"We can wait until the babies are a few months old, but I think we should have Jenks start the proceedings. No matter what, we'll always be friends and partners."

The rest of our drive was silent. We were headed to a Mafia dinner in honor of Edward being in town. The hosts were _Cosa Nostra_ who had always been friendly with the Volturi. I really didn't want to attend, but I felt like I owed Edward after the previous night's disastrous dinner.

When we were waiting at the entrance, Edward handed me a small gun. "Put this in your purse. We're not supposed to bring weapons, but I don't trust all these motherfuckers. Hide it under your prenatal vitamins. They barely fucking check the wives."

I quickly did as he said, shuddering when we were allowed through the iron gates. I knew my husband was dangerous, and his world was full of killers. Even after the divorce I would still remain a Mafia wife, meaning it was important for me to help keep my family safe.

The host turned out to be an older Italian man with a dark face and bushy eyebrows. He greeted Edward in a thick Italian brogue, his eyes occasionally flickering to me. Whatever my husband said must have pleased him greatly, because he laughed often and loudly.

"Such beauty," the man said, kissing the back of my hand. "In my day I would have lost my head over a woman like you."

I smiled politely. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Sir."

"Babydoll, why don't you go mingle with the wives while I talk shop. Dinner will be ready in half an hour," Edward said, dismissing me.

I quickly learned all the women weren't wives-there were just as many mistresses. When I talked about being pregnant, several old women speaking Italian tried to touch my stomach. I was able to catch a word here or there, grateful when I got a chance to escape to another sitting room. One other woman was seated in the corner, but I was prepared to ignore her.

"Want a bump?" she asked, her black and platinum blonde streaked coiffed hair distracting me as she held out a line of cocaine.

I shook my head. "Um, I don't do drugs. I'm pregnant and even if..."

She cut me off. "Hey, it takes the edge off. Being with these _goombahs _can make a girl lose her sanity, ya' know?"

Unfortunately, I did know all too well. The stress of the Mafia life had made Edward turn to hard drugs far too often. He was doing well, but I always worried he would relapse.

"Look, my husband can't be around that stuff. Go flush it down the toilet now."

She huffed. "Who are you to tell me what to do? I'm Vinny's mistress, and he will own this whole fucking operation one day!"

_Sure he will. _"Well I"m Edward Cullen's _wife_. I don't think my husband would like hearing about your rudeness."

After rolling her eyes, she left the room. One of our guards stayed at the door while I put my feet up. The woman never returned, and I was glad for the peace. Maybe Edward had been right about postponing the book tour until after the girls were born. I felt exhausted all the time.

I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew Edward was shaking my shoulder. "It's time for dinner, babydoll. You should have told me you were tired. Pietro would have given you a guest room."

The dinner was lavish and thoroughly Italian. Edward was in his element-Armani suits, expensive watches, and lots of cleavage. I caught one of the lower bosses staring at my chest and quickly adjusted the top of my dress. Strangely, Edward had insisted I wear it to the dinner.

"If he fucking looks at your tits again, I'm gonna jab this knife in his beady eyes," Edward whispered, placing his hand on my thigh.

"Why did you want me to wear this dress? It's barely covers my ass."

He chuckled humorlessly. "We're playing a part. You're doing a very good job."

I twirled my pasta, thinking over his words. "Am I playing a whore?"

"Only in my fantasies," Edward replied, his hand traveling higher up my leg.

Soon, Pietro's fifth young wife decided to engage me in conversation, which fortunately distracted me from Edward's wandering hands. If he kept up his exploration, I was going to need a cold shower and some toy time.

After dinner, we were taken to the garden for dessert. Edward held my hand as several men came up to talk to us. The Dons discussed shipments worth millions of dollars as if it were nothing. Bored, I looked away but I kept my purse close just in case we needed to make a quick escape.

Across the lawn, I saw the woman from earlier. She had dilated pupils and swayed as she talked. The guy next to her, whom I assumed was Vinny, looked to be at least twenty years older than her. He was openly flirting with other women while she clung to his arm.

"I don't trust that fat fuck," Edward muttered, glancing over at the same man. "He's gotten too damn greedy for his own good."

"His mistress was doing cocaine in the sitting room. I told her to flush it, but I don't think she did."

Edward's face paled. "Fuck! How dare she have that shit around you. I should tell Pietro to kick her the fuck out."

All of a sudden, we heard a loud pop. Edward tackled me to the ground, effectively using his body as a shield. The world seemed to go still before chaos consumed us. Somebody pulled my husband to his feet, and he in turn helped me stand.

"Get her out of here!" Edward yelled, shoving me into the arms of some goon. I protested, but the guy was much bigger and stronger. In less than five minutes I was being rushed back to our vacation mansion. Angela and Ben met me at the door. I felt like I was in a fog as I listened to them ask me various questions.

"Do you think she's in shock? Maybe we should take her to the doctor," Ben suggested, his kind eyes widening in horror.

"Bella, say something. Please, sweetie."

I began sobbing. "I need Edward. Where is he?"

Ben explained Edward was on his way. He'd called ahead to make sure they would be waiting for me. Angela helped me take off my dress and climb into bed. Between the late hour and stress of the night, sleep soon claimed me.

When I awakened, the blue tint of the television was the only light in the room. Edward was laying next to me, his fingers lazily stroking my slightly protruding stomach. He looked relieved when he saw me try to sit up.

"What happened?" I asked, my voice groggy with sleep.

He sighed. "Vinny's mistress shot him in the fucking head. It wasn't a Mafia thing, just a domestic matter. She tried to take her own life, but one of the _Cosa_ managed to wrestle the gun from her hands."

"Oh my god!"

"Yeah, she was fed up with his shit. He promised her the world, but he loved getting his dick wet. It's no great loss to Pietro's crew."

I cupped Edward's cheek. "Does it bring back bad memories from the day your father was killed? I can dial Doctor Crowley..."

He kissed my bare shoulder. "Not really. My only thought was about keeping you safe. All this shit means nothing if I lose my family. I don't want to be like the Vinnys of the world.

You know... If I'd never met you, his life could have easily been mine. I treated bitches...women like dirt. I didn't even love you the way you deserved."

"Edward," I murmured, taking off my sleep shirt. "Come here."

"I can't fucking take mind games right now, Bella. Don't start if if you can't finish."

I guided his mouth to my right breast, clutching the sheets as he suckled greedily. I'd been pumping the last few days, but I still had excess milk. I lightly scratched Edward's scalp while he suckled me quietly. It may have seemed strange to outsiders, but I knew it comforted him. Before long, I felt Edward's cock pressing against my thigh.

"Take off your clothes," I commanded.

He shrugged off his shorts, leaving him gloriously naked. Smiling, I pulled him on top of me and began helping him sink inch by inch into my center. It hurt a little, because I hadn't been wet enough, but after the first thrust the pain became bearable.

"Fuck, babydoll. No condom?"

I kissed his chin. "Not tonight. I need you to go slow. I have to get used to you again."

He grunted, his forehead drenched in sweat. I kept my legs locked tightly around his waist and dug my fingernails into his back. Edward and I hadn't been together without barriers since the night we conceived the girls, but our bodies were still perfectly in sync.

"Lube?"

I shook my head. "No, don't stop. I'm wet enough now."

Edward worked his hips like he was a last call stripper at Chippendales. I spasmed and came hard, gripping his cock. He thrust again and again, not wanting to end the slow torture. Pretty soon, I was riding a second wave. Edward pulled out, his hooded eyes on me as he squirted warm cum over my lower stomach and swollen clit.

He gave a mighty roar, before collapsing next to me. "That was fucking amazing, Bella."

The only sound heard in the room was our heavy breathing. I turned over to go to sleep, but Edward had other plans. He flipped me over and inserted his index finger in my mouth. I gazed at him lazily as he began stroking his semi hard-on.

"Again."

_Yes._

_**~~LAMTAF~~**_

Before we could even cross the threshold, Dante was in my arms. I cuddled my little lamb, breathing in his newest baby shampoo. He smelled like warm sunshine and pure innocence. I kissed his cherubic face all over, savoring the sweetness.

"Ma ma!"

Edward grabbed him from my arms. "What about me?"

Dante giggled, his eyes sparkling. "Da da."

Since all the members of the family had things going on, we spent a relaxing day in our house. Dante was having fun with his daddy, so I invited Edward to spend the night. There was still a lot of messed up stuff between us, but our little lamb came first.

Over the next few days, I had a doctor's appointment which confirmed I was having girl twins. Edward cried with joy while hugging the doctor. I thought it was a little freaky he'd known about the babies before the tests.

I'd promised myself not to lead Edward on anymore, but we continued to have lots and lots of sex. I forgot why I'd even considered using a condom. We didn't discuss the divorce or anything important; we just fucked.

After a particularly intense night, I pushed Edward away as he tried to mount me. "We need to talk."

He rolled over, taking me with him. "I know what you're going to say, Bella. The divorce doesn't matter. This," he pointed at our naked flesh, "will never be over."

I sat up. "We have to move on. It's not good for us to keep going down the same road."

Edward reached up and squeezed my breast. "We belong together forever. A goddamn

piece of paper won't change shit. I'll always be the only one pounding your sweet pussy and ass. You'll always be the one that owns me. I fucked up but never ever again. Stay with me, babydoll."

I whimpered, pulling away from him. "You broke my heart! I can't just pretend to..."

"To what? Love me?"

I got on my hands and knees, giving Edward permission to take my body. He lubed up his cock and slid into my rosebud. I met him thrust for thrust, my moans sounding more like a wounded animal than a human being. I wasn't even really aroused; I just wanted to numb my mind.

"It hurts." I whispered, startling Edward.

I was talking about my heart, but he pulled out slowly. I felt his eyes on me for a long time, then the closet door closed. When I turned around, he was getting dressed. I felt out of sorts and just plain tired.

"I abused you," he confessed. "I fucking put bruises on your body. I treated you like trash. I tried to control you. I broke your spirit. I threatened you. I almost..._raped_ you. My Mafia shit almost got you killed. Then, I fucking cheated on you. I haven't been a good husband.

"One day when our kids grow up they'll ask why we got divorced. I...I want you to tell them the truth, Bella. I want you to tell them I was a goddamned monster, and you couldn't stand to be with me anymore."

I felt tears falling down my cheeks before I registered that I was weeping. "You are good, Edward ...a good father. I...we still need you."

He walked to the door, defeat in his every step. "Sign the divorce papers. I set you free, Persephone. I always knew I wasn't strong enough, but you were definitely worth the fight."

* * *

_I wrote a smuttake of their time at Surrender. If anyone is interested I'll post it on Monday. Thanks for reading. Please review. _


	22. Chapter 21: Together Part 1

_**A/N:** Thanks for all the love last chapter. I didn't have time to reply, but I read them all. Please see my new update schedule on my Profile. I will be updating all my stories on those days from here on out. Also, visit my Blog to hear the song and see pictures for this chapter. You can also read the original story on the blog. Just google **LAMTAF** and I'm first result or see the link on my Profile page.  
_

_Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there. You are the best!_

* * *

**I know to be there  
When and where, I'll be there  
You know what's to be said  
We said out loud, we never said  
My ****p****remonition of the world comes to me  
A sun in your hands from the middle life  
Says I'm alright. You said you don't have to speak  
I can hear you  
I can't feel all the things you've ever felt before  
I said it's been a long time  
Since someone looked at me that way  
It's like you knew me  
And all the things I couldn't say  
Together, to be  
Together and be  
Together, to be  
Together and be  
Together, to be  
Together and be  
Together, to be**

Together-The xx

_**EPOV**_

I watched Dante out of the corner of my eye as I cracked eggs for a tomato and basil quiche. _Mi figlio_ was having an exciting morning playing his new loud-ass drum set from the comfort of his cushy playpen. I couldn't complain, though. I loved it when my babydoll and son slept over. Without them, the fucking Penthouse was lonely.

"Da da, dis!" he yelled, pointing at his mouth. It was his way of telling me he was hungry.

I smiled and began putting small pieces of prosciutto and Focaccia bread in his favorite bear bowl. Then, I poured some organic apple juice into his bottle-he still preferred the bottle over sippy cups.

"Here you go, _figlio_," I said, sitting the food down next to him. "You're fucking lucky I love you."

He picked up a piece of bread and tried to shove it in my mouth. After a few minutes of play time, I left him to eat in peace. Later, I planned to take him out with me. It was important for me to bond with him since I'd missed so much in the beginning.

I was just removing the sticky buns from the oven when I felt Bella's presence. After putting them aside to cool, I glanced over. She was standing in the doorway watching me closely. I almost fucking bust a nut when I got a good look at her long legs and hard nipples. Pregnancy always made her hot, so she only slept in shit like camis and underwear.

"Good morning, babydoll," I greeted nicely. "How did you sleep?"

Her beautiful eyes met mine. "I slept well, Edward. What is that delicious smell?"

I adjusted myself while she went to stand by the stove. She put a piece of Focaccia on a plate and covered it with fresh mozzarella cheese. Then she handed it all over to me. I turned the grill on and warmed it to perfection.

"You always spoil me when I come over," she said, a blush covering her cheeks.

I smirked. "I could have _spoiled_ you so much more if you'd come to my bed last night."

My babydoll pulled on the tie of the periwinkle silk robe she was wearing and smiled. I took the opportunity to take off my t-shirt, leaving me in basketball shorts and nothing else. Bella made a small sound and crossed her legs. She fucking loved my bare chest.

"It's pretty fucking hot in here," I said before rubbing some cool water on my abs. "I woke up and boxed this morning."

Bella practically squeaked,"Um, I should go eat..."

Fast as lightening, I picked her up and placed her on the counter. She breathed heavily as I put a warm piece of bread to her lips. Slowly, she opened her mouth, taking a huge bite. I leaned forward and licked a crumb from the corner of her mouth.

"Is it good, babydoll?"

"So good," she replied, opening her legs so I could come closer.

"Do you want more?"

"Yes," Her voice was almost breathless.

Who knows what the fuck would have happened if our son hadn't chosen that moment to throw his bear bowl out of the playpen and scream, "Ma ma, no!"

Bella scrambled off the counter, running over before I could get myself under control. She lifted DC out of his playpen, covering his fat face with kisses. I swear he fucking winked at me as she cradled him to her breast. _Mi figlio_ was still the best cockblocker on the West coast.

Sighing, I finished making breakfast and put it all on the table. Dante oohed and ahhed as my babydoll fed him a piece of warm sticky bun. When our eyes met, she shrugged and mouthed, 'Later'. I really fucking hoped I'd get some pussy later, but I had my doubts.

Breakfast was great. We put DC in his high chair and made conversation. Bella refused to tell me anything about my birthday gift while I begged ridiculously. Our son mainly ignored us and played with his alphabet blocks.

"So, what have you got planned today?" I asked Bella casually.

She took a sip of orange juice before replying. "I'm going over the schedule for our next few book tour stops with Angela. I think I want to postpone New York until after I have the twins."

I nodded. "Good idea. I'm going with you so have her add it to my schedule when you decide."

"Um, well you see... Giles is supposed to join us at the New York stop. It's easier for him to meet there since he's coming from London," she informed me, her voice nervous.

I laughed. "I don't fucking care, Bella. We're still very much together. The sooner Giles realizes he doesn't have a fucking chance, the better."

Bella balled up her fists, her eyes shooting fire my way. "In case you missed the memo, we are getting divorced! You can't tell me who I can and can't be friends with, Edward. Giles and I..."

"Stop using him to make me jealous!" I snarled, my own anger matching hers. "It's obvious you don't care for him."

"Oh really! Is that why we spent half of last night talking via webcam?" Her fork dropped the moment she finished the sentence.

I chewed the quiche slowly, letting her sweat it out. "You spent the night _talking_ to Giles. If it was me and you we'd have been fucking long distance. Remember when I made you touch your pussy and pretend it was me? I bet that motherfucker has never even seen your treasure."

"You're so damn cocky," Bella hissed, standing up. "Well I may be knocked up and alone, but I still have options."

"I never said you didn't babydoll! I fucking love you. I'm your soulmate, remember? The divorce doesn't mean shit to me, because you'll always be mine."

She sat back down. "You've had years of experience... I've only had you, and it turned out badly. I'm not saying I can ever be sexual with any man, Giles included, but I need time to explore my feelings. I know I shouldn't have led you on in L.A., but I was having a weak moment. We can't stay stuck in this rut, Edward."

"You're free to do whatever you want," I said curtly. "Just don't think I'll sit idly by and let some other man take my family away. You know deep down we belong together."

After breakfast, Bella went to get DC ready for the day. I took a quick cold shower and dressed in some casual clothes. I only had a half day of work for the Polaris business, and then DC and I could hit up the city. I liked showing him shit and watching his reactions.

A few hours later, I helped Bella into the Phantom. She was wearing some short ass purple dress and wedge shoes. The whole ensemble showed off her tits and ass way too much. I tried to hold my fucking tongue, but it was driving me batshit crazy.

"Go ahead and say it," she muttered, glaring at me.

I exhaled loudly. "Please go change. That shit is too fucking short and tight. I won't be with you. What if some fucker grabs your ass? Do you want me to commit a homicide today?"

Bella leaned across the console and kissed my cheek. "I'll be fine, Edward."

_**~~LAMTAF~~**_

"Mister Cullen, would you like to see the striped bunny dresses in pink or yellow," the sales assistant asked while I gazed at the rack.

DC sat quietly and played with his toys while i used my shoe to push his stroller back and forth. Three women had come up to me the minute I entered the baby boutique and after they saw my son, they'd really stuck to us.

"Both," I answered. "I also want the Gingham silk for infant sizes in all colors."

"You have wonderful taste," the sales lady gushed, clasping her hands together.

I smiled graciously. "Oh, and my wife is very fond of sunflowers so anything with those I'll buy."

While they went to wrap up boxes, I picked out a few pairs of jeans and polo shirts for Dante. His little but was growing out of shit every day. It was a good thing we were rich, because feeding and clothing small kids was fucking expensive.

"You like this," I asked, holding up a 7 For All Mankind jean set for Dante. He tried to chew the fucking hanger, so I took it as a yes.

An hour later, Felix was loading boxes in to my trunk. He rolled his eyes when he saw all the shit I'd brought. Everyone, including my babydoll, said I went overboard with the kids. I just wanted them to have the best. Besides, I'd spent my entire life fucking up shit and killing so they could live well.

A little after two, we met up with Carlisle to have lunch. He'd picked a spot near the hospital and it was busy with medical school students getting takeout. Bitches kept giggling and coming up to talk to me, so I kept my Tungsten ring in full view.

Carlisle tickled DC's stomach before sitting down. He looked fucking tired but still really happy. I noticed young and old women flirted with him, too. My mom was lucky to have a husband who loved her and remained faithful. These last few years had really made me look up to Carlisle-I wanted to be more like him.

The restaurant was cafeteria style, so we'd gotten our own food. DC had tried to shove his french fries up his nose until I showed him the correct way to eat them. A little bit of ketchup and he was good to go.

"This place has the best turkey club in Seattle," Carlisle remarked while adding mayonnaise and mustard to his sandwich.

After eating some of my steak sub and Greek salad, I had to agree. Though I preferred fancy restaurants, there were some casual places which were just as good. I made a mental note to get something to go for my babydoll.

"How are you, son? Any questions about the pregnancy you want me to answer? As far as I can tell, the girls are developing normally. Your mom and I are over the moon. We love it when you guys add to the family."

I smiled. "Nah, I think I know a lot about pregnancy and changing hormones. Bella drives me fucking crazy, but I'm glad I'm here to live the experience with her. I won't fuck up again."

He nodded. "I know it's going to be stressful on you both with three small children. Plus the next few months will be crucial for Bella. I'll do everything within my power to make sure she stays healthy."

"I didn't think I wanted kids," I admitted, glancing over at my son. "Now, I can't imagine my life without DC and the little babydolls. I'm just worried about Bella. I know giving birth to twins can cause...complications."

Carlisle patted me on the back. "Bella is a healthy young woman who has already been through one successful birth. The odds are in her favor. If she shows any signs of distress, I'll have her put on bed rest. So far, her blood pressure and vitals look fantastic. Just keep taking care of her the same way you did last time."

After our talk, I felt much better. I knew it would literally kill me to lose Bella or the twins. I had done some bad things, but those were my sins not theirs. Doctor Crowley was always telling me to stay positive, though. With my illness, I couldn't afford to stress out about shit that might never occur.

DC and I spent the rest of the day at the Seattle Children's Museum and the mall. I made sure to use plenty of sunscreen on his fat rolls and tried to keep a hat on his head. We attracted lots of female attention, but I only had thoughts for my angel.

It was almost seven when we pulled up to the Penthouse garage. DC had fallen asleep in the car, so I carried his little limp body up to the Penthouse. Felix stayed down to load up the boxes.

"Aren't you off work yet?" I heard Jessica's nasally voice ask as I stepped off the elevator.

Then I watched in horror as Jane and she practically fucked against the wall. Jane was much taller, so Jessica had to wrap her legs around Jane's waist. They were dry humping and fondling each other's breasts.

I cleared my throat loudly. "Stop that shit! There are children present, and I really don't want to be accused of making porn without a license."

Jane jumped away from Jessica, straightening her gray vest. "Sorry, boss."

I decided to go easy on her. "It's alright. Where's Bella? Did anybody touch her ass today?"

Jessica rolled her eyes. "You are such a stalker, Edward. It would have _never _worked out between us."

I laughed. "Like you had a chance."

"I'm glad you're happy," Jessica said sincerely. "I'm happy, too, but I'd be happier if you let my lover come home early. Pleassssse."

I waved them away. "Go ahead."

There were some female squealing and slurping noises before I finally managed to open the front door. The first thing I noticed was Bella passed out on the sectional. She was still wearing the same dress, but her shoes had been removed. She looked so fucking peaceful curled under a yellow throw blanket. Of course the demon cat was perched next to her feet.

After I put DC in his bed, I went to join my babydoll. I had to splash the fucking cat with water to get it to leave before sitting down. Bella mumbled and shifted, which made the blanket fall a bit. I drooled as I got an eyeful of her creamy tits.

Making sure to stay quiet, I began rubbing her feet. Everything about her was so small and delicate. I thought it was amazing her little body could bring forth something as huge as Dante. Women really were the strongest beings on Earth. I'd been such a goddamn fool to think all females were worthless.

"Edward," she whispered, her eyes fluttering open. "What time is it? Where is my little lamb?"

"It's almost eight. DC is asleep in his bed. I tired him out, so he should sleep through the night. How do you feel, babydoll?"

"Exhausted," she answered, sitting up. "I don't remember being this tired with Dante."

I had to put my foot down. "I'm cutting you to ten hours a week. We have enough money, so you can stay home and write. I know you're stubborn as fuck but think about the babies."

"Okay."

She laid back down so I could finish the foot massage. I put pressure on her insoles and rubbed her upper foot. She whimpered, her eyes widening. I kissed each of her tiny toes, which made her giggle. My angel was pretty ticklish.

I told Bella about the hand painting DC and I made for her and how well he did with the other kids. Sure, he had tantrums but he got over shit pretty quickly. My babydoll loved hearing about our day, her smile almost blinding me.

"He loves it when you spend time with him. Thank you, Edward."

I opened a bottle of water and took a long slug. "No problem. He's my son, too. I like the little dude. He's pretty funny."

Suddenly, Bella climbed on my lap and started kissing me long and hard. I placed my hand on her ass, pulling her close. She hummed and nibbled on my top lip, letting her palmhand wander to my crotch. I stilled her hand before she could continue further.

"Bella..."

She laid her head on my shoulder. "I know, and I"m sorry. It's just... Sometimes I want you so much. Why do you have to be so hot and sweet all at the same time?"

"A gift," I quipped, sniffing her hair. She smelled so fucking sweet.

She began sucking on my neck, her little tongue occasionally licking my ear. I was so hard it hurt. Luckily, I managed to remove her dress without changing our position. Despite the words Bella said, her body told me something different. She needed the sex as much as me.

"Let's go take a bath," I suggested, standing up with her in my arms.

After I set up the Jacuzzi jets and bubbles, I sat Bella on the edge of the tub. I opened her legs and buried my face in her snatch. She was already soaking wet and swollen with need. I ate her out while she ran her fingers through my hair.

"Don't stop," she begged, her nails digging into my bare back.

"Never."

The first time I took her from behind, the force of my pumps making water splash over the edge. Bella came fast and hard, gasping and reaching back for me. The second time I laid against the tub while she rode my cock. My eyes never left her tits as they bounced proudly in front of my face. Occasionally, she'd lean down so I could get a taste.

"Delicious," I mumbled, squeezing her tight ass.

By the time we got out of the water, I felt like I was about to drop. Bella ordered food and fed me while I dozed in front of the television. She'd stolen one of my Harvard tees and cut out the shoulders. I thought she looked fucking sexy.

"Our babies might be made of pasta," she warned playfully, "I just want to eat it all the time!"

We didn't talk about the divorce or our lovemaking. I suspected she knew I needed a night of normality before things turned to shit. Holding my babydoll close, I drifted to sleep. She still felt something for me, even if it wasn't love.

_**~~LAMTAF~~**_

Scowling, I looked down at Phil Dwyer. It was fucked up that a man I'd never heard of or met had the ability to hurt my babydoll worse than any foe. He looked harmless enough and had passed the background checks, but I was still fucking leery of his motives.

"Don't say shit until I tell you to speak," I ordered, pounding the table for emphasis. "If it was up to me, she'd never have to meet you."

Phil nodded. "I understand, Mister Cullen. My therapist says I need closure before I get married and..."

He didn't get to finish, because my babydoll entered the room. I had guards everywhere, and Dwyer had been strip searched. I figured he had to be desperate to consent to all our demands. When he saw Bella, his face turned white.

"You're as beautiful as your mother," he said, startling her.

I smacked him on the back of his head. "I fucking told you not to speak yet!"

Bella took a seat and held up her hand. "It's okay, Edward. Let him talk."

I took my post behind her and began rubbing her shoulders. She patted my hand, smiling to let me know she was fine. We'd chosen to have the meeting in my office conference room where there was a long table separating Dwyer from my angel.

"First off, I have to say what an honor it is to meet you, Bella. I knew you when you were little, but Renee kept our contact brief. She was always so worried you'd say something to your dad," he said, leaning forward.

Bella sniffled, using a tissue to wipe her nose. "You have to understand, I never knew my mom had an affair. Did my father know?"

Phil nodded, sadness all over him. "He threatened me once. He said he'd kill me if I didn't stop seeing her. Renee was bored in Forks, and I was missing Florida. It started out as a few one-night stands, but soon...soon I fell in love with her."

Bella gasped and squeezed my hand. "Why? I just don't understand. I have so few memories of my mom, but I know she loved Charlie."

"She did love him," he admitted. "She just made a mistake. I was younger than her and fool enough to believe she'd run away with me. She chose Charlie and you, and it just about killed me,"

"Why do you want me to know all this?" Bella asked, her shoulders trembling.

Dwyer stood up. "I need closure. After Renee died, I turned to the bottle. Two years ago, I entered hard core rehab. I met a wonderful woman who has changed me for the better. My therapist says I really won't be able to complete my journey until I let go of the past. I just... I just wanted to apologize to you. It's my fault Renee is dead."

"How so?" I asked, putting the guards on alert.

"That night... I called Renee and threatened to tell everyone about our affair. I said I'd put up pictures of us all over the police station where Charlie could see them. She...she was coming to see me that night. If I'd just left her alone... I'm so sorry, Bella. It's my fault you grew up without a mother."

Bella hiccuped as I pulled her into my arms. My father had been a serial cheater who didn't take his marriage vows seriously; however, Renee had chosen her family and husband over the affair. I didn't want my angel to hate the memory of her mother..

"I'm so sorry," Dwyer whispered, rocking back and forth.

Bella stopped crying and asked for a drink of water. Then she sat back down, composing herself beautifully. I was so proud of her strength and grace. She handled bad shit like a pro-she really was the right woman for me.

"I forgive you, Phil Dwyer. You weren't the drunk driver who hit my mother. Go ahead and live your life.

"Both of my parents are gone, but I know they are still somewhere looking down on me. Despite Renee being gone, I had a great childhood. Though my time with my parents was brief, I experienced more love than most people will ever know. Don't let it weight you down any longer."

Dwyer thanked my babydoll repeatedly before being led from the room by a burly guard.

He took one last look at Bella before the door closed. I didn't know the fucker, but he had balls for even trying to make it right.

I dismissed everyone and held Bella while she played with a button on my shirt. For a long time, we didn't say anything. I paid special attention to her face to make sure she wasn't feeling sick.

"I don't hate my mom, Edward. She was weak, but I know she loved Charlie and me."

I kissed her forehead. "You're so brave, babydoll. I'm proud of you."

"Edward, Mister Dwyer isn't the only one I need to forgive today. I need to forgive you for what you did. It still hurts, and I suspect I'll always feel pain knowing you cheated on me."

"I'm so sorry, Bella," I whispered, holding her tightly. "I wish I could erase those months from our life together."

She squeezed my hand. "You know I still love you. I forgive you, but it's over. The marriage vows we took don't mean anything. Just give me some time, Edward. I'm not saying we'll never get back together, but we need to start over."

I wiped some stray tears from my eyes and kissed her silken cheeks. "Anything for you, babydoll. The divorce will be hard on me, but I understand completely. Promise me you won't abandon me. I really can't survive without you."

"I promise," she whispered. "I promise to always be your friend and partner. If it's meant to be, we'll end up together in the end."

Later, I managed to get Bella to tell me about the surprise birthday party Esme and Di had planned for me over the weekend. I told her I didn't want anything but her naked in bed, but she assured me her gift was even better than sex. I was pretty fucking skeptical.

_**~~LAMTAF~~**_

I stepped off the private jet and hopped into a shiny black Mercedes Benz. The driver already had his instructions, taking off as soon as my bags were in the trunk. I'd told my babydoll I had a last minute work trip, because she would have killed me if she really knew my destination.

Even though it was after midnight, the streets were full of people. I watched from my window as a young man and woman embraced under the stars. I imagined it was my babydoll and I enjoying each other's company, though I was prepared for her never to speak to me again after she found out about my deceit.

I checked into my hotel suite to change before going back out. Wearing all black, I picked up an unregistered Maserati in the garage. Law enforcement in the States was bad enough, and I didn't need the Interpol fuckers after me, too.

The ride from Mayfair to Chelsea didn't take long. Luckily, there were places to park outside of the flat. Unlike the seedier parts of London, these streets were clean and safe. I made sure my Glock was loaded before exiting the vehicle.

It was too damn easy to pick the fucker's locks, so I used the excess time to go through his drawers. He was extremely organized and had way too many pictures of my babydoll in his office. Growling, I grabbed a bottle of his most expensive wine and poured it down the kitchen drain.

I was sitting on his white leather sofa when he walked through the door. Immediately, he pulled out the phone. I ran over and slapped it out of his hand. I really didn't see what Bella saw in the fucker, but I had to know she was safe with him. If it had of been up to me, he would have been swimming with the fishes long ago.

"Edward Cullen," he asked, confusion on his face. "Why are you in my flat?"

I smirked. "Sit down, Atwood. We need to talk about some shit."

The dumb fucker tried to run, so I was forced to knock him down. We wrestled on the floor, his weak punches nothing against my fists of fury. Soon I got tired of the shit and hit him with the butt of my gun. I checked his pulse to make sure he was passed out and not dead. Unfortunately, he was still breathing. It was going to be a long fucking night.

* * *

_Please review. The smuttake from last chapter will be posted tomorrow. Check out Naughty Rendezvous for that one._


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